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Date   : 08/13/2013    Duedate: 08/26/2013

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 54

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  284  187   2 60.3      SAND DANCERS 77/72
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                      SAND DANCERS 78/43
  2 DARQUE AGES 81/335   116  104   3 52.7      SAND DANCERS 46/270
    DARQUE FORCES 31/318                        SAND DANCERS 51/253
    DARQUE FORCES 45/348                        THE MOONDOGS 10/247
    IMPROVED ILLUSION 59/349                    GOLDEN CANYON 26/254
  3-VIKINGS 10/355        77   86   1 47.2      STORM RIDERS II 1/67
    SENTINELS 7/354                             THE ILLUMINATI 37/46
    DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334                     BLOOD + ORANGES 51/47
  4 MID EARTH 29/316      72   84   0 46.2      CIRQUE DU MASQUES 58/251
    YAMA BUSHI 30/317                           BLUVALLEY WARRIORS 46/255
    CLAN LONGBEARD 81/374                       CHAN CHI MONASTERY 53/250
  5 BLUE MOON 9/249     1643 2160  21 43.2      CHAN CHI MONASTERY 65/120
    REFUGEES 65/151                             CHAN CHI MONASTERY 2 65/122
    REFORMERS 64/252                            THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS 19/395
    STORM RIDERS 1/45                         6 END 13/298            94  140   1 40.2
    THE FAMILY 43/248                           SHEPHERDS 18/359
    ILLFANG PACT 1/111                          ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363
    SAND DANCERS 65/78                          FOUND IN THE SAND 32/360
    SAND DANCERS 74/36                          GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361
    SAND DANCERS 75/37                        7 AESIR 3/398            0    2   0  0.0
    SAND DANCERS 76/38

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     So, a sunny and cool day, the finest kind for fighting.  Or several other
occupations that occur to me.
     According to the golems, the biggest point gainer today was Jello Knuckles who
got sixteen points for defeating Ruth.  That seems stingy, but maybe the fact that it
took Jello eight minutes to do it figures in somehow.  Pinch Blister is said to have
dropped the farthest, eleven points, as a result of losing to Pocket News.  Well,
actually, I'm sure Pinch DID drop that far, just... not totally certain it was the
biggest drop.  If you can't trust the golems, you're stuck with doing the math
yourself, and I don't feel inclined on this bright morning.
     Nobody was most avoided--also something the golems have gotten wrong in the
past, but there were actually no avoids posted.  I checked.  The two classic examples
of golem-error in that matter are teams being avoided by the Dark Arena (usually in
Basic arenas) and teams avoiding themselves.
     Evangelion was most challenged, which wasn't difficult since she got the only
challenge.
     Alarond wishes to remind us that blood on a purple robe does not change it from
a purple robe.  He's never tried to clean one!  Not that many people want to wear a
purple robe, it makes most of 'em look liverish.
     We had thirteen fights, one challenge, and four standbys.  I note in passing
that all the standbys fought gladiators from the Darque Ages.
     So.

     COPERNICUS (81-163) (25-13-1,53) of DARQUE AGES fought CAPTURED PIRATE KING
(107-2) (0-0-0,30) of Fine Imported Standbys.  COPERNICUS viciously butchered
CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 2 minute bloody bout.  Talk about not sparing the rod!  Or,
of course, other weapon as desired.
     JOAN OF ARC (81-165) (23-19-0,40) of DARQUE AGES fought R.O.U.S. (107-4) (0-0-
0,50) of Fine Imported Standbys.  JOAN OF ARC was beaten by R.O.U.S. in a crowd
pleasing 3 minute gory conflict.  Some people just can't take rats.  I'm not terribly
fond of them myself, and when they're Rats of Unusual Size, well!  I leave.
     HUGH CAPET (81-690) (26-32-4,51) of DARQUE AGES fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON (107-5)
(0-0-0,70) of Fine Imported Standbys.  HUGH CAPET was subdued by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in
a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.  Why has no one ever employed this person as a
gladiator?
     RUTH (18-10121) (33-24-0,139) of SHEPHERDS fought JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (46-
38-0,147) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  RUTH was demolished by JELLO KNUCKLES in a crowd
pleasing 8 minute mismatched match.  For this, Jello achieved a modest increase in
his ranking.
     PINCH BLISTER (18-9859) (41-55-0,124) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought POCKET NEWS (19-
5364) (19-16-0,121) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS.  PINCH BLISTER was handily defeated by
POCKET NEWS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.  And this resulted in the much more
exprienced Pinch taking a significant drop in the rankings.
     HEINRIK (81-1257) (49-47-1,201) of CLAN LONGBEARD fought 1977 AMC MATADOR (42-
4116) (62-50-0,175) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  HEINRIK vanquished 1977 AMC MATADOR in a
popular 1 minute brutal one-sided duel.  It was the caltrops on the road that did it.

     ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (70-40-0,196) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought THE UPRIGHT MAN
(10-5185) (29-31-0,166) of ALASTARIAN IDOL.  ALMOST PRETTY vanquished THE UPRIGHT MAN
in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.  Not a surprise, because neither one of these
gladiators has hidden tourney fights.  That is something that pleases me a lot.  It
makes things so much more, ah, transparent?  What you see is what you get.
     THE HYPHEN-DASH (42-4499) (40-33-1,186) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VIRGINIA, NO
SANTA (65-6623) (35-48-1,161) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS.  THE HYPHEN-DASH handily
defeated VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in a 1 minute uneven fight.  Hyphen just dashed off a
little victory there.
     MOIST TOWELETTE (42-4430) (87-46-4,309) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought LHISSON (29-
5456) (49-47-0,187) of MID EARTH.  MOIST TOWELETTE overpowered LHISSON in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.  Thus cleaning, thoroughly, Lhisson's clock.
No one likes a dirty dial.
     FAN ZHEN (81-1288) (42-30-2,219) of DARQUE AGES fought ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL
(107-28) (0-0-0,200) of Fine Imported Standbys.  FAN ZHEN overpowered ARENAMASTER
SANDAVOL in a 1 minute mismatched match.  This always tickles me, not that it's a big
deal HERE, but for incoming warriors (which Fan Zhen is not), beating an arenamaster
can be such a rush.
     THE BRIDE (45-4180) (53-27-2,216) of DARQUE FORCES fought JOSH (18-9109) (37-36-
0,193) of SHEPHERDS.  THE BRIDE vanquished JOSH in a popular 1 minute mismatched
brawl.  I guess that means no wedding soon?

The challenge:
     GAD (18-9239) (45-49-1,243) of SHEPHERDS challenged EVANGELION (59-2340) (43-38-
1,190) of IMPROVED ILLUSION.  Down 53.  GAD was viciously subdued by EVANGELION in a
crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fight.  Ouch!  That's got to be seriously
embarrasing.

And for the title:
     FROO-FROO (18-9589) (78-37-4,279) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought SHINY PENNY (32-
3789) (81-132-2,230) of FOUND IN THE SAND.  FROO-FROO demolished SHINY PENNY in a
popular 1 minute one-sided Title melee.  Pennies just don't go as far as they used
to.  Congratulations to Froo-Froo.

                                       Larkin

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 FROO-FROO 18-9589            79  37  4  290  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430      88  46  4  318  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 FAN ZHEN 81-1288             43  30  2  230  DARQUE AGES (335)          SHADOWSPIRE
 THE BRIDE 45-4180            54  27  2  226  DARQUE FORCES (348)        STORMCROWE

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HEINRIK 81-1257              50  47  1  212  CLAN LONGBEARD (374)       SHADOWSPIRE

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 EVANGELION 59-2340           44  38  1  203  IMPROVED ILLUSION (349)    ILLIS
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789          81 133  2  202  FOUND IN THE SAND (360)    ARVAT
-AZAGHAL 81-1223              37  36  1  200  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE
-OBROJOBO 7-5869              36  34  1  200  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496        71  40     199  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 GAD 18-9239                  45  50  1  195  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
 JOSH 18-9109                 37  37     192  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
 LHISSON 29-5456              49  48     191  MID EARTH (316)            LAPUR
 THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499      41  33  1  191  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
-RAGGEDY ANN 45-4148          52  34     190  DARQUE FORCES (348)        STORMCROWE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116     62  51     172  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185      29  32     172  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
-ANZAHANZEK 7-6204            26  15     169  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       47  38     163  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
-CAJETAN 7-6036               25  25  1  160  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623   35  49  1  159  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364          20  16     133  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 RUTH 18-10121                33  25     132  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
-ROSELYN 45-4498              39   7     124  DARQUE FORCES (348)        STORMCROWE
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859        41  56     113  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
-IRONHEAD 81-1722             29  22     109  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-JULIAN OF NORWICH 81-1783    24  21  1   94  DARQUE AGES (335)          SHADOWSPIRE

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-VITHAR 3-7279                19  12      69  AESIR (398)                OSKSI
 COPERNICUS 81-163            26  13  2   55  DARQUE AGES (335)          SHADOWSPIRE
 HUGH CAPET 81-690            26  33  4   51  DARQUE AGES (335)          SHADOWSPIRE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
CAPTURED PIRATE KING       0   0  0                        COPERNICUS 81-163          54

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Spymaster -- I was kind of shocked that a 12 point gain and a 9 point loss were the
biggest gains and drops for the turn, so I had to check.  Turns out there was a
bigger moving fight, but it does appear that the Shiny Penny/Lhisson fight was the
second biggest recognition point fight.  Heinrik/Froo Froo was the biggest (13 point
gain, 27 point loss). -- Assur

     Ah!  Those clerks in the Commission office got it wrong AGAIN!  I've told
     them and told them back in the office to check the contents of the water
     cooler, but do they LISTEN to me?  No!  "Trust the golems, the golems are
     infallible!"  Bah!

Evangelion -- The last two turns haven't been quite as epic as prior fights, but I'm
sure we've got a few more good ones between us.  I'm going to keep challenges coming
unless you ask me to stop. -- Gad

     Since that would require an effort to communicate, you're probably safe.

Lhisson -- Just remember, that pennies do have value. -- Shiny Penny

Moist Towelette -- That is why I didn't want you when I was on the throne.  Wiped me
clean. -- Josh

Almost Pretty -- You looked more than almost against me. -- Virginia

Pinch Blister -- Just so you know, TPs are the only style that can scum! -- Ruth,
scums with the best of them

Pocket News -- Thanks for coming last week.  Wins are all. -- Upright Man

So much for being the favorite.  Fame is fleeting.... -- Pocket News

The Upright Man Refused to Fall!  Alastarian Idols Victorious!  Story on page 20. --
Pocket News

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GAD was viciously subdued by EVANGELION in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge fight.
FROO-FROO demolished SHINY PENNY in a popular 1 minute one-sided Title melee.
THE BRIDE vanquished JOSH in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
FAN ZHEN overpowered ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in a 1 minute mismatched match.
MOIST TOWELETTE overpowered LHISSON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.
THE HYPHEN-DASH handily defeated VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in a 1 minute uneven fight.
ALMOST PRETTY vanquished THE UPRIGHT MAN in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.
HEINRIK vanquished 1977 AMC MATADOR in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided duel.
PINCH BLISTER was handily defeated by POCKET NEWS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
RUTH was demolished by JELLO KNUCKLES in a crowd pleasing 8 minute mismatched match.
HUGH CAPET was subdued by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
JOAN OF ARC was beaten by R.O.U.S. in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gory conflict.
COPERNICUS viciously butchered CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 2 minute bloody bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -   1 -  0      92  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   2 -  0      75  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         SLASHING ATTACK   18 -   9 -  0      67  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    19 -  15 -  0      56  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  12 -  0      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  18 -  1      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         AIMED BLOW        10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-LUNGE       13 -  15 -  0      46  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK    11 -  15 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         TOTAL PARRY        5 -  28 -  0      15  |

Turn  54 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         3  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  FROO-FROO 18-9589          79  37  4  290 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
STRIKING ATTACK  MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430    88  46  4  318 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
LUNGING ATTACK   THE BRIDE 45-4180          54  27  2  226 DARQUE FORCES (348)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    EVANGELION 59-2340         44  38  1  203 IMPROVED ILLUSION (349)
BASHING ATTACK   SHINY PENNY 32-3789        81 133  2  202 FOUND IN THE SAND (360)
WALL OF STEEL    ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496      71  40  0  199 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
PARRY-LUNGE      GAD 18-9239                45  50  1  195 SHEPHERDS (359)
AIMED BLOW       JOSH 18-9109               37  37  0  192 SHEPHERDS (359)
TOTAL PARRY      JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554     47  38  0  163 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)

The overall popularity leader is SHINY PENNY 32-3789.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554.  The ten other most popular fighters were GAD 
18-9239, EVANGELION 59-2340, FAN ZHEN 81-1288, HEINRIK 81-1257, FROO-FROO 18-9589, 
MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430, THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, JOAN OF ARC 
81-165, and SHINY PENNY 32-3789.

The least popular fighter this week was RUTH 18-10121.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, LHISSON 29-5456, 
HUGH CAPET 81-690, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, THE UPRIGHT MAN 
10-5185, JOSH 18-9109, COPERNICUS 81-163, and THE BRIDE 45-4180.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
KOLACT(10)           0  1 0  ARVAT(32)            0  1 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  4 0  RODEKI(42)           4  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
ZUWAYZA(19)          1  0 0  STORMCROWE(45)       1  0 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      3  2 1  
LAPUR(29)            0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185     29  32  0  172  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
 FROO-FROO 18-9589           79  37  4  290  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364         20  16  0  133  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 LHISSON 29-5456             49  48  0  191  MID EARTH (316)            LAPUR
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         81 133  2  202  FOUND IN THE SAND (360)    ARVAT
 MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430     88  46  4  318  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 THE BRIDE 45-4180           54  27  2  226  DARQUE FORCES (348)        STORMCROWE
 EVANGELION 59-2340          44  38  1  203  IMPROVED ILLUSION (349)    ILLIS
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623  35  49  1  159  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 FAN ZHEN 81-1288            43  30  2  230  DARQUE AGES (335)          SHADOWSPIRE