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Date   : 01/13/2015    Duedate: 01/26/2015

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 91

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  395  282   2 58.3      PALINDROMES 73/405
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                      ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363
  2 SENTINELS 7/354      139  153   2 47.6      BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
    DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334                     GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361
  3 VEGGIES 3/372        211  269   2 44.0    4 THE MAGNIFIC 19/395 1660 2180  21 43.2

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Snide Clemens was not so "glad to see the back of this place" (alleys are much
of a muchness anyway) as I was to see the back of him.
     Okay, we had seven fights, no challenges, no avoids, two standbys.  Nomad is
back, good to see him, we need all the warm bodies on the sands we can get.  Too cold
otherwise.  Mauli Lama gained thirty points today, Pinch Blister lost twenty-six,
same fight.

     WONTON NOT NOW (73-6069) (22-19-1,47) of PALINDROMES fought CAPTURED PIRATE KING
(107-2) (0-0-0,30) of Fine Imported Standbys.  WONTON NOT NOW defeated CAPTURED
PIRATE KING in a 1 minute gruesome melee.  And Wonton left the Pirate King in tears,
Pirate Kings are all about immediate gratification (at least, the ones that get
captured), and he wanted his wontons RIGHT NOW.
     PINCH BLISTER (18-9859) (51-82-0,180) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought MAULI LAMA (7-
6292) (23-19-2,136) of SENTINELS.  PINCH BLISTER was viciously subdued by MAULI LAMA
in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.  Thus the major point movements.
     POCKET NEWS (19-5364) (37-35-0,194) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS fought ARENAMASTER
SANDAVOL (107-28) (0-0-0,200) of Fine Imported Standbys.  POCKET NEWS slimly lost to
ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in an action packed 4 minute brawl.  I feel sure that Sandavol
did this just to get his name in the paper; everyone wants that, right?
     1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (80-69-0,207) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought ARUGULA (3-
7180) (34-38-2,177) of VEGGIES.  1977 AMC MATADOR devastated ARUGULA in an exciting 1
minute one-sided fight.  And a wholesome, nutritous veggie is TRAMPLED into the sand.
Hard to wash sand out of those leaves, too.
     VIRGINIA, NO SANTA (65-6623) (48-73-1,198) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS fought
OBROJOBO (7-5869) (50-48-1,197) of SENTINELS.  VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overpowered
OBROJOBO in a 1 minute mismatched duel.  How DARE you offer Virginia a Santa present!
     ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (96-51-0,205) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought THE UPRIGHT MAN
(10-5185) (41-57-0,194) of ALASTARIAN IDOL.  ALMOST PRETTY subdued THE UPRIGHT MAN in
an exciting 3 minute melee.  They tell me she's almost beautiful when she comes at
you with murderous intent.  I don't see that, myself.  I mean, I don't even WANT to
see that.

For the title:
     JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (62-59-0,208) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought AZAGHAL (81-
1223) (56-45-1,216) of DRAGONBANE GUILD.  JELLO KNUCKLES was devastated by AZAGHAL in
a 2 minute mismatched Title fight.  Out with the old, in with the new.  Any chance of
a column, or at least a line or two, Azaghal?  Oh, and congratulations.  Good work.

                                       Larkin

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 AZAGHAL 81-1223              57  45  1  229  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116     81  69     212  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496        97  51     211  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623   49  73  1  209  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185      41  58     206  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364          37  36     194  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       62  60     193  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 OBROJOBO 7-5869              50  49  1  187  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARUGULA 3-7180               34  39  2  176  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI
 MAULI LAMA 7-6292            24  19  2  166  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859        51  83     154  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069       23  19  1   49  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA
-DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071        17  12      33  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

The disappearance of my warriors from this arena was not intentional.  They rather
mysteriously moved to arena 100.  They should be back this turn to do their part in
supporting the no-tourney theme. -- Nomad

     Good, we missed you.

Jello Knuckles -- You are lucky, too. -- Virginia

Almost Pretty -- You'll always be an ugly hag to me. -- The Upright Man

Pocket News -- Woo hoo, I get to make your cover this week. -- Arugula

Well, Virginia No Santa, you've got a point about the pernicious effects of the
season.  There's a strong suggestion there of a need to BUY love.  Bad, very bad.
Plus, we salute you for doing a column regardless of the Commission's effort to turn
you invisible.  Way to go! -- Jorja

Up to Nine Warriors!  Life Returns to Storm Rock as Temperatures Drop!  Storm Rock
Well Named!

Herbed Vinegars the Answer to Argula!  No Skills Involved.  Recipes on page 8.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JELLO KNUCKLES was devastated by AZAGHAL in a 2 minute mismatched Title fight.
ALMOST PRETTY subdued THE UPRIGHT MAN in a exciting 3 minute melee.
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overpowered OBROJOBO in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
1977 AMC MATADOR devastated ARUGULA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
POCKET NEWS slimly lost to ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in a action packed 4 minute brawl.
PINCH BLISTER was viciously subdued by MAULI LAMA in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match.
WONTON NOT NOW defeated CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute gruesome melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         STRIKING ATTACK    4 -   2 -  0      67  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK    4 -   2 -  0      67  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  13 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         BASHING ATTACK    26 -  23 -  1      53  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -  11 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         TOTAL PARRY        9 -  14 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   4 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         AIMED BLOW         1 -   8 -  0      11  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   1 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         LUNGING ATTACK     0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn  91 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     3 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         3  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      AZAGHAL 81-1223            57  45  1  229 DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)
WALL OF STEEL    1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116   81  69  0  212 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
BASHING ATTACK   VIRGINIA, NO SANT 65-6623  49  73  1  209 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361)
TOTAL PARRY      JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554     62  60  0  193 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
SLASHING ATTACK  OBROJOBO 7-5869            50  49  1  187 SENTINELS (354)

The overall popularity leader is ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was POCKET NEWS 19-5364.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE 
UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, MAULI LAMA 7-6292, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, AZAGHAL 81-1223, 1977 
AMC MATADOR 42-4116, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, WONTON NOT 
NOW 73-6069, OBROJOBO 7-5869, and ARUGULA 3-7180.

The least popular fighter this week was JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ARUGULA 3-7180, OBROJOBO 7-5869, WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069, PINCH 
BLISTER 18-9859, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, AZAGHAL 
81-1223, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, MAULI LAMA 7-6292, and THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  TALCAMA(18)          0  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
BONSUR(7)            1  1 0  ZUWAYZA(19)          0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           2  1 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARUGULA 3-7180              34  39  2  176  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI
 OBROJOBO 7-5869             50  49  1  187  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185     41  58  0  206  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859       51  83  0  154  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364         37  36  0  194  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116    81  69  0  212  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623  49  73  1  209  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069      23  19  1   49  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA
 AZAGHAL 81-1223             57  45  1  229  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE