AD

Date   : 06/17/2014    Duedate: 06/30/2014

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 76

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  356  250   2 58.7      NEXT GENERATION 58/368
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                      FOUND IN THE SAND 32/360
  2 CLAN LONGBEA 81/374   90   92   0 49.5      BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
  3 SENTINELS 7/354      121  141   1 46.2      GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361
    DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334                   5 THE MAGNIFIC 19/395 1653 2172  21 43.2
  4 VEGGIES 3/372        158  206   1 43.4    6 BAD SIGNS 83/397       1    0   0  100
    SHEPHERDS 18/359                            PARTY ANIMALS 5/301
    PALINDROMES 73/405                          WAY TO GO! II 73/333
    ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Champion of the Horn

     Azaghal put up a great fight.  I wasn't sure if I could turn it around, but
managed to emerge victorious.  Great fight and I look forward to our next one.  Not
quite as epic as the Evangelion fights, but good nonetheless.

Of my likely opponents this round, I see the following:
     Moist Towelette -- Good for shining pennies.  Might even be worth cleaning the
Horn for a turn.  Not sure what use it is for a Shepherd.  It wouldn't stay moist or
clean long enough to be useful.
     Jello Knuckles -- I'm guessing those knuckles hit harder than you expect,
because 56-50 is a winning record.  But as far as inspiring fear?  I don't think so.
     Pocket News -- When you're competing for shelf space against the National
Enquirer and the trashy Girly mags, I just don't see it happening

     Assur says I won't be challenging or avoiding while I'm on the throne.  He says
if I can't beat all comers, I don't deserve to be here.  My translation: He's too
lazy to fill out the appropriate paperwork.

-- Gad

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     They call this place Storm Rock.  I'd welcome a storm about now.  It feels like
a pressure cooker here, you might have noticed that?  Hot and humid, with not enough
breeze to shake a stick at.  I've got a couple of flunkies on a treadmill running a
fan, but it isn't helping much.  Still, here comes a spy report.  Brace yourselves!

     Some point movements:  Out for a Duck up 30, Wonton Not Now down 19.  Same
fight.  Nobody was avoided, even the clerks have admitted that.  Pocket News seems to
have gotten the most challenges.
     Speaking of which, there were only two that got through.  Twelve fights, two
standbys.
     It has been reliably reported that somebody here in Storm Rock has been honing
years.  Stop that!  It makes them shorter.

     WONTON NOT NOW (73-6069) (17-9-0,92) of PALINDROMES fought OUT FOR A DUCK (83-
275) (15-12-0,57) of BAD SIGNS.  WONTON NOT NOW was savagely defeated by OUT FOR A
DUCK in a 3 minute match.  Somehow, I just have this creeping feeling, a sort of
chill on the back of the neck, you know, that these two oddly named warriors deserve
each other.
     JAKLAK (81-1430) (30-25-0,120) of CLAN LONGBEARD fought PINCH BLISTER (18-9859)
(47-71-0,148) of CENTER FOR OLDS.  JAKLAK savagely defeated PINCH BLISTER in a crowd
pleasing 6 minute competition.  I would never have guessed you could do THAT with a
beard.
     LUC STARWALKER (58-6100) (47-43-0,174) of NEXT GENERATION fought FLOYD (107-10)
(0-0-0,150) of Fine Imported Standbys.  LUC STARWALKER viciously subdued FLOYD in a
popular 2 minute brutal bout.  And quite right, too!
     ARUGULA (3-7180) (28-29-2,171) of VEGGIES fought 1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (72-
62-0,160) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  ARUGULA vanquished 1977 AMC MATADOR in a popular 2
minute brutal one-sided duel.  Ah, the old "lettuce in the gas tank" trick!

     RUTH (18-10121) (46-34-0,189) of SHEPHERDS fought OZAWINDIB (7-6212) (35-25-
0,167) of SENTINELS.  RUTH outwaited OZAWINDIB in a 14 minute fight.  Fourteen
minutes?  In THIS heat?  Rumor has it that Ruth was waiting for her nail polish to
dry.
     AZAGHAL (81-1223) (49-43-1,198) of DRAGONBANE GUILD fought THE UPRIGHT MAN (10-
5185) (36-47-0,166) of ALASTARIAN IDOL.  AZAGHAL won victory over THE UPRIGHT MAN in
an action packed 1 minute duel.  Not, I note, one-sided.  There might be more to The
Upright Man than shows.
     MOIST TOWELETTE (42-4430) (106-49-4,251) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VIRGINIA, NO
SANTA (65-6623) (43-63-1,191) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS.  MOIST TOWELETTE overpowered
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.  Talk about "uneven"!  And
no hidden tourney fights, either.
     SHINY PENNY (32-3789) (92-144-2,242) of FOUND IN THE SAND fought ALMOST PRETTY
(42-4496) (86-46-0,187) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  SHINY PENNY devastated ALMOST PRETTY in a
popular 1 minute bloody uneven brawl.  You should cut her a little snack, I mean,
slack, Shiny.  No one is as pretty as you are, and it isn't HER fault.
     JOSH (18-9109) (45-51-0,215) of SHEPHERDS fought RIRORNI COOK (107-24) (0-0-
0,181) of Fine Imported Standbys.  JOSH devastated RIRORNI COOK in a popular 2 minute
brutal one-sided contest.  And what this will do to lunch today, I don't even want to
think.

The challenges:
     MAULI LAMA (7-6292) (16-18-1,48) of SENTINELS challenged REDDIG (81-1838) (24-
10-0,65) of CLAN LONGBEARD.  Up 17.  MAULI LAMA was vanquished by REDDIG in a 1
minute uneven Challenge battle.  Again the Beard Trick.  I'm amazed.
     OBROJOBO (7-5869) (44-45-1,202) of SENTINELS challenged POCKET NEWS (19-5364)
(30-27-0,217) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS.  Up 15.  OBROJOBO devastated POCKET NEWS in a
1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Somebody wants his name in the headlines!

For the title:
     GAD (18-9239) (59-58-1,275) of SHEPHERDS fought JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (56-50-
0,218) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  GAD demolished JELLO KNUCKLES in a 1 minute uneven Title
fight.  The addition of whipped cream to this fight was unusual.

                                       Larkin

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 GAD 18-9239                  60  58  1  288  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789          93 144  2  270  FOUND IN THE SAND (360)    ARVAT
 MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430     107  49  4  260  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 JOSH 18-9109                 46  51     223  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
 OBROJOBO 7-5869              45  45  1  215  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 AZAGHAL 81-1223              50  43  1  200  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623   43  64  1  198  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 RUTH 18-10121                47  34     193  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       56  51     191  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-ANZAHANZEK 7-6204            32  28     190  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364          30  28     190  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 ARUGULA 3-7180               29  29  2  186  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496        86  47     180  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 LUC STARWALKER 58-6100       48  43     176  NEXT GENERATION (368)      DELARQ TOR
 OZAWINDIB 7-6212             35  26     172  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185      36  48     171  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116     72  63     153  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JAKLAK 81-1430               31  25     142  CLAN LONGBEARD (374)       SHADOWSPIRE
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859        47  72     134  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-RAMIRUS 81-1935              26  15  1   94  WARMASTERS (342)           SHADOWSPIRE

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275        16  12      87  BAD SIGNS (397)            TELORINTHE
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069       17  10      73  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA
 REDDIG 81-1838               25  10      71  CLAN LONGBEARD (374)       SHADOWSPIRE
 MAULI LAMA 7-6292            16  19  1   46  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
-DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071        15   7      46  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Pocket News -- I think I'm done reading your mag.  Don't you know better than to beat
your elders?  At least you taught me something.  I won't count you completely out
yet. -- Virginia, No Santa

Almost Pretty -- It'd be a lot prettier if you let me beat on you longer.  That is
what my fans want to see. -- Shiny Penny

Ozawindib -- No surprises there.  Just a classic AB beat down on a TP. -- Josh

Pinch Blister -- Last week was mine. -- Arugula

Reddig -- Those wontons are really good, but not for you right now. -- Wonton Not Now

Hot Flash!  Santa Is Real!  Doubter Leaves Virginia in Tears, Is Punished!  Story on
page 7, letters to Santa on page 12.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

OBROJOBO devastated POCKET NEWS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MAULI LAMA was vanquished by REDDIG in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
GAD demolished JELLO KNUCKLES in a 1 minute uneven Title fight.
JOSH devastated RIRORNI COOK in a popular 2 minute brutal one-sided contest.
SHINY PENNY devastated ALMOST PRETTY in a popular 1 minute bloody uneven brawl.
MOIST TOWELETTE overpowered VIRGINIA, NO SANTA in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
AZAGHAL won victory over THE UPRIGHT MAN in a action packed 1 minute duel.
RUTH outwaited OZAWINDIB in a 14 minute fight.
ARUGULA vanquished 1977 AMC MATADOR in a popular 2 minute brutal one-sided duel.
LUC STARWALKER viciously subdued FLOYD in a popular 2 minute brutal bout.
JAKLAK savagely defeated PINCH BLISTER in a crowd pleasing 6 minute competition.
WONTON NOT NOW was savagely defeated by OUT FOR A DUCK in a 3 minute match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -   1 -  0      90  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         AIMED BLOW         4 -   1 -  0      80  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         LUNGING ATTACK     8 -   4 -  0      67  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-LUNGE       13 -   9 -  0      59  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         SLASHING ATTACK    6 -   5 -  0      55  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         WALL OF STEEL     15 -  15 -  0      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  26 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         TOTAL PARRY       11 -  22 -  0      33  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   5 -  0      29  |

Turn  76 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  4         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  3         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  3         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      GAD 18-9239                60  58  1  288 SHEPHERDS (359)
BASHING ATTACK   SHINY PENNY 32-3789        93 144  2  270 FOUND IN THE SAND (360)
STRIKING ATTACK  MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430   107  49  4  260 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
AIMED BLOW       JOSH 18-9109               46  51  0  223 SHEPHERDS (359)
SLASHING ATTACK  OBROJOBO 7-5869            45  45  1  215 SENTINELS (354)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    RUTH 18-10121              47  34  0  193 SHEPHERDS (359)
TOTAL PARRY      JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554     56  51  0  191 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
WALL OF STEEL    POCKET NEWS 19-5364        30  28  0  190 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395)

The overall popularity leader is SHINY PENNY 32-3789.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was PINCH BLISTER 18-9859.  The ten other most popular fighters were LUC 
STARWALKER 58-6100, OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275, JOSH 18-9109, ARUGULA 3-7180, JAKLAK 
81-1430, WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069, OZAWINDIB 7-6212, SHINY PENNY 32-3789, MOIST 
TOWELETTE 42-4430, and AZAGHAL 81-1223.

The least popular fighter this week was JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MAULI LAMA 7-6292, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, 1977 AMC MATADOR 
42-4116, RUTH 18-10121, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, ALMOST 
PRETTY 42-4496, GAD 18-9239, REDDIG 81-1838, and OBROJOBO 7-5869.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             1  0 0  ZUWAYZA(19)          0  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  2 0  ARVAT(32)            1  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           1  3 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      3  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          3  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  0 0  TELORINTHE(83)       1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARUGULA 3-7180              29  29  2  186  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI
 OBROJOBO 7-5869             45  45  1  215  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185     36  48  0  171  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
 GAD 18-9239                 60  58  1  288  SHEPHERDS (359)            TALCAMA
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364         30  28  0  190  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 SHINY PENNY 32-3789         93 144  2  270  FOUND IN THE SAND (360)    ARVAT

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOIST TOWELETTE 42-4430    107  49  4  260  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 LUC STARWALKER 58-6100      48  43  0  176  NEXT GENERATION (368)      DELARQ TOR
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623  43  64  1  198  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069      17  10  0   73  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA
 AZAGHAL 81-1223             50  43  1  200  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE
 OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275       16  12  0   87  BAD SIGNS (397)            TELORINTHE