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Date   : 03/28/2006    Duedate: 04/24/2006

CRYSALIS

DM-106    TURN-168

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 CHAMPIONS OF  8/1106    4    1  0 80.0      Z GLADIATORZ 8/1128                   
  2 REAL BEER 21/859     1761  886 24 66.5    5 ANDORIAN KNIG 11/962  102   90  2 53.1
    CRUEL PET NAMES 40/1117                   6 X-FORCE 8/1054         21   21  2 50.0
    HERE TO PHOENIX 26/871                      X-POSSE 72/1093                       
    PRIMATES-R-US 25/963                      7-ODIN'S CHOSE 73/1088    2    2  0 50.0
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/476                       8-SECOND CHANC 71/1130  129  142  2 47.6
    MILITARY MAYHEM 31/37                     9 VALHALLA 28/1102       45   50  1 47.4
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/664                         THE BEAR'S PAW 47/196                 
    INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/745               10-SIR AGLIO 10/716       78   92  1 45.9
    IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS 7/883               11 SAND DANCERS 52/942   322  557  1 36.6
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/10                           SAND DANCERS 51/610                   
    CHAPEL ROCK 79/615                          NORTHERN LIGHTS 45/1042               
  3 OVERRATED 96/1044      33   22  1 60.0      MIDDLE WAY 6 50/1114                  
    UNFIT TO BE ORCS 31/881                     THE MIDDLE WAY 39/946                 
    WASTED SCUM 47/1112                         MIDDLE WAY 7 31/1131                  
  4 LENPROS 30/189        132  100  0 56.9   12 KNIGHTS TEMP 47/1132    1    7  0 12.5
    FLOWER GIRLS 52/265                      13 WHY DID I DO 31/1129    2    0  0  100
    GOLDEN GLADIATORS 16/577              

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                             ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 268): INOCHI of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  28 SLAUGHTER PRIEST MEM (turn 265): MR. CHOMP CHOMP of THE PENTARCHY (Le
                                         Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 263): BRILLIANT ORANGE of UNFIT TO BE ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): HOT AIR DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 240): ZOEY of A DEAL'S A DEAL (Applejack, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 235): JACK MCFARLAND of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 222): YAIWE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 215): INSOLENT IRIS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 205): NICKLEBACK of MILLENIUM METAL (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 170): EYE OF THE KNEE DOLL of HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 170): 2 PHAT 2 of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 170): APPLE DANISH of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 268): ORCISH IDIOMS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  28 SLAUGHTER PRIEST MEM (turn 265): none
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 263): THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 240): A DEAL'S A DEAL (Applejack, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 235): none
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 222): DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 215): BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 205): none
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 170): NIGHTHAWKS (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 170): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 170): FAMILY JEWELS (Gem Genius, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 268): TOM SAWYER of SMITHSONIAN (The Curator, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 263): BRILLIANT ORANGE of UNFIT TO BE ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
                   (turn 262): BARTOFELES of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                               KAMBARD MURH of MIDDLE WAY 7 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 235): BOMBADIL of FREEDONIA (Mr. Snarky, mgr.)
                     (turn 234): ART PENDRAGON of KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (Baphomet, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 221): NEUMA of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
                              FENDER GRALE of MIDDLE WAY 6 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 204): SILVERBOLT of RUNNING AMOK (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
                          WIMPIRA of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (170): MAKKEH KILLER of MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                         Reflections by the Chief Tower Guard

     Not sure if I'll be fighting this turn or not.  Crip's mail has been acting up
of late.  Usually, it is just slow getting to him, but for some reason, things have
been redirected to the center of Canada for the past two to three weeks, which will
result in the mail coming back 2-3 weeks later that it normally would, which is
pretty damn late.  Crip was supposed to have sent in strats for Fratsfa and Crysalis
in one of those weekends, but thinking back on it now, it may have been Fratsfa and
Home Guard.  Usually he writes down what was sent in on what date, but because of
spring holiday travels, it didn't happen this time.
     Only one way to find out what will happen.  Either way, we will be back again
next turn for sure.

King Uvdahell
Royal Flush

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     You want a spy report?  I hardly know if I can face it.  True, thirty-one fights 
gives the impression of activity, life, and interest in the arena... until you count 
the mimes out there.  FIFTEEN standbys fought today!  That is pathetic, and I 
wouldn't blame other spy reporters if they sneered.  Well, okay, I would blame them.  
But I'd understand how they came to do it, too.  FIFTEEN....
     As noted, thirty-one fights.  No deaths.  You could at least have killed some of 
the damned mimes.  Nine challenges, none of them TV challenges.  Pull up your socks 
and make us proud here, you sluggards!  There's a tourney coming up, and I want to 
see half a dozen tv challenges here after it.  That means you ENTER and you WIN.  Do 
it.
     Royal Flush was avoided by the Andorian Knights this month.  Good work, use the 
tools of management provided to you.
     The Unknown Spymaster says that "everybody wants a piece of SHARD," which seems 
appropriate give his name.  Most challenged this time out.  We'll see how it worked 
out for the "lucky" challenger later.
     Two fights were tied at five minutes for Longest Fight of the Day.  Five 
minutes?  This is ridiculous!  A dedicated pair of warriors here should go DAYS, and 
not mind the rain, either.  Just plain silly.  Five minutes.  Pfaugh.

     Okay, something about the fights.  You will pardon me if I sneer occasionally, I 
trust.  Fifteen standbys!  The mind boggles.
     SUNFLASH (45-3474) (29-34-1,60) of NORTHERN LIGHTS fought BALDER (28-3778) (18-
16-3,66) of VALHALLA.  SUNFLASH was viciously subdued by BALDER in a crowd pleasing 1 
minute brutal fight.  Sunflash was at a major disadvantage today, in that the sun did 
not shine, so there were no flashes.  Life is tough, and then it rains.
     SNOWFALL (45-3473) (38-25-0,88) of NORTHERN LIGHTS fought R.O.U.S. (106-4) (0-0-
0,50) of the College of Mimes.  SNOWFALL handily defeated R.O.U.S. in a 1 minute 
mismatched match.  An excellent bit of work there.  These rats are getting too bold.  
I blame it on the magicians that infest this island.
     HOLLAN INNIS (50-3388) (21-26-0,46) of MIDDLE WAY 6 fought CAPTURED PIRATE KING 
(106-2) (0-0-0,30) of the College of Mimes.  HOLLAN INNIS was overpowered by CAPTURED 
PIRATE KING in a 1 minute one-sided bout.  In the confusion at the end of this fight, 
the Pirate King escaped.  If you see him around, report it to the Crysalis Arena 
Guards.  Do not approach him, as he should be considered armed and, apparently, 
dangerous.
     FENDER GRALE (50-3389) (18-30-2,86) of MIDDLE WAY 6 fought R.O.U.S. (106-4) (0-
0-0,50) of the College of Mimes.  FENDER GRALE was demolished by R.O.U.S. in a 1 
minute one-sided fight.  What an introduction to the Isle, eh?  We like people to 
start out properly humbled.  But it would have been better if he'd been humbled by a 
real warrior.
     CUBA (26-3917) (19-8-0,87) of HERE TO PHOENIX fought EGAN FORN (39-3295) (31-51-
0,33) of THE MIDDLE WAY.  CUBA vanquished EGAN FORN in an exciting 1 minute one-sided 
fray.  One-sided hardly begins to describe this.  The ineptitude of Egan Forn is 
approaching legendary proportions.  Only approaching, because there are, believe it 
if you will, warriors here on the Isle who are even more inept.
     IT FELT GOOD (31-5093) (19-9-0,91) of WHY DID I DO IT fought KAMBARD MURH (31-
5045) (18-21-0,75) of MIDDLE WAY 7.  IT FELT GOOD overpowered KAMBARD MURH in a 1 
minute one-sided fight.  Well... it felt good for SOMEBODY, no doubt.

     BEARNICE (47-2847) (20-28-6,101) of THE BEAR'S PAW fought GENERAL PUBLIC (31-
3112) (18-15-1,102) of MILITARY MAYHEM.  BEARNICE slimly won victory over GENERAL 
PUBLIC in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bout.  And Bearnice is, indeed, a pleasingly slim 
figure.  We enjoy watching her move.  And so does the general public.
     TAOS (26-4042) (18-10-1,110) of HERE TO PHOENIX fought FIVE GOLDEN RINGS (16-
4331) (29-4-0,102) of GOLDEN GLADIATORS.  TAOS was luckily beaten by FIVE GOLDEN 
RINGS in an action packed 5 minute gory duel.  One of our two longest fights, this.  
And five minutes was, I would guess, a lucky number for the winner.
     OUR LADY PEACE (79-1191) (24-9-2,162) of CHAPEL ROCK fought IMPRISONED SPY (106-
9) (0-0-0,170) of the College of Mimes.  OUR LADY PEACE was defeated by IMPRISONED 
SPY in an action packed 1 minute match.  This is not good.  The Imprisoned Spy (I 
don't know where this particular one came from) is not, perhaps, a great warrior, but 
he's cunning.  The Arena Guards were able to catch him as he was oozing through the 
door, but what if they hadn't, eh?
     BEAR ACUDA (47-4995) (23-11-1,155) of THE BEAR'S PAW fought ORPHAN (72-5463) 
(22-12-2,133) of X-POSSE.  BEAR ACUDA won victory over ORPHAN in a 1 minute fight.  
Orphan is now to be known as Armless Orphan.
     GROLSCH (21-5029) (46-8-4,196) of REAL BEER fought CRYSALIS GUARD (106-29) (0-0-
0,200) of the College of Mimes.  GROLSCH was savagely defeated by CRYSALIS GUARD in 
an exciting 2 minute gory duel.  Well, what can I say?  This is one of the guards who 
has to keep the Imprisoned Spies from escaping.  A certain level of skill is required 
of him.
     PRIMUS (21-4975) (50-15-0,198) of REAL BEER fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106-30) (0-
0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  PRIMUS viciously subdued VERMICIOUS KNID in an 
exciting 5 minute gory bout.  The other Longest Fight, and a pleasure it was to see 
the Knid, thoroughly Vermicious (disgusting, truly disgusting), being hacked into 
little pieces and dissolved in REAL beer.  Good work!

     TEN COMMANDMENTS (47-3843) (48-40-1,198) of ROYAL FLUSH fought VERMICIOUS KNID 
(106-30) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  TEN COMMANDMENTS was luckily beaten by 
VERMICIOUS KNID in a 3 minute fray.  Unfortunately, while one may put a Vermicious 
Knid down, it's hard to KEEP them down.  They regenerate like flatworms, and have 
morals to match.
     JACK SPRAT (47-2954) (57-63-4,188) of ROYAL FLUSH fought ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL 
(106-28) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  JACK SPRAT was beaten by ARENAMASTER 
SANDAVOL in an action packed 2 minute fight.  Yes, well, an arenamaster, what can you 
expect?  Even here on the Isle, and arenamaster is not a pushover.
     DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (72-41-3,196) of ROYAL FLUSH fought THE BLACKSMITH (106-
22) (0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes.  DAIRY QUEEN overpowered THE BLACKSMITH in a 
crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched fight.  The Blacksmith was helpless before her 
sweet wiles, and the crowd was thrilled when she threw ice cream into the stands.  
Messy, but thrilled.
     JACK VALTRAEDS (47-407) (97-63-2,244) of ROYAL FLUSH fought CRYSALIS GUARD (106-
29) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  JACK VALTRAEDS savagely defeated CRYSALIS 
GUARD in an exciting 4 minute brutal match.  Yes, and the next time an Imprisoned Spy 
gets away, we are sending YOU, Jack, to bring him back.
     FIGHTER ACE (47-1189) (66-45-6,300) of ROYAL FLUSH fought RIRORNI CAPTAIN (106-
26) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  FIGHTER ACE was devastated by RIRORNI 
CAPTAIN in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.  I view this with deep suspicion.  
Can it be, as has been insinuated, that the Rirorni have sent their captains to the 
Isle to study personal combat, and that these skilled (and they learn skills 
constantly) warriors will then return to lead their tribes against us?  Kill him next 
time, Fighter Ace!

     NEWT GINGRICH (5-3399) (72-25-0,259) of PARTY ANIMALS fought VERMICIOUS KNID 
(106-30) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  NEWT GINGRICH viciously subdued 
VERMICIOUS KNID in an action packed 2 minute duel.  Yet another Knid, sliced and 
diced into a Vermicious Sausage.  Remind me not to eat sausage here on the Isle any 
time soon.
     DISCO QUEEN (47-1992) (43-21-1,231) of ROYAL FLUSH fought RIRORNI CAPTAIN (106-
26) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  DISCO QUEEN was handily defeated by RIRORNI 
CAPTAIN in a 2 minute one-sided conflict.  You see?  The Rirorni Captains are getting 
too skilled for their regular opponents.  They may be escaping SOON, and I urge all 
gladiators to be on the lookout for them!  They must not be allowed to leave the 
Isle.
     KING FORADAY (47-3762) (54-45-4,251) of ROYAL FLUSH fought AMBER WOLFWALKER 
(106-11) (0-0-0,220) of the College of Mimes.  KING FORADAY was devastated by AMBER 
WOLFWALKER in a 1 minute one-sided battle.  "Devastated," indeed.  The rumors are 
amazing.  Will this couple marry?
     ROTTEN LIVER (52-2902) (33-13-1,217) of OTTO'S PARTS fought VERMICIOUS KNID 
(106-30) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  ROTTEN LIVER was luckily beaten by 
VERMICIOUS KNID in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.  Knids don't care what they eat, 
fresh liver, rotten liver, chopped liver, all the same to them.  And, as you can see, 
they're breeding, growing in numbers and ferocity.  We are at risk from these 
Vermicious Knids!
     SANDBLASTER (11-3899) (68-62-3,215) of ANDORIAN KNIGHTS fought BEAUTY QUEEN (47-
3352) (44-47-3,199) of ROYAL FLUSH.  SANDBLASTER was savagely defeated by BEAUTY 
QUEEN in a popular 4 minute gory melee.  Popular indeed!  Everyone likes to watch the 
Beauty Queen in her famous Swimsuit.

     And now (finally) the challenge matches.
     CHAOS WARRIOR (8-1779) (27-19-0,78) of CHAMPIONS OF STEEL challenged ELLITA FESS 
(50-3392) (27-26-1,80) of MIDDLE WAY 6.  Up 2.  CHAOS WARRIOR was viciously subdued 
by ELLITA FESS in a 4 minute Challenge duel.  I had never guessed that Ellita could 
be vicious, although, of course, she IS female.  But perhaps it's her passion for 
order at work here.
     ZIT (8-4385) (17-2-0,73) of Z GLADIATORZ challenged GILIA HARN (50-3391) (25-29-
0,73) of MIDDLE WAY 6.  Straight across.  ZIT was viciously subdued by GILIA HARN in 
an action packed 3 minute Challenge duel.  Amazing what you can do with soap, water, 
and sandpaper, isn't it?
     MELTDOWN (8-4353) (24-14-0,119) of X-FORCE challenged SHARD (45-3507) (23-30-
1,125) of NORTHERN LIGHTS.  Up 6.  MELTDOWN was viciously subdued by SHARD in an 
action packed 2 minute Challenge fight.  This is Most Challenge Shard, remember.  
Meltdown wanted this.  I hope he learned things.
     RANDOM MATCHUP (96-1048) (18-11-4,119) of OVERRATED challenged PHILLIP THE BIRD 
(40-3708) (15-7-0,113) of CRUEL PET NAMES.  Down 6.  RANDOM MATCHUP defeated PHILLIP 
THE BIRD in an exciting 2 minute Challenge struggle.  The name of the challengeing 
warrior and his team go well in this context, do they not?

     CANNONBALL (72-5313) (23-13-1,172) of X-POSSE challenged BURGER KING (47-4152) 
(39-33-3,209) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 37.  CANNONBALL was devastated by BURGER KING in a 
1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.  Those onions!  Can it be that the Burger Family has 
come up with a super-onion?
     MATADOR (11-4139) (54-45-3,202) of ANDORIAN KNIGHTS challenged BEERVAHNA (60-
4292) (32-30-3,206) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH.  Up 4.  MATADOR was viciously subdued by 
BEERVAHNA in a popular 2 minute Challenge fight.  Rumor has it that Beervahna has 
offered to by drinks all around after the fights are over today.
     STIGMA OF STUPID (31-4948) (24-8-1,195) of UNFIT TO BE ORCS challenged JUNINHO 
(7-4001) (32-18-1,195) of IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS.  Straight across.  STIGMA OF STUPID 
was overpowered by JUNINHO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.  What this may 
mean in the way of an assessment of Stigma's ability is, ah, debateable, and I think 
I'll pass on it.  After all, the Footballer kicked one of the bookies who got too 
pushy, and I value my shins.
     TOADKILLER DOG (47-1103) (24-7-1,201) of WASTED SCUM challenged GRINNON BEARIT 
(47-2955) (35-21-3,204) of THE BEAR'S PAW.  Up 3.  TOADKILLER DOG luckily beat 
GRINNON BEARIT in an exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.  But since Grinnon was not a 
toad, he escaped with his life.

     And for the title, an actual challenge!  RAVISHING REDBUD (52-3197) (31-7-0,225) 
of FLOWER GIRLS challenged KING UVDAHELL (47-1643) (44-21-1,258) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 
33.  RAVISHING REDBUD was viciously subdued by KING UVDAHELL in a 2 minute Challenge 
fight.  A good try, but not today, Ravi.  Thanks you for the column, King.

                                     Ketchum

THE TOWER GUARDIAN            W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 KING UVDAHELL 47-1643       45  21  1  278  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399        73  25  0  267  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407       98  63  2  252  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 BEERVAHNA 60-4292           33  30  3  219  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
 BURGER KING 47-4152         40  33  3  217  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-MONKEY BUSINESS 25-4040     30  17  1  216  PRIMATES-R-US (963)        LYRATILAN
 TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103      25   7  1  216  WASTED SCUM (1112)         NORTH FORK
 JUNINHO 7-4001              33  18  1  213  IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (883) BONSUR
 BEAUTY QUEEN 47-3352        45  47  3  211  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRIMUS 21-4975              51  15  0  207  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685         73  41  3  203  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-SANDPAWN 11-4169            57  35  1  203  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 GRINNON BEARIT 47-2955      35  22  3  203  THE BEAR'S PAW (196)       NORTH FORK
 RAVISHING REDBUD 52-3197    31   8  0  202  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
 ROTTEN LIVER 52-2902        33  14  1  198  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
 SANDBLASTER 11-3899         68  63  3  197  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 MATADOR 11-4139             54  46  3  197  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 TEN COMMANDMENTS 47-3843    48  41  1  197  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-MIRTA 51-4033               55  43  1  194  SAND DANCERS (610)         TRICORUS
 GROLSCH 21-5029             46   9  4  193  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 FIGHTER ACE 47-1189         66  46  6  191  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 KING FORADAY 47-3762        54  46  4  190  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 DISCO QUEEN 47-1992         43  22  1  190  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 JACK SPRAT 47-2954          57  64  4  189  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948    24   9  1  189  UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881)     CHIMLEVTAL
-SIR LY 10-4116              55  40  0  188  SIR AGLIO (716)            KOLACT
-DANNIA TYL SIO 52-3393      47  33  1  183  SAND DANCERS (942)         FRATSFA

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-MICHAEL J'EH FOX 60-5263    27  13  2  179  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
 CANNONBALL 72-5313          23  14  1  171  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
 OUR LADY PEACE 79-1191      24  10  2  159  CHAPEL ROCK (615)          MIROI CHANG
 BEAR ACUDA 47-4995          24  11  1  159  THE BEAR'S PAW (196)       NORTH FORK
-KYRA 51-3774                53  56  1  153  SAND DANCERS (610)         TRICORUS
-WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167     33   9  1  153  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ORPHAN 72-5463              22  13  2  137  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
 SHARD 45-3507               24  30  1  136  NORTHERN LIGHTS (1042)     STORMCROWE
 RANDOM MATCHUP 96-1048      19  11  4  127  OVERRATED (1044)           OLD VALAMANTIS
 FIVE GOLDEN RINGS 16-4331   30   4  0  116  GOLDEN GLADIATORS (577)    WILLAF
 MELTDOWN 8-4353             24  15  0  116  X-FORCE (1054)             ARKERS
 PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708    15   8  0  115  CRUEL PET NAMES (1117)     ZENSU
 BEARNICE 47-2847            21  28  6  112  THE BEAR'S PAW (196)       NORTH FORK
 TAOS 26-4042                18  11  1  111  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 IT FELT GOOD 31-5093        20   9  0   98  WHY DID I DO IT (1129)     CHIMLEVTAL
 GENERAL PUBLIC 31-3112      18  16  1   97  MILITARY MAYHEM (37)       CHIMLEVTAL
-SENATOR SEDALIA 30-4245     21   9  0   93  LENPROS (189)              IAYE
 ELLITA FESS 50-3392         28  26  1   91  MIDDLE WAY 6 (1114)        SNOWBOUND

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SNOWFALL 45-3473            39  25  0   90  NORTHERN LIGHTS (1042)     STORMCROWE
 GILIA HARN 50-3391          26  29  0   89  MIDDLE WAY 6 (1114)        SNOWBOUND
 CUBA 26-3917                20   8  0   89  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM
-NEUMA 50-3406               23  17  1   87  DARK SIDHE (642)           SNOWBOUND
-MANNAZ THORSSON 73-4269     19  12  1   86  ODIN'S CHOSEN (1088)       ERINIKA
 CHAOS WARRIOR 8-1779        27  20  0   76  CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (1106)  ARKERS
 BALDER 28-3778              19  16  3   72  VALHALLA (1102)            MORYA
 KAMBARD MURH 31-5045        18  22  0   72  MIDDLE WAY 7 (1131)        CHIMLEVTAL
-DAISY HAMMER 28-3317        15  26  1   72  FLOWER HAMMERZ (1057)      MORYA
 ZIT 8-4385                  17   3  0   68  Z GLADIATORZ (1128)        ARKERS
-SIR DA 10-5586              16  12  3   63  SIR AGLIO (716)            KOLACT
 SUNFLASH 45-3474            29  35  1   58  NORTHERN LIGHTS (1042)     STORMCROWE
 FENDER GRALE 50-3389        18  31  2   58  MIDDLE WAY 6 (1114)        SNOWBOUND
-ART PENDRAGON 47-5151       14  16  0   58  KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (1132)     NORTH FORK
-GOLDEN ARCHES 16-4984       15   6  0   51  GOLDEN GLADIATORS (577)    WILLAF
 EGAN FORN 39-3295           31  52  0   40  THE MIDDLE WAY (946)       XOCHITHLAN
 HOLLAN INNIS 50-3388        21  27  0   28  MIDDLE WAY 6 (1114)        SNOWBOUND

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                    W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY              TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Phillip The Bird -- We give; we give!  Leave us alone. -- Consortiumites (refusing to
extend a middle digit in the International symbol of disdain.)

     Leave it to the Cheap Shots, eh?

Beervahna -- And to think I thought you liked me!? -- Whacking Willow

Balder -- What would we all do without you? -- Zit

Grinnon Bearit -- Hey, Hon, I can see that you were grinning all the way to the
finish.  I have a way of doing that to people.  (wink) -- Ravishing Redbud

Blackstorm -- A "fast one"?  Us?  To summarize, one of us is Curator, manager of
Smithsonian, and one of us is The Z Man, manager of Z Gladiatorz.  We both reside in
Arkers--but Curator got there first.  It is true that we are both part of the
Consortium--whatever that means. -- Curator and Z Man

Congrats to Tower Guardian, King Uvdahell.  Salute. -- Us Consortium Folk 

Well met, Crysalis!  How fare thee?  What word from the Riddermark?  My Lord
Protectors said they wanted to duel, so who am I to stand in their way? -- The
Icelord

Ketchum -- Well met. -- The Icelord

     And excellent coffee.

Crip -- I see your stables are well represented.  Are any of yours moving on at the
split?  Well met. -- The Icelord 

Burger King -- Urg.  I should have asked you to hold the onions on that one.  Bleh.
-- Dannia tyl Sio

     Onions can be tricky, this is true.

Rotten Liver -- I've read lots of descriptions of rotten livers, and they all
emphasize how fragile rotten livers are.  You don't live up to your advance billing.
-- Mirta

     Yes, but he's splendidly rotten.

Cannonball -- Actually, it was NOT all that well fought on my part.  Disappointing.
I should be doing better than that.... -- Kyra

General Public -- Oh, I'd never trust the judgment of the general public.  Too fickle
and easily swayed.  Too much into the "instant gratification" thing. -- Shard

It Felt Good -- For YOU, maybe.  *I* didn't think so. -- Gilia Harn

Cuba -- If you say so, but the REAL question is, "From WHERE to Phoenix?"  It could
make a lot of difference. -- Sunflash
P.S.  Unless...surely you don't mean from "the place for which you were named" to
Phoenix?

The Rirorni Soldier learned FIVE skills, and I just got one?  And HE doesn't even get
to keep them!  This is so unfair! -- Egan Forn

     Do you think they get donated to charity or do they just get thrown away? --
     Ed., having one of those random days

Yes, well, any Pirate King who would be captured is by definition not a prime example
of the type. -- Ellita Fess

Chaos Warrior -- When I find myself near you, all my certainties vanish.  Nothing is
sure, nothing is reliable, nothing is ORDERLY.  I hate that. -- Hollan Innis

Don't know if this is the same Captured Pirate King or a different one, but he's
worthless, right enough. -- Snowfall

Ketchum -- Listen, I had a bad day.  It could happen to anyone. -- Egan Forn

Mannaz Thorsson -- Actually, that point is not supported by the available evidence.
But if you prefer to think of it that, feel free to do so.  I don't care. -- Hollan
Innis
P.S.  Actually, I had a much longer response planned, with a penetrating analysis of
religious symbology, script development, and cult practices, but I couldn't get
anyone to type it for me.  Probably a plot.

Chaos Warrior -- Worry is a way of organizing data. -- Egan Forn

Ed. -- The Commission isn't interested in us having fun. -- Egan Forn

     Well, phooey! -- Ed.

Crip -- Thankee for the welcome.  Nice to see you catching up. -- Blackstorm

24 March 2006
A few notes about e-mailed personals:

You may submit personal ads, columns, spotlights, etc. electronically, either via e-
mail to ads at reality dot com (which doesn't need any more spam, thank you) or on
the web at http://www.reality.com/duel2/modules.php?name=Ads.  When you submit
something, you should get back a receipt from HAL at RSI.  If you do NOT get a
receipt, your ads may have gone astray (not all e-mail makes it to its destination
any more than all snail mail does).  If you DO get a receipt, it should, in the body
of the message, tell you what arena your stuff was filed in.  Check your receipt to
make sure your submission made it to the intended destination.  Also check to see
that everything you sent made it to the same place.  Sometimes HAL, who is rather
simple-minded in some ways, will send half your stuff to another arena if the name
or number of that arena shows up at the beginning of a line.  So if the word Ti
appears at the beginning of a line halfway through your ads, all the ads after that
may end up in Ti, which is closed and doesn't need ads.  As a side note, sometimes
things move slowly, so don't wait until the last minute to send your ads and all.
If they get held up along the way, they may not show up until next turn.  Happy
writing! -- Ed.

28 March 2006
We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to welcome two managers to our fold.  Kon of
the Empire Rising, and Osiris!  May they be blessed with the blood of their enemies,
and give no quarter in War! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

RAVISHING REDBUD was viciously subdued by KING UVDAHELL in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
TOADKILLER DOG luckily beat GRINNON BEARIT in a exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.
STIGMA OF STUPID was overpowered by JUNINHO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
MATADOR was viciously subdued by BEERVAHNA in a popular 2 minute Challenge fight.
CANNONBALL was devastated by BURGER KING in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
RANDOM MATCHUP defeated PHILLIP THE BIRD in a exciting 2 minute Challenge struggle.
MELTDOWN was viciously subdued by SHARD in a action packed 2 minute Challenge fight.
ZIT was viciously subdued by GILIA HARN in a action packed 3 minute Challenge duel.
CHAOS WARRIOR was viciously subdued by ELLITA FESS in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
SANDBLASTER was savagely defeated by BEAUTY QUEEN in a popular 4 minute gory melee.
ROTTEN LIVER was luckily beaten by VERMICIOUS KNID in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
KING FORADAY was devastated by AMBER WOLFWALKER in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
DISCO QUEEN was handily defeated by RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 2 minute one-sided conflict.
NEWT GINGRICH viciously subdued VERMICIOUS KNID in a action packed 2 minute duel.
FIGHTER ACE was devastated by RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
JACK VALTRAEDS savagely defeated CRYSALIS GUARD in a exciting 4 minute brutal match.
DAIRY QUEEN overpowered THE BLACKSMITH in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched fight.
JACK SPRAT was beaten by ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in a action packed 2 minute fight.
TEN COMMANDMENTS was luckily beaten by VERMICIOUS KNID in a 3 minute fray.
PRIMUS viciously subdued VERMICIOUS KNID in a exciting 5 minute gory bout.
GROLSCH was savagely defeated by CRYSALIS GUARD in a exciting 2 minute gory duel.
BEAR ACUDA won victory over ORPHAN in a 1 minute fight.
OUR LADY PEACE was defeated by IMPRISONED SPY in a action packed 1 minute match.
TAOS was luckily beaten by FIVE GOLDEN RINGS in a action packed 5 minute gory duel.
BEARNICE slimly won victory over GENERAL PUBLIC in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bout.
IT FELT GOOD overpowered KAMBARD MURH in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
CUBA vanquished EGAN FORN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray.
FENDER GRALE was demolished by R.O.U.S. in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
HOLLAN INNIS was overpowered by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SNOWFALL handily defeated R.O.U.S. in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SUNFLASH was viciously subdued by BALDER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brutal fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   1 -  0      80  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -   7 -  0      71  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         LUNGING ATTACK    61 -  37 -  3      62  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         SLASHING ATTACK   15 -  11 -  0      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         TOTAL PARRY       28 -  28 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK    13 -  13 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         AIMED BLOW        14 -  15 -  1      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  19 -  0      42  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         STRIKING ATTACK   14 -  21 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         WALL OF STEEL     28 -  46 -  0      38  |

Turn 168 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      3 -  6         2  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  6     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   KING UVDAHELL 47-1643      45  21  1  278 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
SLASHING ATTACK  NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399       73  25  0  267 PARTY ANIMALS (476)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407      98  63  2  252 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
TOTAL PARRY      TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103     25   7  1  216 WASTED SCUM (1112)
AIMED BLOW       JUNINHO 7-4001             33  18  1  213 IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (883)
STRIKING ATTACK  BEAUTY QUEEN 47-3352       45  47  3  211 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
WALL OF STEEL    PRIMUS 21-4975             51  15  0  207 REAL BEER (859)
BASHING ATTACK   KING FORADAY 47-3762       54  46  4  190 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
PARRY-STRIKE     DISCO QUEEN 47-1992        43  22  1  190 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
PARRY-LUNGE      BEAR ACUDA 47-4995         24  11  1  159 THE BEAR'S PAW (196)

The overall popularity leader is JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was ROTTEN LIVER 52-2902.  The ten other most popular fighters were TAOS 
26-4042, ELLITA FESS 50-3392, NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399, PRIMUS 21-4975, KING UVDAHELL 
47-1643, PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708, TEN COMMANDMENTS 47-3843, BEARNICE 47-2847, GILIA 
HARN 50-3391, and BEAUTY QUEEN 47-3352.

The least popular fighter this week was HOLLAN INNIS 50-3388.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were FENDER GRALE 50-3389, EGAN FORN 39-3295, KAMBARD MURH 31-5045, 
CANNONBALL 72-5313, STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948, SUNFLASH 45-3474, ORPHAN 72-5463, DISCO 
QUEEN 47-1992, OUR LADY PEACE 79-1191, and BEAR ACUDA 47-4995.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  MORYA(28)            1  0 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        2  2 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  0 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  3 0  FRATSFA(52)          0  2 0  
ARKERS(8)            0  3 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       0  1 0  ARADI(60)            1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       0  2 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       0  2 0  
WILLAF(16)           1  0 0  STORMCROWE(45)       2  1 0  MIROI CHANG(79)      0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  1 0  NORTH FORK(47)       8  6 0  OLD VALAMANTIS(96)   1  0 0  
CALEAM(26)           1  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399        73  25  0  267  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 JUNINHO 7-4001              33  18  1  213  IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (883) BONSUR
 MELTDOWN 8-4353             24  15  0  116  X-FORCE (1054)             ARKERS
 SANDBLASTER 11-3899         68  63  3  197  ANDORIAN KNIGHTS (962)     ARUAK CITY
 FIVE GOLDEN RINGS 16-4331   30   4  0  116  GOLDEN GLADIATORS (577)    WILLAF
 PRIMUS 21-4975              51  15  0  207  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 TAOS 26-4042                18  11  1  111  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM
 BALDER 28-3778              19  16  3   72  VALHALLA (1102)            MORYA
 STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948    24   9  1  189  UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881)     CHIMLEVTAL
 EGAN FORN 39-3295           31  52  0   40  THE MIDDLE WAY (946)       XOCHITHLAN
 PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708    15   8  0  115  CRUEL PET NAMES (1117)     ZENSU
 SHARD 45-3507               24  30  1  136  NORTHERN LIGHTS (1042)     STORMCROWE
 KING UVDAHELL 47-1643       45  21  1  278  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 ELLITA FESS 50-3392         28  26  1   91  MIDDLE WAY 6 (1114)        SNOWBOUND
 RAVISHING REDBUD 52-3197    31   8  0  202  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
 BEERVAHNA 60-4292           33  30  3  219  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
 CANNONBALL 72-5313          23  14  1  171  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
 OUR LADY PEACE 79-1191      24  10  2  159  CHAPEL ROCK (615)          MIROI CHANG
 RANDOM MATCHUP 96-1048      19  11  4  127  OVERRATED (1044)           OLD VALAMANTIS