AD
Date : 03/10/2015 Duedate: 03/23/2015
STORM ROCK ARENA
DM 107 TURN 95
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365 402 291 2 58.0 PALINDROMES 73/405
CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364 ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363
2-SENTINELS 7/354 146 158 2 48.0 BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361
3 VEGGIES 3/372 220 280 3 44.0 4 THE MAGNIFIC 19/395 1662 2182 21 43.2
THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
Reflections by the Champion of the Horn
And here I remain having taken down a reporter. I wonder what the headline will
read?
"Champion of the Horn a True champion?"
That would work.
"Azaghal a Lord Among Men! Gladiators tremble!"
Kinda flattering, but a bit much.
"Champion of the Horn Pokes Holes in Paper! Crowds Cheer Wildly!"
Honestly in journalism, perhaps asking too much?
"Champion of the Horn barely holds Title against Reporter!
"Got Lucky" he admits."
Of some reporters I'd expect such yellow journalism, but our own little Pocket News
has never seemed to go in for such self aggrandizement
"Pocket News NOT superman in disguise! Superhero remains unknown!"
Perhaps too obvious?
Ah well, I guess we must all await the morning edition. And while doing so we can
all be thankful that I chose the career of gladiator and not reporter.
Azaghal,
Champion of the Horn
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Here we are again, and where else would we be? Aside from some private beach,
waiting for Debby Tonte to bring us a drink with an umbrella in it. Debby looks
really good on a beach, that great tan, you know.
But since we're at the arena instead of the beach, I'll tell you a few words
about the fights today.
Point movements: Pinch Blister up 22, Pocket News down 15. Same fight.
No challenges, no avoids, two standbys, absence of previous Champion. Nomad
must still be cursed.
None of the fights were either exciting or action-packed. Is this an effect of
Spring Fever?
WONTON NOT NOW (73-6069) (26-19-1,76) of PALINDROMES fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON
(107-5) (0-0-0,70) of Fine Imported Standbys. WONTON NOT NOW was devastated by
UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided duel. I have sometimes wondered about this
Unemployed Person. Why has no manager hired him?
DIRTY DIAPERS (38-5071) (17-15-0,21) of BASH BROS CHILDREN fought CAPTURED
PIRATE KING (107-2) (0-0-0,30) of Fine Imported Standbys. DIRTY DIAPERS was
overpowered by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute mismatched match. The Diapered One
was nearly forced into crawling the plank.
POCKET NEWS (19-5364) (39-37-0,194) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS fought PINCH BLISTER
(18-9859) (52-85-0,168) of CENTER FOR OLDS. POCKET NEWS was bested by PINCH BLISTER
in a popular 3 minute contest. Is this Zen?
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA (65-6623) (51-74-1,201) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS fought JELLO
KNUCKLES (42-4554) (62-63-0,178) of COLOR ME SUAVE. VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overcame
JELLO KNUCKLES in a popular 2 minute gruesome match. Here's a clue, Jello: No
embedded pineapple.
THE UPRIGHT MAN (10-5185) (42-60-1,355) of ALASTARIAN IDOL fought ALMOST PRETTY
(42-4496) (98-53-0,196) of COLOR ME SUAVE. THE UPRIGHT MAN was bested by ALMOST
PRETTY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute fight. She wanted him on his knees, and she put
him there.
Because of Azaghal's misfortune, the title went by default to the highest-ranked
active warrior, thus: ARUGULA (3-7180) (36-40-2,193) of VEGGIES fought 1977 AMC
MATADOR (42-4116) (83-70-0,207) of COLOR ME SUAVE. ARUGULA lost to 1977 AMC MATADOR
in a 2 minute Title battle. Our congratulations to 1977 AMC Matador.
Larkin
CHAMPION OF THE HORN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 84 70 211 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-AZAGHAL 81-1223 60 45 1 298 DRAGONBANE GUILD (334) SHADOWSPIRE
-OBROJOBO 7-5869 53 49 1 211 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 42 61 1 208 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363) KOLACT
ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496 99 53 206 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623 52 74 1 203 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
ARUGULA 3-7180 36 41 2 195 VEGGIES (372) OSKSI
PINCH BLISTER 18-9859 53 85 190 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554 62 64 179 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
POCKET NEWS 19-5364 39 38 179 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
-OZAWINDIB 7-6212 36 32 179 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
-ANZAHANZEK 7-6204 32 32 165 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
-MAULI LAMA 7-6292 24 21 2 153 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069 26 20 1 63 PALINDROMES (405) ERINIKA
DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 17 16 13 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
Azaghal Refuses Interview! "I'll Write My Own," Says Champion of the Horn.
Larkin Anti-Reporter, Himself a Reporter! Wise Man Says "This Is Zen." See page 10
for discussion of "Zen in Gladiatorial Combat."
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
THE UPRIGHT MAN was bested by ALMOST PRETTY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute fight.
ARUGULA lost to 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 2 minute Title battle.
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overcame JELLO KNUCKLES in a popular 2 minute gruesome match.
POCKET NEWS was bested by PINCH BLISTER in a popular 3 minute contest.
DIRTY DIAPERS was overpowered by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute mismatched match.
WONTON NOT NOW was devastated by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK 4 STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 0 - 0 100 |
|WALL OF STEEL 3 SLASHING ATTACK 4 - 1 - 0 80 |
|TOTAL PARRY 2 WALL OF STEEL 19 - 11 - 0 63 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 - 0 50 |
|AIMED BLOW 0 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 9 - 0 47 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 BASHING ATTACK 20 - 24 - 1 45 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 TOTAL PARRY 7 - 16 - 0 30 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 - 0 0 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 0 AIMED BLOW 0 - 2 - 0 0 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 0 LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 0 - 0 0 |
Turn 95 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
WALL OF STEEL 2 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 3 3 WALL OF STEEL
TOTAL PARRY 1 - 1 AIMED BLOW 0 - 0 3 TOTAL PARRY
PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 2 PARRY-LUNGE
PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 BASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 0
SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 0
STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
WALL OF STEEL 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 84 70 0 211 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
BASHING ATTACK THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 42 61 1 208 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363)
PARRY-LUNGE ARUGULA 3-7180 36 41 2 195 VEGGIES (372)
TOTAL PARRY PINCH BLISTER 18-9859 53 85 0 190 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
The overall popularity leader is ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496. The most popular warrior
this turn was VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623. The ten other most popular fighters were
THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, ALMOST PRETTY
42-4496, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, ARUGULA 3-7180, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, DIRTY
DIAPERS 38-5071, WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069, and 0-0.
The least popular fighter this week was WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069. The other ten least
popular fighters were DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, ARUGULA 3-7180,
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, POCKET NEWS
19-5364, THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, and 0-0.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
OSKSI(3) 0 1 0 ZUWAYZA(19) 0 1 0 DAL SHANG(65) 1 0 0
KOLACT(10) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 0 1 0
TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 RODEKI(42) 2 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ARUGULA 3-7180 36 41 2 195 VEGGIES (372) OSKSI
THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 42 61 1 208 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363) KOLACT
PINCH BLISTER 18-9859 53 85 0 190 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
POCKET NEWS 19-5364 39 38 0 179 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA
DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 17 16 0 13 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 84 70 0 211 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623 52 74 1 203 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG
WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069 26 20 1 63 PALINDROMES (405) ERINIKA