AD
Date : 05/31/2016 Duedate: 06/13/2016
STORM ROCK ARENA
DM 107 TURN 124
RANK TEAMS W L K % RANK TEAMS W L K %
1 BIG LAKE BAN 33/409 30 15 2 66.7 4 BASHAHOLICS 59/375 265 324 5 45.0
BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 81/410 BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
2 COLOR ME SUA 42/365 497 372 2 57.2 5 TWISTED SIST 72/413 3 8 0 27.3
CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364 6 BAD SIGNS 83/397 5 20 0 20.0
3-SENTINELS 7/354 185 203 3 47.7 PARTY ANIMALS 5/301
HISTORICAL KOLACT 5/416 WAY TO GO! II 73/333
WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT
[This report was erroneously omitted from last week's newsletter. Apologies.]
Greetings, brave ones!
This is Adonis tel Edekin Kalaniah the Ever-Prepared, here to astound you with a
thrillingly told rendition of your own deeds!
BURM WOLFSNARL (81-113) (24-17-0,78) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged DIRTY DIAPERS
(38-5071) (27-32-1,60) of BASH BROS CHILDREN. BURM WOLFSNARL devastated DIRTY DIAPERS
in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SYE THE BEARDED (81-801) (24-11-1,79) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged I'M POWERLESS
(59-2629) (22-45-0,46) of BASHAHOLICS ANON. SYE THE BEARDED was demolished by I'M
POWERLESS in a 1 minute Challenge melee.
INIGO MONTOYA (33-8054) (25-11-1,84) of BIG LAKE BANDITS challenged HARD KNOCKS (42-
4555) (18-17-0,61) of COLOR ME SUAVE. INIGO MONTOYA defeated HARD KNOCKS in a crowd
pleasing 1 minute Challenge duel. Inigo Montoya is this arena's most ferocious
Slasher. Hard Knocks is our most illustrious Aimed Blow. This was an interesting
fight, but an extremely brief one.
That was the arena's only three challenges this turn, all by the Big Lake guild. That
same team posted the only avoids, which were mostly directed at the second-ranked
guild, consisting of the teams Color me Suave and Center for Olds. Some spy reporters
would say this is a commendable use of one's available tools. Alas, I do not know.
Among my kind, virtue is measured differently than among humans. To us, avoiding is a
high virtue indeed. In any case, the rest of the fights, ten of them, all involved a
stand-in.
BEDDER (18-10043) (48-89-3,212) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought VERMICIOUS KNID (107-30) (0-
0-0,240) of . BEDDER was unbelievably bested by VERMICIOUS KNID in a popular 4
minute brutal fight. Pardon my ignorance, but... what is a knid? What is vermicious?
And Bedder, of course, is our most puissant Striker. He was also voted this turn's
favorite and the overall popularity leader. Well done! Smite all the knids you can!
ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (115-65-0,210) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL
(107-28) (0-0-0,200) of . ALMOST PRETTY bested ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in an action
packed 2 minute brawl. It was a valiant effort. Had she succeeded, Almost Pretty
(whom I find to be lovely) might have won the Horn. She began this fight with one
more recognition point than 1977 AMC Matador.
TOE PUPPET (18-9544) (77-44-0,208) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought RIRORNI CAPTAIN (107-26)
(0-0-0,200) of . TOE PUPPET overpowered RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 1 minute one-sided
struggle. Toe Puppet is our premier Parry-Riposte, a difficult style.
JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (76-77-0,183) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought GOJIRO (107-31) (0-0-
0,220) of . JELLO KNUCKLES was handily defeated by GOJIRO in a 2 minute uneven
fight. Despite losing, Mr. Knuckles is the best Total Parry in our fair arena.
THE HYPHEN-DASH (42-4499) (68-73-1,189) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought TELGOR (107-27) (0-0-
0,200) of . THE HYPHEN-DASH was vanquished by TELGOR in a popular 1 minute uneven
duel. As our top Lunger, the Hyphen-Dash ought to have defeated Telgor, whoever
Telgor is. These stand-ins seem rather disturbing.
1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (99-82-0,209) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL
(107-28) (0-0-0,200) of . 1977 AMC MATADOR vanquished ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in a 2
minute one-sided Title duel. Mr. Matador is our most highly respected Wall of Steel
fighter, as well as being the Champion of the Horn. Well done! And defeating the
Arenamaster is no small feat!
DELAWARE RUN (42-4400) (153-91-5,201) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VILLAINOUS INFORMER
(107-23) (0-0-0,181) of . DELAWARE RUN defeated VILLAINOUS INFORMER in an action
packed 1 minute match. Aha! Another stand-in bites, as they say, the dust.
Actually, biting dust is no job for a loser. My people devour amber and rare earths
in order to maintain a partially physical form. In any case, Delaware Run is our
highly celebrated Basher.
IRON BITCH (72-5859) (25-33-2,123) of TWISTED SISTERS fought ZORRO, THE GAY BLADE
(107-8) (0-0-0,110) of . IRON BITCH was overpowered by ZORRO, THE GAY BLADE in a 2
minute one-sided fight. This fight was just the right length, and something of a work
of art.
TANTRUM YOGA (42-4563) (22-14-2,26) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought CAPTURED PIRATE KING
(107-2) (0-0-0,30) of . TANTRUM YOGA was devastated by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1
minute mismatched conflict.
CHATROOMMATE (18-10034) (21-21-0,41) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought ALASTARIAN DESERTER
(107-1) (0-0-0,30) of . CHATROOMMATE demolished ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a popular 1
minute mismatched match. Chatroommate is the arena's most cherished Parry-Lunge.
Well done!
This concluding my discharge of information to you all, I must depart. Until next
turn, may you all practice well and improve your skills.
Respectfully,
Adonis tel Edekin Kalaniah
REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER
Again we meet!
And it is I, once more, Adonis tel Edekin Kalaniah the Ever-Prepared, here to bring
you a stirring retelling of this day's battles!
BURM WOLFSNARL (81-113) (25-17-0,84) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged I'M POWERLESS
(59-2629) (23-45-0,80) of BASHAHOLICS ANON. BURM WOLFSNARL devastated I'M POWERLESS
in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. Mr. Wolfsnarl is no stylemaster, but Mr.
Powerless is our most highly honored Basher.
SYE THE BEARDED (81-801) (24-12-1,52) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged DIRTY DIAPERS
(38-5071) (27-33-1,58) of BASH BROS CHILDREN. SYE THE BEARDED cleaned up DIRTY
DIAPERS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (100-82-0,220) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VERMICIOUS KNID
(107-30) (0-0-0,240) of . 1977 AMC MATADOR vanquished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 2 minute
mismatched Title brawl. 1977 AMC Matador is the Champion of the Horn! What a pity
that he had to fight a stand-in to defend his title. At least it seemed a less
desperate fight than the one last turn, against the Arenamaster. And he is our
premier Wall of Steel.
ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (116-65-0,218) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VERMICIOUS KNID (107-
30) (0-0-0,240) of . ALMOST PRETTY demolished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 1 minute
mismatched competition. I should think so! This was the Vermicious Knid's second
fight of the day, which is much to ask of anyone!
BEDDER (18-10043) (48-90-3,198) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought IMPRISONED SPY (107-9) (0-0-
0,170) of . BEDDER was treacherously bested by IMPRISONED SPY in a crowd pleasing 1
minute match. Ah, what a pity, although we will see that Bedder's guildmate delivered
vengeance in the next fight.
THE HYPHEN-DASH (42-4499) (68-74-1,182) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought IMPRISONED SPY (107-
9) (0-0-0,170) of . His eyes flashing with vengeful fury, THE HYPHEN-DASH overcame
IMPRISONED SPY in an action packed 1 minute fight. Well done! The Hyphen-Dash is top
Lunger.
JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (76-78-0,177) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought IRON BITCH (72-5859)
(25-34-2,106) of TWISTED SISTERS. JELLO KNUCKLES won victory over IRON BITCH in a
harrowing, action packed 1 minute duel. Jello Knuckles is top Total Parry, and had
the distinction of fighting an actual gladiator. Truly, Iron Bitch is formidable,
though I do not know her style.
SPAWN'S BLUE BEER (83-403) (19-8-0,57) of BAD SIGNS fought INIGO MONTOYA (33-8054)
(26-11-1,86) of BIG LAKE BANDITS. SPAWN'S BLUE BEER was dispatched by INIGO MONTOYA
in a shocking 1 minute fight. Mr. Beer is our most highly respected Aimed Blow. Alas
for his demise, temporary though it was. Mr. Montoya is, of course, top Slasher.
OUT FOR A DUCK (83-275) (18-27-0,49) of BAD SIGNS fought CHATROOMMATE (18-10034) (22-
21-0,49) of CENTER FOR OLDS. OUT FOR A DUCK lost to CHATROOMMATE in a 2 minute duel.
And no wonder, because Chatroommate is top Parry-Lunge!
TANTRUM YOGA (42-4563) (22-15-2,17) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought RIRORNI SOLDIER (107-3)
(0-0-0,30) of . TANTRUM YOGA defeated RIRORNI SOLDIER in a thrilling and yet rather
sad 1 minute fight.
HARD KNOCKS (42-4555) (18-18-0,66) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought R.O.U.S. (107-4) (0-0-
0,50) of . HARD KNOCKS was overcome by R.O.U.S. in a popular 1 minute bout.
*shudder* I loathe rodents.
I am told that the Big Lake Outcasts avoided Color Me Suave. This could be why four
fighters from Suave's guild were matched against stand-ins.
Alas, I lack any further news to share with you. And so I depart. May you all fare
gloriously during the interval until next fight day.
...the Ever-Prepared
CHAMPION OF THE HORN W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 101 82 0 233 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496 117 65 0 231 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
GRAND CHAMPIONS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-OBROJOBO 7-5869 68 54 2 206 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499 69 74 1 185 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-ANZAHANZEK 7-6204 35 38 0 181 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
-CAJETAN 7-6036 28 38 1 180 SENTINELS (354) BONSUR
JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554 77 78 0 179 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
BEDDER 18-10043 48 91 3 179 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
GRAND ADEPTS W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
IRON BITCH 72-5859 25 35 2 119 TWISTED SISTERS (413) DRAGONHEAD
GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054 27 11 2 100 BIG LAKE BANDITS (409) NIATOLI ISLAND
BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113 26 17 0 93 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410) SHADOWSPIRE
GRAND INITIATES W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
I'M POWERLESS 59-2629 23 46 0 73 BASHAHOLICS ANON (375) ILLIS
SYE THE BEARDED 81-801 25 12 1 66 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410) SHADOWSPIRE
SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403 19 9 0 63 BAD SIGNS (397) TELORINTHE
CHATROOMMATE 18-10034 23 21 0 55 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
HARD KNOCKS 42-4555 18 19 0 54 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 27 34 1 48 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME
OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275 18 28 0 46 BAD SIGNS (397) TELORINTHE
TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563 23 15 2 30 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN
SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403 19 9 0 BAD SIGNS 397 INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054 124
PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
BURM WOLFSNARL devastated I'M POWERLESS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SYE THE BEARDED vanquished DIRTY DIAPERS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
1977 AMC MATADOR vanquished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 2 minute mismatched Title brawl.
ALMOST PRETTY demolished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
BEDDER was bested by IMPRISONED SPY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
THE HYPHEN-DASH overcame IMPRISONED SPY in a action packed 1 minute fight.
JELLO KNUCKLES won victory over IRON BITCH in a action packed 1 minute duel.
SPAWN'S BLUE BEER was dispatched by INIGO MONTOYA in a 1 minute fight.
OUT FOR A DUCK lost to CHATROOMMATE in a 2 minute duel.
TANTRUM YOGA defeated RIRORNI SOLDIER in a exciting 1 minute fight.
HARD KNOCKS was overcome by R.O.U.S. in a popular 1 minute bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW 3 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 0 - 0 100 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 2 WALL OF STEEL 19 - 1 - 0 95 |
|TOTAL PARRY 2 SLASHING ATTACK 10 - 4 - 1 71 |
|WALL OF STEEL 2 STRIKING ATTACK 12 - 7 - 1 63 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 7 - 7 - 0 50 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 2 TOTAL PARRY 13 - 14 - 0 48 |
|BASHING ATTACK 2 LUNGING ATTACK 9 - 11 - 0 45 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 1 PARRY-LUNGE 7 - 9 - 0 44 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 0 BASHING ATTACK 13 - 20 - 0 39 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 AIMED BLOW 5 - 10 - 0 33 |
Turn 124 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 0 AIMED BLOW 0 - 3 2 WALL OF STEEL
SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 2 - 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 LUNGING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 2 - 0 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 2 2 TOTAL PARRY
LUNGING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE
STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
1 STRIKING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
WALL OF STEEL 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 101 82 0 233 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
LUNGING ATTACK THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499 69 74 1 185 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
TOTAL PARRY JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554 77 78 0 179 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
STRIKING ATTACK BEDDER 18-10043 48 91 3 179 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
SLASHING ATTACK INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054 27 11 2 100 BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)
BASHING ATTACK I'M POWERLESS 59-2629 23 46 0 73 BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)
AIMED BLOW SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403 19 9 0 63 BAD SIGNS (397)
PARRY-LUNGE CHATROOMMATE 18-10034 23 21 0 55 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
The overall popularity leader is BEDDER 18-10043. The most popular warrior this turn
was 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116. The ten other most popular fighters were ALMOST PRETTY
42-4496, THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499, OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275, CHATROOMMATE 18-10034, SYE
THE BEARDED 81-801, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563, HARD KNOCKS
42-4555, BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113, and BEDDER 18-10043.
The least popular fighter this week was SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403. The other ten
least popular fighters were DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, I'M POWERLESS 59-2629, INIGO
MONTOYA 33-8054, IRON BITCH 72-5859, BEDDER 18-10043, BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113, HARD
KNOCKS 42-4555, TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, and SYE THE BEARDED
81-801.
Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K Arena (Number) W L K
TALCAMA(18) 1 1 0 RODEKI(42) 5 1 0 SHADOWSPIRE(81) 2 0 0
NIATOLI ISLAND(33) 1 0 1 ILLIS(59) 0 1 0 TELORINTHE(83) 0 2 0
CLIFFHOME(38) 0 1 0 DRAGONHEAD(72) 0 1 0
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA W L K PNTS TEAM NAME CITY
BEDDER 18-10043 48 91 3 179 CENTER FOR OLDS (364) TALCAMA
INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054 27 11 2 100 BIG LAKE BANDITS (409) NIATOLI ISLAND
DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071 27 34 1 48 BASH BROS CHILDREN (407) CLIFFHOME
1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116 101 82 0 233 COLOR ME SUAVE (365) RODEKI
I'M POWERLESS 59-2629 23 46 0 73 BASHAHOLICS ANON (375) ILLIS
IRON BITCH 72-5859 25 35 2 119 TWISTED SISTERS (413) DRAGONHEAD
BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113 26 17 0 93 BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410) SHADOWSPIRE
SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403 19 9 0 63 BAD SIGNS (397) TELORINTHE