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Date   : 11/22/2011    Duedate: 12/05/2011

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 9

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365   42   28   0 60.0    5 OF WOLF AND  81/343   19   18   1 51.4
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                    6 SEA DOGS 1/300         9    9   0 50.0
  2 DARQUE AGES 81/335    12    8   0 60.0      SEA DOGS 18/309
    DARQUE FORCES 31/318                        DUNGEON CELL 42/347
    DARQUE FORCES 45/348                      7 MID EARTH 29/316      16   17   0 48.5
    IMPROVED ILLUSION 59/349                    YAMA BUSHI 30/317
  3 FUCHI OWNED 81/346     6    4   0 60.0      CLAN LONGBEARD 81/374
  4 END 13/298            21   15   1 58.3    8 VIKINGS 10/355         8   18   0 30.8
    SHEPHERDS 18/359                            SENTINELS 7/354
    NEXT GENERATION 58/368                      NOMADIC TRIBE 21/310
    FOUND IN THE SAND 32/360                    DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334
    GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Champion of the Horn

     The sound you just heard was the sound of my workouts building the biceps into
my devastating new form.  The Grandmaster was merely icing on the cake.  Plus, I have
the endurance to last longer now?  Shouldn't I be able to use that to refute my
girlfriend's suspicion that I'm completely roided out?  Thanks, Anvil, for the good
workout.  Personally, I'd blame your manager for naming you after something people
are supposed to pound on.
     I suspect my newest rating will alert the higher-ups and earn my ticket to
retirement.  It'd be nice to hold the throne until that happens, but with the influx
of talent and skilled... oh, who am I kidding?  Come and get me.  I'll send you
packing.
     While you political types are still debating names for the arena, I thought you
could try some rhymes.  Warm Sock.  Form Stock.  Dorm Frock.  It's a tad harder to
figure out rhymes for Gojiro, but Rirorni rhymes with horny.  Just sayin'.
     I hope you've been keeping track of my pontificous wisdom.  This turn?  Don't
count your chickens before they're hatched, because (1) they're not chickens yet, and
(2) the eggs aren't yours either.

-- Four of Spades

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Okay, let's see what we've got besides a heavy fog.  Which makes it hard to see
much of anything, but that's a different story.  I hear some managers are looking
into getting rid of the old, shopworn standbys and considering better names.  Sounds
good to me.  Did you know that you can also customize the name of the tavern
mentioned in the first paragraph of the golem spy report?  For those occassions when
the golem has to take the spy report, and there always will be such.

     Considering today's business, we have, hmm, Arioch gained the most points after
a win, 57!  That's impressive.  Pinch Blister dropped farthest, 29 points.
     Mid Earth was most avoided, by Dragonbane Guild.
     Dominatrix was most challenged.
     We had a total of seventeen fights, four of them involving standbys.  Only one
challenge.

     ZEVRAN (81-1258) (21-28-1,90) of OF WOLF AND MAN fought CAJETAN (7-6036) (18-13-
1,69) of SENTINELS.  ZEVRAN handily defeated CAJETAN in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
You know, it's those handicappers that pick the random matches--they don't seem to
care about "fair" and just want to see any old match at all.  I don't think there's
anything to do about it except challenge.  I've never heard of 'em being replaced.
     LHISSON (29-5456) (27-24-0,62) of MID EARTH fought AZAGHAL (81-1223) (20-20-
0,81) of DRAGONBANE GUILD.  LHISSON bested AZAGHAL in a 2 minute duel.  So much for
Dragonbane's avoidance, and you can see why they tried it.
     THE HYPHEN-DASH (42-4499) (17-11-1,43) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought FAN ZHEN (81-
1288) (17-10-1,84) of DARQUE AGES.  THE HYPHEN-DASH was overpowered by FAN ZHEN in a
1 minute one-sided duel.  Tell me this is a surprise?  You really gotta wonder about
those handicappers.
     JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (30-9-0,46) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought CAPTURED PIRATE
KING (107-2) (0-0-0,30) of Fine Imported Standbys.  JELLO KNUCKLES was bested by
CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bout.  Embarrassing.
     GAD (18-9239) (28-20-1,93) of SHEPHERDS fought JEHLCH (29-5528) (22-19-2,68) of
MID EARTH.  GAD was handily defeated by JEHLCH in a 2 minute brutal one-sided
contest.  So who's watching the sheep while Gad recovers?

     THE BRIDE (45-4180) (25-10-1,100) of DARQUE FORCES fought 1977 AMC MATADOR (42-
4116) (39-28-0,83) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  THE BRIDE subdued 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 2
minute competition.  They tell me all those tin cans tied to the tail of the Matador
were a distraction, at the least.
     ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (37-28-0,124) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought LAZY LOOKOUT (42-
4504) (31-26-1,101) of DUNGEON CELL.  ALMOST PRETTY was overcome by LAZY LOOKOUT in a
popular 4 minute brutal bout.  Home-town rivalries here?
     PINCH BLISTER (18-9859) (30-21-0,144) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought EVANGELION (59-
2340) (19-17-1,92) of IMPROVED ILLUSION.  PINCH BLISTER was viciously subdued by
EVANGELION in a popular 11 minute brutal fight.  Hmm, no wonder Pinch dropped
seriously.
     HEINRIK (81-1257) (27-24-1,142) of CLAN LONGBEARD fought PLANKTON (18-9748) (27-
26-2,126) of SEA DOGS.  HEINRIK vanquished PLANKTON in a 1 minute uneven fight.
There aren't a lot of meaningless quips a spy reporter can make with "plankton,"
y'know.  Write personals, establish rivalries, carry on a little romance in the
newsletter.
     ARIOCH (81-996) (26-20-2,109) of OF WOLF AND MAN fought VIRGINIA, NO SANTA (65-
6623) (25-12-1,132) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS.  ARIOCH dispatched VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in
an action packed 1 minute duel.  Ouch!  I guess that tells you where Arioch stands on
the "Christmas" question, besides explaining his big rise in recognition.

     GRATH (81-581) (30-14-1,156) of OF WOLF AND MAN fought TING-TING (81-776) (31-
15-0,170) of FUCHI OWNED.  GRATH unbelievably bested TING-TING in a popular 3 minute
gruesome competition.  Actually, as random matches go, this was not bad.  Certainly
not bad enough to make Grath's win "unbelievable."
     FROO-FROO (18-9589) (40-30-3,162) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought RINDEL (29-5346)
(28-21-0,138) of MID EARTH.  FROO-FROO was bested by RINDEL in a 2 minute match.  The
fans always love an underdog win, which this was.  Good going, Rindel.
     SHINY PENNY (32-3789) (58-109-2,179) of FOUND IN THE SAND fought OBROJOBO (7-
5869) (20-18-1,109) of SENTINELS.  SHINY PENNY devastated OBROJOBO in a 1 minute one-
sided duel.  It's the reflections that are tricky.
     MOIST TOWELETTE (42-4430) (48-40-4,216) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought THE BLACKSMITH
(107-22) (0-0-0,181) of Fine Imported Standbys.  MOIST TOWELETTE demolished THE
BLACKSMITH in a crowd pleasing 2 minute uneven fight.  And the Blacksmith went on his
way complaining about rust....
     FOUR OF SPADES (42-4234) (63-40-2,298) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought AMBER WOLFWALKER
(107-11) (0-0-0,220) of Fine Imported Standbys.  FOUR OF SPADES was vanquished by
AMBER WOLFWALKER in a 1 minute uneven battle.  Bad show, Four.  It was this loss that
cost Four of Spades the title, the new Champion taking position on points (see
below).

The lone challenge:
     JOSH (18-9109) (21-6-0,96) of SHEPHERDS challenged DOMINATRIX (81-583) (25-16-
3,116) of OF WOLF AND MAN.  JOSH was bested by DOMINATRIX in a crowd pleasing 2
minute Challenge fight.  Some men just can't resist a forceful woman.

And for the title:
     DELAWARE RUN (42-4400) (75-54-5,249) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought TELGOR (107-27)
(0-0-0,200) of Fine Imported Standbys.  DELAWARE RUN overpowered TELGOR in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided Title fight.  Congratulations, Delaware.

                                       Larkin

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DELAWARE RUN 42-4400         76  54  5  260  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430      49  40  4  224  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FOUR OF SPADES 42-4234       63  41  2  190  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
-ANVIL IRONFIST 81-84         41  20     188  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789          59 109  2  181  FOUND IN THE SAND (360)    ARVAT

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GRATH 81-581                 31  14  1  177  OF WOLF AND MAN (343)      SHADOWSPIRE
 ARIOCH 81-996                27  20  3  166  OF WOLF AND MAN (343)      SHADOWSPIRE
 TING-TING 81-776             31  16     165  FUCHI OWNED (346)          SHADOWSPIRE
 RINDEL 29-5346               29  21     161  MID EARTH (316)            LAPUR

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEINRIK 81-1257              28  24  1  150  CLAN LONGBEARD (374)       SHADOWSPIRE
 FROO-FROO 18-9589            40  31  3  148  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 EVANGELION 59-2340           20  17  1  129  IMPROVED ILLUSION (349)    ILLIS
 DOMINATRIX 81-583            26  16  3  127  OF WOLF AND MAN (343)      SHADOWSPIRE
 LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504         32  26  1  126  DUNGEON CELL (347)         RODEKI
 PLANKTON 18-9748             27  27  2  121  SEA DOGS (309)             TALCAMA
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623   25  13  1  117  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 OBROJOBO 7-5869              20  19  1  117  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859        30  22     115  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496        37  29     112  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 THE BRIDE 45-4180            26  10  1  108  DARQUE FORCES (348)        STORMCROWE

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JOSH 18-9109                 21   7      99  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
 ZEVRAN 81-1258               22  28  1   98  OF WOLF AND MAN (343)      SHADOWSPIRE
 JEHLCH 29-5528               23  19  2   96  MID EARTH (316)            LAPUR

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FAN ZHEN 81-1288             18  10  1   88  DARQUE AGES (335)          SHADOWSPIRE
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116     39  29      86  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 LHISSON 29-5456              28  24      78  MID EARTH (316)            LAPUR
-BOWTIE BOB 81-930            21  10  2   75  FUCHI OWNED (346)          SHADOWSPIRE
 GAD 18-9239                  28  21  1   71  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
 LITTLE BROTHER 73-3375       16  20  1   69  THE FAMILY TREE (358)      ERINIKA
 AZAGHAL 81-1223              20  21      67  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE
 CAJETAN 7-6036               18  14  1   64  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499      17  12  1   45  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       30  10      33  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
VIRGINIA, NO SANT 65-6623 25  13  1 GOT IT FOR CHRISTM 361 ARIOCH 81-996               9

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

All -- Sorry for the inconsistency as of late.  Life has been hitting pretty hard,
but all appears to be calming now.  I also put these 4 warriors on maintenance, so
even if I do get a few more curve balls in the coming months it won't hinder my play
here. -- Master Darque

Azaghal -- Nice challenge!!  Even nicer outcome in my opinion.  I'm curious how
evenly matched we are from a skill perspective.  It was an interesting fight to say
the least and my manager says he enjoyed every brutal minute of it! -- Evangelion

Pinch Blister -- Your style is soooo pre-Labor Day!  Get with the times! -- The Bride

Almost Pretty -- You almost won!  Let us not do that again anytime soon. -- Raggedy
Ann

Lhisson -- Probably shouldn't have won that, but I excel against your style for some
odd reason.  In tournaments of this level, I would be decimated I'm sure.  However,
that isn't going to happen here.  I'm sure there will be other banes to my existence
or non-existence depending on your philosophical inclinations. -- Fan Zhen

Jorja -- Pikers would be nice.  I have one on the sideline waiting to jump in as a
replacement when one of the current crop moves onto Primus.  Not sure how fast they
are going to develop though since I haven't even started training stats for skills
yet with most of these warriors. -- Master Darque

Heinrik -- Hmmm, seems I need to make some changes to beat the likes of you. -- Josh

Cajetan -- Great fight! -- Gad

Arioch -- Assur says I'm too highly ranked, but I keep tellling him that I'm beating
some warriors around me.  I guess he wants me to be too lowly ranked so I beat all
the warriors around me. -- Virginia

Ting-Ting -- The student becomes the master. -- Luc, the identity confused Captain

Moist Towelette -- Nope, nothing has changed.  But you were still the best bet I had
at a win up there. -- Shiny Penny

Suave -- What's a piker?  Do they bash people's heads in?  If so, I can give you lots
of Pikers. -- Assur

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JOSH was bested by DOMINATRIX in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge fight.
FOUR OF SPADES was vanquished by AMBER WOLFWALKER in a 1 minute uneven battle.
MOIST TOWELETTE demolished THE BLACKSMITH in a crowd pleasing 2 minute uneven fight.
DELAWARE RUN overpowered TELGOR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Title fight.
SHINY PENNY devastated OBROJOBO in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
FROO-FROO was bested by RINDEL in a 2 minute match.
GRATH unbelievably bested TING-TING in a popular 3 minute gruesome competition.
ARIOCH dispatched VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in a action packed 1 minute duel.
HEINRIK vanquished PLANKTON in a 1 minute uneven fight.
PINCH BLISTER was viciously subdued by EVANGELION in a popular 11 minute brutal fight.
ALMOST PRETTY was overcome by LAZY LOOKOUT in a popular 4 minute brutal bout.
THE BRIDE subdued 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 2 minute competition.
GAD was handily defeated by JEHLCH in a 2 minute brutal one-sided contest.
JELLO KNUCKLES was bested by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bout.
THE HYPHEN-DASH was overpowered by FAN ZHEN in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
LHISSON bested AZAGHAL in a 2 minute duel.
ZEVRAN handily defeated CAJETAN in a 1 minute mismatched bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK   16 -   9 -  0      64  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         LUNGING ATTACK    32 -  19 -  0      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         BASHING ATTACK    24 -  15 -  1      62  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  11 -  0      59  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         STRIKING ATTACK   14 -  11 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         TOTAL PARRY       12 -  10 -  0      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         PARRY-LUNGE       18 -  23 -  0      44  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         WALL OF STEEL     10 -  20 -  1      33  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         AIMED BLOW         8 -  16 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn   9 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   DELAWARE RUN 42-4400       76  54  5  260 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
STRIKING ATTACK  MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430    49  40  4  224 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
LUNGING ATTACK   FOUR OF SPADES 42-4234     63  41  2  190 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
TOTAL PARRY      GRATH 81-581               31  14  1  177 OF WOLF AND MAN (343)
WALL OF STEEL    ARIOCH 81-996              27  20  3  166 OF WOLF AND MAN (343)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    RINDEL 29-5346             29  21  0  161 MID EARTH (316)
SLASHING ATTACK  FROO-FROO 18-9589          40  31  3  148 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
PARRY-LUNGE      LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504       32  26  1  126 DUNGEON CELL (347)
AIMED BLOW       JOSH 18-9109               21   7  0   99 SHEPHERDS (359)

The overall popularity leader is SHINY PENNY 32-3789.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430.  The ten other most popular fighters were TING-TING 
81-776, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, LAZY LOOKOUT 42-4504, DOMINATRIX 81-583, PINCH BLISTER 
18-9859, EVANGELION 59-2340, THE BRIDE 45-4180, JEHLCH 29-5528, DELAWARE RUN 42-4400, 
and FROO-FROO 18-9589.

The least popular fighter this week was THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were GAD 18-9239, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, PLANKTON 18-9748, 
OBROJOBO 7-5869, FOUR OF SPADES 42-4234, CAJETAN 7-6036, AZAGHAL 81-1223, JELLO 
KNUCKLES 42-4554, ZEVRAN 81-1258, and VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
BONSUR(7)            0  2 0  ARVAT(32)            1  0 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  5 0  RODEKI(42)           3  5 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
LAPUR(29)            3  0 0  STORMCROWE(45)       1  0 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      6  2 1  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OBROJOBO 7-5869             20  19  1  117  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 FROO-FROO 18-9589           40  31  3  148  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 RINDEL 29-5346              29  21  0  161  MID EARTH (316)            LAPUR
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         59 109  2  181  FOUND IN THE SAND (360)    ARVAT

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 DELAWARE RUN 42-4400        76  54  5  260  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 THE BRIDE 45-4180           26  10  1  108  DARQUE FORCES (348)        STORMCROWE
 EVANGELION 59-2340          20  17  1  129  IMPROVED ILLUSION (349)    ILLIS
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623  25  13  1  117  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 LITTLE BROTHER 73-3375      16  20  1   69  THE FAMILY TREE (358)      ERINIKA
 GRATH 81-581                31  14  1  177  OF WOLF AND MAN (343)      SHADOWSPIRE