AD
Date : 02/27/2018 Duedate: 03/26/2018
CRYSALIS ARENA
DM 106 TURN 322
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 TODAY TOO 84/1659 496 235 1 67.9 BOOK OF THOMAS 39/1660
2 AVID FANS 45/199 3407 1728 36 66.3 6 TEAM TOONS 47/1500 32 38 0 45.7
ROYAL FLUSH 47/10 COWBOY CROONERS 72/1535
KING'S COURT 11/34 7 WITLESS WON 39/1052 147 225 0 39.5
PARTY ANIMALS 5/476 8 TALL TALES 59/1335 100 168 2 37.3
WORLDWIDE GORE 26/35 9 OUTLAWS 72/1495 92 191 5 32.5
WAY TO GO! II 73/1010 X-POSSE 72/1093
CALENDAR GIRLS 73/1574 10-PLANETS 28/1419 1 1 0 50.0
3 CSU COLLEGE 45/1630 14 9 0 60.9 WEATHER 52/1656
4 FAST FOOD 47/1355 144 124 0 53.7 11 BB SIDE MIR 72/1658 0 1 0 0.0
5 HOME LIFE 71/1657 129 143 2 47.4
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Hello!
No challenges, no avoids, no deaths, and we're getting spring weather, finally. Yay!
There were sixteen fights today. Something that surprises me, since there really were
no avoids, is that there were seven fights involving stand-ins. Is it possible that,
maybe, no one actually posted avoids but they did, you know, duck into the latrine
when the fight was called and they saw it was with someone they were a little scared
of? Shouldn't their managers tell them off for doing that?
DUTCH TREAT (26-1841) (172-42-2,467) of WORLDWIDE GORE fought G W BUSH (59-2764) (47-
55-2,210) of TALL TALES. DUTCH TREAT devastated G W BUSH in an action packed 1 minute
mismatched Title fight. So of course, Dutch Treat is our Tower Guardian and also the
top Total Parry. Mr. Bush is top Striker.
DARK TOWER (11-1702) (115-67-0,219) of KING'S COURT fought VERMICIOUS KNID (106-30)
(0-0-0,240). DARK TOWER demolished VERMICIOUS KNID in a popular 3 minute gruesome
one-sided melee. Mr. Tower is our top Waste, but oddly, not super popular.
HARI-KARI (73-3049) (87-16-0,225) of WAY TO GO! II fought VILLAINOUS INFORMER (106-23)
(0-0-0,181). HARI-KARI bested VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a popular 3 minute contest.
Hari-Kari is our best Aimed Blow.
BULL DURHAM (5-4324) (69-31-1,253) of PARTY ANIMALS fought HOPALONG CASSIDY (72-7839)
(33-29-0,188) of COWBOY CROONERS. BULL DURHAM overpowered HOPALONG CASSIDY in a 1
minute mismatched match. So Mr. Durham is top Lunger, still, and Hoppy is our top
Parry-Lunge.
THE REFEREE (45-1091) (109-56-4,219) of AVID FANS fought CRYSALIS GUARD (106-29) (0-0-
0,200). THE REFEREE viciously subdued CRYSALIS GUARD in a popular 5 minute bloody
duel. The Ref is top Parry-Strike, overall popularity leader, AND this turn's
favorite. Wow! He should write a column.
KING FORADAY (47-3762) (88-62-4,295) of ROYAL FLUSH fought GOJIRO (106-31) (0-0-
0,220). KING FORADAY was overpowered by GOJIRO in a popular 2 minute mismatched
brawl. King is top Basher, but he was no match for Gojiro.
BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-4850) (60-34-2,202) of ROYAL FLUSH fought ORPHAN (72-5463) (28-
43-2,177) of X-POSSE. BLACK JACK SHELACK vanquished ORPHAN in an action packed 2
minute uneven duel.
TAMMY FAYE (39-3520) (44-95-0,208) of WITLESS WONDERS fought DISCO QUEEN (47-1992)
(98-36-3,209) of ROYAL FLUSH. TAMMY FAYE was overpowered by DISCO QUEEN in a 3 minute
uneven duel.
THE LION KING (47-6360) (52-19-0,202) of ROYAL FLUSH fought RIRORNI CAPTAIN (106-26)
(0-0-0,200). THE LION KING was overpowered by RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 2 minute one-sided
fight.
WEDNESDAY ADDAMS (73-6043) (20-2-0,187) of CALENDAR GIRLS fought CRYSALIS GUARD (106-
29) (0-0-0,200). WEDNESDAY ADDAMS overpowered CRYSALIS GUARD in a 2 minute bloody
one-sided match.
UNCLE FESTER (59-2768) (50-52-1,170) of TALL TALES fought DAIRY QUEEN (47-2685) (124-
60-3,180) of ROYAL FLUSH. UNCLE FESTER was overcome by DAIRY QUEEN in an exciting 1
minute contest. Uncle Fester is our top Slasher.
TUESDAY WELD (73-6047) (23-3-0,136) of CALENDAR GIRLS fought CRYBABY (72-5853) (21-40-
1,109) of OUTLAWS. TUESDAY WELD demolished CRYBABY in a 2 minute one-sided brawl.
NANU NANU (45-5227) (20-7-0,131) of CSU COLLEGE RADIO fought KING MIDAS (59-2770) (43-
53-1,100) of TALL TALES. NANU NANU handily defeated KING MIDAS in an action packed 1
minute one-sided conflict.
JINX (47-7951) (29-27-1,67) of TEAM TOONS fought JOHNNY APPLESEED (59-2767) (33-69-
0,66) of TALL TALES. JINX savagely defeated JOHNNY APPLESEED in an action packed 3
minute gruesome struggle.
WARLOCK (72-6137) (18-27-5,36) of OUTLAWS fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON (106-5) (0-0-0,70).
WARLOCK was overpowered by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute bloody mismatched brawl.
You know... I have been unemployed, but I don't think even then I would have taken a
temp job as a gladiator. Would you?
COPYCAT (72-5854) (24-30-1,90) of OUTLAWS fought SUPERSIZE ME (47-8110) (20-7-2,69) of
FAST FOOD. COPYCAT was overpowered by SUPERSIZE ME in an exciting 1 minute one-sided
bout.
So that's all there is. There were some pretty good fights today. Enjoy the early
spring weather, and we'll meet again next turn.
-- Tobaya Cantrell
THE TOWER GUARDIAN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DUTCH TREAT 26-1841 173 42 2 478 WORLDWIDE GORE (35) CALEAM
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BULL DURHAM 5-4324 70 31 1 263 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS
DARK TOWER 11-1702 116 67 0 232 KING'S COURT (34) ARUAK CITY
THE REFEREE 45-1091 110 56 4 227 AVID FANS (199) STORMCROWE
HARI-KARI 73-3049 88 16 0 227 WAY TO GO! II (1010) ERINIKA
DISCO QUEEN 47-1992 99 36 3 220 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
G W BUSH 59-2764 47 56 2 210 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS
BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850 61 34 2 209 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK
TAMMY FAYE 39-3520 44 96 0 207 WITLESS WONDERS (1052) XOCHITHLAN
WEDNESDAY ADDAMS 73-6043 21 2 0 205 CALENDAR GIRLS (1574) ERINIKA
KING FORADAY 47-3762 88 63 4 193 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK
HOPALONG CASSIDY 72-7839 33 30 0 191 COWBOY CROONERS (1535) DRAGONHEAD
THE LION KING 47-6360 52 20 0 190 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685 125 60 3 182 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
UNCLE FESTER 59-2768 50 53 1 180 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS
ORPHAN 72-5463 28 44 2 180 X-POSSE (1093) DRAGONHEAD
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
TUESDAY WELD 73-6047 24 3 0 140 CALENDAR GIRLS (1574) ERINIKA
NANU NANU 45-5227 21 7 0 134 CSU COLLEGE RADIO (1630) STORMCROWE
-BRANDYWINE BOAR 11-8077 39 11 0 128 ANIMAL FARM (1095) ARUAK CITY
CRYBABY 72-5853 21 41 1 111 OUTLAWS (1495) DRAGONHEAD
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
KING MIDAS 59-2770 43 54 1 100 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS
SUPERSIZE ME 47-8110 21 7 2 91 FAST FOOD (1355) NORTH FORK
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-BART 18-7927 20 15 3 78 SHEPHERDS (1454) TALCAMA
JINX 47-7951 30 27 1 75 TEAM TOONS (1500) NORTH FORK
-NOISY NEIGHBOR 72-7828 23 5 1 75 BASH BROS CONDO (1644) DRAGONHEAD
COPYCAT 72-5854 24 31 1 73 OUTLAWS (1495) DRAGONHEAD
-PROWLER 45-4350 20 10 1 71 PHANTOM REGIMENT (1279) STORMCROWE
-SHIFTED 72-7941 20 10 0 70 BB SIDE MIRROR (1658) DRAGONHEAD
-LEAK 72-7886 20 5 2 67 BASH BROS GAS (1645) DRAGONHEAD
-SLEET 52-4392 19 7 1 67 WEATHER (1656) FRATSFA
JOHNNY APPLESEED 59-2767 33 70 0 62 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS
-BOTTLE ROCKET 39-4157 17 8 2 61 BOOK OF THOMAS (1660) XOCHITHLAN
-COTTON CRAWDAD 11-8176 18 3 0 57 ANIMAL FARM (1095) ARUAK CITY
-MAD COW DISEASE 11-8145 16 5 3 56 BULLDOGS (174) ARUAK CITY
-SEEING RED 11-8189 15 3 2 50 COLORIFIC (1050) ARUAK CITY
-MERCURY 28-4974 15 12 1 50 PLANETS (1419) MORYA
-CHAMPION 84-26012 13 8 1 48 TODAY TOO (1659) BLACKSTONE
WARLOCK 72-6137 18 28 5 35 OUTLAWS (1495) DRAGONHEAD
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
DUTCH TREAT devastated G W BUSH in a action packed 1 minute mismatched Title fight.
DARK TOWER demolished VERMICIOUS KNID in a popular 3 minute gruesome one-sided melee.
HARI-KARI bested VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a popular 3 minute contest.
BULL DURHAM overpowered HOPALONG CASSIDY in a 1 minute mismatched match.
THE REFEREE viciously subdued CRYSALIS GUARD in a popular 5 minute bloody duel.
KING FORADAY was overpowered by GOJIRO in a popular 2 minute mismatched brawl.
BLACK JACK SHELACK vanquished ORPHAN in a action packed 2 minute uneven duel.
TAMMY FAYE was overpowered by DISCO QUEEN in a 3 minute uneven duel.
THE LION KING was overpowered by RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
WEDNESDAY ADDAMS overpowered CRYSALIS GUARD in a 2 minute bloody one-sided match.
UNCLE FESTER was overcome by DAIRY QUEEN in a exciting 1 minute contest.
TUESDAY WELD demolished CRYBABY in a 2 minute one-sided brawl.
NANU NANU handily defeated KING MIDAS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided conflict.
JINX savagely defeated JOHNNY APPLESEED in a action packed 3 minute gruesome struggle.
WARLOCK was overpowered by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute bloody mismatched brawl.
COPYCAT was overpowered by SUPERSIZE ME in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 5 PARRY-STRIKE 25 - 4 - 1 86 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 5 TOTAL PARRY 20 - 8 - 0 71 |
|WALL OF STEEL 3 WALL OF STEEL 37 - 24 - 0 61 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 3 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 9 - 0 59 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 2 LUNGING ATTACK 73 - 51 - 0 59 |
|TOTAL PARRY 2 AIMED BLOW 41 - 33 - 0 55 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 2 BASHING ATTACK 9 - 8 - 0 53 |
|BASHING ATTACK 2 SLASHING ATTACK 27 - 39 - 0 41 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 - 0 33 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 28 - 1 28 |
Turn 322 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 2 2 LUNGING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW 4 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 2 PARRY-STRIKE
WALL OF STEEL 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 AIMED BLOW
LUNGING ATTACK 3 - 2 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 2 2 STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 1 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 2 1 TOTAL PARRY
1 WALL OF STEEL
1 BASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY DUTCH TREAT 26-1841 173 42 2 478 WORLDWIDE GORE (35)
LUNGING ATTACK BULL DURHAM 5-4324 70 31 1 263 PARTY ANIMALS (476)
WALL OF STEEL DARK TOWER 11-1702 116 67 0 232 KING'S COURT (34)
PARRY-STRIKE THE REFEREE 45-1091 110 56 4 227 AVID FANS (199)
AIMED BLOW HARI-KARI 73-3049 88 16 0 227 WAY TO GO! II (1010)
STRIKING ATTACK G W BUSH 59-2764 47 56 2 210 TALL TALES (1335)
BASHING ATTACK KING FORADAY 47-3762 88 63 4 193 ROYAL FLUSH (10)
PARRY-LUNGE HOPALONG CASSIDY 72-7839 33 30 0 191 COWBOY CROONERS (1535)
SLASHING ATTACK UNCLE FESTER 59-2768 50 53 1 180 TALL TALES (1335)
The overall popularity leader is THE REFEREE 45-1091. The most popular warrior this
turn was THE REFEREE 45-1091. The ten other most popular fighters were DARK TOWER
11-1702, JINX 47-7951, KING FORADAY 47-3762, BLACK JACK SHELACK 47-4850, HARI-KARI
73-3049, WEDNESDAY ADDAMS 73-6043, TAMMY FAYE 39-3520, DISCO QUEEN 47-1992, TUESDAY
WELD 73-6047, and NANU NANU 45-5227.
The least popular fighter this week was HOPALONG CASSIDY 72-7839. The other ten
least popular fighters were WARLOCK 72-6137, KING MIDAS 59-2770, THE LION KING
47-6360, ORPHAN 72-5463, COPYCAT 72-5854, JOHNNY APPLESEED 59-2767, CRYBABY 72-5853,
DAIRY QUEEN 47-2685, UNCLE FESTER 59-2768, and G W BUSH 59-2764.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
KALTOS(5) 1 0 0 XOCHITHLAN(39) 0 1 0 ILLIS(59) 0 4 0
ARUAK CITY(11) 1 0 0 STORMCROWE(45) 2 0 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 0 5 0
CALEAM(26) 1 0 0 NORTH FORK(47) 5 2 0 ERINIKA(73) 3 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BULL DURHAM 5-4324 70 31 1 263 PARTY ANIMALS (476) KALTOS
DARK TOWER 11-1702 116 67 0 232 KING'S COURT (34) ARUAK CITY
DUTCH TREAT 26-1841 173 42 2 478 WORLDWIDE GORE (35) CALEAM
TAMMY FAYE 39-3520 44 96 0 207 WITLESS WONDERS (1052) XOCHITHLAN
THE REFEREE 45-1091 110 56 4 227 AVID FANS (199) STORMCROWE
DISCO QUEEN 47-1992 99 36 3 220 ROYAL FLUSH (10) NORTH FORK
G W BUSH 59-2764 47 56 2 210 TALL TALES (1335) ILLIS
HOPALONG CASSIDY 72-7839 33 30 0 191 COWBOY CROONERS (1535) DRAGONHEAD
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HARI-KARI 73-3049 88 16 0 227 WAY TO GO! II (1010) ERINIKA
SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA
We have planned our summer FTF for July 13-15, 2018, in Arlington, Virginia, only 7
miles on a quick Metro ride from Washington, D.C.!. It will be held at the Holiday
Inn Arlington at Ballston. Room rates are $79 per night on 7/12 and 7/15 and $129 on
7/13 and 7/14, 1-2 occupancy. There's free wireless throughout the property as well
as a fitness center, outdoor pool, and business center, as well as a resturant and bar
inside the hotel. There is no airport shuttle and parking is $7/day. The rooms are
blocked -- ask for the Reality Simulations block. Reservations must be made by 6/12.
(As always if you have issues making reservations, please let us know!)
Hotel site: http://www.hiarlington.com
Look for the tournament info sheet and minioverviews some time in June. We hope
you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!
-- RSI
Mission to the Twisted Lands
Episode One
Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride. He was a huge horse, a half-giant's
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his
shoulders and hips. Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant,
Keel Woodhaven. Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently
toward the tree-crowded coast. The distant trees, not just pines, were green. They
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot
springs in it.
Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur. It had a relaxed feel about it, the
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun. And
the booze was excellent, of course. He passed the arena at the edge of town, and
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern. So,
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster? Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful
profession? Then he noticed the team name: Shewish Picnic. He snorted. That
explained it, all right. As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme,
which was present in Home Guard as well. It was sort of funny though. He saw that
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle. Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet,
though.
They passed a small chicken ranch. A rooster uttered an untimely crow. At about
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted. Cussing, Keel hauled on
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently
frightened. He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind
him, looking frustrated. At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted
the horse's sweaty neck. "You're okay now, friend. I'll go take care of those
bozos."
As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some
with swords and some with halberds.
"Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
"Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old
Brown's butt.
"Well damn!" Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
"So have you," the guard continued.
"Yeah, thought so. Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though." Keel
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.
"Who are you guys?"
"We are the Queen's Guard."
"What? Queen Gemra? Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find
the ***holes that shot him."
"Sir, you are mistaken. You will be taken to a doctor. We will arrest the
assailants."
"Hey! I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand. Anyway, they shot my horse. My
HORSE! I'm gonna get 'em." Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of
geese. They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs
and walked the fastest. The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat
Langerman. And you are?"
"Keel Woodhaven."
"I've heard of you! The Queen will want to meet you."
"That's fine. Let's stick to the sides of these buildings. If they're still
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail
which jingled. However, Bonsur had a lively night life. Music and laughter came from
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages. So the sounds the guards made
weren't too noticeable.
Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch. He was thinking that the bad guys
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted. They might have left clues, though.
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and
signed by a notorious crimelord. Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies...
personalized masks. Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers. Anything. Witnesses,
even.
There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch. It was full night
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
"Yup."
"Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there. Keel crouched a
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint
greenish glow. He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little. Keel
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it. He was good at tavern darts,
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky. The little
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof. There was a startled twitch
from the half-seen form. At that instant, Keel lunged across the street. His long
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds. More bolts came out
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to
reload a crossbow. The four men charged, yelling wildly. Tucking his sword under his
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged
it. After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely. The roof sagged,
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it. Keel
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an
alley. Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit. Keel's prisoner started to try to get
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against
the wall.
"Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
"Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
"I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said. "There's a dead one here. I think
there were two more." He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured
arm. "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch. If you could get them for me?"
They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
"What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
Keel shrugged. "No clue. Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."
He listened. "Your guys are coming back."
"Yeah."
The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at
least there were no further injuries. The group of them returned warily to the
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old
Brown's wound. After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee. The medic set
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely
handsome man. Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be
good looking. That didn't mean they weren't competent, though. Brat had done pretty
well.
The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts. They all sat in the main
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair,
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head. "All right," said Brat.
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
"Not on your life, pretty boy!" The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close
together. He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly
handsome Guardsmen.
Keel leaned forward. "You guys shot my horse."
"Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to do that. We were just shooting at you."
"Why?"
"Glowing sword."
"What?"
"Duh, it's a magic sword! We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured
we could sell it so we followed you."
The half-Shew snorted. "The Dentless isn't magic. It was in a Chaos Gate for
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all. All it does, is glow.
And cut things."
The bandit looked chagrined. "But... it's got to be magic."
"Ain't. Sorry kid."
After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace. Queen
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and
luscious curves. She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate. He entertained her with the story of his
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her
appreciation. She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart
belonged to another, always and forever.
* * * * *
This is a continuing adventure.
Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!
NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)
For those of you who keep track of such things, one additional warrior graduated from
regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.
SEVENTH SON (1-9401) MANNEQUIN'S BEST (537)
DOMINATION (32-5232) ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
STARSCREAM (47-7419) DARQUE FORCES (396)
THE BOBSTER (82-1072) ODDITIES (184)
0001 (82-7927) JAN 2001 (1148)
0004 (82-7932) JAN 2001 2 (1149)
LAKES (82-22204) WAY OF THE BLADE ID (3522)
SUPPERMAN (82-48250) HUNGRY HEROES (8107)
GEMS (82-49984) 4 LETTER TREASURE (8402)
JACK MONTGOMERY (84-38004) MEDAL OF HONOR B7 (6651)
SKINNER (84-46102) XCOM BETA (7965)
PEPEROMIA PIZZA (85-2352) ADD SOME FLOWER (435)
WEBBED ZOMBIE (85-4040) MOM 'N DAD ZOMBIES? (735)
Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes