AD
Date : 02/09/2016 Duedate: 02/22/2016
STORM ROCK ARENA
DM 107 TURN 119
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 BIG LAKE BAN 33/409 21 12 0 63.6 4 SENTINELS 7/354 183 196 3 48.3
BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 81/410 NOMADIC TRIBE 21/310
2 COLOR ME SUA 42/365 469 352 2 57.1 5 BASHAHOLICS 59/375 262 317 5 45.3
CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364 BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
3 TWISTED SIST 72/413 3 3 0 50.0
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day,
I, Novgorodny Vir, return once again! Practice pays for I'M POWERLESS, who pummelled
TANTRUM YOGA, to pocket 31 points. Win some, lose some. Speaking of which, I'M
POWERLESS was winsome, after beating TANTRUM YOGA and seeing him lose 24 points.
What can be a greater victory? OBROJOBO has taken his place as the top, as STORM
ROCK's new Duelmaster. So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable walls and
challenging dead trees? Someone's got a basic problem...
My mother wished me to avoid conflict, and seek the gentle trade of Spyreporter.
But warriors aren't supposed to avoid fights! Like the noble eagle soaring amongst
the mountaintops, so stand the warriors of CENTER FOR OLDS, alone and unchallenged.
The warriors of CENTER FOR OLDS found their efforts at combat frustrated as NOMADIC
TRIBE apparently had more important things to do than fight. Is it charming
personality? Conversational abilities? Good oral hygiene? Whatever it is,
CHATROOMMATE is the most challenged warrior. Them's the breaks, HARD KNOCKS.
Expecting fair challenges from BIG LAKE BANDITS is evidently too much to ask. INIGO
MONTOYA will have to start challenging legless old maids next, as it was subdued by
HARD KNOCKS. Good show, HARD KNOCKS! Take heed STORM ROCK, of the unprincipled
action of SYE THE BEARDED. By challenging DIRTY DIAPERS, 33 points below him, SYE
THE BEARDED besmirches the noble art of dueling. SYE THE BEARDED subdued DIRTY
DIAPERS with a point difference of 33. So this is what STORM ROCK calls a duel.
This will make an interesting tale.
Ah, the duel! The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd! Ask not a
spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen into an
unconscious stupor.
All good things must come to an end. As the seasons change, and the creatures
of the wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place. Like a mixed
metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid STORM ROCK farewell-- Novgorodny Vir
CHAMPION OF THE HORN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
OBROJOBO 7-5869 67 53 2 261 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BEDDER 18-10043 46 88 3 220 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499 66 72 1 214 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
DELAWARE RUN 42-4400 151 90 5 212 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
TOE PUPPET 18-9544 76 42 211 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496 112 65 200 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 96 82 199 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935 45 44 196 NOMADIC TRIBE (310) SUNSET
JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554 75 75 193 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
CAJETAN 7-6036 28 36 1 171 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-MAULI LAMA 7-6292 25 31 2 169 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
IRON BITCH 72-5859 25 30 2 146 TWISTED SISTERS (413) DRAGONHEAD
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
HARD KNOCKS 42-4555 17 15 90 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
SYE THE BEARDED 81-801 23 10 86 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410) SHADOWSPIRE
I'M POWERLESS 59-2629 22 42 71 BASHAHOLICS ANON (375) ILLIS
INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054 23 11 1 62 BIG LAKE BANDITS (409) NIATOLI ISLAND
CHATROOMMATE 18-10034 19 20 58 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 25 31 1 57 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME
TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563 22 11 2 54 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113 23 16 37 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410) SHADOWSPIRE
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
INIGO MONTOYA was devastated by HARD KNOCKS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
BURM WOLFSNARL was overcome by CHATROOMMATE in a popular 5 minute Challenge match.
SYE THE BEARDED viciously subdued DIRTY DIAPERS in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
ALMOST PRETTY was savagely defeated by OBROJOBO in a 1 minute Title match.
THE HYPHEN-DASH vanquished GOJIRO in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
JELLO KNUCKLES viciously subdued THE BLACKSMITH in a popular 4 minute competition.
TOE PUPPET vanquished WALLI WEEBLE in a action packed 5 minute gory uneven duel.
DELAWARE RUN vanquished CAJETAN in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided duel.
1977 AMC MATADOR slimly won victory over VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a 3 minute bout.
BEDDER demolished RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
IRON BITCH was bested by FLOYD in a exciting 3 minute battle.
I'M POWERLESS bested TANTRUM YOGA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 9 - 2 - 0 82 |
|TOTAL PARRY 3 SLASHING ATTACK 13 - 3 - 0 81 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 2 WALL OF STEEL 14 - 6 - 0 70 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 - 3 - 0 67 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 LUNGING ATTACK 8 - 4 - 0 67 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 2 TOTAL PARRY 18 - 17 - 0 51 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 2 BASHING ATTACK 14 - 19 - 0 42 |
|WALL OF STEEL 2 AIMED BLOW 7 - 10 - 0 41 |
|AIMED BLOW 1 PARRY-LUNGE 3 - 8 - 0 27 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 - 0 0 |
Turn 119 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 1 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 2 2 BASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE
BASHING ATTACK 2 - 1 2 WALL OF STEEL
PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 1 2 TOTAL PARRY
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 1 SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 LUNGING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 1 - 1
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
SLASHING ATTACK OBROJOBO 7-5869 67 53 2 261 SENTINELS (354)
STRIKING ATTACK BEDDER 18-10043 46 88 3 220 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
LUNGING ATTACK THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499 66 72 1 214 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
BASHING ATTACK DELAWARE RUN 42-4400 151 90 5 212 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
PARRY-RIPOSTE TOE PUPPET 18-9544 76 42 0 211 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
WALL OF STEEL ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496 112 65 0 200 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
TOTAL PARRY WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935 45 44 0 196 NOMADIC TRIBE (310)
AIMED BLOW HARD KNOCKS 42-4555 17 15 0 90 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
PARRY-LUNGE CHATROOMMATE 18-10034 19 20 0 58 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
The overall popularity leader is BEDDER 18-10043. The most popular warrior this turn
was TOE PUPPET 18-9544. The ten other most popular fighters were CHATROOMMATE
18-10034, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, IRON BITCH 72-5859, BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113, SYE THE
BEARDED 81-801, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, OBROJOBO 7-5869, THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499,
HARD KNOCKS 42-4555, and WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935.
The least popular fighter this week was INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054. The other ten least
popular fighters were TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563, DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, CAJETAN 7-6036,
I'M POWERLESS 59-2629, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, BEDDER 18-10043, DELAWARE RUN 42-4400,
WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935, HARD KNOCKS 42-4555, and THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
BONSUR(7) 1 1 0 NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 0 1 0 ILLIS(59) 1 0 0
TALCAMA(18) 3 0 0 CLIFFHOME(38) 0 1 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 0 1 0
SUNSET(21) 0 1 0 RODEKI(42) 5 2 0 SHADOWSPIRE(81) 1 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
OBROJOBO 7-5869 67 53 2 261 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
BEDDER 18-10043 46 88 3 220 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935 45 44 0 196 NOMADIC TRIBE (310) SUNSET
INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054 23 11 1 62 BIG LAKE BANDITS (409) NIATOLI ISLAND
DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 25 31 1 57 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME
THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499 66 72 1 214 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
I'M POWERLESS 59-2629 22 42 0 71 BASHAHOLICS ANON (375) ILLIS
IRON BITCH 72-5859 25 30 2 146 TWISTED SISTERS (413) DRAGONHEAD
SYE THE BEARDED 81-801 23 10 0 86 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410) SHADOWSPIRE
NAME CHANGE-O-RAMA
The crowd was surprisingly orderly, but it was still a crowd, and the Commission
clerk, Algernon, looked at it uneasily. Whenever this many people came together to
petition for something, it meant trouble. For him, anyway. Records to be altered.
Altering records was Bad. It made Extra Work.
His assistant clerk leaned close and whispered, "If it weren't for gladiators, we
wouldn't have jobs. Smile at them and ask what they want."
Algernon closed his eyes briefly. Looking at this crowd made him dizzy. They
were all wearing black and white stripes. Like a herd of zebras, except that zebras
didn't carry swords. Then he took a deep breath and managed a smile. "What... ah,
what can I do for you?"
"We want new names," the first gladiator said. There was a number on the front
of his shirt: 0381. He thumped the number with his thumb. "This here isn't a
name--"
"We want REAL names!" That voice came from farther back in the crowd.
"Yeah! We've paid our dues," another shouted, "and we've EARNED real names!"
One from the very back yelled, "I want to be called Tom."
All the others turned to look at him.
Algernon couldn't see him, but apparently those looks were accusing. Well, he
could understand that, "Tom" was such a... common name.
"My mom called me Tom," the voice in the back protested. "It's a good name."
"It isn't the name you put on the petition," 0381 said. "We talked about this.
We got our manager's agreement. You get the name on the petition."
"But--!"
Algernon didn't really want to keep staring at all these stripes while they
argued. He picked up the petition. "These names are the ones you want?"
0381 turned back. "Yes."
"It's a lot of trouble, and when other people see that YOU are getting name
changes, THEY are going to want them--" Seeing the gladiators beginning to frown...
and finger their weapons, he went on quickly, "So I figure we might as well make it a
complete deal. A Name-Change-O-Rama. Everyone who wants a name change can petition
for it. Get it all over with at once." He glanced at the petition, shuddered
slightly, and passed it to his clerk. "We'll announce it, proclaim it, even, and you
will get the names on this petition. And others will get the names THEY think they
should have had, too." He paused. "And I think I'll get a new name, I'm tired of
being an Algernon...."
* * * * *
Warrior and team name changes will be accepted during the month of March. If
you have names you want to change, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI