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Date   : 05/02/2017    Duedate: 05/15/2017

STORM ROCK ARENA

DM 107    TURN 148

RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    %  RANK TEAMS                 W    L   K    % 
  1 HOYT FOUNDATI 8/427   65   43   2 60.2      CENTER FOR OLDS 18/364
    BIG LAKE BANDITS 33/409                   3 RHYME TYME 55/385    378  317   3 54.4
    BIG LAKE OUTCASTS 81/410                  4 BASHAHOLICS  59/375  284  353   6 44.6
  2 COLOR ME SUA 42/365  615  446   2 58.0      BASH BROS CHILDREN 38/407

                                 THE GUARDIAN'S FORUM
                       Reflections by the Champion of the Horn

                                      Storm Rock 
                                     Thee I mock.
                               And you, Almost Pretty, 
                              You wish you were like me.
                             I poked a hole in your belly
                                   You were bloody
                                         Ew.
                                       I rock.

                                          -- Mod Cod

 

                             REPORT FROM WITHIN THE TOWER

Salutations, fierce defenders of Storm Rock!
     There were ten fights today, half of them involving a stand-in, so a mere fifteen 
gladiators participated.  It almost makes me weep, that a noble institution such as 
Storm Rock Arena would have so few adherents.  Still, the fights that did happen were 
extraordinary displayes of courage and prowess.
     As usual, the Big Lake guild did all of the challenging.  This time, all three 
challengers won, which is a nice change!  Members of the Suave guild were challenged, 
not surprisingly since they tend to be the worthiest opponents.  Other than those 
fights, the Suave guild fought four stand-ins, defeating two of them, a worthy 
achievement.
     SYE THE BEARDED (81-801) (37-20-1,171) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged HARD 
KNOCKS (42-4555) (31-29-0,166) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  SYE THE BEARDED devastated HARD 
KNOCKS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.  Hard Knocks is our most feared Aimed 
Blow, and yet it did not help him.
     BURM WOLFSNARL (81-113) (40-22-0,173) of BIG LAKE OUTCASTS challenged TANTRUM 
YOGA (42-4563) (34-27-2,147) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  BURM WOLFSNARL subdued TANTRUM YOGA 
in an exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.  Tantrum Yoga is Storm Rock's most highly 
respected Parry-Lunge.
     INIGO MONTOYA (33-8054) (33-25-2,123) of BIG LAKE BANDITS challenged CHATROOMMATE 
(18-10034) (35-32-0,154) of CENTER FOR OLDS.  INIGO MONTOYA overpowered CHATROOMMATE 
in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.  Inigo Montoya is the arena's top Slasher.
     MOD COD (55-2638) (273-188-4,320) of RHYME TYME fought JELLO KNUCKLES (42-4554) 
(93-85-0,216) of COLOR ME SUAVE.  MOD COD devastated JELLO KNUCKLES in a 1 minute one-
sided Title fight.  Mod Cod is our most fearsome Lunger, while Jello Knuckles is the 
premier Total Parry.  And of course, Mod Cod is still the Champion of the Horn.  By 
the way, Mod Cod, I did not thank you for your column last turn.  Thank you!  It was 
clever and entertaining.  Perhaps that is why you are still the overall popularity 
leader.
     THE HYPHEN-DASH (42-4499) (86-80-1,268) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought VERMICIOUS KNID 
(107-30) (0-0-0,240) of  .  THE HYPHEN-DASH savagely defeated VERMICIOUS KNID in a 3 
minute competition.
     BEDDER (18-10043) (61-101-3,202) of CENTER FOR OLDS fought CRYSALIS GUARD (107-
29) (0-0-0,200) of  .  BEDDER was defeated by CRYSALIS GUARD in a 2 minute struggle.  
Bedder is our most highly celebrated Striker.
     1977 AMC MATADOR (42-4116) (118-88-0,198) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought AMBER 
WOLFWALKER (107-11) (0-0-0,220) of  .  1977 AMC MATADOR was overpowered by AMBER 
WOLFWALKER in a 2 minute mismatched brawl.
     ALMOST PRETTY (42-4496) (134-71-0,210) of COLOR ME SUAVE fought CLOTTO (107-25) 
(0-0-0,181) of  .  ALMOST PRETTY vanquished CLOTTO in an action packed 3 minute gory 
uneven duel.  Almost Pretty is the best Wall of Steel, and definitely pretty.  She was 
voted this turn's favorite fighter.
     I'M POWERLESS (59-2629) (32-60-0,19) of BASHAHOLICS ANON fought THE ANXIOUS MAN 
(8-5589) (18-13-1,68) of HOYT FOUNDATION.  I'M POWERLESS vanquished THE ANXIOUS MAN in 
a 1 minute one-sided duel.  I'm powerless is, of course, our top-ranked Basher.  Oddly 
for a Basher, I'm Powerless has not filled out the gender portion of the Commission's 
enrollment form.
     DIRTY DIAPERS (38-5071) (35-49-2,45) of BASH BROS CHILDREN fought RIRORNI SOLDIER 
(107-3) (0-0-0,30) of  .  DIRTY DIAPERS savagely defeated RIRORNI SOLDIER in an action 
packed 2 minute match.
     And that, my brave ones, is the entirety of my report this turn.  Be well until 
next time!

                                       -- Adonis tel Edekin Kalaniah the Ever-Prepared

CHAMPION OF THE HORN           W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 MOD COD 55-2638             274 188  4  335  RHYME TYME (385)           KHALANI

GRAND CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499      87  80  1  276  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496       135  71  0  218  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI

GRAND CHAMPIONS                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554       93  86  0  210  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 BEDDER 18-10043              61 102  3  196  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116    118  89  0  190  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 SYE THE BEARDED 81-801       38  20  1  182  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE

GRAND CHALLENGER ADEPTS        W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113        41  22  0  176  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE
 HARD KNOCKS 42-4555          31  30  0  163  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054        34  25  2  151  BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)     NIATOLI ISLAND

GRAND ADEPTS                   W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563         34  28  2  150  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 CHATROOMMATE 18-10034        35  33  0  130  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA

GRAND INITIATES                W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
-MADAME HYDRA 45-4752         18   7  1   62  DARQUE FORCES (348)        STORMCROWE
 I'M POWERLESS 59-2629        33  60  0   58  BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)     ILLIS
-PROF. MONKEYPANTS 20-409     14  11  1   54  I'M NOT EGGBERT (421)      SEAM
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071        36  49  2   49  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME
 THE ANXIOUS MAN 8-5589       18  14  1   33  HOYT FOUNDATION (427)      ARKERS

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                   W   L  K TEAM NAME              SLAIN BY                  TURN

                               PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SYE THE BEARDED devastated HARD KNOCKS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
BURM WOLFSNARL subdued TANTRUM YOGA in a exciting 2 minute Challenge melee.
INIGO MONTOYA overpowered CHATROOMMATE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
MOD COD devastated JELLO KNUCKLES in a 1 minute one-sided Title fight.
THE HYPHEN-DASH savagely defeated VERMICIOUS KNID in a 3 minute competition.
BEDDER was defeated by CRYSALIS GUARD in a 2 minute struggle.
1977 AMC MATADOR was overpowered by AMBER WOLFWALKER in a 2 minute mismatched brawl.
ALMOST PRETTY vanquished CLOTTO in a action packed 3 minute gory uneven duel.
I'M POWERLESS vanquished THE ANXIOUS MAN in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DIRTY DIAPERS savagely defeated RIRORNI SOLDIER in a action packed 2 minute match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         LUNGING ATTACK    18 -   2 -  0      90  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY       13 -   5 -  0      72  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         WALL OF STEEL     13 -   7 -  0      65  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -   9 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         BASHING ATTACK     9 -  11 -  1      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         AIMED BLOW         4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         SLASHING ATTACK    4 -   7 -  0      36  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  14 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   2 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 148 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MOD COD 55-2638           274 188  4  335 RHYME TYME (385)
WALL OF STEEL    ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496     135  71  0  218 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
TOTAL PARRY      JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554     93  86  0  210 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
STRIKING ATTACK  BEDDER 18-10043            61 102  3  196 CENTER FOR OLDS (364)
AIMED BLOW       HARD KNOCKS 42-4555        31  30  0  163 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
SLASHING ATTACK  INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054      34  25  2  151 BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)
PARRY-LUNGE      TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563       34  28  2  150 COLOR ME SUAVE (365)
BASHING ATTACK   I'M POWERLESS 59-2629      33  60  0   58 BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)

The overall popularity leader is MOD COD 55-2638.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was ALMOST PRETTY 42-4496.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE HYPHEN-DASH 
42-4499, DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071, BURM WOLFSNARL 81-113, TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563, SYE THE 
BEARDED 81-801, HARD KNOCKS 42-4555, MOD COD 55-2638, BEDDER 18-10043, 1977 AMC 
MATADOR 42-4116, and I'M POWERLESS 59-2629.

The least popular fighter this week was THE ANXIOUS MAN 8-5589.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were JELLO KNUCKLES 42-4554, CHATROOMMATE 18-10034, INIGO MONTOYA 
33-8054, I'M POWERLESS 59-2629, 1977 AMC MATADOR 42-4116, BEDDER 18-10043, MOD COD 
55-2638, HARD KNOCKS 42-4555, SYE THE BEARDED 81-801, and TANTRUM YOGA 42-4563.

Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  Arena (Number)       W  L K  
ARKERS(8)            0  1 0  CLIFFHOME(38)        1  0 0  ILLIS(59)            1  0 0  
TALCAMA(18)          0  2 0  RODEKI(42)           2  4 0  SHADOWSPIRE(81)      2  0 0  
NIATOLI ISLAND(33)   1  0 0  KHALANI(55)          1  0 0  

TOP WARRIOR OF EACH ARENA     W   L  K PNTS  TEAM NAME                  CITY           
 THE ANXIOUS MAN 8-5589      18  14  1   33  HOYT FOUNDATION (427)      ARKERS
 BEDDER 18-10043             61 102  3  196  CENTER FOR OLDS (364)      TALCAMA
 INIGO MONTOYA 33-8054       34  25  2  151  BIG LAKE BANDITS (409)     NIATOLI ISLAND
 DIRTY DIAPERS 38-5071       36  49  2   49  BASH BROS CHILDREN (407)   CLIFFHOME
 THE HYPHEN-DASH 42-4499     87  80  1  276  COLOR ME SUAVE (365)       RODEKI
 MOD COD 55-2638            274 188  4  335  RHYME TYME (385)           KHALANI
 I'M POWERLESS 59-2629       33  60  0   58  BASHAHOLICS ANON (375)     ILLIS
 SYE THE BEARDED 81-801      38  20  1  182  BIG LAKE OUTCASTS (410)    SHADOWSPIRE

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