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Date   : 05/31/2016    Duedate: 06/13/2016

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 124

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 BIG LAKE BAN 33/409   30   15   2 66.7    4 BASHAHOLICS  59/375  265  324   5 45.0
    BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 81/410                    BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407
  2 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  497  372   2 57.2    5 TWISTED SIST 72/413    3    8   0 27.3
    CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364                    6 BAD SIGNS 83/397       5   20   0 20.0
  3-SENTINELS 7/354      185  203   3 47.7      PARTY ANIMALS 5/301
    HISTORICAL KOLACT 5/416                     WAY TO GO! II 73/333

                                  WARRIOR SPOTLIGHT

     [This report was erroneously omitted from last week's newsletter.  Apologies.]

Greetings, brave ones!

This is Adonis tel Edekin Kalaniah the Ever-Prepared, here to astound you with a 
thrillingly told rendition of your own deeds!

BURM WOLFSNARL (81-113) (24-17-0,78) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged DIRTY DIAPERS 
(38-5071) (27-32-1,60) of BASH BROS CHILDREN.  BURM WOLFSNARL devastated DIRTY DIAPERS 
in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge fight.

SYE THE BEARDED (81-801) (24-11-1,79) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged I'M POWERLESS 
(59-2629) (22-45-0,46) of BASHAHOLICS ANON.  SYE THE BEARDED was demolished by I'M 
POWERLESS in a 1 minute Challenge melee.

INIGO MONTOYA (33-8054) (25-11-1,84) of BIG LAKE BANDITS challenged HARD KNOCKS (42-
4555) (18-17-0,61) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  INIGO MONTOYA defeated HARD KNOCKS in a crowd 
pleasing 1 minute Challenge duel.  Inigo Montoya is this arena's most ferocious 
Slasher.  Hard Knocks is our most illustrious Aimed Blow.  This was an interesting 
fight, but an extremely brief one.

That was the arena's only three challenges this turn, all by the Big Lake guild.  That 
same team posted the only avoids, which were mostly directed at the second-ranked 
guild, consisting of the teams Color me Suave and Center for Olds.  Some spy reporters 
would say this is a commendable use of one's available tools.  Alas, I do not know.  
Among my kind, virtue is measured differently than among humans.  To us, avoiding is a 
high virtue indeed.  In any case, the rest of the fights, ten of them, all involved a 
stand-in.

BEDDER (18-10043) (48-89-3,212) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought VERMICIOUS KNID (107-30) (0-
0-0,240) of  .  BEDDER was unbelievably bested by VERMICIOUS KNID in a popular 4 
minute brutal fight.  Pardon my ignorance, but... what is a knid?  What is vermicious?  
And Bedder, of course, is our most puissant Striker.  He was also voted this turn's 
favorite and the overall popularity leader.  Well done!  Smite all the knids you can!

ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (115-65-0,210) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL 
(107-28) (0-0-0,200) of  .  ALMOST PRETTY bested ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in an action 
packed 2 minute brawl.  It was a valiant effort.  Had she succeeded, Almost Pretty 
(whom I find to be lovely) might have won the Horn.  She began this fight with one 
more recognition point than 1977 AMC Matador.

TOE PUPPET (18-9544) (77-44-0,208) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought RIRORNI CAPTAIN (107-26) 
(0-0-0,200) of  .  TOE PUPPET overpowered RIRORNI CAPTAIN in a 1 minute one-sided 
struggle.  Toe Puppet is our premier Parry-Riposte, a difficult style.

JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (76-77-0,183) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought GOJIRO (107-31) (0-0-
0,220) of  .  JELLO KNUCKLES was handily defeated by GOJIRO in a 2 minute uneven 
fight.  Despite losing, Mr. Knuckles is the best Total Parry in our fair arena.

THE HYPHEN-DASH (42-4499) (68-73-1,189) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought TELGOR (107-27) (0-0-
0,200) of  .  THE HYPHEN-DASH was vanquished by TELGOR in a popular 1 minute uneven 
duel.  As our top Lunger, the Hyphen-Dash ought to have defeated Telgor, whoever 
Telgor is.  These stand-ins seem rather disturbing.

1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (99-82-0,209) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL 
(107-28) (0-0-0,200) of  .  1977 AMC MATADOR vanquished ARENAMASTER SANDAVOL in a 2 
minute one-sided Title duel.  Mr. Matador is our most highly respected Wall of Steel 
fighter, as well as being the Champion of the Horn.  Well done!  And defeating the 
Arenamaster is no small feat!

DELAWARE RUN (42-4400) (153-91-5,201) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VILLAINOUS INFORMER 
(107-23) (0-0-0,181) of  .  DELAWARE RUN defeated VILLAINOUS INFORMER in an action 
packed 1 minute match.  Aha!  Another stand-in bites, as they say, the dust.  
Actually, biting dust is no job for a loser.  My people devour amber and rare earths 
in order to maintain a partially physical form.  In any case, Delaware Run is our 
highly celebrated Basher.

IRON BITCH (72-5859) (25-33-2,123) of TWISTED SISTERS fought ZORRO, THE GAY BLADE 
(107-8) (0-0-0,110) of  .  IRON BITCH was overpowered by ZORRO, THE GAY BLADE in a 2 
minute one-sided fight.  This fight was just the right length, and something of a work 
of art.

TANTRUM YOGA (42-4563) (22-14-2,26) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought CAPTURED PIRATE KING 
(107-2) (0-0-0,30) of  .  TANTRUM YOGA was devastated by CAPTURED PIRATE KING in a 1 
minute mismatched conflict.

CHATROOMMATE (18-10034) (21-21-0,41) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought ALASTARIAN DESERTER 
(107-1) (0-0-0,30) of  .  CHATROOMMATE demolished ALASTARIAN DESERTER in a popular 1 
minute mismatched match.  Chatroommate is the arena's most cherished Parry-Lunge.  
Well done!

This concluding my discharge of information to you all, I must depart.  Until next 
turn, may you all practice well and improve your skills.

                                          Respectfully,
                                            Adonis tel Edekin Kalaniah

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Again we meet!

And it is I, once more, Adonis tel Edekin Kalaniah the Ever-Prepared, here to bring 
you a stirring retelling of this day's battles!

BURM WOLFSNARL (81-113) (25-17-0,84) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged I'M POWERLESS 
(59-2629) (23-45-0,80) of BASHAHOLICS ANON.  BURM WOLFSNARL devastated I'M POWERLESS 
in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Mr. Wolfsnarl is no stylemaster, but Mr. 
Powerless is our most highly honored Basher.

SYE THE BEARDED (81-801) (24-12-1,52) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged DIRTY DIAPERS 
(38-5071) (27-33-1,58) of BASH BROS CHILDREN.  SYE THE BEARDED cleaned up DIRTY 
DIAPERS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.

1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (100-82-0,220) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VERMICIOUS KNID 
(107-30) (0-0-0,240) of  .  1977 AMC MATADOR vanquished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 2 minute 
mismatched Title brawl.  1977 AMC Matador is the Champion of the Horn!  What a pity 
that he had to fight a stand-in to defend his title.  At least it seemed a less 
desperate fight than the one last turn, against the Arenamaster.  And he is our 
premier Wall of Steel.

ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (116-65-0,218) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VERMICIOUS KNID (107-
30) (0-0-0,240) of  .  ALMOST PRETTY demolished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 1 minute 
mismatched competition.  I should think so! This was the Vermicious Knid's second 
fight of the day, which is much to ask of anyone!

BEDDER (18-10043) (48-90-3,198) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought IMPRISONED SPY (107-9) (0-0-
0,170) of  .  BEDDER was treacherously bested by IMPRISONED SPY in a crowd pleasing 1 
minute match.  Ah, what a pity, although we will see that Bedder's guildmate delivered 
vengeance in the next fight.

THE HYPHEN-DASH (42-4499) (68-74-1,182) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought IMPRISONED SPY (107-
9) (0-0-0,170) of  .  His eyes flashing with vengeful fury, THE HYPHEN-DASH overcame 
IMPRISONED SPY in an action packed 1 minute fight.  Well done!  The Hyphen-Dash is top 
Lunger.

JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) (76-78-0,177) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought IRON BITCH (72-5859) 
(25-34-2,106) of TWISTED SISTERS.  JELLO KNUCKLES won victory over IRON BITCH in a 
harrowing, action packed 1 minute duel.  Jello Knuckles is top Total Parry, and had 
the distinction of fighting an actual gladiator.  Truly, Iron Bitch is formidable, 
though I do not know her style.

SPAWN'S BLUE BEER (83-403) (19-8-0,57) of BAD SIGNS fought INIGO MONTOYA (33-8054) 
(26-11-1,86) of BIG LAKE BANDITS.  SPAWN'S BLUE BEER was dispatched by INIGO MONTOYA 
in a shocking 1 minute fight.  Mr. Beer is our most highly respected Aimed Blow.  Alas 
for his demise, temporary though it was.  Mr. Montoya is, of course, top Slasher.

OUT FOR A DUCK (83-275) (18-27-0,49) of BAD SIGNS fought CHATROOMMATE (18-10034) (22-
21-0,49) of CENTER FOR OLDS.  OUT FOR A DUCK lost to CHATROOMMATE in a 2 minute duel.  
And no wonder, because Chatroommate is top Parry-Lunge!

TANTRUM YOGA (42-4563) (22-15-2,17) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought RIRORNI SOLDIER (107-3) 
(0-0-0,30) of  .  TANTRUM YOGA defeated RIRORNI SOLDIER in a thrilling and yet rather 
sad 1 minute fight.

HARD KNOCKS (42-4555) (18-18-0,66) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought R.O.U.S. (107-4) (0-0-
0,50) of  .  HARD KNOCKS was overcome by R.O.U.S. in a popular 1 minute bout.  
*shudder*  I loathe rodents.

I am told that the Big Lake Outcasts avoided Color Me Suave.  This could be why four 
fighters from Suave's guild were matched against stand-ins.

Alas, I lack any further news to share with you.  And so I depart.  May you all fare 
gloriously during the interval until next fight day.

                                          ...the Ever-Prepared

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116    101  82  0  233  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496       117  65  0  231  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-OBROJOBO 7-5869              68  54  2  206  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499      69  74  1  185  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-ANZAHANZEK 7-6204            35  38  0  181  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-CAJETAN 7-6036               28  38  1  180  SENTINELS (354)            BONSUR
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       77  78  0  179  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 BEDDER 18-10043              48  91  3  179  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 IRON BITCH 72-5859           25  35  2  119  TWISTED SISTERS (413)      DRAGONHEAD

GRAND CHALLENGER INITIATES     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054        27  11  2  100  BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113        26  17  0   93  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 I'M POWERLESS 59-2629        23  46  0   73  BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)     ILLIS
 SYE THE BEARDED 81-801       25  12  1   66  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE
 SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403     19   9  0   63  BAD SIGNS (397)            TELORINTHE
 CHATROOMMATE 18-10034        23  21  0   55  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 HARD KNOCKS 42-4555          18  19  0   54  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071        27  34  1   48  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME
 OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275        18  28  0   46  BAD SIGNS (397)            TELORINTHE
 TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563         23  15  2   30  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN
SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403  19   9  0 BAD SIGNS 397          INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054     124

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BURM WOLFSNARL devastated I'M POWERLESS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SYE THE BEARDED vanquished DIRTY DIAPERS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
1977 AMC MATADOR vanquished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 2 minute mismatched Title brawl.
ALMOST PRETTY demolished VERMICIOUS KNID in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
BEDDER was bested by IMPRISONED SPY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
THE HYPHEN-DASH overcame IMPRISONED SPY in a action packed 1 minute fight.
JELLO KNUCKLES won victory over IRON BITCH in a action packed 1 minute duel.
SPAWN'S BLUE BEER was dispatched by INIGO MONTOYA in a 1 minute fight.
OUT FOR A DUCK lost to CHATROOMMATE in a 2 minute duel.
TANTRUM YOGA defeated RIRORNI SOLDIER in a exciting 1 minute fight.
HARD KNOCKS was overcome by R.O.U.S. in a popular 1 minute bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       3         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         WALL OF STEEL     19 -   1 -  0      95  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -   4 -  1      71  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -   7 -  1      63  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   7 -  0      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         TOTAL PARRY       13 -  14 -  0      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK     9 -  11 -  0      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -   9 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         BASHING ATTACK    13 -  20 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         AIMED BLOW         5 -  10 -  0      33  |

Turn 124 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116  101  82  0  233 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
LUNGING ATTACK   THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499    69  74  1  185 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
TOTAL PARRY      JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554     77  78  0  179 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
STRIKING ATTACK  BEDDER 18-10043            48  91  3  179 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
SLASHING ATTACK  INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054      27  11  2  100 BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)
BASHING ATTACK   I'M POWERLESS 59-2629      23  46  0   73 BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)
AIMED BLOW       SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403   19   9  0   63 BAD SIGNS (397)
PARRY-LUNGE      CHATROOMMATE 18-10034      23  21  0   55 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)

The overall popularity leader is BEDDER 18-10043.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116.  The ten other most popular fighters were ALMOST PRETTY 
42-4496, THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499, OUT FOR A DUCK 83-275, CHATROOMMATE 18-10034, SYE 
THE BEARDED 81-801, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563, HARD KNOCKS 
42-4555, BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113, and BEDDER 18-10043.

The least popular fighter this week was SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403.  The other ten 
least popular fighters were DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, I'M POWERLESS 59-2629, INIGO 
MONTOYA 33-8054, IRON BITCH 72-5859, BEDDER 18-10043, BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113, HARD 
KNOCKS 42-4555, TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563, JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, and SYE THE BEARDED 
81-801.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
TALCAMA(18)          1  1 0  RODEKI(42)           5  1 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      2  0 0  
NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  0 1  ILLIS(59)            0  1 0  TELORINTHE(83)       0  2 0  
CLIFFHOME(38)        0  1 0  DRAGONHEAD(72)       0  1 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BEDDER 18-10043             48  91  3  179  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054       27  11  2  100  BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071       27  34  1   48  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116   101  82  0  233  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 I'M POWERLESS 59-2629       23  46  0   73  BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)     ILLIS
 IRON BITCH 72-5859          25  35  2  119  TWISTED SISTERS (413)      DRAGONHEAD
 BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113       26  17  0   93  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE
 SPAWN'S BLUE BEER 83-403    19   9  0   63  BAD SIGNS (397)            TELORINTHE