AD Date : 09/09/2008 Duedate: 10/06/2008 CRYSALIS DM-106 TURN-200 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 SENTINELS 7/1202 5 2 0 71.4 4 SUPERIOR FOR 71/1236 17 11 0 60.7 NOMADIC TRIBE 21/1219 5 COMMON JOE'S 35/509 537 566 5 48.7 2 REAL BEER 21/859 2013 993 28 67.0 BLACK & BLUE 73/1090 WAY TO GO! II 73/1010 BASKET WEAVING 101 60/225 ITALIAN FOOTBALL 17/826 INSP GADGETS MINIONS 7/214 CONSORTIUM CRAP 11/1248 ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/219 USELESS TOOLS 57/1249 BLOOD 4 THE MASSES 68/1239 D.A. REJECTS 44/38 DUELING FOR DOLLARS 25/558 WORLDWIDE GORE 26/35 KIWI CONNECTION 13/747 PARTY ANIMALS 5/476 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/808 MILITARY MAYHEM 31/37 THE FAMILY TREE 20/717 ROYAL FLUSH 47/10 6 BLOOD RITES 8/1253 16 18 0 47.1 USELESS TOOLS 54/552 TONGUE N CHEEK 82/1203 3 LENPROS 30/189 276 142 0 66.0 7 JANIX 54/1223 122 156 4 43.9 DARK TOADS 04W 82/1242 THE BEAR'S PAW 47/196 Z GLADIATORZ 8/1128 VALHALLA 28/1102 DARK TOADS 2/1185 8 DRUID'S GROV 50/1041 19 29 2 39.6 ANIMAL FARM 11/1095 9 DODGE BULLETS 28/867 392 700 4 35.9 GLOOM AND DOOM 4/1151 10 X-MEN 34/3 19 36 0 34.5 CRAZY CREEPS 60/363 DOGS OF WAR 71/418 FLOWER GIRLS 52/265 PHANTACITY 28/1252 MAGIC ARTISTS 78/1218 BIG BAD BRAWLERS 71/459 CHEAP SHOTS 39/1160 11-FILIPINA LAD 28/1147 10 28 2 26.3 '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id '-' Team did not fight this turn WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT Mortician, Holder Of The Helm, has deferred writing his DM Column. I, the lowly Consortium Scribe, have been designated to work overtime to write something for him. (Do you think they pay time and a half for OT?) So here goes. Here are The Consortium's last 10 graduates. (Do you think they will fire me for giving out this info? Well, they shouldn't have assigned it to me and shoulda paid time and a half!) 13(+1)-10-9-17-15-10-11 SL VH/LO Broadsword (16-6-0) 14(+2)-18(+3)-16-7(+2)-21(+1)-6-11(+1) TP LO/Lo Quarterstaff (40-11-0) 13(+2)-19(+2)-15-13(+1)-21(+3)-4(+1)-11(+3) TP LO/VL Longsword (29-8-0) 17-14(+1)-14-17-10-6-7 BA HI/LO Medium Shield (17-11-1) 9(+1)-3-20-15-17-10-11 ST VL/MD Fist (15-12-1) 11(+1)-11(+1)-12-16(+1)-18(+1)-10-11(+1) LU HI/VH Epee (21-16-0) 11(+2)-15(+2)-8-15-21-7-11 WS VH/VL Quarterstaff (23-5-0) 18-5-10-15-9-16-11 BA HI/LO War Flail (17-5-2) 10(+1)-3-21-17-9-14-11 ST MD/VL Greatsword (14-9-0) 11(+1)-11(+2)-9-17-17-5-17 PR MD/MD Epee (16-4-0) 9(+1)-9-10-17-9-10-21 AB MD/MD Short Spear (14-6-0) What the heck! I added an eleventh. I didn't like this job anyhow. Use the info as you see fit. The Consortium Scribe (resume available upon request) * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 299): MISS TOOK of LADIES IN WAITING (Crip, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 297): VORTEX of FLYING MONKEYS (?, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 295): EXECUTIONER of RETRIBUTION (Lord of Retribution, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 250): DUCK A L'ORANGE of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 272): TUNDRA of ARCTIC WASTES (Wretch, mgr.) DM 47 DOUBLE X (turn 266): THE RON of WARHAMMERS (Coyote, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 253): ON MY WAY of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 247): LEO of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 237): BLACKHAWKZ of RAPTORZ (Owlin the Wise, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 225): KONA QUAIL of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 201): BENITO CHATTE of THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 201): PORKY PIG of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 202): SKIN PEELER of BLACKMAIL (The Mun, mgr.) Top Teams --------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 299): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 297): EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 295): WAR (?, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 250): WACKY (The Zoo Keeper, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 272): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.) DM 47 DOUBLE X (turn 266): THE BEAR'S PAW (Kat, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 253): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 247): ZERO (?, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 237): RAPTORZ (Owlin the Wise, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 225): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 201): POSITION IS EMPTY DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 201): MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 202): MONGOL HORDE (?, mgr.) Recent Graduates ---------------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 298): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 297): TROOPER TED of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.) (turn 296): XANAX of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 249): HOT AIR DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.) DM 47 DOUBLE X (turn 265): BARBARINO of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.) JACK & JILL of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.) RHIANNON of GAELIC STORM (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 252): TRASH CAN of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 236): MOUSETRAP of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 201): BENITO CHATTE of THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.) REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER And here we are again, at the end of the summer, more or less, and with a respectable showing. Oh, yes, compare us to, for example, Home Guard, and we're amazing. Thirty fights, okay, with five standbys, but Home guard had something like NINE fights with five standbys, so I don't figure we're in trouble here. Twelve challenges, none of them tv, but we can't have everything, I guess. Dueling for Dollars was most avoided. Does that mean most of you are doing it for the sheer enjoyment? Royal Flush was the official most-avoider. Balder got the most challenges. The Unknown Spymasters says "If challenges were votes, Balder would be president." Now there's a prospect to scare a man! A quick run through the fights themselves: UNHOLY TERROR (8-5051) (15-8-3,54) of BLOOD RITES fought BAERRA (7-1048) (27-9- 0,90) of SENTINELS. UNHOLY TERROR was unbelievably bested by BAERRA in a 2 minute brutal battle. A lot of times, the stewards describe a victory as "unbelievable" and you can't figure out why. Setting aside the old "seeing is believing," my guess is that Bearra dropped the ball in the first minute and only managed to scramble it back in the second. Comments, Bearra? YOUNG JOAN (28-3534) (28-31-1,80) of DODGE BULLETS fought SRAN3E (28-4382) (16- 9-0,62) of PHANTACITY. YOUNG JOAN handily defeated SRAN3E in an action packed 4 minute gory mismatched match. A home-town match, I see. As for "handily," is this the extra experience? AIKEN (71-3933) (8-5-0,38) of SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 fought GHOST DANCER (28-3365) (30-21-0,63) of DODGE BULLETS. AIKEN overpowered GHOST DANCER in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout. Popular. Huh, because it was short and ugly? NECROMANCER (78-2520) (19-3-1,85) of MAGIC ARTISTS fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON (106-5) (0-0-0,70) of the College of Mimes. NECROMANCER overpowered UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. Let's hope this is a good omen for Necromancer, eh? ZIGGY WOLFSBANE (21-6432) (21-12-0,75) of NOMADIC TRIBE fought ROXANNE DE'MORRE (50-3449) (33-28-0,72) of DRUID'S GROVE. ZIGGY WOLFSBANE savagely defeated ROXANNE DE'MORRE in an action packed 7 minute fight. Seven minutes of savagery makes a mess of the arena, almost as bad as "bloody," "gory," or "gruesome." Keeps those sand- rakers on their toes (trying to keep their shoes clean). HUNTSMAN (7-5837) (18-4-0,90) of SENTINELS fought AMELIA (28-3417) (24-10-1,69) of DODGE BULLETS. HUNTSMAN beat AMELIA in an action packed 1 minute brutal competition. It takes a skilled and impatient gladiator to pack that much brutal action into one minute. Or maybe to brutally pack that much action into a minute. BILLY LILLY (28-3416) (27-23-1,103) of DODGE BULLETS fought DEVIL'S ADVOCATE (68-4666) (15-6-0,142) of BLOOD 4 THE MASSES. BILLY LILLY was viciously subdued by DEVIL'S ADVOCATE in a popular 2 minute fray. There's a note here in the margins of the, ah, cheat-sheet to the effect that those who support devils are always vicious. Is this true? Comments, anyone? BLACK FLAG (82-46046) (31-17-3,158) of TONGUE N CHEEK fought ABHORRENCE (4-5568) (18-8-2,128) of GLOOM AND DOOM. BLACK FLAG was overpowered by ABHORRENCE in an exciting 1 minute uneven match. I'm inclined to think the gladiators's names say it all here. HARI-KARI (73-3049) (26-5-0,181) of WAY TO GO! II fought CLOTTO (106-25) (0-0- 0,181) of the College of Mimes. HARI-KARI vanquished CLOTTO in an action packed 1 minute gory one-sided match. Gore everywhere. Clotto was upset about it, but as long as the person being upset is a mime, well, you don't have to look, right? WHEEL OF FORTUNE (25-2529) (53-56-2,210) of DUELING FOR DOLLARS fought SODIAC (7-1049) (28-17-2,181) of SENTINELS. WHEEL OF FORTUNE savagely defeated SODIAC in a popular 2 minute gory match. Ah, no! I hate looking at traffic accidents. It's a phobia. Somehow the gore seems worse than what you get in a fight. RUBBER KNIFE (57-2546) (24-6-1,200) of USELESS TOOLS fought BLUE BLOOD (73-3657) (24-13-1,176) of BLACK & BLUE. RUBBER KNIFE was handily defeated by BLUE BLOOD in a 2 minute uneven duel. Never bring a rubber sword into a fight. Not a serious fight, anyway. JACK VALTRAEDS (47-407) (116-71-2,237) of ROYAL FLUSH fought RIRORNI COOK (106- 24) (0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes. JACK VALTRAEDS savagely defeated RIRORNI COOK in an exciting 1 minute gory duel. And if anyone finds dinner in the arena cafeteria not to his or her taste, you know who to blame. KING UVDAHELL (47-1643) (56-30-1,220) of ROYAL FLUSH fought THE BLACKSMITH (106- 22) (0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes. KING UVDAHELL overpowered THE BLACKSMITH in a 1 minute mismatched conflict. You know, I really don't see the point in mismatching with standbys. There are standbys available at all ranks, so why not pick someone appropriate? I'm not getting this. DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (82-47-3,217) of ROYAL FLUSH fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106- 30) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes. DAIRY QUEEN savagely defeated VERMICIOUS KNID in an exciting 3 minute brutal bout. Now, that is an attack form you don't see very often: soft-serve ice cream shoved into the ears. It certainly excited the Knid; we had to scrape him off the walls. NEWT GINGRICH (5-3399) (91-32-0,214) of PARTY ANIMALS fought MAD CAT (7-2965) (59-41-6,209) of INSP GADGETS MINIONS. NEWT GINGRICH viciously subdued MAD CAT in a popular 2 minute brutal brawl. Who would have thought Newt was an ailurophobe? But nothing else would explain that frenzy and revulsion. DUTCH TREAT (26-1841) (111-37-2,213) of WORLDWIDE GORE fought AVONSIDE (13-3927) (38-52-1,197) of KIWI CONNECTION. DUTCH TREAT vanquished AVONSIDE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. I had a Dutch treat once, it was a tulip dipped in chocolate. Very... unusual. GROLSCH (21-5029) (54-10-4,259) of REAL BEER fought BEAR ACUDA (47-4995) (34-32- 1,209) of THE BEAR'S PAW. GROLSCH defeated BEAR ACUDA in a popular 5 minute bloody duel. But you'll note that this is not characterized as a "mis-match," despite the differences in ranking, which means that Bear Acuda put up one heck of a fight. Good work, even losing. PRIMUS (21-4975) (59-16-0,267) of REAL BEER fought WEINERMUN (37-2635) (62-61- 3,210) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN. PRIMUS bested WEINERMUN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody bout. Well, of course the crowd was pleased! Beer and hotdogs are practically something or other. Like ham and eggs. Here ends the random matches, and the challenges begin: TOTTI (17-5991) (17-9-2,76) of ITALIAN FOOTBALL challenged DESPERADO (28-1152) (29-32-1,80) of DODGE BULLETS. Up 4. TOTTI devastated DESPERADO in a 1 minute one- sided Challenge battle. I can hardly wait to find whether Desperado went desperate during this one. I bet he did. I've been told he hates being kicked around. GLUM (54-2766) (18-8-1,90) of JANIX challenged MIKE TYSON (71-360) (22-9-1,84) of BIG BAD BRAWLERS. Down 6. GLUM was luckily beaten by MIKE TYSON in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match. How do you tell the difference between luck and skill? I've wondered about that from time to time. Did Glum trip over a lost initiative, giving Mike an unexpected opening, or what? SERB SMASHER (71-1393) (19-11-2,100) of DOGS OF WAR challenged FRED BEAR (47- 5348) (26-16-0,122) of THE BEAR'S PAW. Up 22. SERB SMASHER overpowered FRED BEAR in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. I wouldn't have taken Fred for a serb, but what do I know, eh? Maybe he is. A secret serb. With garlic and oregano. PUPPY ON PATROL (71-1613) (20-14-0,124) of DOGS OF WAR challenged RUBBER KNIFE (54-2038) (51-40-1,180) of USELESS TOOLS. Up 56. PUPPY ON PATROL vanquished RUBBER KNIFE in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight. Now, here's fine puzzle for the crunchers: Puppy, lower-ranked and less experienced, beat Rubber in a one-sided fight. Is this making a comment about the Pup, the Knife, or a really bad style match? Or good, depending on which end you've got, of course. CAFFREY'S (21-4748) (20-3-3,150) of REAL BEER challenged ZIT (8-4385) (29-3- 0,175) of Z GLADIATORZ. Up 25. CAFFREY'S lost to ZIT in an action packed 3 minute Challenge fight. Too bad, Caffrey's, but it's only temporary. My mother always said to use soap, warm water, and a washcloth for this. And pour your next beer over Zit's head. XYCO (54-2899) (22-11-3,146) of JANIX challenged GERRICK GRIMM (50-3530) (20-23- 1,131) of DRUID'S GROVE. Down 13. XYCO viciously subdued GERRICK GRIMM in an action packed 1 minute Challenge melee. Are we to conclude that Xyco is anti-druid? This is not an unknown position. SAMURAI STRIKER (71-62) (20-20-1,131) of DOGS OF WAR challenged LAND OF FLUSH (11-4373) (17-13-0,160) of CONSORTIUM CRAP. Up 29. SAMURAI STRIKER was devastated by LAND OF FLUSH in a 1 minute Challenge competition. Given their respective rankings, this can hardly be a surprise. But perhaps the Striker learned many useful skills. CHUCK NORRIS (71-993) (18-10-1,150) of BIG BAD BRAWLERS challenged PRIVATE ROOM (31-3620) (25-13-0,175) of MILITARY MAYHEM. Up 25. CHUCK NORRIS was vanquished by PRIVATE ROOM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. So easily is a reputation tarnished! This may be a major disaster for Chuck, though the worst of it seems to have happened out of sight. Whence came the private enclosure to the arena sands? BALDER (28-3778) (32-33-3,180) of VALHALLA challenged DUNEDIN (14-3703) (33-54- 0,197) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS. Up 17. This is Balder the Most Challenged, making his own choices. BALDER was savagely defeated by DUNEDIN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match. And not, perhaps, the wisest possible choices. But then who can claim to be wise at all times? Not even the greatest sages. RAVISHING REDBUD (52-3197) (38-14-0,199) of FLOWER GIRLS challenged PAT (35- 2292) (47-49-2,207) of COMMON JOE'S. Up 8. RAVISHING REDBUD unbelievably bested PAT in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge brawl. "Unbelievable," pah. I not only believed, I was expecting it and did very well out of this. Allow me to buy you dinner, Ravishing Redbud! BOARISH YELTSIN (5-3109) (74-47-2,212) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged BLOODBATH (60-704) (70-59-2,255) of BASKET WEAVING 101. Up 43. BOARISH YELTSIN savagely defeated BLOODBATH in an exciting 2 minute Challenge melee. AND the Boarish one unwove all the baskets. For the title: Oh, gods, the Unknown Spymaster has, quite by accident, I'm sure, picked up on true detail: to wit, the Venomous Porcupine's "unsubtle" advances. Does he know these from personal experiment? One cannot but wonder. However, the fight-- MORTICIAN (2-3890) (86-20-1,352) of DARK TOADS challenged VENEMOUS PORCUPINE (44-288) (89-62-1,308) of D.A. REJECTS. Down 44. MORTICIAN viciously subdued VENEMOUS PORCUPINE in a 19 minute Challenge Title fight. I believe this to be our longest fight, and I find myself wondering what they were doing down there in all those clinches. Congratulations, regardless. Ketchum THE TOWER GUARDIAN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY MORTICIAN 2-3890 87 20 1 374 DARK TOADS (1185) NIANIA GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY PRIMUS 21-4975 60 16 0 276 REAL BEER (859) SUNSET GROLSCH 21-5029 55 10 4 268 REAL BEER (859) SUNSET JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407 117 71 2 239 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399 92 32 0 231 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS BOARISH YELTSIN 5-3109 75 47 2 226 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS KING UVDAHELL 47-1643 57 30 1 226 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685 83 47 3 225 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK DUTCH TREAT 26-1841 112 37 2 222 WORLDWIDE GORE (35) CALEAM WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529 54 56 2 219 DUELING FOR DOLLARS (558) LYRATILAN GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY VENEMOUS PORCUPINE 44-288 89 63 1 210 D.A. REJECTS (38) KRILL MAD CAT 7-2965 59 42 6 210 INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR BLUE BLOOD 73-3657 25 13 1 210 BLACK & BLUE (1090) ERINIKA WEINERMUN 37-2635 62 62 3 209 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (219) SIBIKHAS BEAR ACUDA 47-4995 34 33 1 209 THE BEAR'S PAW (196) NORTH FORK AVONSIDE 13-3927 38 53 1 207 KIWI CONNECTION (747) DULLENS RAVISHING REDBUD 52-3197 39 14 0 206 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA -TINY TIM 60-6042 29 8 1 206 CRAZY CREEPS (363) ARADI BLOODBATH 60-704 70 60 2 203 BASKET WEAVING 101 (225) ARADI PAT 35-2292 47 50 2 203 COMMON JOE'S (509) MURSKA DUNEDIN 14-3703 34 54 0 201 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808) TOBIR -WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167 44 14 1 197 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA HARI-KARI 73-3049 27 5 0 194 WAY TO GO! II (1010) ERINIKA -BLOODY SKIN 20-1986 39 38 1 187 THE FAMILY TREE (717) SEAM ZIT 8-4385 30 3 0 184 Z GLADIATORZ (1128) ARKERS PRIVATE ROOM 31-3620 26 13 0 184 MILITARY MAYHEM (37) CHIMLEVTAL GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -VIOLET VULTURE 11-6612 26 5 0 183 ANIMAL FARM (1095) ARUAK CITY SODIAC 7-1049 28 18 2 182 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546 24 7 1 181 USELESS TOOLS (1249) ANDOR GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BALDER 28-3778 32 34 3 180 VALHALLA (1102) MORYA PUPPY ON PATROL 71-1613 21 14 0 169 DOGS OF WAR (418) KYR'TERR LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373 18 13 0 164 CONSORTIUM CRAP (1248) ARUAK CITY ABHORRENCE 4-5568 19 8 2 161 GLOOM AND DOOM (1151) JHELUM GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY CAFFREY'S 21-4748 20 4 3 150 REAL BEER (859) SUNSET CHUCK NORRIS 71-993 18 11 1 150 BIG BAD BRAWLERS (459) KYR'TERR XYCO 54-2899 23 11 3 148 JANIX (1223) TROCAR -WYVERN 82-29373 16 5 0 147 DARK TOADS 04W (1242) DWES EG RUBBER KNIFE 54-2038 51 41 1 144 USELESS TOOLS (552) TROCAR DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 68-4666 16 6 0 144 BLOOD 4 THE MASSES (1239) FIREHOLD BLACK FLAG 82--19490 31 18 3 136 TONGUE N CHEEK (1203) DWES EG GERRICK GRIMM 50-3530 20 24 1 133 DRUID'S GROVE (1041) SNOWBOUND SAMURAI STRIKER 71-62 20 21 1 129 DOGS OF WAR (418) KYR'TERR SERB SMASHER 71-1393 20 11 2 127 DOGS OF WAR (418) KYR'TERR BILLY LILLY 28-3416 27 24 1 111 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA FRED BEAR 47-5348 26 17 0 103 THE BEAR'S PAW (196) NORTH FORK GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -LADY ELMA 28-4244 20 23 2 100 FILIPINA LADYZ (1147) MORYA MIKE TYSON 71-360 23 9 1 98 BIG BAD BRAWLERS (459) KYR'TERR HUNTSMAN 7-5837 19 4 0 98 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR -ERASMUS 7-5843 25 21 0 96 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR YOUNG JOAN 28-3534 29 31 1 92 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA BAERRA 7-1048 28 9 0 92 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR NECROMANCER 78-2520 20 3 1 92 MAGIC ARTISTS (1218) LIN TIRIAN GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY GLUM 54-2766 18 9 1 89 JANIX (1223) TROCAR -HARDRADA 81-353 25 13 0 88 DRAGONBANE GUILD (1240) SHADOWSPIRE TOTTI 17-5991 18 9 2 88 ITALIAN FOOTBALL (826) ALJAFIR -DON FRANCIS 30-4619 17 8 0 88 LENPROS (189) IAYE ZIGGY WOLFSBANE 21-6432 22 12 0 85 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET ROXANNE DE'MORRE 50-3449 33 29 0 74 DRUID'S GROVE (1041) SNOWBOUND AMELIA 28-3417 24 11 1 73 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA DESPERADO 28-1152 29 33 1 70 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA AIKEN 71-3933 9 5 0 67 SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 (1236) KYR'TERR -MIKE MILLER 46-4006 18 12 0 66 FANDILS (220) ARDIVENT UNHOLY TERROR 8-5051 15 9 3 64 BLOOD RITES (1253) ARKERS -STEWART 14-4213 15 10 3 58 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808) TOBIR SRAN3E 28-4382 16 10 0 57 PHANTACITY (1252) MORYA -BLACK EYE 11-6946 16 6 0 54 COLORIFIC (1050) ARUAK CITY -SMIRK 39-3606 27 10 0 49 CHEAP SHOTS (1160) XOCHITHLAN -MAGNETO 34-1665 15 20 0 47 X-MEN (3) MONUNTIAL GHOST DANCER 28-3365 30 22 0 41 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE SRAN3E -- Never get in the way of The Family. -- Don Francis Wheel Of Fortune -- I wouldn't say this to most, but "whew!" -- Mortician Ghost Dancer -- Some how somebody had to win. I was the lucky one. -- Necroma The Necromancer Bloodbath -- I am SORRY! I did THAT? I don't believe it! Not only do I not downchallenge, but by 62 points?! I need to be spanked. Wanna do it to me? (wink) -- Ravishing Redbud P.S. I really did not mean to do that. I must have erred somehow. P.P.S. It is only fitting that you came out on top. Did you like it? (giggle) Desperado -- Now that wasn't funny at all! -- Smirk Newt Gingrich -- And to think I would have voted for you? -- Tiny Tim (feelings hurt) Boarish -- You clipped my wings, you worthless autocrat! You just wait! -- Violet Vulture Fred Bear -- 'Tis better to be a flying beauty than merely a big old ugly carnivore! -- Wyvern Devil's Advocate -- Perhaps you should have sent the real thing? -- Zit Young Joan -- No more. I will try to be nice. -- Wyvern Welcome all you newbies to Crysalis. We are glad to see you here. -- The Consortium Smirk -- Hard to keep that up with a split lip, isn't it? And I enjoyed splitting your lip. I would've done more, but that damned busybody of an arenamaster stepped in. Where does that dummy get off, huh? Or I could drown you in my bathtub, except it would pollute the water. Huh, let me think about some options here. -- Desperado Necromancer -- You may be making your luck, lady, but you're surely pushing mine! There I am, standing in the wings waiting in case I'm called into the adventure, and along comes someone who should be an ally and creams me! Ouch. I shudder to think what the Author will do with this! -- Ghost Dancer Gerrick Grimm -- There are times when a smile would be a good thing. But it would have to crack that mask of a face you've got, wouldn't it? -- Billy Lilly Lady Elma -- I find it easier to attack men than women, especially those who are clearly ladies through and through. This is going to be a handicap, isn't it? -- Young Joan, with visions of who-knows-what looming ahead Mike Tyson -- About what one would expect of a Big Bad Brawler. -- Amelia Ketchum -- But only ONE beer! -- Desperado, not reckless with his money Stingy. LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS MORTICIAN viciously subdued VENEMOUS PORCUPINE in a 19 minute Challenge Title fight. BOARISH YELTSIN savagely defeated BLOODBATH in a exciting 2 minute Challenge melee. RAVISHING REDBUD unbelievably bested PAT in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge brawl. BALDER was savagely defeated by DUNEDIN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match. CHUCK NORRIS was vanquished by PRIVATE ROOM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. SAMURAI STRIKER was devastated by LAND OF FLUSH in a 1 minute Challenge competition. XYCO viciously subdued GERRICK GRIMM in a action packed 1 minute Challenge melee. CAFFREY'S lost to ZIT in a action packed 3 minute Challenge fight. PUPPY ON PATROL vanquished RUBBER KNIFE in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight. SERB SMASHER overpowered FRED BEAR in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. GLUM was luckily beaten by MIKE TYSON in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match. TOTTI devastated DESPERADO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle. PRIMUS bested WEINERMUN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody bout. GROLSCH defeated BEAR ACUDA in a popular 5 minute bloody duel. DUTCH TREAT vanquished AVONSIDE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. NEWT GINGRICH viciously subdued MAD CAT in a popular 2 minute brutal brawl. DAIRY QUEEN savagely defeated VERMICIOUS KNID in a exciting 3 minute brutal bout. KING UVDAHELL overpowered THE BLACKSMITH in a 1 minute mismatched conflict. JACK VALTRAEDS savagely defeated RIRORNI COOK in a exciting 1 minute gory duel. RUBBER KNIFE was handily defeated by BLUE BLOOD in a 2 minute uneven duel. WHEEL OF FORTUNE savagely defeated SODIAC in a popular 2 minute gory match. HARI-KARI vanquished CLOTTO in a action packed 1 minute gory one-sided match. BLACK FLAG was overpowered by ABHORRENCE in a exciting 1 minute uneven match. BILLY LILLY was viciously subdued by DEVIL'S ADVOCATE in a popular 2 minute fray. HUNTSMAN beat AMELIA in a action packed 1 minute brutal competition. ZIGGY WOLFSBANE savagely defeated ROXANNE DE'MORRE in a action packed 7 minute fight. NECROMANCER overpowered UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. AIKEN overpowered GHOST DANCER in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout. YOUNG JOAN handily defeated SRAN3E in a action packed 4 minute gory mismatched match. UNHOLY TERROR was unbelievably bested by BAERRA in a 2 minute brutal battle. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |TOTAL PARRY 10 TOTAL PARRY 57 - 26 - 0 69 | |WALL OF STEEL 10 LUNGING ATTACK 47 - 35 - 1 57 | |SLASHING ATTACK 8 WALL OF STEEL 49 - 42 - 1 54 | |LUNGING ATTACK 8 PARRY-RIPOSTE 22 - 20 - 1 52 | |AIMED BLOW 4 AIMED BLOW 28 - 26 - 0 52 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 4 SLASHING ATTACK 30 - 32 - 0 48 | |BASHING ATTACK 4 BASHING ATTACK 12 - 15 - 1 44 | |STRIKING ATTACK 4 PARRY-LUNGE 10 - 17 - 0 37 | |PARRY-LUNGE 3 STRIKING ATTACK 14 - 26 - 3 35 | |PARRY-STRIKE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 3 - 0 0 | Turn 200 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: AIMED BLOW 3 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 2 3 WALL OF STEEL TOTAL PARRY 7 - 3 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 3 3 SLASHING ATTACK SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 3 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 TOTAL PARRY PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 2 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE LUNGING ATTACK 4 - 4 1 LUNGING ATTACK BASHING ATTACK 2 - 2 WALL OF STEEL 5 - 5 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME TOTAL PARRY MORTICIAN 2-3890 87 20 1 374 DARK TOADS (1185) WALL OF STEEL PRIMUS 21-4975 60 16 0 276 REAL BEER (859) PARRY-RIPOSTE JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407 117 71 2 239 ROYAL FLUSH (10) SLASHING ATTACK NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399 92 32 0 231 PARTY ANIMALS (476) LUNGING ATTACK KING UVDAHELL 47-1643 57 30 1 226 ROYAL FLUSH (10) BASHING ATTACK MAD CAT 7-2965 59 42 6 210 INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) PARRY-LUNGE BEAR ACUDA 47-4995 34 33 1 209 THE BEAR'S PAW (196) AIMED BLOW HARI-KARI 73-3049 27 5 0 194 WAY TO GO! II (1010) STRIKING ATTACK CAFFREY'S 21-4748 20 4 3 150 REAL BEER (859) The overall popularity leader is JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407. The most popular warrior this turn was PAT 35-2292. The ten other most popular fighters were VENEMOUS PORCUPINE 44-288, BEAR ACUDA 47-4995, WEINERMUN 37-2635, DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685, ZIGGY WOLFSBANE 21-6432, ROXANNE DE'MORRE 50-3449, CAFFREY'S 21-4748, BOARISH YELTSIN 5-3109, WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529, and DUNEDIN 14-3703. The least popular fighter this week was DESPERADO 28-1152. The other ten least popular fighters were SAMURAI STRIKER 71-62, GHOST DANCER 28-3365, AMELIA 28-3417, BILLY LILLY 28-3416, BLACK FLAG 82--19490, FRED BEAR 47-5348, RUBBER KNIFE 54-2038, GERRICK GRIMM 50-3530, SRAN3E 28-4382, and RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K NIANIA(2) 1 0 0 LYRATILAN(25) 1 0 0 FRATSFA(52) 1 0 0 JHELUM(4) 1 0 0 CALEAM(26) 1 0 0 TROCAR(54) 1 2 0 KALTOS(5) 2 0 0 MORYA(28) 1 6 0 ANDOR(57) 0 1 0 BONSUR(7) 2 2 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 1 0 0 ARADI(60) 0 1 0 ARKERS(8) 1 1 0 MURSKA(35) 0 1 0 FIREHOLD(68) 1 0 0 ARUAK CITY(11) 1 0 0 SIBIKHAS(37) 0 1 0 KYR'TERR(71) 4 2 0 DULLENS(13) 0 1 0 KRILL(44) 0 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 2 0 0 TOBIR(14) 1 0 0 NORTH FORK(47) 3 2 0 LIN TIRIAN(78) 1 0 0 ALJAFIR(17) 1 0 0 SNOWBOUND(50) 0 2 0 DWES EG(82) 0 1 0 SUNSET(21) 3 1 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY MORTICIAN 2-3890 87 20 1 374 DARK TOADS (1185) NIANIA ABHORRENCE 4-5568 19 8 2 161 GLOOM AND DOOM (1151) JHELUM NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399 92 32 0 231 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS MAD CAT 7-2965 59 42 6 210 INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR ZIT 8-4385 30 3 0 184 Z GLADIATORZ (1128) ARKERS LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373 18 13 0 164 CONSORTIUM CRAP (1248) ARUAK CITY AVONSIDE 13-3927 38 53 1 207 KIWI CONNECTION (747) DULLENS DUNEDIN 14-3703 34 54 0 201 OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808) TOBIR TOTTI 17-5991 18 9 2 88 ITALIAN FOOTBALL (826) ALJAFIR PRIMUS 21-4975 60 16 0 276 REAL BEER (859) SUNSET WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529 54 56 2 219 DUELING FOR DOLLARS (558) LYRATILAN DUTCH TREAT 26-1841 112 37 2 222 WORLDWIDE GORE (35) CALEAM BALDER 28-3778 32 34 3 180 VALHALLA (1102) MORYA PRIVATE ROOM 31-3620 26 13 0 184 MILITARY MAYHEM (37) CHIMLEVTAL PAT 35-2292 47 50 2 203 COMMON JOE'S (509) MURSKA WEINERMUN 37-2635 62 62 3 209 ALL THE MUN'S MEN (219) SIBIKHAS VENEMOUS PORCUPINE 44-288 89 63 1 210 D.A. REJECTS (38) KRILL JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407 117 71 2 239 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK GERRICK GRIMM 50-3530 20 24 1 133 DRUID'S GROVE (1041) SNOWBOUND RAVISHING REDBUD 52-3197 39 14 0 206 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA XYCO 54-2899 23 11 3 148 JANIX (1223) TROCAR RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546 24 7 1 181 USELESS TOOLS (1249) ANDOR BLOODBATH 60-704 70 60 2 203 BASKET WEAVING 101 (225) ARADI DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 68-4666 16 6 0 144 BLOOD 4 THE MASSES (1239) FIREHOLD PUPPY ON PATROL 71-1613 21 14 0 169 DOGS OF WAR (418) KYR'TERR BLUE BLOOD 73-3657 25 13 1 210 BLACK & BLUE (1090) ERINIKA NECROMANCER 78-2520 20 3 1 92 MAGIC ARTISTS (1218) LIN TIRIAN BLACK FLAG 82--19490 31 18 3 136 TONGUE N CHEEK (1203) DWES EG Name-Change-O-Rama The summer tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there normally. This included Commission employees. Half a dozen arenamasters regarded each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack. The Pig was obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking for. They saw gladiators every day. Most arenamaster were convinced that this was some kind of punishment. You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd. There were superficial differences: One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two were female. But there were, in significant ways, alike. The same size, the same hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness. The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute. "I'm Zrof One- Eye from Zukal. Sugar of Arvat--" One of the women bowed slightly. "I know Sugar. The rest of you...?" The Adantri matched his salute. "Dernal of Dayla Kiv." "Daiyla Kiv? Ah...." "No, without the 'I' in it. These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic." Disgust dripped from his voice. "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement. "Khagal of Niatoli, and what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!" "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," Arenamistress Sugar said. "The arena, at least, because of a contest?" "Chavez Ravine." Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company for spitting on the floor. Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness. He wouldn't have minded a contest in Zukal, and damn what they called the place. "It's only temporary, though." "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered. He seemed well into his drinking, although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well. "They do it all the time in Aradi. No reshpect. Go around changing thish, changing that. I wish I could change shome thingsh." He signalled the bartender for a refill. The second woman put her hand over his mug. "You've had enough, Harkon. Try the coffee, instead." "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said. "They're going to do shtuff like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?" Ripples Dorrigan shrugged. All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to watch. "It's the way things are," she said. "Not much we can do about it." "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes. Fix the spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--" "The Commission hates changes." Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and drained it gloomily. "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a general Name-Change-O-Rama! Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would notice or mind." *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of September, 2008. If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer Service. The charge for a name change is $1.