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Date   : 12/02/2014    Duedate: 12/15/2014

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 88

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  388  277   2 58.3      NEXT GENERATION 58/368
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                      FOUND IN THE SAND 32/360
  2-SENTINELS 7/354      137  152   2 47.4      BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
    DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334                     GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361
  3 VEGGIES 3/372        205  262   2 43.9    4 THE MAGNIFIC 19/395 1659 2178  21 43.2
    SHEPHERDS 18/359                          5-BAD SIGNS 83/397       1    7   0 12.5
    PALINDROMES 73/405                          PARTY ANIMALS 5/301
    ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363                      WAY TO GO! II 73/333

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Champion of the Horn

     A great fight to finish my time here!  I couldn't have asked for a better
script!  Thanks, Azaghal.  No clue who will replace me.  If Moist Towelette isn't
shipped off to Primus, it will likely be him.  Not many warriors here can beat him.
I can tell you for sure that Assur's best warriors are outta here, though. -- Gad

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     It was going to be the Unknown Spymaster, but he missed the good stuff because
he had a bag over his head.
     Here's what *I* know.  Storm Rock has been hard hit by the Split.  We're down to
six fights, with two standbys--as bad as Andorak!  Okay, maybe not QUITE as bad,
because we have personals, which Andorak does not.  But still, we need to go out and
drag in some more competitors untainted by tourneys!
     Today, we had six fights, no challenges, no avoids, two standbys.  None of the 
fights were action packed, none were exciting.  Still, they were OUR fights, as good
as anybody's and maybe better.

     WONTON NOT NOW (73-6069) (20-18-1,34) of PALINDROMES fought ALASTARIAN DESERTER
(107-1) (0-0-0,30) of Fine Imported Standbys.  WONTON NOT NOW was bested by
ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a popular 1 minute competition.  This led to a drop in the
rankings for Wonton, one that the Unknown felt was significant:  seven points.
Pretty small, if you ask me, and Wonton still has a winning record.
     JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (59-59-0,171) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought THE BLACKSMITH
(107-22) (0-0-0,181) of Fine Imported Standbys.  JELLO KNUCKLES viciously subdued THE
BLACKSMITH in a crowd pleasing 4 minute fight.  And for this, Jello got thirteen
points, also said to be significant.  What amazes me is that something as soft (if
rubbery) as jello could take down the Blacksmith with his steely thews.  Way to go,
Jello.
     POCKET NEWS (19-5364) (35-34-0,197) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS fought ARUGULA (3-
7180) (34-35-2,180) of VEGGIES.  POCKET NEWS overpowered ARUGULA in a crowd pleasing
1 minute bloody one-sided fight.  All things considered, I'd call this a well-matched
pair, but maybe it was just the News's day.  And the ranch dressing.
     VIRGINIA, NO SANTA (65-6623) (47-71-1,187) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS fought 1977
AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (77-69-0,177) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  VIRGINIA, NO SANTA was
narrowly defeated by 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 3 minute melee.  Better pull up your 
socks, Virginia, you don't want to make a habit of this losing.
     LUC STARWALKER (58-6100) (51-45-0,216) of NEXT GENERATION fought PINCH BLISTER
(18-9859) (51-79-0,201) of CENTER FOR OLDS.  LUC STARWALKER viciously subdued PINCH
BLISTER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.  It may not have been officially
exciting, but it pleased the fans.  The special effects were amazing, too.

For the title:
     ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (94-50-0,202) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought THE UPRIGHT MAN
(10-5185) (40-55-0,180) of ALASTARIAN IDOL.  ALMOST PRETTY overpowered THE UPRIGHT
MAN in a 1 minute mismatched Title duel.  Our congratulations to Almost Pretty, and
we'll hope for a few words from the top, eh?

                                       Larkin

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496        95  50     208  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364          36  34     204  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859        51  80     198  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116     78  69     188  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       60  59     184  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARUGULA 3-7180               34  36  2  175  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069       20  19  1   27  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Gad Retains Title!  No Changes, Says Champion of the Horn!

Virginia, No Santa Refuted!  Santa!

     And just in time, too.

1977 AMC Matador -- I leave you with that loss.  Assur didn't want me to leave, but I
go to Primus now to be modified, so will be ineligible to return to this fine place.
-- Shiny Penny

Moist Towelette -- You are just way too good.  I go to the Home Guard to finish my
career. -- Ruth

Almost Pretty -- I on the other hand will continue to fight here.  Next time, please
teach me something. -- Arugula

Pocket News -- Back and forth we go! -- Virginia

Pinch Blister -- Soon I will surpass you and never look back. -- The Upright Man

Mauli Lama -- grumble grumble...  If I didn't have wontons to appease me, I'd be
really upset. -- Wonton Not Now

Out for a Duck -- See you hopefully in a few months. -- Dirty Diapers

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

LUC STARWALKER viciously subdued PINCH BLISTER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA was narrowly defeated by 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 3 minute melee.
ALMOST PRETTY overpowered THE UPRIGHT MAN in a 1 minute mismatched Title duel.
POCKET NEWS overpowered ARUGULA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.
JELLO KNUCKLES viciously subdued THE BLACKSMITH in a crowd pleasing 4 minute fight.
WONTON NOT NOW was bested by ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a popular 1 minute competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         STRIKING ATTACK    7 -   2 -  0      78  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK    5 -   2 -  0      71  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -   9 -  0      65  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  14 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         BASHING ATTACK    27 -  28 -  1      49  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         TOTAL PARRY        9 -  16 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   7 -  0      22  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   0         AIMED BLOW         3 -  11 -  0      21  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   3 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         LUNGING ATTACK     0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn  88 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      3 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         4  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496      95  50  0  208 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
TOTAL PARRY      PINCH BLISTER 18-9859      51  80  0  198 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
PARRY-LUNGE      ARUGULA 3-7180             34  36  2  175 VEGGIES (372)
BASHING ATTACK   WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069     20  19  1   27 PALINDROMES (405)

The overall popularity leader is ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, LUC STARWALKER 58-6100, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, ALMOST 
PRETTY 42-4496, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, 
ARUGULA 3-7180, WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069, and  0-0.

The least popular fighter this week was WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ARUGULA 3-7180, THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, 
POCKET NEWS 19-5364, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, LUC STARWALKER 
58-6100, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, and  0-0.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  ZUWAYZA(19)          1  0 0  DAL SHANG(65)        0  1 0  
KOLACT(10)           0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           3  0 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  DELARQ TOR(58)       1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARUGULA 3-7180              34  36  2  175  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859       51  80  0  198  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364         36  34  0  204  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496       95  50  0  208  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069      20  19  1   27  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 80 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission.