AD
Date : 06/17/2014 Duedate: 06/30/2014
STORM ROCK ARENA
DM 107 TURN 76
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365 356 250 2 58.7 NEXT GENERATION 58/368
CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364 FOUND IN THE SAND 32/360
2 CLAN LONGBEA 81/374 90 92 0 49.5 BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
3 SENTINELS 7/354 121 141 1 46.2 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361
DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334 5 THE MAGNIFIC 19/395 1653 2172 21 43.2
4 VEGGIES 3/372 158 206 1 43.4 6 BAD SIGNS 83/397 1 0 0 100
SHEPHERDS 18/359 PARTY ANIMALS 5/301
PALINDROMES 73/405 WAY TO GO! II 73/333
ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363
THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
Reflections by the Champion of the Horn
Azaghal put up a great fight. I wasn't sure if I could turn it around, but
managed to emerge victorious. Great fight and I look forward to our next one. Not
quite as epic as the Evangelion fights, but good nonetheless.
Of my likely opponents this round, I see the following:
Moist Towelette -- Good for shining pennies. Might even be worth cleaning the
Horn for a turn. Not sure what use it is for a Shepherd. It wouldn't stay moist or
clean long enough to be useful.
Jello Knuckles -- I'm guessing those knuckles hit harder than you expect,
because 56-50 is a winning record. But as far as inspiring fear? I don't think so.
Pocket News -- When you're competing for shelf space against the National
Enquirer and the trashy Girly mags, I just don't see it happening
Assur says I won't be challenging or avoiding while I'm on the throne. He says
if I can't beat all comers, I don't deserve to be here. My translation: He's too
lazy to fill out the appropriate paperwork.
-- Gad
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
They call this place Storm Rock. I'd welcome a storm about now. It feels like
a pressure cooker here, you might have noticed that? Hot and humid, with not enough
breeze to shake a stick at. I've got a couple of flunkies on a treadmill running a
fan, but it isn't helping much. Still, here comes a spy report. Brace yourselves!
Some point movements: Out for a Duck up 30, Wonton Not Now down 19. Same
fight. Nobody was avoided, even the clerks have admitted that. Pocket News seems to
have gotten the most challenges.
Speaking of which, there were only two that got through. Twelve fights, two
standbys.
It has been reliably reported that somebody here in Storm Rock has been honing
years. Stop that! It makes them shorter.
WONTON NOT NOW (73-6069) (17-9-0,92) of PALINDROMES fought OUT FOR A DUCK (83-
275) (15-12-0,57) of BAD SIGNS. WONTON NOT NOW was savagely defeated by OUT FOR A
DUCK in a 3 minute match. Somehow, I just have this creeping feeling, a sort of
chill on the back of the neck, you know, that these two oddly named warriors deserve
each other.
JAKLAK (81-1430) (30-25-0,120) of CLAN LONGBEARD fought PINCH BLISTER (18-9859)
(47-71-0,148) of CENTER FOR OLDS. JAKLAK savagely defeated PINCH BLISTER in a crowd
pleasing 6 minute competition. I would never have guessed you could do THAT with a
beard.
LUC STARWALKER (58-6100) (47-43-0,174) of NEXT GENERATION fought FLOYD (107-10)
(0-0-0,150) of Fine Imported Standbys. LUC STARWALKER viciously subdued FLOYD in a
popular 2 minute brutal bout. And quite right, too!
ARUGULA (3-7180) (28-29-2,171) of VEGGIES fought 1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (72-
62-0,160) of COLOR ME SUAVE. ARUGULA vanquished 1977 AMC MATADOR in a popular 2
minute brutal one-sided duel. Ah, the old "lettuce in the gas tank" trick!
RUTH (18-10121) (46-34-0,189) of SHEPHERDS fought OZAWINDIB (7-6212) (35-25-
0,167) of SENTINELS. RUTH outwaited OZAWINDIB in a 14 minute fight. Fourteen
minutes? In THIS heat? Rumor has it that Ruth was waiting for her nail polish to
dry.
AZAGHAL (81-1223) (49-43-1,198) of DRAGONBANE GUILD fought THE UPRIGHT MAN (10-
5185) (36-47-0,166) of ALASTARIAN IDOL. AZAGHAL won victory over THE UPRIGHT MAN in
an action packed 1 minute duel. Not, I note, one-sided. There might be more to The
Upright Man than shows.
MOIST TOWELETTE (42-4430) (106-49-4,251) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VIRGINIA, NO
SANTA (65-6623) (43-63-1,191) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS. MOIST TOWELETTE overpowered
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl. Talk about "uneven"! And
no hidden tourney fights, either.
SHINY PENNY (32-3789) (92-144-2,242) of FOUND IN THE SAND fought ALMOST PRETTY
(42-4496) (86-46-0,187) of COLOR ME SUAVE. SHINY PENNY devastated ALMOST PRETTY in a
popular 1 minute bloody uneven brawl. You should cut her a little snack, I mean,
slack, Shiny. No one is as pretty as you are, and it isn't HER fault.
JOSH (18-9109) (45-51-0,215) of SHEPHERDS fought RIRORNI COOK (107-24) (0-0-
0,181) of Fine Imported Standbys. JOSH devastated RIRORNI COOK in a popular 2 minute
brutal one-sided contest. And what this will do to lunch today, I don't even want to
think.
The challenges:
MAULI LAMA (7-6292) (16-18-1,48) of SENTINELS challenged REDDIG (81-1838) (24-
10-0,65) of CLAN LONGBEARD. Up 17. MAULI LAMA was vanquished by REDDIG in a 1
minute uneven Challenge battle. Again the Beard Trick. I'm amazed.
OBROJOBO (7-5869) (44-45-1,202) of SENTINELS challenged POCKET NEWS (19-5364)
(30-27-0,217) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS. Up 15. OBROJOBO devastated POCKET NEWS in a
1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. Somebody wants his name in the headlines!
For the title:
GAD (18-9239) (59-58-1,275) of SHEPHERDS fought JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (56-50-
0,218) of COLOR ME SUAVE. GAD demolished JELLO KNUCKLES in a 1 minute uneven Title
fight. The addition of whipped cream to this fight was unusual.
Larkin
CHAMPION OF THE HORN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
GAD 18-9239 60 58 1 288 SHEPHERDS (359) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
SHINY PENNY 32-3789 93 144 2 270 FOUND IN THE SAND (360) ARVAT
MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430 107 49 4 260 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
JOSH 18-9109 46 51 223 SHEPHERDS (359) TALCAMA
OBROJOBO 7-5869 45 45 1 215 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
AZAGHAL 81-1223 50 43 1 200 DRAGONBANE GUILD (334) SHADOWSPIRE
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623 43 64 1 198 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
RUTH 18-10121 47 34 193 SHEPHERDS (359) TALCAMA
JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554 56 51 191 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-ANZAHANZEK 7-6204 32 28 190 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
POCKET NEWS 19-5364 30 28 190 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
ARUGULA 3-7180 29 29 2 186 VEGGIES (372) OSKSI
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496 86 47 180 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
LUC STARWALKER 58-6100 48 43 176 NEXT GENERATION (368) DELARQ TOR
OZAWINDIB 7-6212 35 26 172 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 36 48 171 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363) KOLACT
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 72 63 153 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
JAKLAK 81-1430 31 25 142 CLAN LONGBEARD (374) SHADOWSPIRE
PINCH BLISTER 18-9859 47 72 134 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-RAMIRUS 81-1935 26 15 1 94 WARMASTERS (342) SHADOWSPIRE
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275 16 12 87 BAD SIGNS (397) TELORINTHE
WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069 17 10 73 PALINDROMES (405) ERINIKA
REDDIG 81-1838 25 10 71 CLAN LONGBEARD (374) SHADOWSPIRE
MAULI LAMA 7-6292 16 19 1 46 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
-DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 15 7 46 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Pocket News -- I think I'm done reading your mag. Don't you know better than to beat
your elders? At least you taught me something. I won't count you completely out
yet. -- Virginia, No Santa
Almost Pretty -- It'd be a lot prettier if you let me beat on you longer. That is
what my fans want to see. -- Shiny Penny
Ozawindib -- No surprises there. Just a classic AB beat down on a TP. -- Josh
Pinch Blister -- Last week was mine. -- Arugula
Reddig -- Those wontons are really good, but not for you right now. -- Wonton Not Now
Hot Flash! Santa Is Real! Doubter Leaves Virginia in Tears, Is Punished! Story on
page 7, letters to Santa on page 12.
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
OBROJOBO devastated POCKET NEWS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MAULI LAMA was vanquished by REDDIG in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
GAD demolished JELLO KNUCKLES in a 1 minute uneven Title fight.
JOSH devastated RIRORNI COOK in a popular 2 minute brutal one-sided contest.
SHINY PENNY devastated ALMOST PRETTY in a popular 1 minute bloody uneven brawl.
MOIST TOWELETTE overpowered VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
AZAGHAL won victory over THE UPRIGHT MAN in a action packed 1 minute duel.
RUTH outwaited OZAWINDIB in a 14 minute fight.
ARUGULA vanquished 1977 AMC MATADOR in a popular 2 minute brutal one-sided duel.
LUC STARWALKER viciously subdued FLOYD in a popular 2 minute brutal bout.
JAKLAK savagely defeated PINCH BLISTER in a crowd pleasing 6 minute competition.
WONTON NOT NOW was savagely defeated by OUT FOR A DUCK in a 3 minute match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK 6 STRIKING ATTACK 9 - 1 - 0 90 |
|TOTAL PARRY 4 AIMED BLOW 4 - 1 - 0 80 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 3 LUNGING ATTACK 8 - 4 - 0 67 |
|WALL OF STEEL 3 PARRY-LUNGE 13 - 9 - 0 59 |
|AIMED BLOW 2 SLASHING ATTACK 6 - 5 - 0 55 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 - 5 - 0 50 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 WALL OF STEEL 15 - 15 - 0 50 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 1 BASHING ATTACK 17 - 26 - 0 40 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 TOTAL PARRY 11 - 22 - 0 33 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 0 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 5 - 0 29 |
Turn 76 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 2 - 0 BASHING ATTACK 2 - 4 2 PARRY-LUNGE
PARRY-LUNGE 3 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 3 2 BASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 1 STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 0 LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 0 1 AIMED BLOW
STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 0 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 3 1 SLASHING ATTACK
1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
1 TOTAL PARRY
1 PARRY-STRIKE
1 WALL OF STEEL
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
PARRY-LUNGE GAD 18-9239 60 58 1 288 SHEPHERDS (359)
BASHING ATTACK SHINY PENNY 32-3789 93 144 2 270 FOUND IN THE SAND (360)
STRIKING ATTACK MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430 107 49 4 260 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
AIMED BLOW JOSH 18-9109 46 51 0 223 SHEPHERDS (359)
SLASHING ATTACK OBROJOBO 7-5869 45 45 1 215 SENTINELS (354)
PARRY-RIPOSTE RUTH 18-10121 47 34 0 193 SHEPHERDS (359)
TOTAL PARRY JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554 56 51 0 191 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
WALL OF STEEL POCKET NEWS 19-5364 30 28 0 190 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395)
The overall popularity leader is SHINY PENNY 32-3789. The most popular warrior this
turn was PINCH BLISTER 18-9859. The ten other most popular fighters were LUC
STARWALKER 58-6100, OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275, JOSH 18-9109, ARUGULA 3-7180, JAKLAK
81-1430, WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069, OZAWINDIB 7-6212, SHINY PENNY 32-3789, MOIST
TOWELETTE 42-4430, and AZAGHAL 81-1223.
The least popular fighter this week was JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554. The other ten least
popular fighters were MAULI LAMA 7-6292, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, 1977 AMC MATADOR
42-4116, RUTH 18-10121, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, ALMOST
PRETTY 42-4496, GAD 18-9239, REDDIG 81-1838, and OBROJOBO 7-5869.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
OSKSI(3) 1 0 0 ZUWAYZA(19) 0 1 0 DAL SHANG(65) 0 1 0
BONSUR(7) 1 2 0 ARVAT(32) 1 0 0 ERINIKA(73) 0 1 0
KOLACT(10) 0 1 0 RODEKI(42) 1 3 0 SHADOWSPIRE(81) 3 0 0
TALCAMA(18) 3 1 0 DELARQ TOR(58) 1 0 0 TELORINTHE(83) 1 0 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ARUGULA 3-7180 29 29 2 186 VEGGIES (372) OSKSI
OBROJOBO 7-5869 45 45 1 215 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 36 48 0 171 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363) KOLACT
GAD 18-9239 60 58 1 288 SHEPHERDS (359) TALCAMA
POCKET NEWS 19-5364 30 28 0 190 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
SHINY PENNY 32-3789 93 144 2 270 FOUND IN THE SAND (360) ARVAT
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430 107 49 4 260 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
LUC STARWALKER 58-6100 48 43 0 176 NEXT GENERATION (368) DELARQ TOR
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623 43 64 1 198 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069 17 10 0 73 PALINDROMES (405) ERINIKA
AZAGHAL 81-1223 50 43 1 200 DRAGONBANE GUILD (334) SHADOWSPIRE
OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275 16 12 0 87 BAD SIGNS (397) TELORINTHE