AD Date : 11/06/2007 Duedate: 12/03/2007 CRYSALIS DM-106 TURN-189 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 REAL BEER 21/859 1891 947 25 66.6 5-THE OPERA 47/1207 15 11 0 57.7 WAY TO GO! II 73/1010 6 TONGUE N CHE 82/1203 8 7 0 53.3 HERE TO PHOENIX 26/871 7 COMMON JOE'S 35/509 498 510 4 49.4 D.A. REJECTS 73/352 BLACK & BLUE 73/1090 PARTY ANIMALS 5/476 ONE GOOD DUDE 72/396 WORLDWIDE GORE 26/35 INSP GADGETS MINIONS 7/214 MILITARY MAYHEM 31/37 ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/219 OTTO'S PARTS 52/664 KIWI CONNECTION 73/1232 ROYAL FLUSH 47/10 DUELING FOR DOLLARS 25/558 CRUEL PET NAMES 40/1117 KIWI CONNECTION 13/747 2 LENPROS 30/189 230 128 0 64.2 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/808 ANIMAL FARM 11/1095 8 PLAYPEN 14/1146 99 121 3 45.0 Z GLADIATORZ 8/1128 VALHALLA 28/1102 TOADS OF AMBER III 82/1180 THE BEAR'S PAW 47/196 DARK TOADS 2/1185 9 DRUID'S GROV 50/1041 11 15 1 42.3 CRAZY CREEPS 60/363 10 DARKMOON 12/1169 49 77 1 38.9 PAPER MARIO 5/1224 VILE REAVERS 59/1134 GOLDEN GLADIATORS 16/577 SOL INVICTUS 31/993 FLOWER GIRLS 52/265 CHAOTICDISORDER 33/1170 DARK TOADS 05D 82/1184 AUTUMN LIGHTNING 58/1172 3-OLD HABITS 47/1230 310 190 1 62.0 11 DOGS OF WAR 4/1227 375 662 4 36.2 4 OVERRATED 96/1044 90 59 1 60.4 DODGE BULLETS 28/867 UNFIT TO BE ORCS 31/881 12-BLOOD AND GU 52/1228 1 2 0 33.3 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 47/704 13 FILIPINA LAD 28/1147 7 22 1 24.1 WASTED SCUM 47/1112 14 THINGS I DRO 47/1233 0 1 0 0.0 '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 289): LORD BYRON of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 286): SHARAPOVA of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 284): KATANA of AVENGERS (Huckle Cat, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 239): SMIRK of CHEAP SHOTS (Cheap Shots Manager, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 261): RAGGEDY ANN of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.) DM 47 DOUBLE X (turn 256): SISTER MARY SUEELLEN of OLD HABITS (Soultaker, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 242): HARRY MONSTER of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 236): INSOLENT IRIS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 226): PENELOTHE of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 214): DERELICT of ALL-STAR NANA'S (The Mun, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 190): EYE OF THE NEEDLE oF HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 191): PORKY PIG of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 191): WANSTEAD of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) DM 83 TELORINTHE (turn 6): OSSERC of THE ASCENDANTS (Wretch, mgr.) Top Teams --------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 289): BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 286): THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 284): DEATH'S DISCIPLES (Lord of Death, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 239): THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 261): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.) DM 47 DOUBLE X (turn 255): THINGS I DROOL IN (Snuln, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 242): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 236): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 225): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 214): ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 190): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 191): QUARTERFLASH (Brewmaster, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 191): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) DM 83 TELORINTHE (turn 6): CIXELSID HEROES (Master Beru, mgr.) Recent Graduates ---------------- DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 283): ULTHAR THYDRIM of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.) SVEIN FORKBEARD of LORDS OF VALHALLA (High Lord Bosk) DM 47 DOUBLE X (turn 255): MY SLEEP of THINGS I DROOL IN (Snuln, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 241): SWEET AIR of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.) GERRICK GRIMM of DRUID'S GROVE (Armalias, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 235): BOB LE CANADIEN of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 226): PENELOTHE of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): JESSICA RABBIT of BRAIN FOOD 36 (The Sandman, mgr.) (turn 188): PUPPY ON PATROL of DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 191): WANSTEAD of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) (turn 190): KARATIA of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM Reflections by the Chief Tower Guard As suspected, I am going to be forced off to Primus shortly. And as Crip the Wise pointed out, none of his other Crap will be joining me. However, don't fret, as 6 of his other Crap will be returning from Primus to do battle here, including Former TCs Irritating Beggar and Venomous Porcupine, along with German Shepard, George Washing Ten, Pet Cemetary and Major Damage. It's going to make for some tought budgetary decisions to decide who gets to fight and who doesn't. How did everyone else's split go? Fountain Troll D.A. Reject The Tower Guardian Of Crysalis REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER Oh, dear. Really, what else can I say? Debby Tonte took the "color" part of these notes, and her outlook is... original. No doubt the uproar (quite normal, mind you, there were no untoward events) surrounding a tourney, especially a tourney of the DEAD, has scrambled what little she has in the way of brains. It says here that the "Mutt Voted Prettiest" is Toadkiller Dog. Ah. Have any of you LOOKED at T. Dog lately? Looked CLOSELY? More to the point, has DEBBIE looked? The Bear's Paw was most avoided. Royal Flush, arriving from the same arena, so they probably know whereof they avoid, was the most avoiding. Brand got the most challenges. We had thirty fights, involving a mere two standbys. Nine challenges, none of them TV, but wait till next time. We may do better then. Nobody died. The longest fight was a respectable sixteen minutes. This is all good. Do it some more. All of which is mere prelude: Here are the fights. Short and fairly colorless, because the whole of the spy reporting staff, down to the merest scribe and office cat, is cringing at the mass of data to be embodied in the tourney report, but here IS the Crysalis spy report. AMELIA (28-3417) (20-3-1,64) of DODGE BULLETS fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON (106-5) (0-0-0,70) of the College of Mimes. AMELIA was overpowered by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute uneven bout. This is a very FORCEFUL Unemployed Person, as others have noted. DESPERADO (28-1152) (23-27-1,79) of DODGE BULLETS fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON (106- 5) (0-0-0,70) of the College of Mimes. DESPERADO was overpowered by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided fight. So forceful that he can fight twice in a row and win them both. MY SLEEP (47-5657) (16-8-1,57) of THINGS I DROOL IN fought LADY DOMINGA (28- 3702) (19-40-0,72) of FILIPINA LADYZ. MY SLEEP was overcome by LADY DOMINGA in an exciting 2 minute brutal fight. You know, I don't think I want to learn any more about this. ROXANNE DE'MORRE (50-3449) (27-23-0,83) of DRUID'S GROVE fought TWINK (5-4396) (20-9-2,87) of PAPER MARIO. ROXANNE DE'MORRE overpowered TWINK in an action packed 1 minute one-sided fight. Tiddly-wink that, eh? GERRICK GRIMM (50-3530) (16-16-0,64) of DRUID'S GROVE fought GHOST DANCER (28- 3365) (25-15-0,59) of DODGE BULLETS. GERRICK GRIMM overpowered GHOST DANCER in a 1 minute uneven competition. Not a good omen for one who would adventure. Tough luck, G. Dancer. LITTLE DEVIL (14-4359) (19-19-0,69) of PLAYPEN fought KARATIA (73-3624) (17-4- 1,56) of KIWI CONNECTION. LITTLE DEVIL was handily defeated by KARATIA in a 1 minute uneven bout. What trumps a little devil, hmm? Besides... oh, a mother, say. Tough negotiators, mothers. BILLY LILLY (28-3416) (26-13-1,92) of DODGE BULLETS fought VIOLET VULTURE (11- 6612) (22-4-0,86) of ANIMAL FARM. BILLY LILLY slimly lost to VIOLET VULTURE in an action packed 5 minute bout. And here I was told that William was a mighty hunter! How does that song go? "Big bad Bill is sweet William now?" LADY CONSOLACION (28-3703) (25-34-3,96) of FILIPINA LADYZ fought BLACK FLAG (82- 46046) (23-14-3,78) of TONGUE N CHEEK. LADY CONSOLACION was defeated by BLACK FLAG in an exciting 1 minute bout. Ouch. URG GUTSPILLER (59-2561) (26-15-1,137) of VILE REAVERS fought MOSGIEL (14-3836) (28-14-1,110) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS. URG GUTSPILLER was overpowered by MOSGIEL in a 1 minute uneven fight. Ah! And whose guts are on the sands now, Urg? HARI-KARI (73-3049) (16-5-0,135) of WAY TO GO! II fought YOUNG JOAN (28-3534) (28-20-1,105) of DODGE BULLETS. HARI-KARI demolished YOUNG JOAN in an action packed 1 minute one-sided fight. Hard times, very hard times, Young. Maybe it was a mistake to fight on the Isle while also attempting to sustain an adventure? BLUE BLOOD (73-3657) (20-10-1,127) of BLACK & BLUE fought SIPPYCUP SAM (14-4280) (21-17-3,102) of PLAYPEN. BLUE BLOOD vanquished SIPPYCUP SAM in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray. Doesn't look like we'll ever get a glimpse of that cerulean blood. TAOS (26-4042) (22-12-1,176) of HERE TO PHOENIX fought AGLIBOL (12-5848) (39-35- 1,179) of DARKMOON. TAOS viciously subdued AGLIBOL in a popular 2 minute gruesome match. Probably through the use of Taos Lightning. Potent stuff, that. I can almost remember my introduction to it. WEINERMUN (37-2635) (57-55-3,173) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN fought LOOGIE CLAP (82- 46049) (24-14-2,101) of TONGUE N CHEEK. WEINERMUN devastated LOOGIE CLAP in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest. That is one tough dog! PAT (35-2292) (45-46-2,204) of COMMON JOE'S fought BRIARTHORN (12-5671) (42-40- 2,177) of DARKMOON. PAT savagely defeated BRIARTHORN in a popular 3 minute bloody match. And a mess it was indeed to clean up after. BOARISH YELTSIN (5-3109) (68-43-2,373) of PARTY ANIMALS fought AVONSIDE (13- 3927) (35-44-1,207) of KIWI CONNECTION. BOARISH YELTSIN overpowered AVONSIDE in a 1 minute one-sided match. The problem was telling when the fight ended and when the party began. JACK VALTRAEDS (47-407) (109-68-2,226) of ROYAL FLUSH fought THE WHEAT KING (58- 5407) (75-60-2,193) of AUTUMN LIGHTNING. JACK VALTRAEDS was viciously subdued by THE WHEAT KING in a 16 minute brawl. Our longest fight, and a free drink to each participant. We have to remember that this is a SLOW arena and slow down on the sands. DISCO QUEEN (47-1992) (47-24-1,224) of ROYAL FLUSH fought UNCERTAIN OMELET (47- 3786) (22-11-0,209) of MYSTIC ORC FEAST. DISCO QUEEN won victory over UNCERTAIN OMELET in an exciting 2 minute fray. Did she blind the omelet with the flashing lights, or eat it? Inquiring minds may possibly wonder. NEWT GINGRICH (5-3399) (86-28-0,237) of PARTY ANIMALS fought TOADKILLER DOG (47- 1103) (35-17-1,199) of WASTED SCUM. NEWT GINGRICH was narrowly defeated by TOADKILLER DOG in a popular 3 minute duel. This is, don't forget, the Mutt Voted Prettiest. I'm not seeing it. GRINNON BEARIT (47-2955) (46-31-4,216) of THE BEAR'S PAW fought PAUL (35-2349) (39-40-2,207) of COMMON JOE'S. GRINNON BEARIT demolished PAUL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided brawl. So long as Grinnon isn't using this to start a fast food "joint" featuring "Sloppy Joes," I think we're okay. DUTCH TREAT (26-1841) (102-36-2,231) of WORLDWIDE GORE fought BEAR ACUDA (47- 4995) (31-24-1,203) of THE BEAR'S PAW. DUTCH TREAT bested BEAR ACUDA in a 2 minute battle. The key here, the one the bookies worked with (point spread, you know, that's what people bet on in some of these matches), is that no one at the Commission called this a "mismatch" or "one-sided." This speaks well of Ms. Acuda. CRUMBSNATCHER (72-1842) (52-32-1,233) of ONE GOOD DUDE fought MORTICIAN (2-3890) (79-20-1,243) of DARK TOADS. CRUMBSNATCHER was narrowly defeated by MORTICIAN in a crowd pleasing 7 minute match. Snatched like a crumb himself! Ah! There's something to be said for brevity, I see, becasue here we are at the challenge matches already. Good. GENERAL PUBLIC (31-3112) (21-20-1,139) of MILITARY MAYHEM challenged BEARNICE (47-2847) (30-39-7,151) of THE BEAR'S PAW. Up 12. GENERAL PUBLIC was overpowered by BEARNICE in a 2 minute uneven Challenge match. No surprise here, the General Public is always getting the worst of it. HORAGALLES (31-5212) (21-18-2,117) of SOL INVICTUS challenged ADAM'S APPLE (52- 3203) (25-12-0,138) of OTTO'S PARTS. Up 21. HORAGALLES was vanquished by ADAM'S APPLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. This is amazing, and it contradicts all expectation. After all, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and yet I distinctly saw a doctor hovering over Horagalles after the fight. BALCLUTHA (14-3169) (34-43-1,210) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS challenged RANDOM MATCHUP (96-1048) (35-15-4,233) of OVERRATED. Up 13. BALCLUTHA viciously subdued RANDOM MATCHUP in an action packed 2 minute Challenge duel. Appropriate. DUNEDIN (14-3703) (32-50-0,191) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS challenged HUNGRY BONES (31-4720) (24-14-1,184) of UNFIT TO BE ORCS. Down 7. DUNEDIN viciously subdued HUNGRY BONES in an action packed 3 minute Challenge fight. Ah. Stone soup, I presume. WHACKING WILLOW (52-3167) (42-13-1,201) of FLOWER GIRLS challenged BALDER (28- 3778) (30-25-3,204) of VALHALLA. Up 3. WHACKING WILLOW luckily beat BALDER in an exciting 4 minute bloody Challenge struggle. Luck? Don't think so. I saw a lot of skill and precision there. KING FORADAY (47-3762) (56-51-4,194) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged FIVE GOLDEN RINGS (16-4331) (38-7-0,196) of GOLDEN GLADIATORS. Up 2. KING FORADAY overpowered FIVE GOLDEN RINGS in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge match. And now the king has rings on his fingers, though I can't tell about his toes. DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (76-44-3,191) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged WHEEL OF FORTUNE (25-2529) (50-48-2,201) of DUELING FOR DOLLARS. Up 10. DAIRY QUEEN unbelievably bested WHEEL OF FORTUNE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl. "Unbelievable"? What is there to doubt? BRAND (82-13289) (46-31-1,249) of TOADS OF AMBER III challenged MAD CAT (7-2965) (58-37-6,249) of INSP GADGETS MINIONS. Straight across. BRAND vanquished MAD CAT in an exciting 1 minute gory uneven Challenge battle. Brand... did I see some note about Brand somewhere? Ah, yes, most challenged. Odd, but these things happen. And for the title: FOUNTAIN TROLL (73-643) (86-26-2,401) of D.A. REJECTS challenged STIGMA OF STUPID (31-4948) (36-17-1,241) of UNFIT TO BE ORCS. Down 160 from the throne. FOUNTAIN TROLL bested STIGMA OF STUPID in a 1 minute Challenge Title fight. Clearly, F. Troll is not one to bear the stigma of stupidity. Congratulations, and fare you well (nobody does, but we can offer our best wishes) in Primus. Ketchum THE TOWER GUARDIAN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY FOUNTAIN TROLL 73-643 87 26 2 417 D.A. REJECTS (352) ERINIKA GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BOARISH YELTSIN 5-3109 69 43 2 383 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS BRAND 82-13289 47 31 1 273 TOADS OF AMBER III (1180) DWES EG MORTICIAN 2-3890 80 20 1 261 DARK TOADS (1185) NIANIA -FIGHTER ACE 47-1189 71 47 6 247 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK DUTCH TREAT 26-1841 103 36 2 241 WORLDWIDE GORE (35) CALEAM TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103 36 17 1 237 WASTED SCUM (1112) NORTH FORK DISCO QUEEN 47-1992 48 24 1 236 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK BALCLUTHA 14-3169 35 43 1 228 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808) TOBIR GRINNON BEARIT 47-2955 47 31 4 227 THE BEAR'S PAW (196) NORTH FORK THE WHEAT KING 58-5407 76 60 2 224 AUTUMN LIGHTNING (1172) DELARQ TOR KING FORADAY 47-3762 57 51 4 224 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CRUMBSNATCHER 72-1842 52 33 1 210 ONE GOOD DUDE (396) DRAGONHEAD WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167 43 13 1 210 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948 36 18 1 210 UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881) CHIMLEVTAL BEAR ACUDA 47-4995 31 25 1 210 THE BEAR'S PAW (196) NORTH FORK PAT 35-2292 46 46 2 207 COMMON JOE'S (509) MURSKA BALDER 28-3778 30 26 3 206 VALHALLA (1102) MORYA DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685 77 44 3 205 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK UNCERTAIN OMELET 47-3786 22 12 0 204 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (704) NORTH FORK NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399 86 29 0 202 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS DUNEDIN 14-3703 33 50 0 202 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808) TOBIR -DIAMOND 82--32277 13 2 0 202 DARK TOADS 05D (1184) DWES EG -KING UVDAHELL 47-1643 51 27 1 201 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529 50 49 2 201 DUELING FOR DOLLARS (558) LYRATILAN -SPATHA 31-4996 40 36 2 199 SOL INVICTUS (993) CHIMLEVTAL JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407 109 69 2 198 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK AVONSIDE 13-3927 35 45 1 197 KIWI CONNECTION (747) DULLENS RANDOM MATCHUP 96-1048 35 16 4 196 OVERRATED (1044) OLD VALAMANTIS -SOUL SCOURGE 59-2589 33 14 0 196 VILE REAVERS (1134) ILLIS MAD CAT 7-2965 58 38 6 195 INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR -ARTEMISIA 12-5096 47 49 0 195 DARKMOON (1169) RIZTAB PAUL 35-2349 39 41 2 194 COMMON JOE'S (509) MURSKA -BODDINGTON'S 21-5035 24 13 0 193 REAL BEER (859) SUNSET FIVE GOLDEN RINGS 16-4331 38 8 0 188 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (577) WILLAF TAOS 26-4042 23 12 1 188 HERE TO PHOENIX (871) CALEAM HUNGRY BONES 31-4720 24 15 1 182 UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881) CHIMLEVTAL GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BRIARTHORN 12-5671 42 41 2 179 DARKMOON (1169) RIZTAB -PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708 17 13 1 179 CRUEL PET NAMES (1117) ZENSU AGLIBOL 12-5848 39 36 1 178 DARKMOON (1169) RIZTAB WEINERMUN 37-2635 58 55 3 175 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (219) SIBIKHAS -WRETCHEDMISERY 33-7255 35 25 0 164 CHAOTICDISORDER (1170) NIATOLI ISLAND GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BEARNICE 47-2847 31 39 7 162 THE BEAR'S PAW (196) NORTH FORK GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -ZIT 8-4385 26 3 0 148 Z GLADIATORZ (1128) ARKERS -TINY TIM 60-6042 25 7 1 147 CRAZY CREEPS (363) ARADI ADAM'S APPLE 52-3203 26 12 0 145 OTTO'S PARTS (664) FRATSFA HARI-KARI 73-3049 17 5 0 142 WAY TO GO! II (1010) ERINIKA MOSGIEL 14-3836 29 14 1 141 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808) TOBIR BLUE BLOOD 73-3657 21 10 1 134 BLACK & BLUE (1090) ERINIKA GENERAL PUBLIC 31-3112 21 21 1 132 MILITARY MAYHEM (37) CHIMLEVTAL URG GUTSPILLER 59-2561 26 16 1 117 VILE REAVERS (1134) ILLIS HORAGALLES 31-5212 21 19 2 116 SOL INVICTUS (993) CHIMLEVTAL -MANI 31-5102 25 27 4 115 SOL INVICTUS (993) CHIMLEVTAL -DEMONICHELLION 33-7038 29 32 2 111 CHAOTICDISORDER (1170) NIATOLI ISLAND LOOGIE CLAP 82--19487 24 15 2 110 TONGUE N CHEEK (1203) DWES EG -SENATOR SEDALIA 30-4245 22 10 0 108 LENPROS (189) IAYE YOUNG JOAN 28-3534 28 21 1 106 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA -CUBA 26-3917 25 10 0 103 HERE TO PHOENIX (871) CALEAM SIPPYCUP SAM 14-4280 21 18 3 101 PLAYPEN (1146) TOBIR GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY ROXANNE DE'MORRE 50-3449 28 23 0 100 DRUID'S GROVE (1041) SNOWBOUND VIOLET VULTURE 11-6612 23 4 0 100 ANIMAL FARM (1095) ARUAK CITY -MAN'S BEST FRIEND 11-6694 29 10 1 98 BULLDOGS (174) ARUAK CITY BLACK FLAG 82--19490 24 14 3 93 TONGUE N CHEEK (1203) DWES EG -JIMMY CUSTER 4-6268 23 28 2 93 DOGS OF WAR (1227) JHELUM BILLY LILLY 28-3416 26 14 1 92 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY LADY CONSOLACION 28-3703 25 35 3 86 FILIPINA LADYZ (1147) MORYA -BLACK TIGER 21-1705 23 16 1 86 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET -DR. DREAM 21-1709 24 12 0 84 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET GERRICK GRIMM 50-3530 17 16 0 79 DRUID'S GROVE (1041) SNOWBOUND LADY DOMINGA 28-3702 20 40 0 78 FILIPINA LADYZ (1147) MORYA TWINK 5-4396 20 10 2 76 PAPER MARIO (1224) KALTOS -WOZZECK 47-5644 16 10 1 74 THE OPERA (1207) NORTH FORK KARATIA 73-3624 18 4 1 73 KIWI CONNECTION (1232) ERINIKA -EARL 46-3951 20 8 0 68 FANDILS (220) ARDIVENT -MAGENTA MAGGOT 11-6627 18 13 0 67 ANIMAL FARM (1095) ARUAK CITY DESPERADO 28-1152 23 28 1 64 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA MY SLEEP 47-5657 16 9 1 59 THINGS I DROOL IN (1233) NORTH FORK AMELIA 28-3417 20 4 1 56 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA LITTLE DEVIL 14-4359 19 20 0 56 PLAYPEN (1146) TOBIR GHOST DANCER 28-3365 25 16 0 50 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE Congrats again to The Fountain Troll, Chief Tower Guardian. -- The Consortium Elders Primus, Primus, Primus ....... sorry to see you go, Fountain Troll. NOT! And take all the CCs with you! And for your Master Crip, nope! No Mortician. No Brand. Just measly Eligibles. Nananananana. -- You know Who Epimondas -- All right! You were there again. I just love those MUGS! -- Twink Urg Gutspiller -- I like guts. (wink) And I had lots of fun. I did. -- Tiny Tim Crumbsnatcher -- Like Crip said, you are a good one. You surely know how to show a gal a good time. I DID love every minute of it, but next time let's go for a looooooooooooooong one! (snicker) -- Whacking Willow Aglibol -- It took all I had. -- Diamond Horagalles -- Not only doe you have a few little mars on your face from me, but your name sounds like it should also. What's with that? -- Zit Black Flag -- Ya missed me; ya missed me; now ya gotta kiss me! Pucker up! -- Violet Vulture (feeling really starved at the moment) Good luck in The Mailer. Let's bring home some TVs to Crysallis. -- All The Consortium Folk Crysalis -- Oooh, Look! The Slow Arana News is back! I wonder if DM83 can be added to those listings. -- Crip, mgr of all of Crip's Crap Yes, it should be in this time. Balclutha -- So, are we both off to Primus? -- Fountain Troll Random Matchup -- That result has earned me a temporary vacation. -- King Uvdahell Pat -- Didn't think I'd outlast you like that. I usually like to keep the tempo up on the dance floor. -- Disco Queen Uncertain Omelet -- With those knockdowns, I've had my eggs scrambled. -- King Foraday Balder -- I have no hair, only feathers, so how can you be Balder? -- Phillip the Bird Wretchedmisery -- You seem to be forcing me up the ranks faster than I would like. -- Taos Lady Consolacion -- Cuban ladies, si. Filipina Ladies, non. -- Cuba The Wheat King -- So, which MUG did you Royally piss off. -- Boarish Yeltsin #84723, also known as Kurmusht. Spatha -- Not the kindest matchup you've ever received, but they all get tougher up here. -- Newt Gingrich Wheel of Fortune -- Can I buy a W, or What? -- FIghter Ace Stigma of Stupid -- Wow! I have to say I'm impressed. -- Dairy Queen Weinermun -- Are you sure you are the same Weinermun that was fighting here before Mun took a temporary leave of absence -- Boddington's Bearnice -- Nice Comeback. But you won't be doing that to me much longer. -- Hari- Kari Loogie Clap -- Only 1 minute? Were you not feeling well. -- General Public All -- Depending on the state of our paperwork, which HAS been sent in, we either fought our last fight here four weeks ago or will be doing our last today. Since we came here in search of the Shallowship, which has departed for other harbors, we must do likewise. -- Epimonidas, Dogs of War P.S. I believer our replacements will be from Dodge Bullets of Morya. They may be a bit distracted, what with being in the early stage of (shudder) an adventure. P.P.S. I would presume it's running in the Morya newsletter, if anyone wants to track it down. Blue Blood -- Darn. I was trying to spill some of yours, to see if it really is blue, and I just couldn't. Drat. -- Jimmy Custer P.S. I wanted to say "damn," but Jorja won't let me. Too prim. I tell her I'm a man of war, or at least a dog of war, and I would speak without euphemisms, but does she listen? Heck, no! Mosgiel -- You're no gentleman! Besides, I never did trust blond men. -- Lysistrata P.S. I'm not sure I'd want a beautiful relationship with a blond. But I might be interested in a vulgar, earthy one. Sippycup Sam -- (sigh) I'll be glad to return to retirement. -- Pericles Little Devil -- (twirling his mustache) Quite a one, aren't you? It would be my pleasure to take you to dinner. -- Sherman Twink -- I've heard a lot about you, and none of it good. -- Epimonidas 23 October 2007 ****************************************** ****************************************** ***** ******* ***** STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE 3 ******* ***** ******* ****************************************** ****************************************** 9 TEAM (18 MANAGERS) have declared for the STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE 3!!! There is still time for you to join in on the competition. The carnage begins TURN 263!!!! ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO JOIN: *Find a Partner *Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn of the contest. You may also email or diplo Master Darque. *Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up Certificate. Only certificates will be accepted for entry. All certificates submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes. *RU certificates must be received on or before the first turn of the contest which is Stormcrowe Turn 263 (running approximately December 4, 2007). RULES and SCORING Rules and Scoring information for the Slaughterhouse will be posted every turn in the Stormcrowe newsletter beginning with Turn 260 and in a final all arena ad in November. PRIZES ENDURANCE AWARD: One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes in 60 of the 65 contest fights. KILL MASTER AWARD: The individual manager with the most kills will receive a Limited Immortality Potion. This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior. He/she will be resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2. TOP TEAM AWARD: Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance: *One (1) +1 Bonus Potion *Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior *Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates Special note from RSI on prizes: All contest prizes must be used within three months. All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating contest team in DM 45. The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time, after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears. NEED MORE INFORMATION Rules questions and clarifications may be directed to Master Darque the contest coordinator. He may be reached by email at rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com or by diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428). 3 November 2007 If you need to send an email to RSI, please send it to CSR (at) reality.com. Using any other address makes it all but impossible that you'll receive a response. -- RSI LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS FOUNTAIN TROLL bested STIGMA OF STUPID in a 1 minute Challenge Title fight. BRAND vanquished MAD CAT in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven Challenge battle. DAIRY QUEEN unbelievably bested WHEEL OF FORTUNE in a 2 minute Challenge brawl. KING FORADAY overpowered FIVE GOLDEN RINGS in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge match. WHACKING WILLOW luckily beat BALDER in a exciting 4 minute bloody Challenge struggle. DUNEDIN viciously subdued HUNGRY BONES in a action packed 3 minute Challenge fight. BALCLUTHA viciously subdued RANDOM MATCHUP in a action packed 2 minute Challenge duel. HORAGALLES was vanquished by ADAM'S APPLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. GENERAL PUBLIC was overpowered by BEARNICE in a 2 minute uneven Challenge match. CRUMBSNATCHER was narrowly defeated by MORTICIAN in a crowd pleasing 7 minute match. DUTCH TREAT bested BEAR ACUDA in a 2 minute battle. GRINNON BEARIT demolished PAUL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided brawl. NEWT GINGRICH was narrowly defeated by TOADKILLER DOG in a popular 3 minute duel. DISCO QUEEN won victory over UNCERTAIN OMELET in a exciting 2 minute fray. JACK VALTRAEDS was viciously subdued by THE WHEAT KING in a 16 minute brawl. BOARISH YELTSIN overpowered AVONSIDE in a 1 minute one-sided match. PAT savagely defeated BRIARTHORN in a popular 3 minute bloody match. WEINERMUN devastated LOOGIE CLAP in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest. TAOS viciously subdued AGLIBOL in a popular 2 minute gruesome match. BLUE BLOOD vanquished SIPPYCUP SAM in a popular 1 minute mismatched fray. HARI-KARI demolished YOUNG JOAN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight. URG GUTSPILLER was overpowered by MOSGIEL in a 1 minute uneven fight. LADY CONSOLACION was defeated by BLACK FLAG in a exciting 1 minute bout. BILLY LILLY slimly lost to VIOLET VULTURE in a action packed 5 minute bout. LITTLE DEVIL was handily defeated by KARATIA in a 1 minute uneven bout. GERRICK GRIMM overpowered GHOST DANCER in a 1 minute uneven competition. ROXANNE DE'MORRE overpowered TWINK in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight. MY SLEEP was overcome by LADY DOMINGA in a exciting 2 minute brutal fight. DESPERADO was overpowered by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided fight. AMELIA was overpowered by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute uneven bout. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 12 TOTAL PARRY 72 - 42 - 0 63 | |TOTAL PARRY 10 STRIKING ATTACK 28 - 18 - 1 61 | |WALL OF STEEL 9 LUNGING ATTACK 92 - 72 - 1 56 | |AIMED BLOW 6 PARRY-RIPOSTE 21 - 19 - 2 53 | |SLASHING ATTACK 6 SLASHING ATTACK 38 - 37 - 1 51 | |BASHING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 32 - 36 - 0 47 | |PARRY-LUNGE 3 PARRY-STRIKE 6 - 7 - 0 46 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 WALL OF STEEL 42 - 60 - 1 41 | |STRIKING ATTACK 3 BASHING ATTACK 22 - 32 - 1 41 | |PARRY-STRIKE 2 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 23 - 0 36 | Turn 189 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: TOTAL PARRY 8 - 2 WALL OF STEEL 4 - 5 5 TOTAL PARRY LUNGING ATTACK 7 - 5 AIMED BLOW 2 - 4 4 LUNGING ATTACK PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 2 1 SLASHING ATTACK PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 1 PARRY-STRIKE SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 4 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 3 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME TOTAL PARRY FOUNTAIN TROLL 73-643 87 26 2 417 D.A. REJECTS (352) SLASHING ATTACK BOARISH YELTSIN 5-3109 69 43 2 383 PARTY ANIMALS (476) LUNGING ATTACK BRAND 82-13289 47 31 1 273 TOADS OF AMBER III (1180) PARRY-STRIKE DISCO QUEEN 47-1992 48 24 1 236 ROYAL FLUSH (10) BASHING ATTACK KING FORADAY 47-3762 57 51 4 224 ROYAL FLUSH (10) WALL OF STEEL CRUMBSNATCHER 72-1842 52 33 1 210 ONE GOOD DUDE (396) STRIKING ATTACK STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948 36 18 1 210 UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881) PARRY-LUNGE BEAR ACUDA 47-4995 31 25 1 210 THE BEAR'S PAW (196) AIMED BLOW UNCERTAIN OMELET 47-3786 22 12 0 204 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (704) PARRY-RIPOSTE JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407 109 69 2 198 ROYAL FLUSH (10) The overall popularity leader is JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407. The most popular warrior this turn was JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407. The ten other most popular fighters were CRUMBSNATCHER 72-1842, DUNEDIN 14-3703, BALDER 28-3778, BALCLUTHA 14-3169, PAT 35-2292, MORTICIAN 2-3890, WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529, KING FORADAY 47-3762, TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103, and BEARNICE 47-2847. The least popular fighter this week was AMELIA 28-3417. The other ten least popular fighters were DESPERADO 28-1152, GHOST DANCER 28-3365, LITTLE DEVIL 14-4359, URG GUTSPILLER 59-2561, YOUNG JOAN 28-3534, AVONSIDE 13-3927, TWINK 5-4396, SIPPYCUP SAM 14-4280, LOOGIE CLAP 82--19487, and PAUL 35-2349. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K NIANIA(2) 1 0 0 LYRATILAN(25) 0 1 0 FRATSFA(52) 2 0 0 KALTOS(5) 1 2 0 CALEAM(26) 2 0 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 0 0 BONSUR(7) 0 1 0 MORYA(28) 1 7 0 ILLIS(59) 0 1 0 ARUAK CITY(11) 1 0 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 0 4 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 0 1 0 RIZTAB(12) 0 2 0 MURSKA(35) 1 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 4 0 0 DULLENS(13) 0 1 0 SIBIKHAS(37) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 2 1 0 TOBIR(14) 3 2 0 NORTH FORK(47) 6 4 0 OLD VALAMANTIS(96) 0 1 0 WILLAF(16) 0 1 0 SNOWBOUND(50) 2 0 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY MORTICIAN 2-3890 80 20 1 261 DARK TOADS (1185) NIANIA TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BOARISH YELTSIN 5-3109 69 43 2 383 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS MAD CAT 7-2965 58 38 6 195 INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR VIOLET VULTURE 11-6612 23 4 0 100 ANIMAL FARM (1095) ARUAK CITY BRIARTHORN 12-5671 42 41 2 179 DARKMOON (1169) RIZTAB AVONSIDE 13-3927 35 45 1 197 KIWI CONNECTION (747) DULLENS BALCLUTHA 14-3169 35 43 1 228 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808) TOBIR FIVE GOLDEN RINGS 16-4331 38 8 0 188 GOLDEN GLADIATORS (577) WILLAF WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529 50 49 2 201 DUELING FOR DOLLARS (558) LYRATILAN DUTCH TREAT 26-1841 103 36 2 241 WORLDWIDE GORE (35) CALEAM BALDER 28-3778 30 26 3 206 VALHALLA (1102) MORYA STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948 36 18 1 210 UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881) CHIMLEVTAL PAT 35-2292 46 46 2 207 COMMON JOE'S (509) MURSKA WEINERMUN 37-2635 58 55 3 175 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (219) SIBIKHAS TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103 36 17 1 237 WASTED SCUM (1112) NORTH FORK ROXANNE DE'MORRE 50-3449 28 23 0 100 DRUID'S GROVE (1041) SNOWBOUND WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167 43 13 1 210 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA THE WHEAT KING 58-5407 76 60 2 224 AUTUMN LIGHTNING (1172) DELARQ TOR URG GUTSPILLER 59-2561 26 16 1 117 VILE REAVERS (1134) ILLIS CRUMBSNATCHER 72-1842 52 33 1 210 ONE GOOD DUDE (396) DRAGONHEAD FOUNTAIN TROLL 73-643 87 26 2 417 D.A. REJECTS (352) ERINIKA BRAND 82-13289 47 31 1 273 TOADS OF AMBER III (1180) DWES EG RANDOM MATCHUP 96-1048 35 16 4 196 OVERRATED (1044) OLD VALAMANTIS