AD

Date   : 09/09/2008    Duedate: 10/06/2008

CRYSALIS

DM-106    TURN-200

RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %  RANK TEAMS                  W    L  K    %
  1 SENTINELS 7/1202        5    2  0 71.4    4 SUPERIOR FOR 71/1236   17   11  0 60.7
    NOMADIC TRIBE 21/1219                     5 COMMON JOE'S 35/509   537  566  5 48.7
  2 REAL BEER 21/859     2013  993 28 67.0      BLACK & BLUE 73/1090                  
    WAY TO GO! II 73/1010                       BASKET WEAVING 101 60/225             
    ITALIAN FOOTBALL 17/826                     INSP GADGETS MINIONS 7/214            
    CONSORTIUM CRAP 11/1248                     ALL THE MUN'S MEN 37/219              
    USELESS TOOLS 57/1249                       BLOOD 4 THE MASSES 68/1239            
    D.A. REJECTS 44/38                          DUELING FOR DOLLARS 25/558            
    WORLDWIDE GORE 26/35                        KIWI CONNECTION 13/747                
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/476                         OTAGO HIGHLANDERS 14/808              
    MILITARY MAYHEM 31/37                       THE FAMILY TREE 20/717                
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/10                         6 BLOOD RITES 8/1253     16   18  0 47.1
    USELESS TOOLS 54/552                        TONGUE N CHEEK 82/1203                
  3 LENPROS 30/189        276  142  0 66.0    7 JANIX 54/1223         122  156  4 43.9
    DARK TOADS 04W 82/1242                      THE BEAR'S PAW 47/196                 
    Z GLADIATORZ 8/1128                         VALHALLA 28/1102                      
    DARK TOADS 2/1185                         8 DRUID'S GROV 50/1041   19   29  2 39.6
    ANIMAL FARM 11/1095                       9 DODGE BULLETS 28/867  392  700  4 35.9
    GLOOM AND DOOM 4/1151                    10 X-MEN 34/3             19   36  0 34.5
    CRAZY CREEPS 60/363                         DOGS OF WAR 71/418                    
    FLOWER GIRLS 52/265                         PHANTACITY 28/1252                    
    MAGIC ARTISTS 78/1218                       BIG BAD BRAWLERS 71/459               
    CHEAP SHOTS 39/1160                      11-FILIPINA LAD 28/1147   10   28  2 26.3

    '##/###' Avoid teams by their Team Id     '-'  Team did not fight this turn

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

     Mortician, Holder Of The Helm, has deferred writing his DM Column. I, the lowly
Consortium Scribe, have been designated to work overtime to write something for him.
(Do you think they pay time and a half for OT?)  So here goes.
     Here are The Consortium's last 10 graduates.  (Do you think they will fire me
for giving out this info?  Well, they shouldn't have assigned it to me and shoulda
paid time and a half!)

13(+1)-10-9-17-15-10-11 SL VH/LO Broadsword (16-6-0)
14(+2)-18(+3)-16-7(+2)-21(+1)-6-11(+1) TP LO/Lo Quarterstaff (40-11-0)

13(+2)-19(+2)-15-13(+1)-21(+3)-4(+1)-11(+3) TP LO/VL Longsword (29-8-0)
17-14(+1)-14-17-10-6-7 BA HI/LO Medium Shield (17-11-1)

9(+1)-3-20-15-17-10-11 ST VL/MD Fist (15-12-1)
11(+1)-11(+1)-12-16(+1)-18(+1)-10-11(+1) LU HI/VH Epee (21-16-0)

11(+2)-15(+2)-8-15-21-7-11 WS VH/VL Quarterstaff (23-5-0)
18-5-10-15-9-16-11 BA HI/LO War Flail (17-5-2)

10(+1)-3-21-17-9-14-11 ST MD/VL Greatsword (14-9-0)
11(+1)-11(+2)-9-17-17-5-17 PR MD/MD Epee (16-4-0)

9(+1)-9-10-17-9-10-21 AB MD/MD Short Spear (14-6-0)

What the heck!  I added an eleventh.  I didn't like this job anyhow.  Use the info as
you see fit.
     The Consortium Scribe (resume available upon request)

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                             ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 299): MISS TOOK of LADIES IN WAITING (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 297): VORTEX of FLYING MONKEYS (?, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 295): EXECUTIONER of RETRIBUTION (Lord of Retribution, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 250): DUCK A L'ORANGE of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 272): TUNDRA of ARCTIC WASTES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 266): THE RON of WARHAMMERS (Coyote, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 253): ON MY WAY of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 247): LEO of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 237): BLACKHAWKZ of RAPTORZ (Owlin the Wise, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 225): KONA QUAIL of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 201): BENITO CHATTE of THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 201): PORKY PIG of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 202): SKIN PEELER of BLACKMAIL (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 299): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 297): EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 295): WAR (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 250): WACKY (The Zoo Keeper, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 272): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 266): THE BEAR'S PAW (Kat, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 253): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 247): ZERO (?, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 237): RAPTORZ (Owlin the Wise, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 225): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 201): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 201): MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 202): MONGOL HORDE (?, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 298): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 297): TROOPER TED of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
              (turn 296): XANAX of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 249): HOT AIR DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 265): BARBARINO of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
                             JACK & JILL of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.)
                             RHIANNON of GAELIC STORM (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 252): TRASH CAN of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 236): MOUSETRAP of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 201): BENITO CHATTE of THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     And here we are again, at the end of the summer, more or less, and with a
respectable showing.  Oh, yes, compare us to, for example, Home Guard, and we're
amazing.  Thirty fights, okay, with five standbys, but Home guard had something like
NINE fights with five standbys, so I don't figure we're in trouble here.  Twelve
challenges, none of them tv, but we can't have everything, I guess.
     Dueling for Dollars was most avoided.  Does that mean most of you are doing it
for the sheer enjoyment?  Royal Flush was the official most-avoider.
     Balder got the most challenges.  The Unknown Spymasters says "If challenges were
votes, Balder would be president."  Now there's a prospect to scare a man!

A quick run through the fights themselves:
     UNHOLY TERROR (8-5051) (15-8-3,54) of BLOOD RITES fought BAERRA (7-1048) (27-9-
0,90) of SENTINELS.  UNHOLY TERROR was unbelievably bested by BAERRA in a 2 minute
brutal battle.  A lot of times, the stewards describe a victory as "unbelievable" and
you can't figure out why.  Setting aside the old "seeing is believing," my guess is
that Bearra dropped the ball in the first minute and only managed to scramble it back
in the second.  Comments, Bearra?
     YOUNG JOAN (28-3534) (28-31-1,80) of DODGE BULLETS fought SRAN3E (28-4382) (16-
9-0,62) of PHANTACITY.  YOUNG JOAN handily defeated SRAN3E in an action packed 4
minute gory mismatched match.  A home-town match, I see.  As for "handily," is this
the extra experience?
     AIKEN (71-3933) (8-5-0,38) of SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 fought GHOST DANCER (28-3365)
(30-21-0,63) of DODGE BULLETS.  AIKEN overpowered GHOST DANCER in a popular 1 minute
one-sided bout.  Popular.  Huh, because it was short and ugly?

     NECROMANCER (78-2520) (19-3-1,85) of MAGIC ARTISTS fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON
(106-5) (0-0-0,70) of the College of Mimes.  NECROMANCER overpowered UNEMPLOYED
PERSON in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.  Let's hope this is a good omen for
Necromancer, eh?
     ZIGGY WOLFSBANE (21-6432) (21-12-0,75) of NOMADIC TRIBE fought ROXANNE DE'MORRE
(50-3449) (33-28-0,72) of DRUID'S GROVE.  ZIGGY WOLFSBANE savagely defeated ROXANNE
DE'MORRE in an action packed 7 minute fight.  Seven minutes of savagery makes a mess
of the arena, almost as bad as "bloody," "gory," or "gruesome."  Keeps those sand-
rakers on their toes (trying to keep their shoes clean).
     HUNTSMAN (7-5837) (18-4-0,90) of SENTINELS fought AMELIA (28-3417) (24-10-1,69)
of DODGE BULLETS.  HUNTSMAN beat AMELIA in an action packed 1 minute brutal
competition.  It takes a skilled and impatient gladiator to pack that much brutal
action into one minute.  Or maybe to brutally pack that much action into a minute.
     BILLY LILLY (28-3416) (27-23-1,103) of DODGE BULLETS fought DEVIL'S ADVOCATE
(68-4666) (15-6-0,142) of BLOOD 4 THE MASSES.  BILLY LILLY was viciously subdued by
DEVIL'S ADVOCATE in a popular 2 minute fray.  There's a note here in the margins of
the, ah, cheat-sheet to the effect that those who support devils are always vicious.
Is this true?  Comments, anyone?
     BLACK FLAG (82-46046) (31-17-3,158) of TONGUE N CHEEK fought ABHORRENCE (4-5568)
(18-8-2,128) of GLOOM AND DOOM.  BLACK FLAG was overpowered by ABHORRENCE in an
exciting 1 minute uneven match.  I'm inclined to think the gladiators's names say it
all here.

     HARI-KARI (73-3049) (26-5-0,181) of WAY TO GO! II fought CLOTTO (106-25) (0-0-
0,181) of the College of Mimes.  HARI-KARI vanquished CLOTTO in an action packed 1
minute gory one-sided match.  Gore everywhere.  Clotto was upset about it, but as
long as the person being upset is a mime, well, you don't have to look, right?
     WHEEL OF FORTUNE (25-2529) (53-56-2,210) of DUELING FOR DOLLARS fought SODIAC
(7-1049) (28-17-2,181) of SENTINELS.  WHEEL OF FORTUNE savagely defeated SODIAC in a
popular 2 minute gory match.  Ah, no!  I hate looking at traffic accidents.  It's a
phobia.  Somehow the gore seems worse than what you get in a fight.
     RUBBER KNIFE (57-2546) (24-6-1,200) of USELESS TOOLS fought BLUE BLOOD (73-3657)
(24-13-1,176) of BLACK & BLUE.  RUBBER KNIFE was handily defeated by BLUE BLOOD in a
2 minute uneven duel.  Never bring a rubber sword into a fight.  Not a serious fight,
anyway.
     JACK VALTRAEDS (47-407) (116-71-2,237) of ROYAL FLUSH fought RIRORNI COOK (106-
24) (0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes.  JACK VALTRAEDS savagely defeated RIRORNI
COOK in an exciting 1 minute gory duel.  And if anyone finds dinner in the arena
cafeteria not to his or her taste, you know who to blame.
     KING UVDAHELL (47-1643) (56-30-1,220) of ROYAL FLUSH fought THE BLACKSMITH (106-
22) (0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes.  KING UVDAHELL overpowered THE BLACKSMITH in
a 1 minute mismatched conflict.  You know, I really don't see the point in
mismatching with standbys.  There are standbys available at all ranks, so why not
pick someone appropriate?  I'm not getting this.

     DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (82-47-3,217) of ROYAL FLUSH fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106-
30) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  DAIRY QUEEN savagely defeated VERMICIOUS
KNID in an exciting 3 minute brutal bout.  Now, that is an attack form you don't see
very often:  soft-serve ice cream shoved into the ears.  It certainly excited the
Knid; we had to scrape him off the walls.
     NEWT GINGRICH (5-3399) (91-32-0,214) of PARTY ANIMALS fought MAD CAT (7-2965)
(59-41-6,209) of INSP GADGETS MINIONS.  NEWT GINGRICH viciously subdued MAD CAT in a
popular 2 minute brutal brawl.  Who would have thought Newt was an ailurophobe?  But
nothing else would explain that frenzy and revulsion.
     DUTCH TREAT (26-1841) (111-37-2,213) of WORLDWIDE GORE fought AVONSIDE (13-3927)
(38-52-1,197) of KIWI CONNECTION.  DUTCH TREAT vanquished AVONSIDE in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.  I had a Dutch treat once, it was a tulip dipped in
chocolate.  Very... unusual.
     GROLSCH (21-5029) (54-10-4,259) of REAL BEER fought BEAR ACUDA (47-4995) (34-32-
1,209) of THE BEAR'S PAW.  GROLSCH defeated BEAR ACUDA in a popular 5 minute bloody
duel.  But you'll note that this is not characterized as a "mis-match," despite the
differences in ranking, which means that Bear Acuda put up one heck of a fight.  Good
work, even losing.
     PRIMUS (21-4975) (59-16-0,267) of REAL BEER fought WEINERMUN (37-2635) (62-61-
3,210) of ALL THE MUN'S MEN.  PRIMUS bested WEINERMUN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute
bloody bout.  Well, of course the crowd was pleased!  Beer and hotdogs are
practically something or other.  Like ham and eggs.

Here ends the random matches, and the challenges begin:
     TOTTI (17-5991) (17-9-2,76) of ITALIAN FOOTBALL challenged DESPERADO (28-1152)
(29-32-1,80) of DODGE BULLETS.  Up 4.  TOTTI devastated DESPERADO in a 1 minute one-
sided Challenge battle.  I can hardly wait to find whether Desperado went desperate
during this one.  I bet he did.  I've been told he hates being kicked around.
     GLUM (54-2766) (18-8-1,90) of JANIX challenged MIKE TYSON (71-360) (22-9-1,84)
of BIG BAD BRAWLERS.  Down 6.  GLUM was luckily beaten by MIKE TYSON in a crowd
pleasing 2 minute Challenge match.  How do you tell the difference between luck and
skill?  I've wondered about that from time to time.  Did Glum trip over a lost
initiative, giving Mike an unexpected opening, or what?
     SERB SMASHER (71-1393) (19-11-2,100) of DOGS OF WAR challenged FRED BEAR (47-
5348) (26-16-0,122) of THE BEAR'S PAW.  Up 22.  SERB SMASHER overpowered FRED BEAR in
a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.  I wouldn't have taken Fred for a serb,
but what do I know, eh?  Maybe he is.  A secret serb.  With garlic and oregano.

     PUPPY ON PATROL (71-1613) (20-14-0,124) of DOGS OF WAR challenged RUBBER KNIFE
(54-2038) (51-40-1,180) of USELESS TOOLS.  Up 56.  PUPPY ON PATROL vanquished RUBBER
KNIFE in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.  Now, here's fine puzzle for the
crunchers:  Puppy, lower-ranked and less experienced, beat Rubber in a one-sided
fight.  Is this making a comment about the Pup, the Knife, or a really bad style
match?  Or good, depending on which end you've got, of course.
     CAFFREY'S (21-4748) (20-3-3,150) of REAL BEER challenged ZIT (8-4385) (29-3-
0,175) of Z GLADIATORZ.  Up 25.  CAFFREY'S lost to ZIT in an action packed 3 minute
Challenge fight.  Too bad, Caffrey's, but it's only temporary.  My mother always said
to use soap, warm water, and a washcloth for this.  And pour your next beer over
Zit's head.
     XYCO (54-2899) (22-11-3,146) of JANIX challenged GERRICK GRIMM (50-3530) (20-23-
1,131) of DRUID'S GROVE.  Down 13.  XYCO viciously subdued GERRICK GRIMM in an action
packed 1 minute Challenge melee.  Are we to conclude that Xyco is anti-druid?  This
is not an unknown position.
     SAMURAI STRIKER (71-62) (20-20-1,131) of DOGS OF WAR challenged LAND OF FLUSH
(11-4373) (17-13-0,160) of CONSORTIUM CRAP.  Up 29.  SAMURAI STRIKER was devastated
by LAND OF FLUSH in a 1 minute Challenge competition.  Given their respective
rankings, this can hardly be a surprise.  But perhaps the Striker learned many useful
skills.

     CHUCK NORRIS (71-993) (18-10-1,150) of BIG BAD BRAWLERS challenged PRIVATE ROOM
(31-3620) (25-13-0,175) of MILITARY MAYHEM.  Up 25.  CHUCK NORRIS was vanquished by
PRIVATE ROOM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  So easily is a reputation
tarnished!  This may be a major disaster for Chuck, though the worst of it seems to
have happened out of sight.  Whence came the private enclosure to the arena sands?
     BALDER (28-3778) (32-33-3,180) of VALHALLA challenged DUNEDIN (14-3703) (33-54-
0,197) of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS.  Up 17.  This is Balder the Most Challenged, making his
own choices.  BALDER was savagely defeated by DUNEDIN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute
Challenge match.  And not, perhaps, the wisest possible choices.  But then who can
claim to be wise at all times?  Not even the greatest sages.
     RAVISHING REDBUD (52-3197) (38-14-0,199) of FLOWER GIRLS challenged PAT (35-
2292) (47-49-2,207) of COMMON JOE'S.  Up 8.  RAVISHING REDBUD unbelievably bested PAT
in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge brawl.  "Unbelievable," pah.  I not only
believed, I was expecting it and did very well out of this.  Allow me to buy you
dinner, Ravishing Redbud!
     BOARISH YELTSIN (5-3109) (74-47-2,212) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged BLOODBATH
(60-704) (70-59-2,255) of BASKET WEAVING 101.  Up 43.  BOARISH YELTSIN savagely
defeated BLOODBATH in an exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.  AND the Boarish one
unwove all the baskets.

For the title:
     Oh, gods, the Unknown Spymaster has, quite by accident, I'm sure, picked up on
true detail:  to wit, the Venomous Porcupine's "unsubtle" advances.  Does he know
these from personal experiment?  One cannot but wonder.  However, the fight--
     MORTICIAN (2-3890) (86-20-1,352) of DARK TOADS challenged VENEMOUS PORCUPINE
(44-288) (89-62-1,308) of D.A. REJECTS.  Down 44.  MORTICIAN viciously subdued
VENEMOUS PORCUPINE in a 19 minute Challenge Title fight.  I believe this to be our
longest fight, and I find myself wondering what they were doing down there in all
those clinches.  Congratulations, regardless.

                                       Ketchum

THE TOWER GUARDIAN            W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MORTICIAN 2-3890            87  20  1  374  DARK TOADS (1185)          NIANIA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 PRIMUS 21-4975              60  16  0  276  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 GROLSCH 21-5029             55  10  4  268  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407      117  71  2  239  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399        92  32  0  231  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 BOARISH YELTSIN 5-3109      75  47  2  226  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 KING UVDAHELL 47-1643       57  30  1  226  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685         83  47  3  225  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 DUTCH TREAT 26-1841        112  37  2  222  WORLDWIDE GORE (35)        CALEAM
 WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529    54  56  2  219  DUELING FOR DOLLARS (558)  LYRATILAN

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 VENEMOUS PORCUPINE 44-288   89  63  1  210  D.A. REJECTS (38)          KRILL
 MAD CAT 7-2965              59  42  6  210  INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR
 BLUE BLOOD 73-3657          25  13  1  210  BLACK & BLUE (1090)        ERINIKA
 WEINERMUN 37-2635           62  62  3  209  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (219)    SIBIKHAS
 BEAR ACUDA 47-4995          34  33  1  209  THE BEAR'S PAW (196)       NORTH FORK
 AVONSIDE 13-3927            38  53  1  207  KIWI CONNECTION (747)      DULLENS
 RAVISHING REDBUD 52-3197    39  14  0  206  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
-TINY TIM 60-6042            29   8  1  206  CRAZY CREEPS (363)         ARADI
 BLOODBATH 60-704            70  60  2  203  BASKET WEAVING 101 (225)   ARADI
 PAT 35-2292                 47  50  2  203  COMMON JOE'S (509)         MURSKA
 DUNEDIN 14-3703             34  54  0  201  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808)    TOBIR
-WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167     44  14  1  197  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
 HARI-KARI 73-3049           27   5  0  194  WAY TO GO! II (1010)       ERINIKA
-BLOODY SKIN 20-1986         39  38  1  187  THE FAMILY TREE (717)      SEAM
 ZIT 8-4385                  30   3  0  184  Z GLADIATORZ (1128)        ARKERS
 PRIVATE ROOM 31-3620        26  13  0  184  MILITARY MAYHEM (37)       CHIMLEVTAL

GRAND CHAMPIONS               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-VIOLET VULTURE 11-6612      26   5  0  183  ANIMAL FARM (1095)         ARUAK CITY
 SODIAC 7-1049               28  18  2  182  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546        24   7  1  181  USELESS TOOLS (1249)       ANDOR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS       W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BALDER 28-3778              32  34  3  180  VALHALLA (1102)            MORYA
 PUPPY ON PATROL 71-1613     21  14  0  169  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
 LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373       18  13  0  164  CONSORTIUM CRAP (1248)     ARUAK CITY
 ABHORRENCE 4-5568           19   8  2  161  GLOOM AND DOOM (1151)      JHELUM

GRAND ADEPTS                  W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CAFFREY'S 21-4748           20   4  3  150  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 CHUCK NORRIS 71-993         18  11  1  150  BIG BAD BRAWLERS (459)     KYR'TERR
 XYCO 54-2899                23  11  3  148  JANIX (1223)               TROCAR
-WYVERN 82-29373             16   5  0  147  DARK TOADS 04W (1242)      DWES EG
 RUBBER KNIFE 54-2038        51  41  1  144  USELESS TOOLS (552)        TROCAR
 DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 68-4666    16   6  0  144  BLOOD 4 THE MASSES (1239)  FIREHOLD
 BLACK FLAG 82--19490        31  18  3  136  TONGUE N CHEEK (1203)      DWES EG
 GERRICK GRIMM 50-3530       20  24  1  133  DRUID'S GROVE (1041)       SNOWBOUND
 SAMURAI STRIKER 71-62       20  21  1  129  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
 SERB SMASHER 71-1393        20  11  2  127  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
 BILLY LILLY 28-3416         27  24  1  111  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 FRED BEAR 47-5348           26  17  0  103  THE BEAR'S PAW (196)       NORTH FORK

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES    W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-LADY ELMA 28-4244           20  23  2  100  FILIPINA LADYZ (1147)      MORYA
 MIKE TYSON 71-360           23   9  1   98  BIG BAD BRAWLERS (459)     KYR'TERR
 HUNTSMAN 7-5837             19   4  0   98  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
-ERASMUS 7-5843              25  21  0   96  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 YOUNG JOAN 28-3534          29  31  1   92  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 BAERRA 7-1048               28   9  0   92  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 NECROMANCER 78-2520         20   3  1   92  MAGIC ARTISTS (1218)       LIN TIRIAN

GRAND INITIATES               W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GLUM 54-2766                18   9  1   89  JANIX (1223)               TROCAR
-HARDRADA 81-353             25  13  0   88  DRAGONBANE GUILD (1240)    SHADOWSPIRE
 TOTTI 17-5991               18   9  2   88  ITALIAN FOOTBALL (826)     ALJAFIR
-DON FRANCIS 30-4619         17   8  0   88  LENPROS (189)              IAYE
 ZIGGY WOLFSBANE 21-6432     22  12  0   85  NOMADIC TRIBE (1219)       SUNSET
 ROXANNE DE'MORRE 50-3449    33  29  0   74  DRUID'S GROVE (1041)       SNOWBOUND
 AMELIA 28-3417              24  11  1   73  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 DESPERADO 28-1152           29  33  1   70  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 AIKEN 71-3933                9   5  0   67  SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 (1236)  KYR'TERR
-MIKE MILLER 46-4006         18  12  0   66  FANDILS (220)              ARDIVENT
 UNHOLY TERROR 8-5051        15   9  3   64  BLOOD RITES (1253)         ARKERS
-STEWART 14-4213             15  10  3   58  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808)    TOBIR
 SRAN3E 28-4382              16  10  0   57  PHANTACITY (1252)          MORYA
-BLACK EYE 11-6946           16   6  0   54  COLORIFIC (1050)           ARUAK CITY
-SMIRK 39-3606               27  10  0   49  CHEAP SHOTS (1160)         XOCHITHLAN
-MAGNETO 34-1665             15  20  0   47  X-MEN (3)                  MONUNTIAL
 GHOST DANCER 28-3365        30  22  0   41  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

SRAN3E -- Never get in the way of The Family. -- Don Francis

Wheel Of Fortune -- I wouldn't say this to most, but "whew!" -- Mortician

Ghost Dancer -- Some how somebody had to win.  I was the lucky one. -- Necroma The
Necromancer

Bloodbath -- I am SORRY!  I did THAT?  I don't believe it!  Not only do I not
downchallenge, but by 62 points?!  I need to be spanked.  Wanna do it to me? (wink)
-- Ravishing Redbud
P.S.  I really did not mean to do that.  I must have erred somehow.
P.P.S.  It is only fitting that you came out on top.  Did you like it? (giggle)

Desperado -- Now that wasn't funny at all! -- Smirk

Newt Gingrich -- And to think I would have voted for you? -- Tiny Tim (feelings hurt)

Boarish -- You clipped my wings, you worthless autocrat!  You just wait! -- Violet
Vulture

Fred Bear -- 'Tis better to be a flying beauty than merely a big old ugly carnivore!
-- Wyvern

Devil's Advocate -- Perhaps you should have sent the real thing? -- Zit

Young Joan -- No more.  I will try to be nice. -- Wyvern

Welcome all you newbies to Crysalis.  We are glad to see you here. -- The Consortium

Smirk -- Hard to keep that up with a split lip, isn't it?  And I enjoyed splitting
your lip.  I would've done more, but that damned busybody of an arenamaster stepped
in.  Where does that dummy get off, huh?  Or I could drown you in my bathtub, except
it would pollute the water.  Huh, let me think about some options here. -- Desperado

Necromancer -- You may be making your luck, lady, but you're surely pushing mine!
There I am, standing in the wings waiting in case I'm called into the adventure, and
along comes someone who should be an ally and creams me!  Ouch.  I shudder to think
what the Author will do with this! -- Ghost Dancer

Gerrick Grimm -- There are times when a smile would be a good thing.  But it would
have to crack that mask of a face you've got, wouldn't it? -- Billy Lilly

Lady Elma -- I find it easier to attack men than women, especially those who are
clearly ladies through and through.  This is going to be a handicap, isn't it? --
Young Joan, with visions of who-knows-what looming ahead

Mike Tyson -- About what one would expect of a Big Bad Brawler. -- Amelia

Ketchum -- But only ONE beer! -- Desperado, not reckless with his money

     Stingy.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MORTICIAN viciously subdued VENEMOUS PORCUPINE in a 19 minute Challenge Title fight.
BOARISH YELTSIN savagely defeated BLOODBATH in a exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.
RAVISHING REDBUD unbelievably bested PAT in a crowd pleasing 6 minute Challenge brawl.
BALDER was savagely defeated by DUNEDIN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match.
CHUCK NORRIS was vanquished by PRIVATE ROOM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SAMURAI STRIKER was devastated by LAND OF FLUSH in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
XYCO viciously subdued GERRICK GRIMM in a action packed 1 minute Challenge melee.
CAFFREY'S lost to ZIT in a action packed 3 minute Challenge fight.
PUPPY ON PATROL vanquished RUBBER KNIFE in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SERB SMASHER overpowered FRED BEAR in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
GLUM was luckily beaten by MIKE TYSON in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match.
TOTTI devastated DESPERADO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
PRIMUS bested WEINERMUN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody bout.
GROLSCH defeated BEAR ACUDA in a popular 5 minute bloody duel.
DUTCH TREAT vanquished AVONSIDE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
NEWT GINGRICH viciously subdued MAD CAT in a popular 2 minute brutal brawl.
DAIRY QUEEN savagely defeated VERMICIOUS KNID in a exciting 3 minute brutal bout.
KING UVDAHELL overpowered THE BLACKSMITH in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
JACK VALTRAEDS savagely defeated RIRORNI COOK in a exciting 1 minute gory duel.
RUBBER KNIFE was handily defeated by BLUE BLOOD in a 2 minute uneven duel.
WHEEL OF FORTUNE savagely defeated SODIAC in a popular 2 minute gory match.
HARI-KARI vanquished CLOTTO in a action packed 1 minute gory one-sided match.
BLACK FLAG was overpowered by ABHORRENCE in a exciting 1 minute uneven match.
BILLY LILLY was viciously subdued by DEVIL'S ADVOCATE in a popular 2 minute fray.
HUNTSMAN beat AMELIA in a action packed 1 minute brutal competition.
ZIGGY WOLFSBANE savagely defeated ROXANNE DE'MORRE in a action packed 7 minute fight.
NECROMANCER overpowered UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
AIKEN overpowered GHOST DANCER in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
YOUNG JOAN handily defeated SRAN3E in a action packed 4 minute gory mismatched match.
UNHOLY TERROR was unbelievably bested by BAERRA in a 2 minute brutal battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         TOTAL PARRY       57 -  26 -  0      69  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   10         LUNGING ATTACK    47 -  35 -  1      57  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         WALL OF STEEL     49 -  42 -  1      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         PARRY-RIPOSTE     22 -  20 -  1      52  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        28 -  26 -  0      52  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   30 -  32 -  0      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  15 -  1      44  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  17 -  0      37  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         STRIKING ATTACK   14 -  26 -  3      35  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 200 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         3  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  3         3  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2                                       2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  4                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2     
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  5     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      MORTICIAN 2-3890           87  20  1  374 DARK TOADS (1185)
WALL OF STEEL    PRIMUS 21-4975             60  16  0  276 REAL BEER (859)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407     117  71  2  239 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
SLASHING ATTACK  NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399       92  32  0  231 PARTY ANIMALS (476)
LUNGING ATTACK   KING UVDAHELL 47-1643      57  30  1  226 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
BASHING ATTACK   MAD CAT 7-2965             59  42  6  210 INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214)
PARRY-LUNGE      BEAR ACUDA 47-4995         34  33  1  209 THE BEAR'S PAW (196)
AIMED BLOW       HARI-KARI 73-3049          27   5  0  194 WAY TO GO! II (1010)
STRIKING ATTACK  CAFFREY'S 21-4748          20   4  3  150 REAL BEER (859)

The overall popularity leader is JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was PAT 35-2292.  The ten other most popular fighters were VENEMOUS 
PORCUPINE 44-288, BEAR ACUDA 47-4995, WEINERMUN 37-2635, DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685, ZIGGY 
WOLFSBANE 21-6432, ROXANNE DE'MORRE 50-3449, CAFFREY'S 21-4748, BOARISH YELTSIN 
5-3109, WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529, and DUNEDIN 14-3703.

The least popular fighter this week was DESPERADO 28-1152.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SAMURAI STRIKER 71-62, GHOST DANCER 28-3365, AMELIA 28-3417, 
BILLY LILLY 28-3416, BLACK FLAG 82--19490, FRED BEAR 47-5348, RUBBER KNIFE 54-2038, 
GERRICK GRIMM 50-3530, SRAN3E 28-4382, and RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
NIANIA(2)            1  0 0  LYRATILAN(25)        1  0 0  FRATSFA(52)          1  0 0  
JHELUM(4)            1  0 0  CALEAM(26)           1  0 0  TROCAR(54)           1  2 0  
KALTOS(5)            2  0 0  MORYA(28)            1  6 0  ANDOR(57)            0  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  2 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  0 0  ARADI(60)            0  1 0  
ARKERS(8)            1  1 0  MURSKA(35)           0  1 0  FIREHOLD(68)         1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       1  0 0  SIBIKHAS(37)         0  1 0  KYR'TERR(71)         4  2 0  
DULLENS(13)          0  1 0  KRILL(44)            0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          2  0 0  
TOBIR(14)            1  0 0  NORTH FORK(47)       3  2 0  LIN TIRIAN(78)       1  0 0  
ALJAFIR(17)          1  0 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        0  2 0  DWES EG(82)          0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           3  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MORTICIAN 2-3890            87  20  1  374  DARK TOADS (1185)          NIANIA
 ABHORRENCE 4-5568           19   8  2  161  GLOOM AND DOOM (1151)      JHELUM
 NEWT GINGRICH 5-3399        92  32  0  231  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 MAD CAT 7-2965              59  42  6  210  INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR
 ZIT 8-4385                  30   3  0  184  Z GLADIATORZ (1128)        ARKERS
 LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373       18  13  0  164  CONSORTIUM CRAP (1248)     ARUAK CITY
 AVONSIDE 13-3927            38  53  1  207  KIWI CONNECTION (747)      DULLENS
 DUNEDIN 14-3703             34  54  0  201  OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (808)    TOBIR
 TOTTI 17-5991               18   9  2   88  ITALIAN FOOTBALL (826)     ALJAFIR
 PRIMUS 21-4975              60  16  0  276  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 WHEEL OF FORTUNE 25-2529    54  56  2  219  DUELING FOR DOLLARS (558)  LYRATILAN
 DUTCH TREAT 26-1841        112  37  2  222  WORLDWIDE GORE (35)        CALEAM
 BALDER 28-3778              32  34  3  180  VALHALLA (1102)            MORYA
 PRIVATE ROOM 31-3620        26  13  0  184  MILITARY MAYHEM (37)       CHIMLEVTAL
 PAT 35-2292                 47  50  2  203  COMMON JOE'S (509)         MURSKA
 WEINERMUN 37-2635           62  62  3  209  ALL THE MUN'S MEN (219)    SIBIKHAS
 VENEMOUS PORCUPINE 44-288   89  63  1  210  D.A. REJECTS (38)          KRILL
 JACK VALTRAEDS 47-407      117  71  2  239  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 GERRICK GRIMM 50-3530       20  24  1  133  DRUID'S GROVE (1041)       SNOWBOUND
 RAVISHING REDBUD 52-3197    39  14  0  206  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
 XYCO 54-2899                23  11  3  148  JANIX (1223)               TROCAR
 RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546        24   7  1  181  USELESS TOOLS (1249)       ANDOR
 BLOODBATH 60-704            70  60  2  203  BASKET WEAVING 101 (225)   ARADI
 DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 68-4666    16   6  0  144  BLOOD 4 THE MASSES (1239)  FIREHOLD
 PUPPY ON PATROL 71-1613     21  14  0  169  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
 BLUE BLOOD 73-3657          25  13  1  210  BLACK & BLUE (1090)        ERINIKA
 NECROMANCER 78-2520         20   3  1   92  MAGIC ARTISTS (1218)       LIN TIRIAN
 BLACK FLAG 82--19490        31  18  3  136  TONGUE N CHEEK (1203)      DWES EG

                                  Name-Change-O-Rama

     The summer tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."

                  *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* 

     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of 
September, 2008.  If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please 
contact RSI Customer Service.  The charge for a name change is $1.