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Date   : 03/10/2015    Duedate: 03/23/2015

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 95

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  402  291   2 58.0      PALINDROMES 73/405
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                      ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363
  2-SENTINELS 7/354      146  158   2 48.0      BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
    DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334                     GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361
  3 VEGGIES 3/372        220  280   3 44.0    4 THE MAGNIFIC 19/395 1662 2182  21 43.2

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Champion of the Horn

     And here I remain having taken down a reporter.  I wonder what the headline will
read?

          "Champion of the Horn a True champion?"

That would work.

          "Azaghal a Lord Among Men!  Gladiators tremble!"

Kinda flattering, but a bit much.

          "Champion of the Horn Pokes Holes in Paper!  Crowds Cheer Wildly!"

Honestly in journalism, perhaps asking too much?

          "Champion of the Horn barely holds Title against Reporter!
          "Got Lucky" he admits."

Of some reporters I'd expect such yellow journalism, but our own little Pocket News
has never seemed to go in for such self aggrandizement

          "Pocket News NOT superman in disguise!  Superhero remains unknown!"

Perhaps too obvious?

Ah well, I guess we must all await the morning edition.  And while doing so we can
all be thankful that I chose the career of gladiator and not reporter.

Azaghal,

Champion of the Horn

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Here we are again, and where else would we be?  Aside from some private beach,
waiting for Debby Tonte to bring us a drink with an umbrella in it.  Debby looks
really good on a beach, that great tan, you know.
     But since we're at the arena instead of the beach, I'll tell you a few words
about the fights today.
     Point movements:  Pinch Blister up 22, Pocket News down 15.  Same fight.
     No challenges, no avoids, two standbys, absence of previous Champion.  Nomad
must still be cursed.
     None of the fights were either exciting or action-packed.  Is this an effect of
Spring Fever?

     WONTON NOT NOW (73-6069) (26-19-1,76) of PALINDROMES fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON
(107-5) (0-0-0,70) of Fine Imported Standbys.  WONTON NOT NOW was devastated by
UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided duel.  I have sometimes wondered about this
Unemployed Person.  Why has no manager hired him?
     DIRTY DIAPERS (38-5071) (17-15-0,21) of BASH BROS CHILDREN fought CAPTURED
PIRATE KING (107-2) (0-0-0,30) of Fine Imported Standbys.  DIRTY DIAPERS was
overpowered by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute mismatched match.  The Diapered One
was nearly forced into crawling the plank.
     POCKET NEWS (19-5364) (39-37-0,194) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS fought PINCH BLISTER
(18-9859) (52-85-0,168) of CENTER FOR OLDS.  POCKET NEWS was bested by PINCH BLISTER
in a popular 3 minute contest.  Is this Zen?
     VIRGINIA, NO SANTA (65-6623) (51-74-1,201) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS fought JELLO
KNUCKLES (42-4554) (62-63-0,178) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overcame
JELLO KNUCKLES in a popular 2 minute gruesome match.  Here's a clue, Jello:  No
embedded pineapple.
     THE UPRIGHT MAN (10-5185) (42-60-1,355) of ALASTARIAN IDOL fought ALMOST PRETTY
(42-4496) (98-53-0,196) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  THE UPRIGHT MAN was bested by ALMOST
PRETTY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute fight.  She wanted him on his knees, and she put
him there.

Because of Azaghal's misfortune, the title went by default to the highest-ranked
active warrior, thus:  ARUGULA (3-7180) (36-40-2,193) of VEGGIES fought 1977 AMC
MATADOR (42-4116) (83-70-0,207) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  ARUGULA lost to 1977 AMC MATADOR
in a 2 minute Title battle.  Our congratulations to 1977 AMC Matador.

                                       Larkin

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116     84  70     211  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-AZAGHAL 81-1223              60  45  1  298  DRAGONBANE GUILD (334)     SHADOWSPIRE
-OBROJOBO 7-5869              53  49  1  211  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185      42  61  1  208  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496        99  53     206  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623   52  74  1  203  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 ARUGULA 3-7180               36  41  2  195  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859        53  85     190  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       62  64     179  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364          39  38     179  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
-OZAWINDIB 7-6212             36  32     179  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
-ANZAHANZEK 7-6204            32  32     165  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
-MAULI LAMA 7-6292            24  21  2  153  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069       26  20  1   63  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071        17  16      13  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

Azaghal Refuses Interview!  "I'll Write My Own," Says Champion of the Horn.

Larkin Anti-Reporter, Himself a Reporter!  Wise Man Says "This Is Zen."  See page 10
for discussion of "Zen in Gladiatorial Combat."

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

THE UPRIGHT MAN was bested by ALMOST PRETTY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute fight.
ARUGULA lost to 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 2 minute Title battle.
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overcame JELLO KNUCKLES in a popular 2 minute gruesome match.
POCKET NEWS was bested by PINCH BLISTER in a popular 3 minute contest.
DIRTY DIAPERS was overpowered by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute mismatched match.
WONTON NOT NOW was devastated by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         STRIKING ATTACK    2 -   0 -  0     100  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK    4 -   1 -  0      80  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         WALL OF STEEL     19 -  11 -  0      63  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -   9 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         BASHING ATTACK    20 -  24 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         TOTAL PARRY        7 -  16 -  0      30  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   1 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         AIMED BLOW         0 -   2 -  0       0  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         LUNGING ATTACK     0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn  95 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         3  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  0     
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116   84  70  0  211 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
BASHING ATTACK   THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185    42  61  1  208 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)
PARRY-LUNGE      ARUGULA 3-7180             36  41  2  195 VEGGIES (372)
TOTAL PARRY      PINCH BLISTER 18-9859      53  85  0  190 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)

The overall popularity leader is ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, ALMOST PRETTY 
42-4496, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, ARUGULA 3-7180, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, DIRTY 
DIAPERS 38-5071, WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069, and  0-0.

The least popular fighter this week was WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, ARUGULA 3-7180, 
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, POCKET NEWS 
19-5364, THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, and  0-0.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
OSKSI(3)             0  1 0  ZUWAYZA(19)          0  1 0  DAL SHANG(65)        1  0 0  
KOLACT(10)           0  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  ERINIKA(73)          0  1 0  
TALCAMA(18)          1  0 0  RODEKI(42)           2  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ARUGULA 3-7180              36  41  2  195  VEGGIES (372)              OSKSI
 THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185     42  61  1  208  ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)      KOLACT
 PINCH BLISTER 18-9859       53  85  0  190  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 POCKET NEWS 19-5364         39  38  0  179  THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071       17  16  0   13  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116    84  70  0  211  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623  52  74  1  203  GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
 WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069      26  20  1   63  PALINDROMES (405)          ERINIKA