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Date   : 08/05/2014    Duedate: 09/01/2014

CRYSALIS ARENA

DM 106    TURN 277

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 CANINE CUIS 61/1420   32   10   0 76.2      USELESS TOOLS 54/552
  2 BULLDOGS 11/174      482  231   1 67.6      WORLDWIDE GORE 26/35
    COLORIFIC 48/815                            MILITARY MAYHEM 31/37
    SMITHSONIAN 8/250                           USELESS TOOLS 57/1249
    ATTRIBUTES 82/1390                          WAY TO GO! II 73/1010
    CRAZY CREEPS 60/363                         HERE TO PHOENIX 26/871
    FLOWER GIRLS 52/265                         CONSORTIUM CRAP 11/1248
    METAL MINCERS 29/276                        CRUEL PET NAMES 40/1117
    SAPHIRE DREAM 82/1418                       ITALIAN FOOTBALL 17/826
    PROBLEM CAUSERS 84/1368                     THINGS GEORGE DOES 73/812
    GOLDEN GLADIATORS 16/577                    IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS 7/883
  3 SPARF! 20/873       2803 1382  33 67.0      INGRATE WHITE NORTH 60/745
    SPARF! 54/1139                            4 LUROCIAN DE 47/1364   10    9   1 52.6
    CRYPTICS 25/150                           5 TALL TALES 59/1335    45   43   1 51.1
    SKI TAOS 23/860                           6 VIKINGS 10/1208      243  300   2 44.8
    AVID FANS 45/199                            SENTINELS 7/1202
    REAL BEER 21/859                          7 WITLESS WON 39/1052  137  190   0 41.9
    THE BULLS 73/255                          8 BLOODGUARD 59/1341    13   19   1 40.6
    BLOWN AWAY 44/398                         9 DODGE BULLET 28/867  556 1011   5 35.5
    NOT QUITE 59/1028                           CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/843
    ROYAL FLUSH 47/10                        10 X-FORCE 8/1054        45   87   3 34.1
    KING'S COURT 11/34                          X-POSSE 72/1093
    OPEN SESAME 50/668                          TWISTED SISTERS 72/1201
    CHAPEL ROCK 59/1108                      11-SERPENTS HO 59/1415    1    4   0 20.0
    OTTO'S PARTS 52/664                      12 WAH CHING 52/1359      2    9   0 18.2
    PARTY ANIMALS 5/476                         PUBLIC ENEMY 50/1331
    ALPHABET SOUP 73/943                     13 HORNY GOAT  47/1422    0    2   0  0.0

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 377): CLYDE D'CLUB of PEASANT REBELLION (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 374): TRAVEL of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 638): PITCHFORK of USEFUL WEAPONS (Smithy, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 327): DUCK WITH SWORDS of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 349): LAPUR BISQUE of SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit, mgr)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 344): CASTLE THUNDER of OTTODROME TW (Otto X, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 330): HEART OF GLASS of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 324): MALICE of IRON CATHEDRAL (Dameon Darkheart, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 309): INNUK SHUK of WORLD BLADES 15 (Madwand, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 302): HEATH BAR of SHEWISH MUNCHIES (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 278): JOCK-IN-THE-BOX of SCOTCH (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 278): LONDON BEEFEATER of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 279): F.U.B.A.R. of ALPHABET SOUP (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 94): WHITEY D'EAGLE of NONSUCH HOUSE (Dimetreas, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 276): WHACKING WILLOW of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 377): WEIRD ALCHEMY (La Guillotine, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 374): LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 372): BASH BROS OCEAN (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 327): DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 349): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 344): D.A. REJECTS (Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 330): PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 324): OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 309): USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 302): HANGOVERS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 278): OUTER GODS (Var, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 278): BASH BROS CANDY (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 279): WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 94): NONSUCH HOUSE (Dimetreas, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 276): AGED et al (Methusaleh, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 373): MERCURY of PLANETS (Stargazer, mgr.)
                          POP TARGET of DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 372): DUST MITE of UNFIT TO BE ORCS (slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 349): LAPUR BISQUE of SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit, mgr)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 344): CASTLE THUNDER of OTTODROME TW (Otto X, mgr.)
                               FLESH HUNTER of BAAL'S MINIONS (Var, mgr.)
                   (turn 343): EXPOSED of HORNY GOAT X (Grimm, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 329): NEFARA of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 323): FAT LIP of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 301): I MOTHER EARTH of CHAPEL ROCK (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 278): TOBEORNOTTOBE of TOTAL CHAOS (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 278): LONDON BEEFEATER of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.)
                               FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYER (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 94): WHITEY D'EAGLE of NONSUCH HOUSE (Dimetreas, mgr.)

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                         Reflections by the Chief Tower Guard

     I told you all about my impending retirement and my expected new career as a
consultant last round.  What will I tell you this round?  Very little.  But, I
sneaked a peak at a diary the other day, and I am going to reveal some personal facts
about Boss Consortium.  I really am!
     His favorites...
color -- yellow
sports movie -- Hoosiers
nonsports movie -- The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy
wife -- Sharon (43 years on July 31)
pet -- cats Beatrice and Irvin
food -- meat loaf
snacks -- pretzels (especially Tell City pretzels)
drink -- Tab and Diet Mountain Dew
grandkids -- Max and Clara
    Oops, here he comes now.  Maybe I can report more later.  Anyway, good luck to
all at The Chicago Face.
            Whacking Willow

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Debby Tonte came by and was ready to do the spy report, and I almost let her.
How can you say "no" to someone with a tan like that?  But she needs to save herself
for Free Blades, which takes up way too much of her time.

     So, some news.  Significant point movements:  Young Joan up 25.  Rowdy Yobbo
down 68!  Different fights.
     Most challenged, Whacking Willow, which is as it should be.  Most avoided,
Sentinels by Royal Flush.
     Thirty-eight fights, seven challenges, twenty standbys.  Really, the handicapper
isn't TRYING if he has to use that many standbys.

     NEFARA (50-3785) (15-13-1,51) of PUBLIC ENEMY fought HREIDMAR THE RED (10-6148)
(17-9-0,32) of VIKINGS.  NEFARA was overpowered by HREIDMAR THE RED in a 2 minute
bloody one-sided brawl.  From what I hear, Hreidmar is just as much of a nuisance as
Nefara.
     G W BUSH (59-2764) (31-26-1,83) of TALL TALES fought ALASTARIAN DESERTER (106-1)
(0-0-0,30) of the College of Mimes.  G W BUSH handily defeated ALASTARIAN DESERTER in
a 1 minute mismatched duel.  One loss for the standbys.
     KING MIDAS (59-2770) (29-22-1,64) of TALL TALES fought ALASTARIAN DESERTER (106-
1) (0-0-0,30) of the College of Mimes.  KING MIDAS won victory over ALASTARIAN
DESERTER in an exciting 1 minute struggle.  Oh-two for the standbys.
     YOSEMITE (8-5231) (20-1-0,55) of SMITHSONIAN fought JOHNNY APPLESEED (59-2767)
(22-35-0,85) of TALL TALES.  YOSEMITE savagely defeated JOHNNY APPLESEED in a
monotonous 11 minute gruesome fight.  Probably that geyser popped up and boiled the
trees, yes?
     GREEN KING (21-5183) (13-2-0,100) of REAL BEER fought SKI MASK (58-5869) (66-
112-1,49) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  GREEN KING handily defeated SKI MASK in an action
packed 1 minute mismatched match.  The Duck has never been much for handling beer.
Or anything harder.
     TEMPTRESS (47-6671) (20-14-1,177) of LUROCIAN DEVILS fought JACK KNIFE (47-6694)
(33-18-1,180) of ROYAL FLUSH.  TEMPTRESS vanquished JACK KNIFE in an action packed 1
minute gory one-sided bout.  Too bad, Jack.

     BASE ON BULLS (73-3101) (39-16-4,177) of THE BULLS fought YOUNG JOAN (28-3534)
(52-84-1,168) of DODGE BULLETS.  BASE ON BULLS was subdued by YOUNG JOAN in an
exciting 2 minute conflict.  Who'd've thought Joan would feel so strongly about
bulls?
     PIRES (7-5665) (23-8-0,178) of IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS fought GLACIER (58-5887)
(45-53-0,124) of CIRQUE DU MASQUES.  PIRES overpowered GLACIER in an exciting 1
minute one-sided fray.  Global warming at work.
     DARK TOWER (11-1702) (93-61-0,199) of KING'S COURT fought VILLAINOUS INFORMER
(106-23) (0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes.  DARK TOWER subdued VILLAINOUS INFORMER
in a crowd pleasing 2 minute match.  Standbys oh-three.
     BEERVAHNA (60-4292) (49-37-3,209) of INGRATE WHITE NORTH fought VERMICIOUS KNID
(106-30) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  BEERVAHNA was unbelievably bested by
VERMICIOUS KNID in a popular 3 minute duel.  Oops!  Standbys now one-three.
     RUBBER KNIFE (57-2546) (43-12-2,207) of USELESS TOOLS fought IMPRISONED SPY
(106-9) (0-0-0,170) of the College of Mimes.  RUBBER KNIFE was savagely defeated by
IMPRISONED SPY in an action packed 2 minute bout.  Two-three for the standbys.

     TAOS (26-4042) (37-21-1,190) of HERE TO PHOENIX fought TELGOR (106-27) (0-0-
0,200) of the College of Mimes.  TAOS narrowly defeated TELGOR in a popular 4 minute
brutal fight.  Two-four, standbys.
     PHONELESS CORD (54-2018) (48-36-0,191) of USELESS TOOLS fought HUNTSMAN (7-5837)
(51-40-0,186) of SENTINELS.  PHONELESS CORD handily defeated HUNTSMAN in a 1 minute
one-sided fight.  And the Huntsman can count himself luck not to be strangled.
     ADAM'S APPLE (52-3203) (36-19-0,185) of OTTO'S PARTS fought GOJIRO (106-31) (0-
0-0,220) of the College of Mimes.  ADAM'S APPLE was vanquished by GOJIRO in a popular
2 minute gruesome one-sided bout.  Standbys three-four.
     OSCAR (50-3153) (39-17-0,200) of OPEN SESAME fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106-30) (0-
0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  OSCAR was beaten by VERMICIOUS KNID in a 3 minute
competition.  Standbys four-four.
     THE COUNT (50-1860) (25-14-0,195) of OPEN SESAME fought CLOTTO (106-25) (0-0-
0,181) of the College of Mimes.  THE COUNT lost to CLOTTO in a popular 4 minute
gruesome fray.  Standbys five-four.

     DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (108-54-3,192) of ROYAL FLUSH fought GOJIRO (106-31) (0-0-
0,220) of the College of Mimes.  DAIRY QUEEN was overpowered by GOJIRO in an action
packed 3 minute one-sided bout.  Standbys six-four, and it's a runaway streak!
     PHILLIP THE BIRD (40-3708) (27-22-1,204) of CRUEL PET NAMES fought HAGAR
BLUETOOTH (10-5850) (42-27-1,204) of VIKINGS.  PHILLIP THE BIRD lost to HAGAR
BLUETOOTH in a popular 4 minute gruesome match.  That's what happens when you START
rude, Phillip.
     BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-4850) (43-29-2,207) of ROYAL FLUSH fought ORPHAN (72-
5463) (26-26-2,176) of X-POSSE.  BLACK JACK SHELACK overpowered ORPHAN in a popular 1
minute one-sided match.  But Jack shines like a good boot.
     UZI (44-1701) (39-38-1,183) of BLOWN AWAY fought VILLAINOUS INFORMER (106-23)
(0-0-0,181) of the College of Mimes.  UZI was viciously subdued by VILLAINOUS
INFORMER in an action packed 1 minute duel.  Standbys seven-four.
     KING FORADAY (47-3762) (72-57-4,207) of ROYAL FLUSH fought GOJIRO (106-31) (0-0-
0,220) of the College of Mimes.  KING FORADAY was savagely defeated by GOJIRO in an
exciting 2 minute gory duel.  Standbys eight-four.

     BULL DURHAM (5-4324) (49-28-1,206) of PARTY ANIMALS fought TAMMY FAYE (39-3520)
(34-60-0,159) of WITLESS WONDERS.  BULL DURHAM devastated TAMMY FAYE in a 1 minute
one-sided contest.  Could somebody please give this woman a wit?
     FIGHTER ACE (47-1189) (83-56-6,212) of ROYAL FLUSH fought BALDASSARE (7-6003)
(39-38-0,209) of SENTINELS.  FIGHTER ACE was savagely defeated by BALDASSARE in a
popular 2 minute bloody match.  Aces don't always win.
     THE REFEREE (45-1091) (92-52-4,388) of AVID FANS fought GOJIRO (106-31) (0-0-
0,220) of the College of Mimes.  THE REFEREE was devastated by GOJIRO in an exciting
2 minute brutal one-side fight.  Nine-four, standbys.
     DISCO QUEEN (47-1992) (83-30-2,241) of ROYAL FLUSH fought CLOTTO (106-25) (0-0-
0,181) of the College of Mimes.  DISCO QUEEN viciously subdued CLOTTO in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute bloody bout.  Nine-five, the standbys/
     THE LION KING (47-6360) (36-13-0,218) of ROYAL FLUSH fought RIRORNI CAPTAIN
(106-26) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  THE LION KING was overpowered by
RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 2 minute one-sided duel.  Ten-five standbys.

     ACE OF BASE (47-6905) (30-16-0,221) of ROYAL FLUSH fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106-
30) (0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  ACE OF BASE was beaten by VERMICIOUS KNID
in a crowd pleasing 1 minute conflict.  Standbys eleven-five.
     NUMBSKULL (52-2948) (21-11-2,214) of OTTO'S PARTS fought CRYSALIS GUARD (106-29)
(0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  NUMBSKULL bested CRYSALIS GUARD in an exciting
2 minute bloody battle.  Standbys eleven-six.
     DUTCH TREAT (26-1841) (143-41-2,224) of WORLDWIDE GORE fought CRYSALIS GUARD
(106-29) (0-0-0,200) of the College of Mimes.  DUTCH TREAT overpowered CRYSALIS GUARD
in a crowd pleasing 6 minute one-sided match.  Standbys eleven-seven.  We are not
well guarded here.
     ROWDY YOBBO (20-3429) (52-44-1,248) of SPARF! fought CLOTTO (106-25) (0-0-0,181)
of the College of Mimes.  ROWDY YOBBO was overpowered by CLOTTO in a 1 minute one-
sided melee.  Standbys twelve-seven.
     F.O.A.D. (73-442) (43-19-2,216) of ALPHABET SOUP fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106-30)
(0-0-0,240) of the College of Mimes.  F.O.A.D. was unbelievably bested by VERMICIOUS
KNID in a popular 4 minute gory duel.  And the standbys finish at thirteen-seven.  A
winning round for them.

The challenges:
     MINDQUAKE (72-5861) (20-18-0,44) of TWISTED SISTERS challenged HU YAN ZHUO (52-
849) (20-28-0,49) of WAH CHING.  Up 5.  MINDQUAKE vanquished HU YAN ZHUO in a 1
minute one-sided Challenge duel.  More than his mind was quaking.
     DART (8-4586) (21-14-1,67) of X-FORCE challenged UNCLE FESTER (59-2768) (33-24-
1,69) of TALL TALES.  DART was savagely defeated by UNCLE FESTER in a 2 minute
Challenge melee.  Uncle Fester is a darts hustler.
     A.O. HELL (54-2523) (36-17-2,112) of USELESS TOOLS challenged LORD FOUL (59-
1395) (27-32-2,127) of BLOODGUARD.  Up 15.  A.O. HELL beat LORD FOUL in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute Challenge brawl.  Two of a kind, these two.  In some ways.
     AFRICAN QUEEN (47-6424) (36-22-0,192) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged GHOST DANCER
(28-3365) (57-71-0,196) of DODGE BULLETS.  Up 4.  AFRICAN QUEEN devastated GHOST
DANCER in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.  She danced the ghosts right
back into the ground.
     GENERAL PUBLIC (31-3112) (37-26-1,184) of MILITARY MAYHEM challenged CANNONBALL
(72-5313) (37-48-2,190) of X-POSSE.  Up 6.  GENERAL PUBLIC was devastated by
CANNONBALL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.  Seems appropriate, somehow.
     BURGER KING (47-4152) (44-41-3,190) of ROYAL FLUSH challenged AMELIA (28-3417)
(52-59-1,193) of DODGE BULLETS.  Up 3.  BURGER KING demolished AMELIA in a popular 1
minute one-sided Challenge melee.  The other way around would make more sense.

For the title:
     HARI-KARI (73-3049) (66-12-0,242) of WAY TO GO! II challenged WHACKING WILLOW
(52-3167) (74-26-1,296) of FLOWER GIRLS.  Up 54.  HARI-KARI was bested by WHACKING
WILLOW in a 4 minute Challenge Title fight.  Looks like you're still on top, Willow.
It's, um, the whacking woman's burden.

                                       Ketchum

THE TOWER GUARDIAN             W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167      75  26  1  329  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-TINY TIM 60-6042             38  13  1  260  CRAZY CREEPS (363)         ARADI
 DISCO QUEEN 47-1992          84  30  2  244  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-FIVE GOLDEN RINGS 16-4331    45  15     243  GOLDEN GLADIATORS (577)    WILLAF
 DUTCH TREAT 26-1841         144  41  2  237  WORLDWIDE GORE (35)        CALEAM
 BALDASSARE 7-6003            40  38     231  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 NUMBSKULL 52-2948            22  11  2  222  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
 HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850      43  27  1  215  VIKINGS (1208)             KOLACT
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850   44  29  2  212  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HARI-KARI 73-3049            66  13     210  WAY TO GO! II (1010)       ERINIKA
-TRASH CAN 50-3403            29  14  4  210  OPEN SESAME (668)          SNOWBOUND
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324           50  28  1  208  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 AFRICAN QUEEN 47-6424        37  22     207  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 PHONELESS CORD 54-2018       49  36     206  USELESS TOOLS (552)        TROCAR
-RUBBER KNIFE 54-2038         72  48  1  205  USELESS TOOLS (552)        TROCAR
 BURGER KING 47-4152          45  41  3  205  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 CANNONBALL 72-5313           38  48  2  205  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
-ROTTEN LIVER 52-2902         48  25  1  204  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
-ORANGE CRUSH 48-3809         24  15  1  204  COLORIFIC (815)            CAER
 TAOS 26-4042                 38  21  1  203  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM
 PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708     27  23  1  202  CRUEL PET NAMES (1117)     ZENSU
 DARK TOWER 11-1702           94  61     201  KING'S COURT (34)          ARUAK CITY
-HUNZICKER BOWL 23-4182       50  31  3  198  SKI TAOS (860)             TI
 BEERVAHNA 60-4292            49  38  3  198  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
 F.O.A.D. 73-442              43  20  2  198  ALPHABET SOUP (943)        ERINIKA
-BODDINGTON'S 21-5035         34  20     198  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 TEMPTRESS 47-6671            21  14  1  198  LUROCIAN DEVILS (1364)     NORTH FORK
 FIGHTER ACE 47-1189          83  57  6  197  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 KING FORADAY 47-3762         72  58  4  196  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 OSCAR 50-3153                39  18     196  OPEN SESAME (668)          SNOWBOUND
-ACE FREHLEY 47-3669          26  16     196  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 ACE OF BASE 47-6905          30  17     195  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 YOUNG JOAN 28-3534           53  84  1  193  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 THE REFEREE 45-1091          92  53  4  191  AVID FANS (199)            STORMCROWE
-JIVE 25-624                 112  73  1  190  CRYPTICS (150)             LYRATILAN
-LAND OF FLUSH 11-4373        38  24     190  CONSORTIUM CRAP (1248)     ARUAK CITY

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE LION KING 47-6360        36  14     190  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 59-2110    50  24  2  189  NOT QUITE (1028)           ILLIS
 GHOST DANCER 28-3365         57  72     188  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
-BULL FROG 73-4547            39  21     188  THE BULLS (255)            ERINIKA
 THE COUNT 50-1860            25  15     186  OPEN SESAME (668)          SNOWBOUND
 DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685         108  55  3  185  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-LONDON QUIREBOY 59-2513      46  24  1  183  CHAPEL ROCK (1108)         ILLIS
-VIKING RAIDER 54-2885        32  12  1  183  SPARF! (1139)              TROCAR
 AMELIA 28-3417               52  60  1  182  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546         43  13  2  181  USELESS TOOLS (1249)       ANDOR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429          52  45  1  180  SPARF! (873)               SEAM
 HUNTSMAN 7-5837              51  41     180  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 PIRES 7-5665                 24   8     180  IMPORTED FOOTBALLERS (883) BONSUR
-LAR'EH WALKER 60-5825        20  10  1  180  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
-STEVE MCQUEEN 47-3908        61  53  1  179  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-SITS ON HIS DUFF 73-1810     49  32  4  179  THINGS GEORGE DOES (812)   ERINIKA
 ADAM'S APPLE 52-3203         36  20     179  OTTO'S PARTS (664)         FRATSFA
 UZI 44-1701                  39  39  1  177  BLOWN AWAY (398)           KRILL
 GENERAL PUBLIC 31-3112       37  27  1  176  MILITARY MAYHEM (37)       CHIMLEVTAL
 ORPHAN 72-5463               26  27  2  176  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
-CUBA 26-3917                 39  20     170  HERE TO PHOENIX (871)      CALEAM
 JACK KNIFE 47-6694           33  19  1  170  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
-ACE METRIC 47-3554           34  26     169  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 BASE ON BULLS 73-3101        39  17  4  168  THE BULLS (255)            ERINIKA
 TAMMY FAYE 39-3520           34  61     165  WITLESS WONDERS (1052)     XOCHITHLAN

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-A GROUNDSKEEPER 45-1613      37  35  1  146  AVID FANS (199)            STORMCROWE
 GLACIER 58-5887              45  54     132  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843)    DELARQ TOR
-MAD COW DISEASE 11-7493      21   3  1  132  BULLDOGS (174)             ARUAK CITY
 A.O. HELL 54-2523            37  17  2  126  USELESS TOOLS (552)        TROCAR
 LORD FOUL 59-1395            27  33  2  120  BLOODGUARD (1341)          ILLIS
-R BAGGIO 17-4867             20  12  1  111  ITALIAN FOOTBALL (826)     ALJAFIR
 GREEN KING 21-5183           14   2     102  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-POP TARGET 28-4817           21  32      95  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 G W BUSH 59-2764             32  26  1   85  TALL TALES (1335)          ILLIS
 UNCLE FESTER 59-2768         34  24  1   80  TALL TALES (1335)          ILLIS
-PLUTONIUM PUNCH 29-5669      23   9      77  METAL MINCERS (276)        LAPUR
 YOSEMITE 8-5231              21   1      74  SMITHSONIAN (250)          ARKERS
-BLUE BLOOD 11-7721           22   7      73  COLORIFIC (1050)           ARUAK CITY
 JOHNNY APPLESEED 59-2767     22  36      70  TALL TALES (1335)          ILLIS
 DART 8-4586                  21  15  1   67  X-FORCE (1054)             ARKERS
 KING MIDAS 59-2770           30  22  1   66  TALL TALES (1335)          ILLIS
-DECISIVE 82-19671             7   0      63  ATTRIBUTES (1390)          DWES EG
-LEMON LAMB 11-7722           17   8  1   60  ANIMAL FARM (1095)         ARUAK CITY
-SCOUNDREL 84-7048             8   5  1   58  PROBLEM CAUSERS (1368)     BLACKSTONE
 MINDQUAKE 72-5861            21  18      57  TWISTED SISTERS (1201)     DRAGONHEAD
-MERCURY 28-4974              15  11  1   57  PLANETS (1419)             MORYA
-NICHOLAS 56-4422             15  11  1   57  MEN OF STEEL (1388)        ROCANIS
 SKI MASK 58-5869             66 113  1   55  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843)    DELARQ TOR
-RACK OF LAB 61-3185          16   5  2   55  CANINE CUISINE (1420)      JURINE
 HREIDMAR THE RED 10-6148     18   9      54  VIKINGS (1208)             KOLACT
-ABJURER 78-2534              15   7      52  MAGIC ARTISTS (1218)       LIN TIRIAN
-EXPOSED 47-7595              14   3  2   47  HORNY GOAT X (1422)        NORTH FORK
 HU YAN ZHUO 52-849           20  29      37  WAH CHING (1359)           FRATSFA

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 NEFARA 50-3785               15  14  1   33  PUBLIC ENEMY (1331)        SNOWBOUND

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Well, what an amazing run!  We Consortiumites follow a 6-0 with a 7-2 and go 3-1
against Crip's Crap.  Good stuff!  Good stuff, we say.  Our presence will diminish
now that The Face is upon us.  Good luck to all, especially Crip who will probably
flood Chicago with his immortals. -- The Consortium Elders

Trash Can -- You surely are into weird stuff aren't you?  I loved every minute of it,
Hon. (wink) -- Whacking Willow, TG

Whacking Willow -- For now.  Hopefully I can change that in the future. -- Cannonball

Whacking Willow -- EXCELLENT advice. -- Jorja

Three-two for us today.  Good!  Nothing like a pleasant change. -- Glacier

G W Bush -- Ski Mask is still jumping up and down quacking furiously.  But I think
his problem is the mask.  He can't see out of it or breathe through it because the
holes are in the wrong place.  To which he would probably add that it's a case of
anti-Duck prejudice, since he's stuck with a HUMAN mask.  And then I'd probably say,
why not leave off the mask entirely.  And he'd say it was a matter of principle,
which as a human I didn't understand.  Etc.  Our discussions often go like this. --
Glacier

Mad Cow Disease -- And your manager didn't get a veterinarian to look at you?  Not
that just looking is enough.  Turmeric and coconut oil, that's what you need. --
Glacier
P.S.  Or at least it won't hurt you.

A Groundskeeper -- Next time you want to "keep the grounds," don't lay out a bonfire
around a stake.  That kind of thing makes me DEEPLY suspicious. -- Young Joan

Cuba -- I dunno this "Cuba" place, it's probably down in the Ozarks, along with
Mexico and Paris.  And Peculiar.  No good airports.  Besides, why would I want to go
to Phoenix?  It's hot there.  This is all some put-up deal by the travel agents,
isn't it? -- Amelia

Ace Metric -- Ah, you've doomed yourself with all that metricality.  There's no
poetry in it, and you need the feet of a poet to dance with ghosts. -- Ghost Dancer

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HARI-KARI was bested by WHACKING WILLOW in a 4 minute Challenge Title fight.
BURGER KING demolished AMELIA in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
GENERAL PUBLIC was devastated by CANNONBALL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
AFRICAN QUEEN devastated GHOST DANCER in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
A.O. HELL beat LORD FOUL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge brawl.
DART was savagely defeated by UNCLE FESTER in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
MINDQUAKE vanquished HU YAN ZHUO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
F.O.A.D. was unbelievably bested by VERMICIOUS KNID in a popular 4 minute gory duel.
ROWDY YOBBO was overpowered by CLOTTO in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
DUTCH TREAT overpowered CRYSALIS GUARD in a crowd pleasing 6 minute one-sided match.
NUMBSKULL bested CRYSALIS GUARD in a exciting 2 minute bloody battle.
ACE OF BASE was beaten by VERMICIOUS KNID in a crowd pleasing 1 minute conflict.
THE LION KING was overpowered by RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 2 minute one-sided duel.
DISCO QUEEN viciously subdued CLOTTO in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody bout.
THE REFEREE was devastated by GOJIRO in a exciting 2 minute brutal one-sided fight.
FIGHTER ACE was savagely defeated by BALDASSARE in a popular 2 minute bloody match.
BULL DURHAM devastated TAMMY FAYE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
KING FORADAY was savagely defeated by GOJIRO in a exciting 2 minute gory duel.
UZI was viciously subdued by VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a action packed 1 minute duel.
BLACK JACK SHELACK overpowered ORPHAN in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
PHILLIP THE BIRD lost to HAGAR BLUETOOTH in a popular 4 minute gruesome match.
DAIRY QUEEN was overpowered by GOJIRO in a action packed 3 minute one-sided bout.
THE COUNT lost to CLOTTO in a popular 4 minute gruesome fray.
OSCAR was beaten by VERMICIOUS KNID in a 3 minute competition.
ADAM'S APPLE was vanquished by GOJIRO in a popular 2 minute gruesome one-sided bout.
PHONELESS CORD handily defeated HUNTSMAN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
TAOS narrowly defeated TELGOR in a popular 4 minute brutal fight.
RUBBER KNIFE was savagely defeated by IMPRISONED SPY in a action packed 2 minute bout.
BEERVAHNA was unbelievably bested by VERMICIOUS KNID in a popular 3 minute duel.
DARK TOWER subdued VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute match.
PIRES overpowered GLACIER in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray.
BASE ON BULLS was subdued by YOUNG JOAN in a exciting 2 minute conflict.
TEMPTRESS vanquished JACK KNIFE in a action packed 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
GREEN KING handily defeated SKI MASK in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
YOSEMITE savagely defeated JOHNNY APPLESEED in a monotonous 11 minute gruesome fight.
KING MIDAS won victory over ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a exciting 1 minute struggle.
G W BUSH handily defeated ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
NEFARA was overpowered by HREIDMAR THE RED in a 2 minute bloody one-sided brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         TOTAL PARRY       36 -  10 -  0      78  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         PARRY-STRIKE      27 -  16 -  0      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         LUNGING ATTACK    56 -  44 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         AIMED BLOW        35 -  30 -  1      54  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         PARRY-RIPOSTE     19 -  18 -  0      51  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-LUNGE        9 -   9 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  25 -  0      47  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         WALL OF STEEL     39 -  45 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   15 -  27 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  23 -  0      23  |

Turn 277 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         5 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  6         4  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      3 -  9         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  3                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167    75  26  1  329 FLOWER GIRLS (265)
PARRY-STRIKE     DISCO QUEEN 47-1992        84  30  2  244 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
SLASHING ATTACK  NUMBSKULL 52-2948          22  11  2  222 OTTO'S PARTS (664)
WALL OF STEEL    HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850    43  27  1  215 VIKINGS (1208)
LUNGING ATTACK   BLACK JACK SHELAC 47-4850  44  29  2  212 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
AIMED BLOW       HARI-KARI 73-3049          66  13  0  210 WAY TO GO! II (1010)
BASHING ATTACK   KING FORADAY 47-3762       72  58  4  196 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    YOUNG JOAN 28-3534         53  84  1  193 DODGE BULLETS (867)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  TAMMY FAYE 39-3520         34  61  0  165 WITLESS WONDERS (1052)
PARRY-LUNGE      A.O. HELL 54-2523          37  17  2  126 USELESS TOOLS (552)

The overall popularity leader is THE REFEREE 45-1091.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was THE COUNT 50-1860.  The ten other most popular fighters were F.O.A.D. 
73-442, PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708, UNCLE FESTER 59-2768, DUTCH TREAT 26-1841, TAOS 
26-4042, BEERVAHNA 60-4292, AFRICAN QUEEN 47-6424, DISCO QUEEN 47-1992, YOUNG JOAN 
28-3534, and HARI-KARI 73-3049.

The least popular fighter this week was YOSEMITE 8-5231.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were JOHNNY APPLESEED 59-2767, TAMMY FAYE 39-3520, HU YAN ZHUO 52-849, 
NEFARA 50-3785, SKI MASK 58-5869, JACK KNIFE 47-6694, HUNTSMAN 7-5837, ORPHAN 
72-5463, UZI 44-1701, and ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
KALTOS(5)            1  0 0  MORYA(28)            1  2 0  FRATSFA(52)          2  2 0  
BONSUR(7)            2  1 0  CHIMLEVTAL(31)       0  1 0  TROCAR(54)           2  0 0  
ARKERS(8)            1  1 0  XOCHITHLAN(39)       0  1 0  ANDOR(57)            0  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           2  0 0  ZENSU(40)            0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       0  2 0  
ARUAK CITY(11)       1  0 0  KRILL(44)            0  1 0  ILLIS(59)            3  2 0  
SEAM(20)             0  1 0  STORMCROWE(45)       0  1 0  ARADI(60)            0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           1  0 0  NORTH FORK(47)       5  6 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       2  1 0  
CALEAM(26)           2  0 0  SNOWBOUND(50)        0  3 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  3 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BULL DURHAM 5-4324          50  28  1  208  PARTY ANIMALS (476)        KALTOS
 BALDASSARE 7-6003           40  38  0  231  SENTINELS (1202)           BONSUR
 YOSEMITE 8-5231             21   1  0   74  SMITHSONIAN (250)          ARKERS
 HAGAR BLUETOOTH 10-5850     43  27  1  215  VIKINGS (1208)             KOLACT
 DARK TOWER 11-1702          94  61  0  201  KING'S COURT (34)          ARUAK CITY
 ROWDY YOBBO 20-3429         52  45  1  180  SPARF! (873)               SEAM
 GREEN KING 21-5183          14   2  0  102  REAL BEER (859)            SUNSET
 DUTCH TREAT 26-1841        144  41  2  237  WORLDWIDE GORE (35)        CALEAM
 YOUNG JOAN 28-3534          53  84  1  193  DODGE BULLETS (867)        MORYA
 GENERAL PUBLIC 31-3112      37  27  1  176  MILITARY MAYHEM (37)       CHIMLEVTAL
 TAMMY FAYE 39-3520          34  61  0  165  WITLESS WONDERS (1052)     XOCHITHLAN
 PHILLIP THE BIRD 40-3708    27  23  1  202  CRUEL PET NAMES (1117)     ZENSU
 UZI 44-1701                 39  39  1  177  BLOWN AWAY (398)           KRILL
 THE REFEREE 45-1091         92  53  4  191  AVID FANS (199)            STORMCROWE
 DISCO QUEEN 47-1992         84  30  2  244  ROYAL FLUSH (10)           NORTH FORK
 OSCAR 50-3153               39  18  0  196  OPEN SESAME (668)          SNOWBOUND
 WHACKING WILLOW 52-3167     75  26  1  329  FLOWER GIRLS (265)         FRATSFA
 PHONELESS CORD 54-2018      49  36  0  206  USELESS TOOLS (552)        TROCAR
 RUBBER KNIFE 57-2546        43  13  2  181  USELESS TOOLS (1249)       ANDOR
 GLACIER 58-5887             45  54  0  132  CIRQUE DU MASQUES (843)    DELARQ TOR
 LORD FOUL 59-1395           27  33  2  120  BLOODGUARD (1341)          ILLIS
 BEERVAHNA 60-4292           49  38  3  198  INGRATE WHITE NORTH (745)  ARADI
 CANNONBALL 72-5313          38  48  2  205  X-POSSE (1093)             DRAGONHEAD
 HARI-KARI 73-3049           66  13  0  210  WAY TO GO! II (1010)       ERINIKA

                 NEW TEAMS IN THE TEMPORARY TOURNAMENT ARENA (DM 85)

Please note that all new teams created at the Face-to-Face were temporarily placed in 
a temporary Tournament Arena, DM 85.  If you requested that your team be placed in a 
specific arena, it has already transferred to that arena.  Effective immediately, any 
teams placed in DM 85 and not transferred out to another arena, will be automatically 
deleted a month after the tournament.  If you have questions about any of your teams, 
please contact Customer Service. -- RSI