AD Date : 11/26/2013 Duedate: 12/23/2013 CRYSALIS ARENA DM 106 TURN 268 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 HANGOVERS 59/955 2733 1322 33 67.4 5 TALL TALES 59/1335 27 31 1 46.6 REAL BEER 21/859 6 GWAR 70/1213 78 92 2 45.9 ROYAL FLUSH 47/10 GWAR 77/1215 OPEN SESAME 50/668 D.R.I. 21/1209 CHAPEL ROCK 59/1108 WHO DA MAN? 12/1200 OTTO'S PARTS 52/664 FEAR FACTORY 61/1211 PARTY ANIMALS 5/476 FEAR FACTORY 78/1216 WAY TO GO! II 73/1010 DEADLY RAGE II 72/1214 ITALIAN FOOTBALL 17/826 FEAR FACTORY IV 70/1212 LADIES IN WAITING 8/444 FEAR FACTORY III 82/1217 INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/745 7 VIKINGS 10/1208 216 273 2 44.2 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC 42/1343 SENTINELS 7/1202 2 BULLDOGS 11/174 457 228 1 66.7 HILLTOP GURUS 38/1282 SMITHSONIAN 8/250 NOMADIC TRIBE 21/1219 FLOWER GIRLS 52/265 DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/1240 DARK TOADS 05Q 82/1311 8 WITLESS WON 39/1052 137 181 0 43.1 PROBLEM CAUSERS 84/1368 9 LUROCIAN DE 47/1364 4 6 1 40.0 DARK TOADS JAN26 82/1377 10 CHEERS 47/1375 3 5 0 37.5 3-FAST FOOD 47/1355 140 123 0 53.2 11 DODGE BULLET 28/867 537 985 5 35.3 RANDOM BLADES 50/550 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/843 4 WHO CARES? 34/421 82 93 0 46.9 12 BLOODGUARD 59/1341 8 15 0 34.8 INFINITE ZEROES 44/336 13 X-POSSE 72/1093 37 73 3 33.6 SPACE ACTION 99 72/758 NIGHTHAWKS 71/1153 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! 31/633 TWISTED SISTERS 72/1201 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! 31/874 WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 368): GLOBULIZER of WEIRD ALCHEMY (La Guillotine, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 365): KOROSHIYA ICHI of LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 363): GROM HELLSCREAM of THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 319): GRAPHIC VIOLENCE of FEVER PITCH (Chuck, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 340): THE JANITOR of AVID FANS (Crip, mgr.) DM 47 NORTH FORK (turn 335): DING DONG of LAND OF OZ (Oz, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 322): THE BEATLES of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 315): DARGON of DRAGONS GUARD II (Khisanth, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 300): YAHOO WAHOO of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 293): NAZARETH of CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 269): DIRTY GIRL SCOUT of CORDIALS (Crip, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 269): DON CORNBEEFLEON of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 270): EDMONDS of GASHOUSE GANG (Crip, mgr.) DM 83 TELORINTHE (turn 85): OUT FOR A DUCK of BAD SIGNS (Dark Oracle, mgr.) DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 266): HARI-KARI of WHAT A WAY TO GO! II (Crip, mgr.) Top Teams --------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 367): THE BROKEN CLAN (?, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 365): LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 363): THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 318): DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 340): AVID FANS (Crip, mgr.) DM 47 NORTH FORK (turn 335): BAAL'S MINIONS (Var, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 322): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 315): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.) DM 54 TROCAR (turn 300): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.) DM 59 ILLIS (turn 293): CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.) DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 269): PIZZA TOPPINGS (Warlock, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 269): MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 268): MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 270): GASHOUSE GANG (Crip, mgr.) DM 83 TELORINTHE (turn 85): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.) DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 266): HANGOVERS et al (Crip, mgr.) Recent Graduates ---------------- DM 8 ARKERS (turn 368): GLOBULIZER of WEIRD ALCHEMY (La Guillotine, mgr.) (turn 367): XARGOTH of THE BRETHREN (Godric Magnesson, mgr.) ELDARRAN of THE BRETHREN (Godric Magnesson, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 363): GROM HELLSCREAM of THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.) (turn 362): GENERAL PURPOSE of MILITARY MAYHEM (Crip, mgr.) DM 39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 319): GRAPHIC VIOLENCE of FEVER PITCH (Chuck, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 340): THE JANITOR of AVID FANS (Crip, mgr.) A TALENT SCOUT of AVID FANS (Crip, mgr.) (turn 339): AURORA MARIE of NORTHERN LIGHTS (Jorja, mgr.) DM 47 NORTH FORK (turn 334): PAUL of CHEERS (Otis, mgr.) DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 315): CONFLICT of DRAGONS GUARD II (Khisanth, mgr.) (turn 314): PETULANT PANSY of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.) DM 72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 269): DON CORNBEEFLEON of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 270): CARPENTER of GASHOUSE GANG (Crip, mgr.) DM 83 TELORINTHE (turn 84): STEEL MUSE of NONSUCH HOUSE (Nomad, mgr.) THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM Reflections by the Chief Tower Guard Well this turn should have happened after the ADM split, so I suspect stablemates Slippery Nipple and Miss Zing have gone off to retirement in Primus, but Crip's Crap should also get supplemented by the transfer of Pires and Porky Pig from Home Guard (Okay, I think only Pires will get to see active duty here before May 2014). I would like to thank Mortification for the minor improvement to my overall record. Also of note were the impressive wins by Riddler (taking out Recognition Leader Disco Queen) and Pungent Stench jumping into the #1 Contender spot by killing Bull Durham. Hopefully I'll be able to add a few more comments next turn. Hari-Kari Way To Go! Tower Guardian of Crysalis REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER It's winter. Okay, no snow on the ground yet, what we got last week melted, but when the HIGH temperature is below freezing, it's winter. I was hoping somebody'd figured out how to avoid that. So, on to the fights. Thirty-three fights, seventeen challenges, is this great, or what? Three standbys. Significant point movements: Temptress, up fifty. Not doing things small, the Temptress. Nine Inch Nail, down thirty-nine. Different fights. Most avoided, Fear Factory. Avoiding them the most, Sentinels. If the clerks can be believed. Most challenged, Pungent Stench. Zontani Shapr Eyes claims that Death is a warrior's foremost adviser. But what does he know, eh? HE claims to hear spires calling to him. Anybody ever hear a spire call out? YOSEMITE (8-5231) (19-0-0,57) of SMITHSONIAN fought KAT (71-3531) (18-36-2,32) of NIGHTHAWKS. YOSEMITE was savagely defeated by KAT in an exciting 4 minute gruesome conflict. Not to sound hostile, Yosemite, but it's good you got this loss. Every warrior should have one, even if not advised by Death. ZIGGY WOLFSBANE (21-6432) (24-18-0,80) of NOMADIC TRIBE fought SQUA TRONT (31- 3926) (15-6-0,51) of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U!. ZIGGY WOLFSBANE handily defeated SQUA TRONT in a 1 minute one-sided fight. One-sided, indeed! SKI MASK (58-5869) (64-105-1,71) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought TEMPTRESS (47-6671) (14-11-0,41) of LUROCIAN DEVILS. SKI MASK was murdered by TEMPTRESS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. I can sympathize with Temptress, the Duck is annoying. It was for this that she got fifty points. GLACIER (58-5887) (40-49-0,86) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES fought CROUCHING HAMSTER (21-6184) (27-28-1,53) of D.R.I.. GLACIER was vanquished by CROUCHING HAMSTER in an exciting 1 minute mismatched fight. That's got to be a tad embarrassing for the icy one. G W BUSH (59-2764) (26-22-1,75) of TALL TALES fought GOOGAM (31-3977) (21-12- 1,58) of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U!. G W BUSH was overpowered by GOOGAM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. Good upset, Googam. UNCLE FESTER (59-2768) (27-21-1,79) of TALL TALES fought ALASTARIAN DESERTER (106-1) (0-0-0,30) of the College of Mimes. UNCLE FESTER overpowered ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided bout. I should hope so! KING MIDAS (59-2770) (24-18-1,63) of TALL TALES fought RIRORNI SOLDIER (106-3) (0-0-0,30) of the College of Mimes. KING MIDAS was overpowered by RIRORNI SOLDIER in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. Ah, yes, that's Midas of the leaden touch? NINE INCH NAIL (61-2273) (39-38-4,180) of FEAR FACTORY fought THE COUNT (50- 1860) (22-13-0,106) of OPEN SESAME. NINE INCH NAIL was savagely defeated by THE COUNT in an action packed 2 minute fight. And thus Nine's drop of thirty-nine points. HUNTSMAN (7-5837) (48-35-0,186) of SENTINELS fought REAGANOMICS (21-6182) (27- 15-1,155) of D.R.I.. HUNTSMAN slimly won victory over REAGANOMICS in an exciting 3 minute duel. Only a "slim" victory? Better brush up your skills, Huntsman. CANNONBALL (72-5313) (33-43-2,194) of X-POSSE fought BALDASSARE (7-6003) (35-34- 0,171) of SENTINELS. CANNONBALL was beaten by BALDASSARE in an exciting 3 minute fray. It isn't everyone who can parry a cannonball. KRONOS GRIMHOLT (7-6011) (30-22-1,197) of SENTINELS fought RETROVIRUS (70-6086) (54-38-0,201) of FEAR FACTORY IV. KRONOS GRIMHOLT was viciously subdued by RETROVIRUS in an action packed 2 minute bout. Reason enough, I suspect, for the Sentinel to avoid Fear Factory. MARILYN MANSON (61-1993) (41-33-2,182) of FEAR FACTORY fought HAGAR BLUETOOTH (10-5850) (38-23-1,178) of VIKINGS. MARILYN MANSON viciously subdued HAGAR BLUETOOTH in a popular 8 minute brutal fight. Eight minutes? In weather like this? DISCO QUEEN (47-1992) (79-30-2,202) of ROYAL FLUSH fought COERCE (78-1577) (34- 30-1,202) of FEAR FACTORY. DISCO QUEEN savagely defeated COERCE in an exciting 8 minute gory duel. It's the flashing lights. They'll do it every time. Or most times. RIDDLER (61-1856) (78-61-1,235) of FEAR FACTORY fought AFRICAN QUEEN (47-6424) (35-20-0,204) of ROYAL FLUSH. RIDDLER was viciously subdued by AFRICAN QUEEN in an exciting 3 minute gory bout. She knew the answer. MAYLA TYL CRENA (82-7113) (38-33-0,211) of FEAR FACTORY III fought RIRORNI COOK (106-24) (0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes. MAYLA TYL CRENA savagely defeated RIRORNI COOK in an action packed 4 minute fray. GOOD work, Mayla. That cook was incompetent. BALLIOL BLACKMOON (81-614) (50-35-0,255) of DRAGONBANE GUILD fought PERSEUS (72- 1612) (62-43-1,200) of DEADLY RAGE II. BALLIOL BLACKMOON was overpowered by PERSEUS in an exciting 2 minute uneven fight. Did he use the Gorgon's head, Balliol? Ah, the challenges: GREEN KING (21-5183) (9-2-0,64) of REAL BEER challenged LORD FOUL (59-1395) (22- 28-1,64) of BLOODGUARD. Straight across. GREEN KING overpowered LORD FOUL in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. Good beer. CARLA (47-6225) (19-18-1,63) of CHEERS challenged GITCHIGOOMIE (21-7251) (17-14- 0,84) of NOMADIC TRIBE. Up 21. CARLA was savagely defeated by GITCHIGOOMIE in an exciting 4 minute Challenge bout. First time I've seen tickling claimed as a tactic. BATWAMBA (21-7118) (23-36-0,54) of NOMADIC TRIBE challenged MAD COW DISEASE (11- 7493) (16-3-1,67) of BULLDOGS. Up 13. BATWAMBA was devastated by MAD COW DISEASE in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge fight. It's a bad mad cow. DOUBLE TROUBLE (82-40795) (15-4-1,100) of DARK TOADS JAN26 challenged GHOST DANCER (28-3365) (53-66-0,143) of DODGE BULLETS. Up 43. DOUBLE TROUBLE handily defeated GHOST DANCER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout. Definitely, Ghost should look at retirement. FRASIER (47-6224) (21-17-0,100) of CHEERS challenged YOUNG JOAN (28-3534) (48- 79-1,147) of DODGE BULLETS. Up 47. FRASIER won victory over YOUNG JOAN in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge bout. And Joan, too. R BAGGIO (17-4867) (19-9-1,131) of ITALIAN FOOTBALL challenged MUDVAYNE (61- 3039) (29-26-0,145) of FEAR FACTORY. Up 14. R BAGGIO was narrowly defeated by MUDVAYNE in a 4 minute Challenge conflict. I thought it was Casey who did poorly at Mudvayne? Or was that Mudville? LAR'EH WALKER (60-5825) (18-8-1,168) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH challenged FLATTUS MAXIMUS (77-2125) (53-58-2,171) of GWAR. Up 3. LAR'EH WALKER subdued FLATTUS MAXIMUS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match. Flattened him to the max. DORSAL FINN (42-1662) (13-8-1,162) of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC challenged AMELIA (28- 3417) (49-53-1,173) of DODGE BULLETS. Up 11. DORSAL FINN savagely defeated AMELIA in a 2 minute Challenge competition. Ah, well. Maybe all these people should retire, bring in a whole new crew. GURU GNU (38-4784) (22-14-0,185) of HILLTOP GURUS challenged TAMMY FAYE (39- 3520) (33-52-0,185) of WITLESS WONDERS. Straight across. GURU GNU was beaten by TAMMY FAYE in an exciting 1 minute Challenge fight. But perhaps tammy had some words of wisdom for the Gnu? TRASH CAN (50-3403) (27-12-4,210) of OPEN SESAME challenged MOUCHAM (44-2341) (49-59-0,210) of INFINITE ZEROES. Straight across. TRASH CAN vanquished MOUCHAM in an exciting 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight. Scary trash can! It seems to suck everything in. ROTTEN LIVER (52-2902) (45-24-1,191) of OTTO'S PARTS challenged PROPANE TORCH (61-2524) (42-41-1,192) of FEAR FACTORY. Up 1. ROTTEN LIVER viciously subdued PROPANE TORCH in a popular 4 minute Challenge duel. Try adding onions next time, Propane. THELONIUS (21-6631) (42-36-2,209) of NOMADIC TRIBE challenged ACE FREHLEY (47- 3669) (24-14-0,225) of ROYAL FLUSH. Up 16. THELONIUS was handily defeated by ACE FREHLEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. They don't call him "Ace" for nothing. BULL DURHAM (5-4324) (46-27-1,202) of PARTY ANIMALS challenged MORTIFICATION (61-2333) (54-49-4,203) of FEAR FACTORY. Up 1. BULL DURHAM vanquished MORTIFICATION in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. Yes... that's what I'd expect of a bull. No mortification. KNUCKLE JAW (77-2129) (52-58-2,187) of GWAR challenged LONDON QUIREBOY (59-2513) (44-22-1,192) of CHAPEL ROCK. Up 5. KNUCKLE JAW was defeated by LONDON QUIREBOY in a 4 minute Challenge match. Make that Glass Jaw. THE LION KING (47-6360) (33-12-0,211) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged 3 FISTED RAT BOY (70-6130) (47-56-3,257) of GWAR. Up lots. Make that... 46. THE LION KING was overpowered by 3 FISTED RAT BOY in a 3 minute Challenge duel. Even a king can't meet THREE fists. KIMO (70-6089) (43-48-4,211) of FEAR FACTORY IV challenged WHACKING WILLOW (52- 3167) (68-26-1,217) of FLOWER GIRLS. Up 6. KIMO was vanquished by WHACKING WILLOW in an exciting 3 minute uneven Challenge battle. And Kimo was roundly whacked. For the title: HARI-KARI (73-3049) (63-11-0,308) of WAY TO GO! II challenged PUNGENT STENCH (61-2458) (51-36-2,286) of FEAR FACTORY. Down 22. Not a bad challenge, coming from the top. HARI-KARI was bested by PUNGENT STENCH in a 3 minute Challenge Title fight. And our congratulations to Pungent Stench. Ketchum THE TOWER GUARDIAN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY PUNGENT STENCH 61-2458 52 36 2 320 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY 3 FISTED RAT BOY 70-6130 48 56 3 281 GWAR (1213) SENTERN ACE FREHLEY 47-3669 25 14 241 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167 69 26 1 230 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA TRASH CAN 50-3403 28 12 4 223 OPEN SESAME (668) SNOWBOUND AFRICAN QUEEN 47-6424 36 20 221 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK PERSEUS 72-1612 63 43 1 219 DEADLY RAGE II (1214) DRAGONHEAD BULL DURHAM 5-4324 47 27 1 216 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS MAYLA TYL CRENA 82-7113 39 33 214 FEAR FACTORY III (1217) DWES EG DISCO QUEEN 47-1992 80 30 2 212 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK RETROVIRUS 70-6086 55 38 212 FEAR FACTORY IV (1212) SENTERN GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY COERCE 78-1577 34 31 1 210 FEAR FACTORY (1216) LIN TIRIAN KIMO 70-6089 43 49 4 204 FEAR FACTORY IV (1212) SENTERN HARI-KARI 73-3049 63 12 202 WAY TO GO! II (1010) ERINIKA ROTTEN LIVER 52-2902 46 24 1 201 OTTO'S PARTS (664) FRATSFA RIDDLER 61-1856 78 62 1 200 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 45 22 1 199 CHAPEL ROCK (1108) ILLIS KRONOS GRIMHOLT 7-6011 30 23 1 198 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR MARILYN MANSON 61-1993 42 33 2 197 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE BALLIOL BLACKMOON 81-614 50 36 196 DRAGONBANE GUILD (1240) SHADOWSPIRE MORTIFICATION 61-2333 54 50 4 195 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE MOUCHAM 44-2341 49 60 195 INFINITE ZEROES (336) KRILL PROPANE TORCH 61-2524 42 42 1 195 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE TAMMY FAYE 39-3520 34 52 194 WITLESS WONDERS (1052) XOCHITHLAN THELONIUS 21-6631 42 37 2 193 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET KNUCKLE JAW 77-2129 52 59 2 192 GWAR (1215) MAZGOURRAH HUNTSMAN 7-5837 49 35 192 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR THE LION KING 47-6360 33 13 191 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK BALDASSARE 7-6003 36 34 189 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR -CLEVER 50-2192 56 37 2 185 RANDOM BLADES (550) SNOWBOUND CANNONBALL 72-5313 33 44 2 181 X-POSSE (1093) DRAGONHEAD GURU GNU 38-4784 22 15 181 HILLTOP GURUS (1282) CLIFFHOME GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850 38 24 1 179 VIKINGS (1208) KOLACT LAR'EH WALKER 60-5825 19 8 1 176 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745) ARADI DORSAL FINN 42-1662 14 8 1 176 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1343) RODEKI FLATTUS MAXIMUS 77-2125 53 59 2 167 GWAR (1215) MAZGOURRAH AMELIA 28-3417 49 54 1 165 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA REAGANOMICS 21-6182 27 16 1 163 D.R.I. (1209) SUNSET MUDVAYNE 61-3039 30 26 154 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE THE COUNT 50-1860 23 13 152 OPEN SESAME (668) SNOWBOUND GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY NINE INCH NAIL 61-2273 39 39 4 141 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE -KROGH 31-3841 28 16 1 140 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! (633) CHIMLEVTAL R BAGGIO 17-4867 19 10 1 134 ITALIAN FOOTBALL (826) ALJAFIR GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY DOUBLE TROUBLE 82-40795 16 4 1 133 DARK TOADS JAN26 (1377) DWES EG FRASIER 47-6224 22 17 132 CHEERS (1375) NORTH FORK -VAN CLEVE 34-2628 22 20 3 124 WHO CARES? (421) MONUNTIAL YOUNG JOAN 28-3534 48 80 1 122 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA GHOST DANCER 28-3365 53 67 114 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY TEMPTRESS 47-6671 15 11 1 91 LUROCIAN DEVILS (1364) NORTH FORK GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY ZIGGY WOLFSBANE 21-6432 25 18 88 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET GITCHIGOOMIE 21-7251 18 14 88 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET CROUCHING HAMSTER 21-6184 28 28 1 81 D.R.I. (1209) SUNSET UNCLE FESTER 59-2768 28 21 1 81 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS GOOGAM 31-3977 22 12 1 80 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! (633) CHIMLEVTAL MAD COW DISEASE 11-7493 17 3 1 75 BULLDOGS (174) ARUAK CITY GREEN KING 21-5183 10 2 75 REAL BEER (859) SUNSET -ELDARRAN 8-5402 19 12 2 71 THE BRETHREN (1380) ARKERS -XARGOTH 8-5405 19 13 70 THE BRETHREN (1380) ARKERS CARLA 47-6225 19 19 1 65 CHEERS (1375) NORTH FORK KAT 71-3531 19 36 2 63 NIGHTHAWKS (1153) KYR'TERR G W BUSH 59-2764 26 23 1 60 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS GLACIER 58-5887 40 50 59 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843) DELARQ TOR -PETULANT PANSY 52-4234 18 3 1 58 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA LORD FOUL 59-1395 22 29 1 56 BLOODGUARD (1341) ILLIS -PAUL 47-6861 15 6 2 53 CHEERS (1375) NORTH FORK BATWAMBA 21-7118 23 37 51 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET SQUA TRONT 31-3926 15 7 50 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! (633) CHIMLEVTAL SKI MASK 58-5869 64 106 1 47 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843) DELARQ TOR -MINDQUAKE 72-5861 19 14 46 TWISTED SISTERS (1201) DRAGONHEAD -FROSTY 47-7332 16 8 41 FAST FOOD (1355) NORTH FORK YOSEMITE 8-5231 19 1 39 SMITHSONIAN (250) ARKERS KING MIDAS 59-2770 24 19 1 36 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS -SCOUNDREL 84-7048 7 3 1 30 PROBLEM CAUSERS (1368) BLACKSTONE '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN SKI MASK 58-5869 64 106 1 CIRQUE DU MASQUES 843 TEMPTRESS 47-6671 268 PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE Miss Zing -- You must have been in a hurry to get out of here. I didn't even have a chance to lift my Halberd off the ground. -- Cannibal Corpse Why was it on the ground? What good does it do there? Ski Mask -- Whoever gave me this name is a liar! -- Losing is Fun Green King -- Do you always go around hitting people with sticks? -- Kjarran's Hammer Balliol Blackmoon -- How does a dagger break a morning star? I'm crying foul! My manager shouldn't have bought those weapons from that ogre in the back alley. -- Perseus Perseus -- How was I suppose to know that a guy with a name of Grunk Backstabber is untrustworthy!!!! He seemed legit. -- Var Kronos Grmholt -- So you're the lucky one that got their challenge through. Why does everyone want to fight poor old me? -- Mayla Tyl Crena Mayla -- You're a PS AND you are from Lirth Kai. That makes you an easy target. He'll I'd challenge you if I could find a decent weapon. -- Var Krogh -- You got flattened to the max! Pretty witty, eh? -- Flattus Maximus Rotten Liver -- I must be making the rounds through your manager's lunger ranks. -- 3 Fisted Rat Boy Bull Durham -- You died on the way to the healers? They must have had a hard time rounding people up to carry your big butt there. -- Pungent Stench Retrovirus -- Thanks for the farewell party. -- Slippery Nipple 3 Fisted Rat Boy -- Again, distracted by the extra fist. Is that an unwanted birth defect? -- Rotten Liver Pungent Stench -- Can you say bad challenge? The boss has also never seen a 25 Will warrior die in the infirmary before. -- Bull Durham Your insurance against infirmary deaths had expired. Propane Torch -- Hah! I put a lid on it! -- Trash Can Gitchigoomie -- I gotchyergoomie. -- The Count Cannibal Corpse -- I guess that explains why you couldn't have me over for dinner. -- Miss Zing Riddler -- What a slugfest. Once again, you prove your worthiness on the sands. -- Disco Queen Nine Inch Nail -- You, sir, on the other hand, seem to have a long way to go to be compared to the likes of Perseus and Riddler. -- The Lion King Metron -- Congrats on your first in a while. I guess eventually the MUGS have to shine on you. -- London Quireboy Ghost Dancer -- Sounds like you show off your belly, while I expose my back! -- Dorsal FInn Young Joan -- Young? Where does this young come from? Or is it Young as in Neil Young? -- Lar'Eh Walker Marilyn Manson -- Okay, never a fan of yours, and even less so now. -- R Baggio Kjarran's Hammer -- Thanks for the welcome to Crysalis. -- Green King Ski Mask -- Six Feet of Water? Easy, let me count the feet! One Foot, Two Feet, Hey those are yours, let me cut them off, Three Feet, Four Feet, Five Feet, Six Feet... Six Feet of Water.... Bwa Haa Haa Haa! -- The Count Dorsal Finn -- Not knowing your age, I can't answer that one. -- Joan Onuphre -- Ouch and owie back at you. No chance of me retiring, my record isn't bad enough yet. -- Amelia Dorsal Finn -- You fins like the cold weather, don't you? Or at least you're used to it. I do NOT like freezing. Hard to dance on frozen toes. -- Ghost Dancer Lar'eh Walker -- Ungrateful? No... but maybe you'll be successful, where I was not, in convincing Jorja that it's time and past time for me to retire. -- Joan Lord Foul -- You should not have stood in front of me. We glaciers CAN stop, but not easily or quickly, and we can't turn aside at all. -- Glacier Losing Is Fun -- A good philosophy for a mammal. *I* find winning fun. -- Ski Mask, Founder and President of Ducks with Swords LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS HARI-KARI was bested by PUNGENT STENCH in a 3 minute Challenge Title fight. KIMO was vanquished by WHACKING WILLOW in a exciting 3 minute uneven Challenge battle. THE LION KING was overpowered by 3 FISTED RAT BOY in a 3 minute Challenge duel. KNUCKLE JAW was defeated by LONDON QUIREBOY in a 4 minute Challenge match. BULL DURHAM vanquished MORTIFICATION in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. THELONIUS was handily defeated by ACE FREHLEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight. ROTTEN LIVER viciously subdued PROPANE TORCH in a popular 4 minute Challenge duel. TRASH CAN vanquished MOUCHAM in a exciting 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight. GURU GNU was beaten by TAMMY FAYE in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fight. DORSAL FINN savagely defeated AMELIA in a 2 minute Challenge competition. LAR'EH WALKER subdued FLATTUS MAXIMUS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match. R BAGGIO was narrowly defeated by MUDVAYNE in a 4 minute Challenge conflict. FRASIER won victory over YOUNG JOAN in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge bout. DOUBLE TROUBLE handily defeated GHOST DANCER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout. BATWAMBA was devastated by MAD COW DISEASE in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge fight. CARLA was savagely defeated by GITCHIGOOMIE in a exciting 4 minute Challenge bout. GREEN KING overpowered LORD FOUL in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. BALLIOL BLACKMOON was overpowered by PERSEUS in a exciting 2 minute uneven fight. MAYLA TYL CRENA savagely defeated RIRORNI COOK in a action packed 4 minute fray. RIDDLER was viciously subdued by AFRICAN QUEEN in a exciting 3 minute gory bout. DISCO QUEEN savagely defeated COERCE in a exciting 8 minute gory duel. MARILYN MANSON viciously subdued HAGAR BLUETOOTH in a popular 8 minute brutal fight. KRONOS GRIMHOLT was viciously subdued by RETROVIRUS in a action packed 2 minute bout. CANNONBALL was beaten by BALDASSARE in a exciting 3 minute fray. HUNTSMAN slimly won victory over REAGANOMICS in a exciting 3 minute duel. NINE INCH NAIL was savagely defeated by THE COUNT in a action packed 2 minute fight. KING MIDAS was overpowered by RIRORNI SOLDIER in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. UNCLE FESTER overpowered ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided bout. G W BUSH was overpowered by GOOGAM in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray. GLACIER was vanquished by CROUCHING HAMSTER in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight. SKI MASK was murdered by TEMPTRESS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. ZIGGY WOLFSBANE handily defeated SQUA TRONT in a 1 minute one-sided fight. YOSEMITE was savagely defeated by KAT in a exciting 4 minute gruesome conflict. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 13 TOTAL PARRY 17 - 8 - 1 68 | |WALL OF STEEL 10 PARRY-LUNGE 18 - 11 - 0 62 | |AIMED BLOW 8 AIMED BLOW 46 - 35 - 1 57 | |PARRY-STRIKE 7 PARRY-STRIKE 17 - 13 - 0 57 | |STRIKING ATTACK 6 LUNGING ATTACK 50 - 40 - 0 56 | |TOTAL PARRY 5 STRIKING ATTACK 29 - 28 - 0 51 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 WALL OF STEEL 35 - 43 - 0 45 | |SLASHING ATTACK 4 BASHING ATTACK 14 - 19 - 1 42 | |PARRY-LUNGE 3 SLASHING ATTACK 21 - 32 - 0 40 | |BASHING ATTACK 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 7 - 18 - 0 28 | Turn 268 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: TOTAL PARRY 4 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 4 - 6 4 LUNGING ATTACK PARRY-STRIKE 5 - 2 AIMED BLOW 3 - 5 3 TOTAL PARRY LUNGING ATTACK 9 - 4 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 2 2 PARRY-STRIKE SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 4 1 STRIKING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 3 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 2 1 WALL OF STEEL TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME TOTAL PARRY PUNGENT STENCH 61-2458 52 36 2 320 FEAR FACTORY (1211) STRIKING ATTACK 3 FISTED RAT BOY 70-6130 48 56 3 281 GWAR (1213) LUNGING ATTACK ACE FREHLEY 47-3669 25 14 0 241 ROYAL FLUSH (10) WALL OF STEEL PERSEUS 72-1612 63 43 1 219 DEADLY RAGE II (1214) PARRY-STRIKE MAYLA TYL CRENA 82-7113 39 33 0 214 FEAR FACTORY III (1217) SLASHING ATTACK KIMO 70-6089 43 49 4 204 FEAR FACTORY IV (1212) AIMED BLOW HARI-KARI 73-3049 63 12 0 202 WAY TO GO! II (1010) PARRY-LUNGE MOUCHAM 44-2341 49 60 0 195 INFINITE ZEROES (336) PARRY-RIPOSTE PROPANE TORCH 61-2524 42 42 1 195 FEAR FACTORY (1211) BASHING ATTACK FLATTUS MAXIMUS 77-2125 53 59 2 167 GWAR (1215) The overall popularity leader is DISCO QUEEN 47-1992. The most popular warrior this turn was AFRICAN QUEEN 47-6424. The ten other most popular fighters were KIMO 70-6089, ROTTEN LIVER 52-2902, DISCO QUEEN 47-1992, HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850, KNUCKLE JAW 77-2129, MARILYN MANSON 61-1993, YOUNG JOAN 28-3534, 3 FISTED RAT BOY 70-6130, LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513, and MAYLA TYL CRENA 82-7113. The least popular fighter this week was SKI MASK 58-5869. The other ten least popular fighters were LORD FOUL 59-1395, SQUA TRONT 31-3926, TEMPTRESS 47-6671, GLACIER 58-5887, KING MIDAS 59-2770, NINE INCH NAIL 61-2273, BATWAMBA 21-7118, GHOST DANCER 28-3365, THELONIUS 21-6631, and MORTIFICATION 61-2333. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K KALTOS(5) 1 0 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 1 0 0 JURINE(61) 3 4 0 BONSUR(7) 2 1 0 RODEKI(42) 1 0 0 SENTERN(70) 2 1 0 ARKERS(8) 0 1 0 KRILL(44) 0 1 0 KYR'TERR(71) 1 0 0 KOLACT(10) 0 1 0 NORTH FORK(47) 5 2 1 DRAGONHEAD(72) 1 1 0 ARUAK CITY(11) 1 0 0 SNOWBOUND(50) 2 0 0 ERINIKA(73) 0 1 0 ALJAFIR(17) 0 1 0 FRATSFA(52) 2 0 0 MAZGOURRAH(77) 0 2 0 SUNSET(21) 4 3 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 0 2 0 LIN TIRIAN(78) 0 1 0 MORYA(28) 0 3 0 ILLIS(59) 2 3 0 SHADOWSPIRE(81) 0 1 0 CHIMLEVTAL(31) 1 1 0 ARADI(60) 1 0 0 DWES EG(82) 2 0 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 1 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY BULL DURHAM 5-4324 47 27 1 216 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS KRONOS GRIMHOLT 7-6011 30 23 1 198 SENTINELS (1202) BONSUR YOSEMITE 8-5231 19 1 0 39 SMITHSONIAN (250) ARKERS HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850 38 24 1 179 VIKINGS (1208) KOLACT MAD COW DISEASE 11-7493 17 3 1 75 BULLDOGS (174) ARUAK CITY R BAGGIO 17-4867 19 10 1 134 ITALIAN FOOTBALL (826) ALJAFIR THELONIUS 21-6631 42 37 2 193 NOMADIC TRIBE (1219) SUNSET AMELIA 28-3417 49 54 1 165 DODGE BULLETS (867) MORYA GOOGAM 31-3977 22 12 1 80 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! (633) CHIMLEVTAL GURU GNU 38-4784 22 15 0 181 HILLTOP GURUS (1282) CLIFFHOME TAMMY FAYE 39-3520 34 52 0 194 WITLESS WONDERS (1052) XOCHITHLAN DORSAL FINN 42-1662 14 8 1 176 NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (1343) RODEKI MOUCHAM 44-2341 49 60 0 195 INFINITE ZEROES (336) KRILL ACE FREHLEY 47-3669 25 14 0 241 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK TRASH CAN 50-3403 28 12 4 223 OPEN SESAME (668) SNOWBOUND WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167 69 26 1 230 FLOWER GIRLS (265) FRATSFA GLACIER 58-5887 40 50 0 59 CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843) DELARQ TOR LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513 45 22 1 199 CHAPEL ROCK (1108) ILLIS TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY LAR'EH WALKER 60-5825 19 8 1 176 INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745) ARADI PUNGENT STENCH 61-2458 52 36 2 320 FEAR FACTORY (1211) JURINE 3 FISTED RAT BOY 70-6130 48 56 3 281 GWAR (1213) SENTERN KAT 71-3531 19 36 2 63 NIGHTHAWKS (1153) KYR'TERR PERSEUS 72-1612 63 43 1 219 DEADLY RAGE II (1214) DRAGONHEAD HARI-KARI 73-3049 63 12 0 202 WAY TO GO! II (1010) ERINIKA KNUCKLE JAW 77-2129 52 59 2 192 GWAR (1215) MAZGOURRAH COERCE 78-1577 34 31 1 210 FEAR FACTORY (1216) LIN TIRIAN BALLIOL BLACKMOON 81-614 50 36 0 196 DRAGONBANE GUILD (1240) SHADOWSPIRE MAYLA TYL CRENA 82-7113 39 33 0 214 FEAR FACTORY III (1217) DWES EG NAME CHANGE-O-RAMA There was a line outside the Gladiatorial Commission's registry office. There often was, but surely not now? Alarond the Scribe, who had drawn office duty today, frowned at them. A stocky, fit, moderately handsome gladiator stepped up to the counter. "I want a name-change," he said. "How can I do my best known as," he shuddered, "'Dangling Eyeball'? My name is Joe, and I want to use it." A small and very shapely woman stepped up beside him. "And I am really tired of being known as 'DA Bait'." She smiled, causing Alarond to sway where he stood. "I'd like to be known as... Aphrodite, I think." The others crowded forward, each advancing a claim, the babble of voice rising to a roar, the crowd beginning to look like a mob--and every member of it armed and dangerous. Alarond raised his hands to quiet them, without much success. He raised his voice, too. "We'll do it! A Name-Change-O-Rama, as soon as we can get the paperwork lined up! Two or three months, maybe--" The gladiators howled in protest at the delay. "No, listen! The files here are HUGE, it will take time to get everything straight. You've got to be patient. It WILL happen!" * * * * * Warrior and team name changes will be accepted during the month of January. If you have names you want to change, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI