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Date   : 02/09/2016    Duedate: 02/22/2016

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 119

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 BIG LAKE BAN 33/409   21   12   0 63.6    4 SENTINELS 7/354      183  196   3 48.3
    BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 81/410                    NOMADIC TRIBE 21/310
  2 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  469  352   2 57.1    5 BASHAHOLICS  59/375  262  317   5 45.3
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                      BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
  3 TWISTED SIST 72/413    3    3   0 50.0

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

     Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day, 
I, Novgorodny Vir, return once again!  Practice pays for I'M POWERLESS, who pummelled 
TANTRUM YOGA, to pocket 31 points.  Win some, lose some.  Speaking of which, I'M 
POWERLESS was winsome, after beating TANTRUM YOGA and seeing him lose 24 points.  
What can be a greater victory?  OBROJOBO has taken his place as the top, as STORM 
ROCK's new Duelmaster.  So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable walls and 
challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic problem...   
     My mother wished me to avoid conflict, and seek the gentle trade of Spyreporter. 
But warriors aren't supposed to avoid fights!  Like the noble eagle soaring amongst 
the mountaintops, so stand the warriors of CENTER FOR OLDS, alone and unchallenged.  
The warriors of CENTER FOR OLDS found their efforts at combat frustrated as NOMADIC 
TRIBE apparently had more important things to do than fight.  Is it charming 
personality?  Conversational abilities?  Good oral hygiene?  Whatever it is, 
CHATROOMMATE is the most challenged warrior.  Them's the breaks, HARD KNOCKS.  
Expecting fair challenges from BIG LAKE BANDITS is evidently too much to ask.  INIGO 
MONTOYA will have to start challenging legless old maids next, as it was subdued by 
HARD KNOCKS.  Good show, HARD KNOCKS!  Take heed STORM ROCK, of the unprincipled 
action of SYE THE BEARDED.  By challenging DIRTY DIAPERS, 33 points below him, SYE 
THE BEARDED besmirches the noble art of dueling.  SYE THE BEARDED subdued DIRTY 
DIAPERS with a point difference of 33.  So this is what STORM ROCK calls a duel.  
This will make an interesting tale.   
     Ah, the duel!  The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd!  Ask not a 
spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen into an 
unconscious stupor.   
     All good things must come to an end.  As the seasons change, and the creatures 
of the wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place.  Like a mixed 
metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid STORM ROCK farewell-- Novgorodny Vir  

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OBROJOBO 7-5869              67  53  2  261  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BEDDER 18-10043              46  88  3  220  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499      66  72  1  214  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 DELAWARE RUN 42-4400        151  90  5  212  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 TOE PUPPET 18-9544           76  42     211  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496       112  65     200  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116     96  82     199  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935         45  44     196  NOMADIC TRIBE (310)        SUNSET
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       75  75     193  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 CAJETAN 7-6036               28  36  1  171  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-MAULI LAMA 7-6292            25  31  2  169  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 IRON BITCH 72-5859           25  30  2  146  TWISTED SISTERS (413)      DRAGONHEAD

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 HARD KNOCKS 42-4555          17  15      90  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 SYE THE BEARDED 81-801       23  10      86  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE
 I'M POWERLESS 59-2629        22  42      71  BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)     ILLIS
 INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054        23  11  1   62  BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 CHATROOMMATE 18-10034        19  20      58  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071        25  31  1   57  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME
 TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563         22  11  2   54  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113        23  16      37  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

INIGO MONTOYA was devastated by HARD KNOCKS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
BURM WOLFSNARL was overcome by CHATROOMMATE in a popular 5 minute Challenge match.
SYE THE BEARDED viciously subdued DIRTY DIAPERS in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
ALMOST PRETTY was savagely defeated by OBROJOBO in a 1 minute Title match.
THE HYPHEN-DASH vanquished GOJIRO in a exciting 1 minute mismatched fight.
JELLO KNUCKLES viciously subdued THE BLACKSMITH in a popular 4 minute competition.
TOE PUPPET vanquished WALLI WEEBLE in a action packed 5 minute gory uneven duel.
DELAWARE RUN vanquished CAJETAN in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided duel.
1977 AMC MATADOR slimly won victory over VILLAINOUS INFORMER in a 3 minute bout.
BEDDER demolished RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
IRON BITCH was bested by FLOYD in a exciting 3 minute battle.
I'M POWERLESS bested TANTRUM YOGA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -   2 -  0      82  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -   3 -  0      81  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         WALL OF STEEL     14 -   6 -  0      70  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   3 -  0      67  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         LUNGING ATTACK     8 -   4 -  0      67  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY       18 -  17 -  0      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         BASHING ATTACK    14 -  19 -  0      42  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         AIMED BLOW         7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   8 -  0      27  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 119 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1                                       2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  OBROJOBO 7-5869            67  53  2  261 SENTINELS (354)
STRIKING ATTACK  BEDDER 18-10043            46  88  3  220 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
LUNGING ATTACK   THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499    66  72  1  214 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
BASHING ATTACK   DELAWARE RUN 42-4400      151  90  5  212 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    TOE PUPPET 18-9544         76  42  0  211 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
WALL OF STEEL    ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496     112  65  0  200 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
TOTAL PARRY      WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935       45  44  0  196 NOMADIC TRIBE (310)
AIMED BLOW       HARD KNOCKS 42-4555        17  15  0   90 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
PARRY-LUNGE      CHATROOMMATE 18-10034      19  20  0   58 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)

The overall popularity leader is BEDDER 18-10043.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TOE PUPPET 18-9544.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHATROOMMATE 
18-10034, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, IRON BITCH 72-5859, BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113, SYE THE 
BEARDED 81-801, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, OBROJOBO 7-5869, THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499, 
HARD KNOCKS 42-4555, and WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935.

The least popular fighter this week was INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563, DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, CAJETAN 7-6036, 
I'M POWERLESS 59-2629, ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496, BEDDER 18-10043, DELAWARE RUN 42-4400, 
WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935, HARD KNOCKS 42-4555, and THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
BONSUR(7)            1  1 0  NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   0  1 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          3  0 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       0  1 0  
SUNSET(21)           0  1 0  RODEKI(42)           5  2 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      1  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 OBROJOBO 7-5869             67  53  2  261  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 BEDDER 18-10043             46  88  3  220  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 WALLI WEEBLE 21-6935        45  44  0  196  NOMADIC TRIBE (310)        SUNSET
 INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054       23  11  1   62  BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071       25  31  1   57  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME
 THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499     66  72  1  214  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 I'M POWERLESS 59-2629       22  42  0   71  BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)     ILLIS
 IRON BITCH 72-5859          25  30  2  146  TWISTED SISTERS (413)      DRAGONHEAD
 SYE THE BEARDED 81-801      23  10  0   86  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE

                                NAME CHANGE-O-RAMA

     The crowd was surprisingly orderly, but it was still a crowd, and the Commission 
clerk, Algernon, looked at it uneasily.  Whenever this many people came together to 
petition for something, it meant trouble.  For him, anyway.  Records to be altered.  
Altering records was Bad.  It made Extra Work.
     His assistant clerk leaned close and whispered, "If it weren't for gladiators, we 
wouldn't have jobs.  Smile at them and ask what they want."
     Algernon closed his eyes briefly.  Looking at this crowd made him dizzy.  They 
were all wearing black and white stripes.  Like a herd of zebras, except that zebras 
didn't carry swords.  Then he took a deep breath and managed a smile.  "What... ah, 
what can I do for you?"
     "We want new names," the first gladiator said.  There was a number on the front 
of his shirt:  0381.  He thumped the number with his thumb.  "This here isn't a 
name--"
     "We want REAL names!"  That voice came from farther back in the crowd.
     "Yeah!  We've paid our dues," another shouted, "and we've EARNED real names!"
     One from the very back yelled, "I want to be called Tom."
     All the others turned to look at him.
     Algernon couldn't see him, but apparently those looks were accusing.  Well, he 
could understand that, "Tom" was such a... common name.
     "My mom called me Tom," the voice in the back protested.  "It's a good name."
     "It isn't the name you put on the petition," 0381 said.  "We talked about this.  
We got our manager's agreement.  You get the name on the petition."
     "But--!"
     Algernon didn't really want to keep staring at all these stripes while they 
argued.  He picked up the petition.  "These names are the ones you want?"
     0381 turned back.  "Yes."
     "It's a lot of trouble, and when other people see that YOU are getting name 
changes, THEY are going to want them--"  Seeing the gladiators beginning to frown... 
and finger their weapons, he went on quickly, "So I figure we might as well make it a 
complete deal.  A Name-Change-O-Rama.  Everyone who wants a name change can petition 
for it.  Get it all over with at once."  He glanced at the petition, shuddered 
slightly, and passed it to his clerk.  "We'll announce it, proclaim it, even, and you 
will get the names on this petition.  And others will get the names THEY think they 
should have had, too."  He paused.  "And I think I'll get a new name, I'm tired of 
being an Algernon...."

                                  *   *   *   *   *  

     Warrior and team name changes will be accepted during the month of March.  If 
you have names you want to change, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI