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Date   : 08/07/2012    Duedate: 09/03/2012

CRYSALIS ARENA

DM 106    TURN 251

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 SPARF! 54/1139      2592 1252  32 67.4      DARK TOADS 05Q 82/1311
    CRYPTICS 25/150                           4 TALL TALES 59/1335     7    5   0 58.3
    SKI TAOS 23/860                           5 WASTED SCUM 47/1112  113   88   1 56.2
    AVID FANS 45/199                            ORCISH IDIOMS 8/1266
    HANGOVERS 59/955                            UNFIT TO BE ORCS 31/881
    REAL BEER 21/859                          6-DARQUE FORC 71/1345  118  110   1 51.8
    THE BULLS 73/255                          7 500 BPM 77/1260      813  803   8 50.3
    BLOWN AWAY 44/398                           COMMON JOE'S 35/509
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/10                           KIWI CONNECTION 13/747
    KING'S COURT 11/34                          THE FAMILY TREE 73/906
    OPEN SESAME 50/668                          100% NATURAL GROOVE 20/545
    CHAPEL ROCK 59/1108                         BLOOD 4 THE MASSES 68/1239
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/664                         INSP GADGETS MINIONS 7/214
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/476                       8 BLOODGUARD 59/1341     3    3   0 50.0
    ALPHABET SOUP 73/943                      9 VIKINGS 10/1208      165  189   2 46.6
    PRIMATES-R-US 25/963                        SENTINELS 7/1202
    USELESS TOOLS 54/552                        HILLTOP GURUS 38/1282
    WORLDWIDE GORE 26/35                        NOMADIC TRIBE 21/1219
    MILITARY MAYHEM 31/37                       DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/1240
    USELESS TOOLS 57/1249                    10 ARCTIC WAST 45/1256  135  162   1 45.5
    WAY TO GO! II 73/1010                    11 WITLESS WON 39/1052  133  168   0 44.2
    HERE TO PHOENIX 26/871                   12 DOGS OF WAR 71/418    76  125   1 37.8
    CONSORTIUM CRAP 11/1248                     PHANTACITY 28/1252
    CRUEL PET NAMES 40/1117                     BIG BAD BRAWLERS 71/459
    LADIES IN WAITING 8/444                  13 DODGE BULLET 28/867  512  925   5 35.6
    THINGS GEORGE DOES 73/812                   CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/843
    INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/745               14 X-POSSE 72/1093       27   52   2 34.2
    NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1343              15-PYROMANIA 52/32        1    3   0 25.0
  2-PUBLIC ENEM 50/1331    2    1   0 66.7   16 GOTHIC MINI 47/1284    0    4   0  0.0
  3 OLDIES 83/1312       419  211   1 66.5      GOTHIC MINISTRY 106/1346
    CRAZY CREEPS 60/363                      17 VEGAN CANNI 47/1349    1    0   0  100
    FLOWER GIRLS 52/265                      18 THE VIVISECT 62/241    0    2   0  0.0
    MORE PLACES 82/1306                      19 THE EMPIRE 34/809      0    1   0  0.0
    METAL MINCERS 29/276

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

                        6 Months Ago -- The Eastern Deserts

     The battlefield was shrouded in darkness, save for the torches carried by a
number of the soldiers and several magical orbs of light, which circled above lazily
at the command of the wizards.  The engagement had been a short one, as three huge,
lumbering Phase Dragons burst from the nearby caverns and ran straight into the fully
prepared army.  The archers took a savage toll on the beasts before the elite
gladiators charged in to finish the fray.  As the soldiers cleared the massive bodies
from the cavern mouth a small group of hooded men gathered a short distance away.
     "There is no question about it.  These are creatures from the Kaikwok Gate."
said Rillion, thoughtfully stroking his short beard. "I just don't understand how
they are accessing our world again despite the gate being completely sealed."
     Alongside the mage, the manager known as The Greek Guy sharpened a gleaming
battle axe.  "The Dark One said something about a rift or tear.  I'm not really up on
Gate Metaphysics, Rill.  All I know is they're here and they shouldn't be."
     "Managerr said they wouldn't be gone long." Added Rascally Rabbit, looking far
more sinister than his manager name implied, "and that we needed to hold this area
until they got back.  So that's what we need to do."
     One of the scouts shouted a brief warning and the soldiers assumed battle
formation once more.  The three arena managers stepped back behind a shield thrown up
by Rillion and prepared for a second engagement.  Within a moment, a snarling wave of
Jaguar warriors erupted from the cavern, pouring out toward the soldiers.
     The Greek Guy took the point and motioned to the troops.  "Move to engage!  Form
up!  Initiate Shield Wall!  Archers, volley fire!"
     A cloud of enchanted arrows hissed into the night, and then descended to shower
death upon the charging Jaguar warriors.  Scores of the beast men went down under the
fire but it was just a small fraction of their overall numbers.  Within a moment the
first ranks of the jaguars leapt upon the prepared troops, tearing and rending with
their razor sharp talons and fangs.  Despite the massive numbers, the shield wall
held, and the gate beasts seemed to be taking the worst of the exchange.  After a
moment, however, the Jaguar Warriors found some holes in the ranks and burst through,
creating havoc amongst the defenders.
     "Second line-- advance!  First line-- fall back!"
     The first defensive line fell back in an organized retreat, while a second wave
of defenders moved up.  Within a moment, they formed up to from a second defensive
line, while those formerly in the front line moved back to regroup.  At the same
time, another wave of arrows showered from the sky and cut down the confused Jaguar
Warriors.
     "We learned a lot from the first Gate incursion." Rillion commented to RR.  "The
Jaguar Warriors can be a terror one on one, but they don't fight well in organized
battles.  Those enchanted arrows help a lot, too.  One shot, one kill."
     Despite the confident words, the Jaguars were inflicting a savage toll on the
soldiers.  It was true, that the majority of the troops were gladiators and former
gladiators who were now protected by immortality magic, but still if they were
consumed by the Gate monsters, there would be no return.  As the battle raged, it
became clear that there were too many Jaguar warriors for the small army to defeat.
Rillion flicked his staff and sent a fireball into the Jaguar's flank.  It erupted
into a flaming explosion of heat and pressure, sending scores of the beast men
flying.  As he did so, the Rabbit gathered a nearby troop and rushed to cut off a
Jaguar offensive.
     The Greek Guy motioned for the trumpeters to sound the retreat.  "Back up the
hill!  Form defensive units.  Skirmishers forward to slow the advance."
     "This is not going well." Rillion commented as he blasted away a row of Jaguars
with a bolt of lightning.
     As he prepared a second bolt, he noticed a large vortex opening nearby.  A
travelling Gate was being opened.  Which meant either more Jaguars, or...?
     A second small army of heavily armored gladiator-soldiers appeared.  At their 
head rode Managerr, on a white stallion, and the Dark One, on his black gelding.
They motioned and their warriors charged into the Jaguar Warriors flank.  The numbers
now more even, the first army charged down the hill.  Within minutes the Jaguar
forces were destroyed.  Only a handful survived to flee back into the cavern.
     "Good timing."  Rascally Rabbit chuckled, his eyebrow arched, "You couldn't have
arrived just a touch sooner?"
     "It took us a while to scout out the ruins of our old training grounds on the
other side of the Kaikwok Gate." Managerr responded, "We stopped by to gather the
second division, as we thought we might need the manpower.  Apparently we were right.
The other side of the old Gate is completely empty.  They are all gone."
     "Gone?  There were millions of beings on that world.  You're telling me that
they're all gone?"
     The Dark One waved his staff and a vision of the Kaikwok Gate world appeared.
It was decimated.  Forests burned and blasted, temples shattered, riverbeds and lakes
dried up and shriveled.  "As he said.  All gone.  We detected residual magic.  Gate
magic.  I am not certain if it was left from an invader that came, exterminated that
world and enslaved what was left of the population or possibly the denizens of that
world developed Gate travel on its own and departed a dying world.  We have no way of
knowing which is the case."
     The Greek Guy received a message from one of the army runners, read it quickly
and motioned to his fellows.  "The engineers are ready."
     He motioned to a figure high up on the cliffside above the cave.  In a moment, a
thunderous explosion shook the ground.  Instantly a shower of boulders, shards of
stone and dirt rained down, burying the cavern opening under half the mountainside.
     Rillion nodded.  "That will do for this Gate access, but I expect there will be
more."

           Three Months Ago -- The Dark Citadel -- Isle of of the Eye

     The Brotherhood of the Blade sat around the titanic obsidian table where they
often planned and plotted together.  This occasion was more serious, however, than
their usual debates over gladiatorial tactics and battle plans.  They were instead
embroiled in a lengthy discourse regarding the ongoing Gate incursions that had been
detected.
     "Sheila and her mage council can't figure out how to stop it." Managerr noted.
     "Sheila?"  The Greek Guy chuckled, "First name basis now, are we?"
     Managerr smirked at him.  "They can close the Gate opening when they find it,
but then another one opens somewhere else within a few days.  At some point they are
going to get access in a remote area and we won't find it in time.  If they can move
in a large force, it will be next to impossible to beat them back and close the
access.  It will be a mess."
     "And we still have no idea who is behind this and what's going on." Rillion
added.
     "What we do know is that we don't have enough days in the week to keep running
around closing gates and fighting battles.  We're shorthanded.  Zalgor's missing in
action and Caesar is off-world fighting wars of his own.  Without their forces it's
even worse."  Rascally Rabbit shuffled through his roster.  "I've lost 15% of my
personal troops and I know you all have suffered losses as well."
     Managerr agreed.  "We're definitely short on members.  Mad Max and Tig Toad are
retired.  With Zalgor inactive and Caesar battling Picts or whatnot, we are at five
members.  Just barely enough in normal times and way short in these times."
     "We need to recruit some new members." The Greek Guy stated.  "We have a
tournament coming up and can talk to some managers there.  We need to find those who
are like-minded and who would get along with the rest of us, which is not always
easy."
     "Agreed." said the Dark One from beneath his cowl, "We can then announce our new
members.  We need more men and more troops.  I think we all have some candidates in
mind.  First, they must have no other allegiances.  Second, they must have the
martial knowledge we expect from our members.  And, the Greek Guy mentioned, they
have to be able to deal with us."

                        Present Day -- the Isle of the Eye
     One of the arena scribes rushed into the GC headquarters.  "We need 100 runners
to travel to every city in the land.  We're being paid 1,000 gold sovereigns to get
the news out!"
     "What news?"
     "The Brotherhood of the Blade is expanding!!  Here is the announcement!"
              *****                   *****                   *****
     Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  The Brotherhood of the Blade has chosen to add the following
new members to our ranks.  Effective immediately, the following managers have been
offered and have accepted membership to the Brotherhood:
     Bubbaganoosh
     Grimm
     Khisanth

May their successes be great and their victories many under our banner!

     Officially -- Managerr -- Grand High Moose of the Brotrotherhood of the Blade

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): IMA SLAYER of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 346): VENGEANCE of THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 301): UDARN VOYL of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 323): ANDROMEDA of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): FROSTY of FAST FOOD (Madwand, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 304): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): ANASTASIUS of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 252): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYER (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): MORIS NAHR of MIDDLE WAY 21 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 250): MAD CAT of INSP GADGETS MINIONS (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 346): THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 301): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 322): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 304): THE MYRMIDONS (Sigurd Fafnisbane, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): ARENAS III (Kharadmon?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 252): BASH BROS CANDY (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): SUPER STARS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 250): SPARF! et al (Crip, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 300): ASQUITH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 322): CELESTIAL ROSE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 318): SALAD SLAYER of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                   (turn 317): ARTICHOKE ON THIS of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist)
                               SPAWN of FANTASTIC FIVE (?, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 303): THRESHPACK of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 297): SAVAGE SNOWBALL of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Okay, here's the deal.  No one wrote personals.  I had to go out and intimidate
Jorja's crew into doing something.  No one wrote a column.  There WERE challenges and
avoids issued, so the managers of Crysalis were managing.  They just haven't been
TALKING.  Irritating, but... oh, well.

     Point movements:  Uncle Fester up twenty-eight.  (Rock Glas Hut Fun is compared
to a melon.)  Ace Metric down thirty-one, after losing to a standby.
     Most avoided, Tongue N Cheek.  Avoiding them most, Royal Flush
     Most challenged, Chuck Norris.
     Forty-two fights, fifteen challenges, ten standbys.

For assorted reasons, I'm only going to cover the challenge matches today.  Here they
are:
     MIKE TYSON (71-360) (30-13-1,144) of BIG BAD BRAWLERS challenged NUMBSKULL (52-
2948) (17-10-2,179) of OTTO'S PARTS.  Up 35.  MIKE TYSON was viciously subdued by
NUMBSKULL in a 2 minute Challenge fight.  A bold challenge and an unsurprising
result.
     OPASAN (28-4381) (25-23-1,129) of PHANTACITY challenged A.O. HELL (54-2523) (35-
14-2,152) of USELESS TOOLS.  Up 23.  OPASAN was savagely defeated by A.O. HELL in a
popular 2 minute Challenge brawl.  Why was A.O. savage?  Who can guess.
     SAMURAI STRIKER (71-62) (23-30-1,180) of DOGS OF WAR challenged THE LION KING
(47-6360) (28-9-0,208) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 28.  SAMURAI STRIKER was bested by THE
LION KING in a 2 minute Challenge battle.  Lions can be tricky to fight.  You'll
note, by the way, that large as the challenge margin is, none of these fights was
called "uneven."
     A GROUNDSKEEPER (45-1613) (36-32-1,166) of AVID FANS challenged BALDASSARE (7-
6003) (29-24-0,172) of SENTINELS.  Up 6.  A GROUNDSKEEPER was narrowly defeated by
BALDASSARE in a 2 minute Challenge match.  Could it be that the Groundskeeper was
"mowed down"?
     FIGHTER ACE (47-1189) (79-55-6,173) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged SERB SMASHER (71-
1393) (25-24-2,177) of DOGS OF WAR.  Up 4.  FIGHTER ACE overpowered SERB SMASHER in a
popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.  Obviously, he came by the name of "Ace"
honestly.  And there's the difference in visible experience.

     MONKEY BUSINESS (25-4040) (43-19-1,207) of PRIMATES-R-US challenged GABBER
KNIGHT (77-2243) (21-7-0,207) of 500 BPM.  Straight across.  MONKEY BUSINESS was
vanquished by GABBER KNIGHT in a 1 minute Challenge duel.  No monkeying around out
there today!
     TRASH CAN (50-3403) (22-8-4,186) of OPEN SESAME challenged AVONSIDE (13-3927)
(57-67-1,188) of KIWI CONNECTION.  Up 2.  TRASH CAN slimly won victory over AVONSIDE
in a 2 minute gory Challenge duel.  I never thought of a trash can as "slim," but
maybe this is the new trend.  Everything's got to be slim these days.
     STIGMA OF STUPID (31-4948) (41-26-1,198) of UNFIT TO BE ORCS challenged BLACK
JACK SHELACK (47-4850) (40-27-2,219) of ROYAL FLUSH.  Up 21.  STIGMA OF STUPID was
overcome by BLACK JACK SHELACK in a 1 minute Challenge melee.  Yes, well, note the
name of the challenger....
     DARK TOWER (11-1702) (91-59-0,203) of KING'S COURT challenged YOUNG JOAN (28-
3534) (45-65-1,203) of DODGE BULLETS.  Straight across.  DARK TOWER devastated YOUNG
JOAN in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge competition.  Maybe Joan needs to let her hair
grow long so she can climb down from the tower?
     BULL DURHAM (5-4324) (42-22-1,206) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged CHUCK NORRIS (71-
993) (25-20-1,209) of BIG BAD BRAWLERS.  Up 3.  BULL DURHAM vanquished CHUCK NORRIS
in an exciting 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Chuck was most challenged,
remember.
     MONKEY DO (25-4152) (32-20-2,195) of PRIMATES-R-US challenged QUEEN (82-33307)
(22-12-0,197) of DARK TOADS 05Q.  Up 2.  MONKEY DO subdued QUEEN in a crowd pleasing
3 minute Challenge competition.  The second monkey, and this one was more successful.
     PUPPY ON PATROL (71-1613) (26-24-0,188) of DOGS OF WAR challenged TAOS (26-4042)
(32-20-1,202) of HERE TO PHOENIX.  Up 14.  PUPPY ON PATROL was defeated by TAOS in a
2 minute Challenge fight.  Yes, well... the Taos Lightning, you know.  Puppies can't
handle it.
     CANNONBALL (72-5313) (27-33-1,199) of X-POSSE challenged THE REFEREE (45-1091)
(84-52-4,265) of AVID FANS.  Up 66.  CANNONBALL was overpowered by THE REFEREE in a 1
minute mismatched Challenge duel.  That goes beyond bold.
     DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (104-52-3,213) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged THELONIUS (21-
6631) (35-28-2,226) of NOMADIC TRIBE.  Up 13.  DAIRY QUEEN devastated THELONIUS in a
2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Queens are like that.  Always like to win.

For the title:
     SLIPPERY NIPPLE (59-2323) (42-25-1,252) of HANGOVERS challenged MAD CAT (7-2965)
(81-52-6,344) of INSP GADGETS MINIONS.  Up 92, I think.  I don't do math if I can
avoid it, that's for the clerks.  But it looks like 92.  SLIPPERY NIPPLE was
vanquished by MAD CAT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title battle.  And the silent
Cat remains our top warrior.  Congratulations.

                                       Ketchum

THE TOWER GUARDIAN             W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MAD CAT 7-2965               82  52  6  364  INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE REFEREE 45-1091          85  52  4  276  AVID FANS (199)            STORMCROWE
 BEERVAHNA 60-4292            45  36  3  244  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
 TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103       43  18  1  240  WASTED SCUM (1112)         NORTH FORK
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850   41  27  2  232  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 VIKING RAIDER 54-2885        30  10  1  231  SPARF! (1139)              TROCAR
 DISCO QUEEN 47-1992          72  29  2  230  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 GABBER KNIGHT 77-2243        22   7     230  500 BPM (1260)             MAZGOURRAH
 DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685         105  52  3  228  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-TINY TIM 60-6042             34  12  1  225  CRAZY CREEPS (363)         ARADI
 F.O.A.D. 73-442              40  18  2  223  ALPHABET SOUP (943)        ERINIKA
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324           43  22  1  220  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 UZI 44-1701                  39  35  1  220  BLOWN AWAY (398)           KRILL
 LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373        37  22     220  CONSORTIUM CRAP (1248)     ARUAK CITY
-WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167      60  23  1  218  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
 ROTTEN LIVER 52-2902         42  20  1  218  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
 DARK TOWER 11-1702           92  59     214  KING'S COURT (34)          ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 AFRICAN QUEEN 47-6424        30  17     210  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 THE LION KING 47-6360        29   9     210  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 RUBBER KNIFE 54-2038         70  46  1  209  USELESS TOOLS (552)        TROCAR
 HUNTSMAN 7-5837              41  27     209  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 MONKEY DO 25-4152            33  20  2  209  PRIMATES-R-US (963)        LYRATILAN
 GENERAL PUBLIC 31-3112       34  24  1  207  MILITARY MAYHEM (37)       CHIMLEVTAL
 TAOS 26-4042                 33  20  1  206  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM
 DUTCH TREAT 26-1841         139  40  2  205  WORLDWIDE GORE (35)        CALEAM
 THELONIUS 21-6631            35  29  2  204  NOMADIC TRIBE (1219)       SUNSET
 DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 68-4666     32  26  1  203  BLOOD 4 THE MASSES (1239)  FIREHOLD
 HARI-KARI 73-3049            56  10     202  WAY TO GO! II (1010)       ERINIKA
 RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546         41  11  2  199  USELESS TOOLS (1249)       ANDOR
-MISS ZING 8-824              75  54  3  198  LADIES IN WAITING (444)    ARKERS
 YOUNG JOAN 28-3534           45  66  1  198  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323      42  26  1  198  HANGOVERS (955)            ILLIS
 STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948     41  27  1  198  UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881)     CHIMLEVTAL
-BASE ON BULLS 73-3101        36  14  4  197  THE BULLS (255)            ERINIKA
 CANNONBALL 72-5313           27  34  1  197  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
 BODDINGTON'S 21-5035         31  19     196  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 CHUCK NORRIS 71-993          25  21  1  195  BIG BAD BRAWLERS (459)     KYR'TERR
 QUEEN 82-33307               22  13     195  DARK TOADS 05Q (1311)      DWES EG
 MONKEY BUSINESS 25-4040      43  20  1  194  PRIMATES-R-US (963)        LYRATILAN
 BALLIOL BLACKMOON 81-614     41  29     194  DRAGONBANE GUILD (1240)    SHADOWSPIRE
 TRASH CAN 50-3403            23   8  4  193  OPEN SESAME (668)          SNOWBOUND
-KING FORADAY 47-3762         69  56  4  191  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850      34  12  1  191  VIKINGS (1208)             KOLACT
 PAUL 35-2349                 45  50  2  189  COMMON JOE'S (509)         MURSKA
 PUPPY ON PATROL 71-1613      26  25     189  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
-LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513      40  18  1  188  CHAPEL ROCK (1108)         ILLIS
 FIGHTER ACE 47-1189          80  55  6  187  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 AVONSIDE 13-3927             57  68  1  187  KIWI CONNECTION (747)      DULLENS
 NUMBSKULL 52-2948            18  10  2  187  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
-STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908        60  50  1  186  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708     25  21  1  186  CRUEL PET NAMES (1117)     ZENSU

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-BURGER KING 47-4152          43  39  3  185  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 BULL FROG 73-4547            37  19     185  THE BULLS (255)            ERINIKA
-JIVE 25-624                 108  71  1  184  CRYPTICS (150)             LYRATILAN
 SITS ON HIS DUFF 73-1810     47  30  4  182  THINGS GEORGE DOES (812)   ERINIKA
 ACE FREHLEY 47-3669          20  12     182  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GHOST DANCER 28-3365         51  52     180  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 ACE METRIC 47-3554           33  24     180  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 BALDASSARE 7-6003            30  24     180  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 SAMURAI STRIKER 71-62        23  31  1  180  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
 ADAM'S APPLE 52-3203         34  18     177  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
 GURU GNU 38-4784             19   8     176  HILLTOP GURUS (1282)       CLIFFHOME
 TUNDRA 45-4280               37  37  1  173  ARCTIC WASTES (1256)       STORMCROWE
 AMELIA 28-3417               46  40  1  172  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 SERB SMASHER 71-1393         25  25  2  171  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
 A GROUNDSKEEPER 45-1613      36  33  1  166  AVID FANS (199)            STORMCROWE
-CONFESSION 83-47             49   9  1  161  OLDIES (1312)              TELORINTHE
-SUPER GROVER 50-3413         19   6     158  OPEN SESAME (668)          SNOWBOUND
 A.O. HELL 54-2523            36  14  2  155  USELESS TOOLS (552)        TROCAR
-HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182       46  29  2  154  SKI TAOS (860)             TI

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MIKE TYSON 71-360            30  14  1  150  BIG BAD BRAWLERS (459)     KYR'TERR
 BANDAGED HAND 20-2765        20  17  2  147  100% NATURAL GROOVE (545)  SEAM
-CUBA 26-3917                 35  18     139  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM
 OPASAN 28-4381               25  24  1  136  PHANTACITY (1252)          MORYA
 SCUMMY BOY 73-3371           21  10     136  THE FAMILY TREE (906)      ERINIKA
 TAMMY FAYE 39-3520           30  39     129  WITLESS WONDERS (1052)     XOCHITHLAN
 STYMIE 62-1044               30  31  4  127  THE VIVISECTORS (241)      VALAMANTIS
-BISMUTH BENDER 29-5692       19   1  1  102  METAL MINCERS (276)        LAPUR

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-SECI 28-4464                 25  20  3  100  PHANTACITY (1252)          MORYA
 LORD FOUL 59-1395            17  17  1   93  BLOODGUARD (1341)          ILLIS

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 UNCLE FESTER 59-2768         20  12      89  TALL TALES (1335)          ILLIS
-COWABUNGA! 11-7360           26   9      87  BULLDOGS (174)             ARUAK CITY
 DORSAL FINN 42-1662           9   5  1   85  NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1343) RODEKI
-CHINA 82-35079               15   6      84  MORE PLACES (1306)         DWES EG
 SKI MASK 58-5869             55  98  1   82  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843)    DELARQ TOR
-MESSY MONGREL 71-1896        19  18      78  DOGS OF WAR (418)          KYR'TERR
 ROCK GLAS HUT FUN 8-4851     25  19  3   74  ORCISH IDIOMS (1266)       ARKERS
 BARUS 34-1303                22  27      72  THE EMPIRE (809)           MONUNTIAL
-SAVAGE SNOWBALL 52-4085      20   9  2   71  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
-ASQUITH 39-3843              18   8  1   63  KIWI CONNECTION (1277)     XOCHITHLAN
-ALPHONSO BLACK 7-6108        20   8  1   60  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 GLACIER 58-5887              32  41      59  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843)    DELARQ TOR
-GOOD AS GOLD 16-5965         19   2      59  GOLDEN GLADIATORS (577)    WILLAF
-CRACKER JACKS 83-303         15  12  1   58  OLDIES (1312)              TELORINTHE
 G W BUSH 59-2764             19  13  1   57  TALL TALES (1335)          ILLIS
 ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 47-7226   15   8  1   57  VEGAN CANNIBALS (1349)     NORTH FORK
 SPECTRE 47-5654              14  14  1   46  GOTHIC MINISTRY (1284)     NORTH FORK
-SPAWN 47-4283                11  10      43  FANTASTIC FIVE (1348)      NORTH FORK

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Consortium Elders -- Okay, nobody extra from our place this time.  Too darned much
"real life" going on.  Maybe next time.... -- Jorja

The Rirorni Soldier was embarrassingly easy. -- Glacier

G W Bush -- You HUNTER!  You LIAR!  Your so-called "victory" was just a tall tale! --
Ski Mask, founder and president of Ducks With Swords

Boddington's -- The spilled beer made the floor slippery. -- Ghost Dancer

Monkey Business -- I never did care for monkeys.  They are NOT "cute." -- Amelia

Rubber Knife -- I wish you'd come over to our place.  The spatula we use to spread
chicken salad has died on us, and I think you'd do well. -- Young Joan

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DAIRY QUEEN devastated THELONIUS in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SLIPPERY NIPPLE was vanquished by MAD CAT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title battle.
CANNONBALL was overpowered by THE REFEREE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
PUPPY ON PATROL was defeated by TAOS in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
MONKEY DO subdued QUEEN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge competition.
BULL DURHAM vanquished CHUCK NORRIS in a exciting 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
DARK TOWER devastated YOUNG JOAN in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
STIGMA OF STUPID was overcome by BLACK JACK SHELACK in a 1 minute Challenge melee.
TRASH CAN slimly won victory over AVONSIDE in a 2 minute gory Challenge duel.
MONKEY BUSINESS was vanquished by GABBER KNIGHT in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
FIGHTER ACE overpowered SERB SMASHER in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
A GROUNDSKEEPER was narrowly defeated by BALDASSARE in a 2 minute Challenge match.
SAMURAI STRIKER was bested by THE LION KING in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
OPASAN was savagely defeated by A.O. HELL in a popular 2 minute Challenge brawl.
MIKE TYSON was viciously subdued by NUMBSKULL in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
F.O.A.D. devastated VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
DEVIL'S ADVOCATE was viciously subdued by DISCO QUEEN in a unpopular 43 minute brawl.
BEERVAHNA overpowered THE BLACKSMITH in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided match.
VIKING RAIDER savagely defeated HAGAR BLUETOOTH in a crowd pleasing 3 minute conflict.
ACE METRIC was overpowered by VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a exciting 1 minute uneven fight.
UZI beat GOJIRO in a action packed 2 minute gruesome fray.
TOADKILLER DOG devastated BODDINGTON'S in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
ACE FREHLEY was defeated by RIRORNI COOK in a exciting 3 minute gory duel.
PHILLIP THE BIRD was vanquished by TELGOR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
AFRICAN QUEEN demolished TUNDRA in a action packed 2 minute gruesome one-sided melee.
ROTTEN LIVER overpowered PAUL in a 2 minute one-sided fray.
RUBBER KNIFE overcame AMELIA in a 2 minute duel.
RUBBER KNIFE beat GHOST DANCER in a 2 minute gory fight.
DUTCH TREAT slimly won victory over RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a popular 3 minute fray.
LAND OF FLUSH beat BALLIOL BLACKMOON in a popular 2 minute match.
GENERAL PUBLIC defeated GURU GNU in a exciting 3 minute bout.
BULL FROG was overpowered by AMBER WOLFWALKER in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
HARI-KARI viciously subdued IMPRISONED SPY in a crowd pleasing 5 minute brutal fight.
SITS ON HIS DUFF was subdued by VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a 2 minute struggle.
HUNTSMAN overpowered ADAM'S APPLE in a 2 minute brutal one-sided fray.
BANDAGED HAND demolished STYMIE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
TAMMY FAYE lost to SCUMMY BOY in a popular 6 minute bout.
ROCK GLAS HUT FUN was viciously subdued by UNCLE FESTER in a 2 minute bout.
BARUS was handily defeated by LORD FOUL in a 2 minute gory one-sided duel.
GLACIER was demolished by DORSAL FINN in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SKI MASK devastated G W BUSH in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ARTICHOKE ON THIS! won victory over SPECTRE in a 2 minute conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  19         PARRY-STRIKE      15 -   9 -  0      63  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   13         TOTAL PARRY       27 -  21 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         AIMED BLOW        43 -  37 -  0      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         WALL OF STEEL     65 -  59 -  0      52  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         PARRY-LUNGE       28 -  26 -  0      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         SLASHING ATTACK   44 -  44 -  1      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         LUNGING ATTACK   101 - 102 -  2      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         BASHING ATTACK    24 -  28 -  0      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         STRIKING ATTACK   23 -  31 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE     13 -  21 -  0      38  |

Turn 251 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     9 - 10         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  2     AIMED BLOW         2 -  4         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  7         1  BASHING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      8 -  5                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  5                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   MAD CAT 7-2965             82  52  6  364 INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214)
PARRY-STRIKE     THE REFEREE 45-1091        85  52  4  276 AVID FANS (199)
LUNGING ATTACK   BEERVAHNA 60-4292          45  36  3  244 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)
TOTAL PARRY      TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103     43  18  1  240 WASTED SCUM (1112)
SLASHING ATTACK  VIKING RAIDER 54-2885      30  10  1  231 SPARF! (1139)
PARRY-LUNGE      GABBER KNIGHT 77-2243      22   7  0  230 500 BPM (1260)
WALL OF STEEL    DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685       105  52  3  228 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
AIMED BLOW       UZI 44-1701                39  35  1  220 BLOWN AWAY (398)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    YOUNG JOAN 28-3534         45  66  1  198 DODGE BULLETS (867)
STRIKING ATTACK  STIGMA OF STUPID 31-4948   41  27  1  198 UNFIT TO BE ORCS (881)

The overall popularity leader is MAD CAT 7-2965.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TAMMY FAYE 39-3520.  The ten other most popular fighters were VIKING RAIDER 
54-2885, HARI-KARI 73-3049, GURU GNU 38-4784, NUMBSKULL 52-2948, A.O. HELL 54-2523, 
LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373, SCUMMY BOY 73-3371, UNCLE FESTER 59-2768, MONKEY DO 25-4152, 
and BALDASSARE 7-6003.

The least popular fighter this week was DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 68-4666.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were DISCO QUEEN 47-1992, G W BUSH 59-2764, GLACIER 58-5887, 
BARUS 34-1303, STYMIE 62-1044, ADAM'S APPLE 52-3203, PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708, 
BANDAGED HAND 20-2765, BULL FROG 73-4547, and AMELIA 28-3417.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  MONUNTIAL(34)        0  1 0  ANDOR(57)            1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            3  0 0  MURSKA(35)           0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  1 0  
ARKERS(8)            0  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  ILLIS(59)            2  2 0  
KOLACT(10)           0  1 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       0  1 0  ARADI(60)            1  0 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       2  0 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  VALAMANTIS(62)       0  1 0  
DULLENS(13)          0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           1  0 0  FIREHOLD(68)         0  1 0  
SEAM(20)             1  0 0  KRILL(44)            1  0 0  KYR'TERR(71)         0  5 0  
SUNSET(21)           0  2 0  STORMCROWE(45)       1  2 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       0  1 0  
LYRATILAN(25)        1  1 0  NORTH FORK(47)       8  3 0  ERINIKA(73)          3  2 0  
CALEAM(26)           2  0 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        1  0 0  MAZGOURRAH(77)       1  0 0  
MORYA(28)            0  4 0  FRATSFA(52)          2  1 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      0  1 0  
CHIMLEVTAL(31)       1  1 0  TROCAR(54)           3  0 0  DWES EG(82)          0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324          43  22  1  220  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 MAD CAT 7-2965              82  52  6  364  INSP GADGETS MINIONS (214) BONSUR
 ROCK GLAS HUT FUN 8-4851    25  19  3   74  ORCISH IDIOMS (1266)       ARKERS
 HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850     34  12  1  191  VIKINGS (1208)             KOLACT
 LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373       37  22  0  220  CONSORTIUM CRAP (1248)     ARUAK CITY
 AVONSIDE 13-3927            57  68  1  187  KIWI CONNECTION (747)      DULLENS
 BANDAGED HAND 20-2765       20  17  2  147  100% NATURAL GROOVE (545)  SEAM
 THELONIUS 21-6631           35  29  2  204  NOMADIC TRIBE (1219)       SUNSET
 MONKEY DO 25-4152           33  20  2  209  PRIMATES-R-US (963)        LYRATILAN
 TAOS 26-4042                33  20  1  206  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM
 YOUNG JOAN 28-3534          45  66  1  198  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 GENERAL PUBLIC 31-3112      34  24  1  207  MILITARY MAYHEM (37)       CHIMLEVTAL
 BARUS 34-1303               22  27  0   72  THE EMPIRE (809)           MONUNTIAL
 PAUL 35-2349                45  50  2  189  COMMON JOE'S (509)         MURSKA
 GURU GNU 38-4784            19   8  0  176  HILLTOP GURUS (1282)       CLIFFHOME
 TAMMY FAYE 39-3520          30  39  0  129  WITLESS WONDERS (1052)     XOCHITHLAN
 PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708    25  21  1  186  CRUEL PET NAMES (1117)     ZENSU
 DORSAL FINN 42-1662          9   5  1   85  NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1343) RODEKI
 UZI 44-1701                 39  35  1  220  BLOWN AWAY (398)           KRILL
 THE REFEREE 45-1091         85  52  4  276  AVID FANS (199)            STORMCROWE
 TOADKILLER DOG 47-1103      43  18  1  240  WASTED SCUM (1112)         NORTH FORK
 TRASH CAN 50-3403           23   8  4  193  OPEN SESAME (668)          SNOWBOUND
 ROTTEN LIVER 52-2902        42  20  1  218  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
 VIKING RAIDER 54-2885       30  10  1  231  SPARF! (1139)              TROCAR
 RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546        41  11  2  199  USELESS TOOLS (1249)       ANDOR
 SKI MASK 58-5869            55  98  1   82  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843)    DELARQ TOR
 SLIPPERY NIPPLE 59-2323     42  26  1  198  HANGOVERS (955)            ILLIS
 BEERVAHNA 60-4292           45  36  3  244  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
 STYMIE 62-1044              30  31  4  127  THE VIVISECTORS (241)      VALAMANTIS
 DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 68-4666    32  26  1  203  BLOOD 4 THE MASSES (1239)  FIREHOLD
 CHUCK NORRIS 71-993         25  21  1  195  BIG BAD BRAWLERS (459)     KYR'TERR
 CANNONBALL 72-5313          27  34  1  197  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
 F.O.A.D. 73-442             40  18  2  223  ALPHABET SOUP (943)        ERINIKA
 GABBER KNIGHT 77-2243       22   7  0  230  500 BPM (1260)             MAZGOURRAH
 BALLIOL BLACKMOON 81-614    41  29  0  194  DRAGONBANE GUILD (1240)    SHADOWSPIRE
 QUEEN 82--32229             22  13  0  195  DARK TOADS 05Q (1311)      DWES EG