AD Date : 03/10/2015 Duedate: 03/23/2015 STORM ROCK ARENA DM 107 TURN 95 RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K % 1 COLOR ME SUA 42/365 402 291 2 58.0 PALINDROMES 73/405 CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364 ALASTARIAN IDOL 10/363 2-SENTINELS 7/354 146 158 2 48.0 BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407 DRAGONBANE GUILD 81/334 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS 65/361 3 VEGGIES 3/372 220 280 3 44.0 4 THE MAGNIFIC 19/395 1662 2182 21 43.2 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM Reflections by the Champion of the Horn And here I remain having taken down a reporter. I wonder what the headline will read? "Champion of the Horn a True champion?" That would work. "Azaghal a Lord Among Men! Gladiators tremble!" Kinda flattering, but a bit much. "Champion of the Horn Pokes Holes in Paper! Crowds Cheer Wildly!" Honestly in journalism, perhaps asking too much? "Champion of the Horn barely holds Title against Reporter! "Got Lucky" he admits." Of some reporters I'd expect such yellow journalism, but our own little Pocket News has never seemed to go in for such self aggrandizement "Pocket News NOT superman in disguise! Superhero remains unknown!" Perhaps too obvious? Ah well, I guess we must all await the morning edition. And while doing so we can all be thankful that I chose the career of gladiator and not reporter. Azaghal, Champion of the Horn REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER Here we are again, and where else would we be? Aside from some private beach, waiting for Debby Tonte to bring us a drink with an umbrella in it. Debby looks really good on a beach, that great tan, you know. But since we're at the arena instead of the beach, I'll tell you a few words about the fights today. Point movements: Pinch Blister up 22, Pocket News down 15. Same fight. No challenges, no avoids, two standbys, absence of previous Champion. Nomad must still be cursed. None of the fights were either exciting or action-packed. Is this an effect of Spring Fever? WONTON NOT NOW (73-6069) (26-19-1,76) of PALINDROMES fought UNEMPLOYED PERSON (107-5) (0-0-0,70) of Fine Imported Standbys. WONTON NOT NOW was devastated by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided duel. I have sometimes wondered about this Unemployed Person. Why has no manager hired him? DIRTY DIAPERS (38-5071) (17-15-0,21) of BASH BROS CHILDREN fought CAPTURED PIRATE KING (107-2) (0-0-0,30) of Fine Imported Standbys. DIRTY DIAPERS was overpowered by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute mismatched match. The Diapered One was nearly forced into crawling the plank. POCKET NEWS (19-5364) (39-37-0,194) of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS fought PINCH BLISTER (18-9859) (52-85-0,168) of CENTER FOR OLDS. POCKET NEWS was bested by PINCH BLISTER in a popular 3 minute contest. Is this Zen? VIRGINIA, NO SANTA (65-6623) (51-74-1,201) of GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS fought JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (62-63-0,178) of COLOR ME SUAVE. VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overcame JELLO KNUCKLES in a popular 2 minute gruesome match. Here's a clue, Jello: No embedded pineapple. THE UPRIGHT MAN (10-5185) (42-60-1,355) of ALASTARIAN IDOL fought ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (98-53-0,196) of COLOR ME SUAVE. THE UPRIGHT MAN was bested by ALMOST PRETTY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute fight. She wanted him on his knees, and she put him there. Because of Azaghal's misfortune, the title went by default to the highest-ranked active warrior, thus: ARUGULA (3-7180) (36-40-2,193) of VEGGIES fought 1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (83-70-0,207) of COLOR ME SUAVE. ARUGULA lost to 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 2 minute Title battle. Our congratulations to 1977 AMC Matador. Larkin CHAMPION OF THE HORN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 84 70 211 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY -AZAGHAL 81-1223 60 45 1 298 DRAGONBANE GUILD (334) SHADOWSPIRE -OBROJOBO 7-5869 53 49 1 211 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 42 61 1 208 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363) KOLACT ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496 99 53 206 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623 52 74 1 203 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG ARUGULA 3-7180 36 41 2 195 VEGGIES (372) OSKSI PINCH BLISTER 18-9859 53 85 190 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554 62 64 179 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI POCKET NEWS 19-5364 39 38 179 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA -OZAWINDIB 7-6212 36 32 179 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR -ANZAHANZEK 7-6204 32 32 165 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR -MAULI LAMA 7-6292 24 21 2 153 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069 26 20 1 63 PALINDROMES (405) ERINIKA DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 17 16 13 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE Azaghal Refuses Interview! "I'll Write My Own," Says Champion of the Horn. Larkin Anti-Reporter, Himself a Reporter! Wise Man Says "This Is Zen." See page 10 for discussion of "Zen in Gladiatorial Combat." LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS THE UPRIGHT MAN was bested by ALMOST PRETTY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute fight. ARUGULA lost to 1977 AMC MATADOR in a 2 minute Title battle. VIRGINIA, NO SANTA overcame JELLO KNUCKLES in a popular 2 minute gruesome match. POCKET NEWS was bested by PINCH BLISTER in a popular 3 minute contest. DIRTY DIAPERS was overpowered by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 minute mismatched match. WONTON NOT NOW was devastated by UNEMPLOYED PERSON in a 1 minute one-sided duel. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |BASHING ATTACK 4 STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 0 - 0 100 | |WALL OF STEEL 3 SLASHING ATTACK 4 - 1 - 0 80 | |TOTAL PARRY 2 WALL OF STEEL 19 - 11 - 0 63 | |PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 - 0 50 | |AIMED BLOW 0 PARRY-LUNGE 8 - 9 - 0 47 | |PARRY-STRIKE 0 BASHING ATTACK 20 - 24 - 1 45 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 TOTAL PARRY 7 - 16 - 0 30 | |LUNGING ATTACK 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 - 0 0 | |SLASHING ATTACK 0 AIMED BLOW 0 - 2 - 0 0 | |STRIKING ATTACK 0 LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 95 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: WALL OF STEEL 2 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 1 - 3 3 WALL OF STEEL TOTAL PARRY 1 - 1 AIMED BLOW 0 - 0 3 TOTAL PARRY PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 2 PARRY-LUNGE PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 BASHING ATTACK PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 SLASHING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 0 - 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME WALL OF STEEL 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 84 70 0 211 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) BASHING ATTACK THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 42 61 1 208 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363) PARRY-LUNGE ARUGULA 3-7180 36 41 2 195 VEGGIES (372) TOTAL PARRY PINCH BLISTER 18-9859 53 85 0 190 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) The overall popularity leader is ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496. The most popular warrior this turn was VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623. The ten other most popular fighters were THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, ARUGULA 3-7180, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069, and 0-0. The least popular fighter this week was WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069. The other ten least popular fighters were DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, ARUGULA 3-7180, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, PINCH BLISTER 18-9859, POCKET NEWS 19-5364, THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185, VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623, and 0-0. Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K OSKSI(3) 0 1 0 ZUWAYZA(19) 0 1 0 DAL SHANG(65) 1 0 0 KOLACT(10) 0 1 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 1 0 ERINIKA(73) 0 1 0 TALCAMA(18) 1 0 0 RODEKI(42) 2 1 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY ARUGULA 3-7180 36 41 2 195 VEGGIES (372) OSKSI THE UPRIGHT MAN 10-5185 42 61 1 208 ALASTARIAN IDOL (363) KOLACT PINCH BLISTER 18-9859 53 85 0 190 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA POCKET NEWS 19-5364 39 38 0 179 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (395) ZUWAYZA DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 17 16 0 13 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 84 70 0 211 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI VIRGINIA, NO SANTA 65-6623 52 74 1 203 GOT IT FOR CHRISTMAS (361) DAL SHANG WONTON NOT NOW 73-6069 26 20 1 63 PALINDROMES (405) ERINIKA